So this one is being posted courtesy of those who asked about my other stories and wanted to read this one! This one was very carthartic, at least until I got to the more happy part of it and stalled. I was really feeling Lucas in this one. Tried something new here too. Have the Lucas overvoice like in the show. Let me know if you like it, if it works. Anywho. Hope you enjoy. Let me know if its too many stories at once. I figured this gives u more updates, even though they arent the same story, but if its too much, I can stop at this one.

Set after 4.22 Everything up to the hospital scene happens, except Dan does not turn himself in. Karen goes into cardiac arrest, but after seeing Keith and hearing Lily call for her, she waits too long and doesn't make it back.

Dedicated to everyone who has lost someone special- How sad that there are so many of us out there. But you are not alone.

Disclaimer: Dont own anything. I just play with Schwanns toys and then put them back.

---LP---

Chapter 1

Lucas: Did you ever wonder what the formula was for the amount of pain and suffering one had to go through in life? Who decides that one person can handle the death of two mothers and an absentee father, and another a suicidal mother and a sociopathic father capable of murdering his own brother? And does the knowledge that another's suffering is greater mean that you cannot feel the pain of your own?

My biological father abandoned me. But so did Peyton's, if you think about it. But she has Larry, and I have Keith. At least, I had Keith.

My uncle Keith was murdered when I was 17. But for 17 years, I had two 'parents' who loved me. Brooke has had no parental figure in her life since any of us can remember.

It doesn't matter that my heartache was less than theirs, right? Because my heart still hurts.

Everyday I lived with the pain of having lost the only father I had ever known. Recently I've had to suffer through the knowledge that the person who took him away from me was the person whose shoes he so willingly filled.

Wasn't that enough? Hadn't I reached my quota?

Good question. I'm sure Peyton asked the same question when she lost her mother at 8 years old. And again when her father left her for weeks at a time. And again when Jake left her. And again when she lost Ellie, making her motherless twice over. God, what a world.

So apparently I hadn't reached my quota either, because today, the formula of my life now included the burial of my mother.

Tortured artist and tortured athlete. Everyone always said we were like twins. I wonder if our nicknames would now change to Motherless artist and athlete.

No, they had it right the first time. If only they knew.

"Blessed Assur-ance. Jesus is mine. Oh was a savior, of glory di-vine."

I stood there motionless as the choir sang for my mother as they lay her in the ground. Or maybe they sang for the crowd of people that came to mourn the death of a vital figure in the town. Teenage mother, almost mayor. Ostracized by scandal, owner of the two hottest locations in town. A cornerstone, both of the good and the bad of Tree Hill, North Carolina.

I felt like my world had ended, but I didn't feel the right to feel that way. I looked over at Peyton and realized why.

I wasn't the first to lose a mother. My girlfriend had lost two. And at the sight of her standing next to me, my rock- my strength, I felt guilty for feeling numb. She lost a mother at 8, with only her father and Brooke for consolation. I was a man, 18 years old, months away from living on my own, with a brother and sister-in-law, who also happened to be my best friend, right by my side, and a girlfriend who had been through it, twice, ready to help me through it. I also had a beautiful baby sister to remember her by.

So all in all, I had not right to the feeling that life was unfair, when it had treated me more kindly than most. But it hurt all the same, and I couldn't fight the feeling.

So I didn't.

----LP----

"Luke!" Peyton called out after his retreating figure. She watched helplessly as he made it to his car and jumped in the drivers seat, peeling out of the cemetery as if the hounds of hell were chasing him.

Having lost a parent before, she imagined that to him, it felt that way.

She was so proud of him- she believed he had made it through what was the most difficult part of losing a family member. He stood stoically beside her throughout the program, not shedding a tear as the minister presided over the funeral.

At the wake the night before he accepted solemnly the condolences of the people who had shunned his mother in life, but had nothing but great things to say about her in death. The only difficult moment came when Dan had arrived in his capacity as the mayor of Tree Hill. The unchecked violence in Lucas' gaze had him making his way quickly through the receiving line, pitifully short with only Lucas and the baby as her remaining family. Peyton didn't count herself, though she felt the loss of Karen as keenly as she had the loss of Ellie not even a year ago. She had stood in the line as the caretaker of the baby, Lucas unable to manage the role on his own. Peyton herself was barely holding it together with the loss of the woman who had been a mother to all of them at one time or another, but this wasn't her time to grieve. Lucas had been strong for her when Ellie died- It was her turn to be there for him.

And so, with Peyton believing the worst was behind them, she looked on sympathetically as Lucas walked up to the grave, the last to throw a handful of dirt. He stood there, holding the dirt while Peyton held her breath- she saw the struggle in his gaze as he stared at the open hole. She released her breath as he released the dirt, both floating through the air with a note of finality. She turned to walk back to the car, only to halt when Lucas didn't move, but continued to stare after the dirt that made its way onto the casket, now indistinguishable from what others had contributed.

Peyton stood quietly, juggling the sleeping baby, wanting to be there for him but understanding he needed a moment. Understanding, until his mad dash across the cemetery and away from her. She shouldn't have been surprised, but she was. Lucas Scott was not known for facing his problems head on, but there was more than himself that would be affected by his actions. She wondered if he would remember that.

With one last glance at the empty space where his car used to be, Peyton gathered the baby tighter to her chest, and picked her way over to where Nathan and Haley waited patiently.

Lucas had lost a mother, but they had all lost something vital, and it was unclear how they would ever pick up the pieces.

"What are you gonna do?" Haley whispered standing by worriedly as Peyton laid the sleeping baby into the crib. Lucas' old crib, set up in the corner of Karen's room.

"Get some sleep while she's sleeping, I hope." Peyton said sighing, leaning heavily on the edge of the crib.

"I meant about Lucas." Haley said, placing an arm on Peyton's shoulders.

Peyton raised her eyes to Haley's. "I know you did."

Turning, she made her way out of the room and into the kitchen, Haley following.

"So?" Haley probed impatiently as Peyton continued her silence, sinking into a kitchen chair and laying her head onto her arms.

"Nothing, Haley." Peyton snapped, then softened her voice at the look on Haley's face. "I'm not going to do anything. Lucas will come home when he's ready."

"But it's been hours!" Haley protested. "He's missed the lunch reception, and dinner. He's not at the Rivercourt, or the café…"

"And what exactly do you think I can do about that, that Skills and Junk and Fergie haven't already thought of, Haley?" Peyton threw up her hands in frustration. "This is Lucas we're talking about here! He just lost his mom, Haley, and he's hurting, and he's trying to deal with it the best way he knows how." She picked up a dishrag and toyed with it in agitation. "And since he is a grown man, and not a child, I am going to let him be."

Peyton sighed at the tears in Haley's eyes, and calmed, pulling her into a hug. "I'm sorry. I know you're worried." And hormonal, Peyton thought to herself. "But right now, The baby is my first priority, since Luke isn't in any position to make her his."

"I know. You're right. And I'm sorry." Haley sniffed, accepting the comfort from Peyton's embrace. "I just thought maybe you would know of places we don't, since you guys are like twins." They were both able to manage a laugh at that one.

"And now, we get to be alike in even more ways." Peyton murmured, tears welling up in her own eyes.

Haley looked up at the tone in Peyton's voice, and it was her turn to offer comfort. "Sometimes I forget she was like a mother to you too."

"Yeah. I'm getting to be a pro at losing mothers. It's a good thing I don't have any more to lose." Peyton sniffed, a watery laugh escaping from her mouth.

"Well, since I cant tell Lucas, I'm telling you. We're here for you when you need us." Haley said, squeezing Peyton tightly.

"Thanks Haley," Peyton said gratefully. "Just remember that the same goes for you too."

"A lot of us lost our 'mother' today."

----LP-----

Peyton stirred in her sleep, a frown etching lines into her face. Something was wrong- it had been too long. The baby should have been awake by now. She moved to get up out of bed, and...

"Whoa! Careful. Baby on board." Brooke warned, and Peyton checked herself as she rolled over, realizing that the weight behind her back was not Brooke or Haley, as she assumed, but the baby, who was lying on the bed in between the two women.

"You know she has a crib." Peyton said, belying her words as she adjusted onto her side to face Brooke and pulled the baby into the crook of her body.

"I know, but she was wiggling and she looked like she was about to cry, and I didn't want her to wake you, so I brought her into bed with us." Brooke whispered.

"Okayyy, but why are you whispering?" Peyton asked, yawning.

"Because the baby might hear and catch on to the plot." Brooke whispered back.

"You know babies don't understand what you are saying right?" Peyton chuckled. "Brookie cookie is a little nuts, but we love her anyway." Peyton whispered to the baby.

"Whatever." Brooke sniffed. "Says the woman who just had a conversation with a baby herself."

"You got me there," Peyton admitted, before looking at Brooke in puzzlement. "What are you doing here, by the way? I thought everybody went home?"

"They did." Brooke said simply. "But I've been friends with you for too long not to know how to do this 'just lost a mom thing.' So, I'm here, there's ice cream and pizzas in the fridge, movies in the living room, tissues by the bed, and me, right beside you until you kick me out." Brooke frowned. "Though being in Karen's room is a little like being in your parents room when they're not home. But, whatever you need, wherever you need, for as long as you need it. Well, as long as you need it or the day we fly to California, whichever comes first."

"Have I told you how awesome you are at being my best friend?" Peyton said, pursing her lips in an effort to stop the tears.

"You can always tell me again, right after you explain why exactly we are in Karen's bed instead of Lucas'." Brooke said, recognizing Peyton's attempt to stop crying.

Peyton laughed. "Simple really. The baby's crib is in here, and the monitors need batteries. So I've been sleeping in here with her so I can hear her if she cries."

Brooke looked at the crib, then back at the bed. "Good point." She glanced down at the baby, and noticing that she had fallen back asleep, picked her up and placed her back into the crib.

She made her way back to the bed and pulled Peyton into her arms. "Now, since Lucas is gone, the baby is asleep, and I have on machine washable clothes, you have no excuse not to let out all you've been bottling up inside, Peyton Sawyer."

Peyton wrapped her arms tightly around Brooke, tucked her face into a spot that both of them felt was known too well, and did just as she was told.

----LP-----

Everyone needs a friend like B Davis and I love this version of her. I was lucky enough to have more than one.