Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, all that I have written would not be languishing on fanfiction and fictionpress, it would actually be published. I don't own the song Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths either.

Please, Please, Please

It's torture pretending.

It's torture to act like he doesn't give a damn.

He sees her everyday and she makes his skin crawl with self-consciousness and unadulterated want(it feels as though she's running the tips of her fingers over his body-it's what she does in his dreams before he wakes up, gasping, sweaty),his face heat up at her careless bee-stung smile which is pure seduction, his back, his neck, his entire body tingle with hot arousal and he feels like a freak because Merlin, she's brought him to his knees, he can barely retain coherent thought in her presence. It's like she's a trigger for all his fantasies the moment she walks into the room, her hips swaying, that ever-present silver scarf(for Slytherin-she must rebel, of course, and it makes him laugh, because they always work, her strategies to provoke her family) tied jauntily around her neck, her hair, her waist(he dreams about first ripping it off, and then oops, there go the rest of her clothes),and she's jangling with all her junk jewellery, one day dressed like an American cowgirl, the next like a twenties Muggle film star(she always loved dress up, even when she was a kid-only now, because he knows her so well, he can't help wondering what she's trying to hide-what she's trying to protect).

Everyone thinks, expects that of course, Teddy's completely in love with Victoire, I expected it all along, and I give it until Christmas, but no, they're wrong, it's not the eldest Weasley cousin he has a thing for, it's the youngest(though she's technically a Potter). And he wonders if he's a sexual deviant although these days it's all age is no bar, and if Harry (and, come to think of it, all her uncles too) will beat him up if they get to know.

He dreams about running his fingers through her curling claret hair, over her pale, unblemished skin (would it be as soft as he thinks it is?).

He dreams that she dreams about him.

And he wishes, tries to fool himself that yes, it is purely physical, and it's only natural, she's a beautiful girl, but that stupidfuckinggoddamn feeling refuses to go away. And then he can't deny it, that Lily's always been the light of his life, even earlier, when she was young and she forced him(but he was willing all the while),both laughing, to 'explore' and 'imagine' and play dolls and fairies, all those things little girls love to do, and now, now that she's older, and he's the first person he comes to when she's crying and feeling like a failure in all ways(because she's not a tomboy like her mother, and not noble and righteous like her father, she's mediocre and human and Slytherin-and in his opinion, beautiful, but he won't tell her that and anyway, she wouldn't believe it- and she wants assurance that it's okay to be so, and he kisses her forehead and tells her, yes, it is).

And then when she smiles her smile at him, he feels like he could move mountains and do anything, everything. She is his strength, and she is beauty, and finally, finally, she is like water to his parched throat, she is home(after years of searching),and he hasn't felt it before, but he knows with frightening certainty that this is love.

And it is so completely impossible.

And still so, so, easy.

And his heart is slowly breaking, crumbling because she's stopped looking at him these days, and he knows as he gets older and older(it suddenly strikes him that he's nearly thirty, for Merlin's sake) she will notice him less and less. And he will pine away for her, and unrequited love was something he used to laugh at and kid his friends about(because being completely gorgeous, as the girls he knew put it, it was never something he had to worry about) but now it's so real, and it hurts so much, beyond anything he's ever known. Love for him, he knows, will always be watching from the sidelines as she entrances one boy after another, and finally stays with one of them for keeps. Love will become being a shadow, and constant loneliness. It will become cynical, and laugh at its alter ego of brightly coloured flowers and Valentine bears. And it will never, never, never let go of him. Because he cannot have her, and his stubborn heart refuses to understand that.

There's a word. It's quite a common word- circumstances.

It means a state of affairs, according to Merriam-Webster.

In this case, circumstances are the fact that he is eleven years older than the girl of his dreams. Circumstances are that he's known her family for years and she's like his baby sister (and it would be so wrong to think any other way, but he's already gone too far).Circumstances are that her cousin, who is much nearer him in age, expects him to ask her out any day now(and it's not like he's been giving her much reason to believe anything else-he is a cad, a user, a heartless bastard, and he knows it).Circumstances are that he is irrevocably in love with Lily and that's not going to change anytime soon, no matter how hard he tries.

He wishes he could obliterate that word. Squash it out of existence.

It wouldn't change anything, though, would it?

He wishes he could stop being the moth to her brightly-burning (dazzling, beautiful, brilliant, glowing) flame. He wishes he could stop feeling that if he just tried, if he just said it, once (I love you, Lily), everything would change and they could be the two pieces of a puzzle, fitting together as if they were made for each other.

(Oh, please, please, please, let me, let me, let me get what I want.)

A/N: So...this is my companion piece to Careful.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

OMG. You know, I was suffering from a complete and total lack of inspiration for the last couple of days. I was lounging around and feeling completely and totally miserable.

And then I sat down in front of MS Word for the nth time and stared at the blank screen. And the first line suddenly popped into my head.

And from then on, it just came.

Has this ever happened to you?

And thank you, MileyKapri, SqueakySwings, and FollowThisRhythm, for your lovely reviews of Careful. You have no idea how much it means to me to have such a great response to my first fanfic.

I stole some of the popular ideas in TeddyLilyverse-like the silver scarf, and Lily being in Slytherin. I hope you forgive me. :P

Review, please! I'd like to know-did I put too much stuff into parentheses? Does it flow well? How can I improve? What would you like to see next? Also, what is the song you think most fits this pairing? I think it's Thinking of You, by Katy Perry, or Careful, by Michelle Featherstone, from Lily's side, and Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths from Teddy's. I'm curious, what can I say? Lol.

God, this Author's Note is getting longer than the story. I guess there's a lot I wanted to say. :)

Bye!