'To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye'
-Run - Snow Patrol
This is the day you've been dreading for so so long, and now it's finally here. And you wish it had never come.
(Don't you always?)
But it does, every single time it does.
As she stands in front of you, staring down at her feet, a single strand of red hair fallen over her face, you can't help but move it, to tuck it behind her ear, to touch her face, for one last time.
And when she utters that one word, "Don't", it tears you apart inside, because you know it's for the best, because she's already told you that, and you know she's right, because she's always right.
In everything you've been through, she's was the one who brought alive that tiny flicker of hope inside of you, she's the one who had always been the one who seemed right. Until now. You realise that she isn't the one who was right, she's just like all the others, so wrong.
She looks up at you, and you can tell she's about to close the door, about to turn away from you for one last time. And this time she won't come back. Those big blue eyes, always filled with such innocence, you look into them just like you did the first time. And they scare you. Filled with so much emotion, and none of it's for you, because she's found someone else.
"It's for the best, you know that, right?" you nod in return, to show you've understood. You haven't though, because you never do.
You know you can't let her leave you, let her be the one to finish things. You turn away for the last time, before she has a chance to say her goodbye and close the door. This way, you'll be leaving her and not the other way round. She'll be left watching you, longing for you to come back. (At least that's what you tell yourself, because in reality she's the one that left you.)
You run home, everything around you blurring into one. The road, the shops, the houses, the trees, the people and the tears. You shove past your brother on the way out the house to see his girlfriend.
"Hey, dude, are you okay?" but you ignore him and he shrugs his shoulders and carries on his way. You slam the bedroom door and collapse in tears, because that's really the only way you know to cope with the situation.
You calm yourself down and breath deeply. Pull yourself together, you think.
You straighten yourself up and stand in front of that mirror to look at yourself. You wonder, what could you have done wrong this time, what do you do wrong every time. You stare at yourself head to toe. What is there you haven't got? What is it that your brother has that you don't?
Because after all, you're supposed to be identical.
Really, you know what it is. He lights up a room, becomes the centre of attention. He makes himself known, whilst you sit in the corner, keeping quiet.
He's mischievous, playful, fun to be around, and that massive grin spread on his face. He's always flirting with the girls. No matter how faithful you are and no matter how unfaithful he is, they all choose him over you.
Because no matter how hard you try, you'll never be completely identical.