Small, white clouds of hot air were being released in time with short pant and gasps. The air itself was icy, inhaling too deeply actually stung like a dozens of small needles pricking your neck from the inside.
By now the snowfall had become so hard, the sight was almost as limited as if a thick fog would have covered the area. His right arm was tired from swinging his weapon around so often and his muscles were protesting against each movement, just as his lungs were.

He was freezing, small shivers wracking his frame and he could feel the beginnings of a fever raising. There was no way that they could win this battle on their own, but they had to hold this damn bridge at least until reinforcement arrived.
Just barely did he managed to surpress a cough, thought his sight did start to blur slightly around the edges. Seeing as he'd requested aid already quite some time ago, he was actually a bit uneasy about having gotten no reply so far.

The sound of several feet crushing the snow beneath their weight reached his ears.
Keeping up his happy-go-lucky expression and personality he addressed what was left of his company with a bright smile. „Aaaaaaaaaand here comes another wave! Prepare to send them back to their other comerades!"
He'd just barely finished speaking and turned back to face the enemy when a dizzy spell hit him and he just managed in time to shift his weight and bit his lip.
Just a little bit more... just a little bit longer. If only he could hold out a little bit longer.

The noise of the enemy quickly got closer and he'd just had time to rip up his weapon in time to fend of the first few attempts on his life.
Quickly he twirled around and effectively put some distance between them, before making the blade on his shield rotate to fend of the next wave of attacks.
As he fought the invaders, he felt how he was slowly but surely being pushed backwards. His troops too had been pushed back and by now they had had to give up already half of the bridge to the enemy.
„I have to stop them.", the youth thought, narrowing his eyes as he tried to focus.
Whipping his weapon to the front and sending it flying, it made the first row of soldiers either jump back or getting smacked against their chest. Some unlucky ones were instantly killed by the rotating blades.

„Here goes nothing...", he whispered to himself, feeling the pent up energy releasing all at once, as he fired of the fireworks hidden in his weapon in time with swinging it around.
A spectacular dance along with fireworks. That was what Lady Nene had called this once. Hanbei couldn't really say he agreed. In the end, this was nothing more or less than a desperate attack that was meant to clear the field around him and hopefully send their opponents scrambling back where they came from.

Just as he was about to reel the wheel back in, there was a heavy crushing sound from somewhere behind him, following by the reeling to his right crashing down.
At the same time someone must have fallen off the bridge and broken through the ice.
With a soft click the blade-disc landed on it's holding, the wire once more out of sight.
„Lord Kanbei!!!", someone suddenly called out behind him.

It was one of the officers closer soldiers, who looked down onto the frozen river, that now sprouted a large hole, in horror.
It took a few seconds before Hanbei actually acknowledged the suddenly grown army on his side and was able to make the connection.
His eyes widened in surprise and darted downwards as well.
He'd...
His thoughts were cut off as the enemy apparently had caught on as well and noticed his distressed expression. „Get them now while they are still confused!!!"

What happened afterward Hanbei wasn't really sure he'd be able to explain. All he knew that rage had filled his heart and that because of those stupid idiots standing in his way he couldn't instantly order a search for his best friend.
That day, he colored both the snow and himself crimson until no one of the other side was left standing.
Afterwards he must have collapsed, because he couldn't remember much else.

The next thing he did however remember, was Kanbei's blue-ish face staring up at him, eyes empty and emotionless. A moment later he'd become aware that the other man was floating in the water. A thick layer of ice separating them.
A nightmare, as he found out a bit later, when he shoot up from his dream.
His sister, Oyu, had drenched the cloth a bit to much in cold water in an attempt to bring his fever down and had spilled some onto his chest. The shock of the sudden change in temperature had most likely woken him up and spared him from less... harmless dreams.

No one visited him as he struggled both with the fever and the constant coughs in the following days.
Dark circles had started forming itself underneath his eyes as he barely cought any sleep. When no nightmares of Kanbei's dead face staring up at him haunted him, his cough would shake him awake.
On the third day after his fatal error on the bridge, Hideyoshi and his wife Nene slid into the room when he was in a more stable condition.

He tried to sit up and kneel, but Lady Nene wouldn't have any of that and promptly tucked him back in, scolding him, before sitting back to the side of Hideyoshi.
The man seemed deeply troubled and unable to meet his gaze. Not that Hanbei couldn't understand that. He himself was not able to look the other in the face either after all.

„I just... I just wanted to let you know... that we don't blame you for what happened."
„What?! But I-"
„tried to fulfill the orders given by me. It was an accident that you actually got Kanbei with that attack as well...", Hideyoshi cut him off, before faltering and seeming to get more serious as well. His eyes closed in pain for a moment, the silence tense, before the so called monkey continued. „An accident that has cost Kanbei his live, but an accident nevertheless."

Hanbei didn't knew what he was supposed to say to that. If Hideyoshi had scolded him, accused him, blamed and punished him, he'd have been able to understand it a lot more. That was what would have made sense.
Yet... With Hideyoshi doing no such thing... In fact, it seemed as if he was forgiving him... It only made his chest tighten even more, made the knot in his neck swell up and feel even more guilty.
Why hadn't he just fought them off a bit more? Why had he not noticed Kanbei arriving and broken off the attack? Was it the fever? Yes... most likely that was what was partly at fault. He'd only heard the rushing of his blood as he'd unleashed his gathered fury upon the enemy...
Why was it that his stupid body had to be so weak? Why did it have to be Kanbei? Why his friend? Why... Why couldn't it have been him?
He didn't have that long to live anymore anyway... Why did he have to drag his best friend down?
What was he supposed to tell to his son? He doubted that he'd call him 'uncle Hanbei' again if he learned about the truth...

He only noticed that he was alone once more when hot tears finally rolled over his cheeks and he blinked to try and get rid of them.
With guilty weighting him down and almost seeming to crush him, he curled up into a ball, hiding his face in his cushion and cried, while his body shook and he started coughing again.
If only this misery would end.

Would his health issue drag more of his important people down?
He'd already taken Kanbei's live with his actions... and Oyu was forced to take care of him all the time as well, his health being the chain that tied her to his side...
Who would be next? Lady Nene? Lord Hideyoshi?
If only... If only it would finally end...
How long did he have to continue living?
How long was he forced to endure this pain?
If only... it would finally end...

„Hanbei?... Hanbei! Come on! Open your eyes!!!"
That voice was so disturbingly familiar.
Strong hands gripped his shoulders so tightly and shook him that it hurt. It was cold. So very cold.
As he opened his heavy eyelids he didn't knew who to expect. His head hurt and he felt really bad.
His eyes widened when he suddenly recognized the very familiar face of Kanbei before him. But Kanbei was death...Oh...
„Have you come to get me?", he inquired, with a strange peaceful smile.
„Payback for killing you, eh? Are you going to drag me in the cold water too and have me drown?"

Kanbei gave him a weird look. „I'm not going to do such a thing and you didn't kill me. See? I'm very alive." With those words the taller male placed Hanbei's own hand against his cheek. That actually felt warm. Alive.
Startled the strategist ripped his hand back and looked at the other as if he'd grown a second head. „Impossible. You are dead! DEAD! I tossed you over the bridge! You felt into the cold water. It's impossible for you to have survived. If you hadn't drowned, you'd have frozen to death! You are dead, dead, DEAD! And I killed you! It's my fault!!!"

Again tears were starting to flow, but as he cried out and backed away, shaking his throbbing head, the painful coughs started up again.
This time it felt, as if with each time his body shook, someone drove a knife right trough his chest.
„Shh...", someone made, drawing his tensed up body back against a warm body. Due to all those tears covering and blurring his sight, he couldn't make out who was taking care of him so tenderly, nor who pushed the cup filled with warm liquid against his lips.
All he knew was that as the warmth was starting to fill up his cold body, the coughs were starting to stop and the pain faded away and he got really drowsy, his heavy eyelids falling shut once more and his body going limp.

Again he found his eyes slowly opening to face the ceiling of his room once more. His eyes hurt and were slightly swollen and he remembered the weird dream he had.
Kanbei alive. Yeah right. As if anyone could survive falling into a frozen river with those temperatures.
With a sigh he rolled to the side and promptly froze.
He was faced with a black clad knee that seemed awfully familiar.
His breath stopped for a moment, before he quickly darted his eyes upwards.

Startled he shoot up from his lying position into a sitting one and promptly reached for Kanbei's cheek.
A strong hand almost instantly shoot up to clamp down hard around his wrist as the eyes of the sleeping general shoot open.
A sound of surprise and pain had escaped the older strategist and his hand was almost instantly released. „Hanbei! Are you better now?"

The smaller one didn't get a chance to reply as the other tipped their foreheads together to check his temperature. „... Well, it seems at least that your fever got down to a tolerable level, if not gone completely..."
Kanbei drew back and promptly pulled the sheets up to cover Hanbei, who looked at him with an undefinable expression.

Unnerved at being started at, the usually silent one found himself taking. „Really. What were you thinking giving everyone such a fright? One could think that YOU were the one that took a cold dip. Lord Hideyoshi already thought he really would have to bury one of his generals after all."
„How can you be here?"
The smaller officer's question cut Kanbei off before he could think of something else to say to fill the silence.
„Excuse me?"
„I kicked you off the bridge and you broke the ice and feel into the water. If the shock of the cold water didn't kill you, then you should have drowned. There was no hole in the ice..."

The white painted warrior gave a dry grin. „That almost sounds as if you planned on killing me, you know? But to cut a long story short... The current of the river was rather strong and ripped me along before I even realized that I was in the water. The next thing I know I was more or less falling free, before hitting the water again. Turns out there was a small waterfall a bit downwards and I feel into the lake that had not frozen up completely yet."
He took a small breath before continuing.
„I twisted my ankle somewhat, but I guess I got lucky and managed to make it out of the water rather quick. There was a small path close by that lead a bit into the forest. Followed it and ended up at a lumberjack's house. Good thing was he'd just made a fire or I might have really frozen to death. It took a bit to recover well enough to leave again thought, especially my ankle... When I returned I happened to be just disturbing Mitsunari's party at my decease and Hideyoshi thinking of what to say at my funeral and you apparently deciding to follow after me by burning up in fever."

„I...", Hanbei started, but didn't know what to say.
This sounded so... unbelievable lucky? Too much like an ending of a novel.
„Do I need to tweak your nose or something until you will believe that I'm very much alive?"
„Wha... No! … No..."
It was as if the truth only slowly sunk in. A small, tired smile appearing on his lips, before he found himself once more sharing tears. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn't keep them back no matter how hard he tried. The relief that Kanbei was actually alive and that he hadn't actually killed him was just too big.
„O... Oi...", the other protested, feeling a bit overwhelmed with the situation and not knowing what to do.
Hesitantly he patted the other on the head after a few minutes and was rewarded by a heartfelt chuckle a bit later.

„Hahaha... And here I thought I had killed you..."
A frown appeared on the others expression. „I fail to see what would have been so funny about that."
The weird giddy feeling in the Takenaka's chest disappeared as quickly as he'd come and he managed to whip his tears away and stop the flow after all. „Noting at all.", he agreed and after a moment of hesitation just leaned his forehead against the other's shoulder. „I'm just glad that you are alive. That is all."
Despite the awkwardness of the situation neither made a movement to separate for a while.

When Kanbei actually couldn't stand it any longer and carefully grabbed the other's shoulders to push him back, he realized the other had fallen asleep against him.
Taking once more notice of the eye rings, the taller man sighed and then tucked they strategist with the boyish appearance in. They'd have a talk about Hanbei taking care of himself at a later point – once again – when both of them were rested.
For now he returned the matter of the other's health back into the hands of his sister and withdrew to his own quarters. He had a son to reassure, Mitsunari's mood to ruin, Nene's pampering to fight off and rest for his body to get.