I was contemplating all day whether to upload this or not. It was stuck in my head all day. It's a lot different to how I usually write, but I don't know if it's better or worse. I hope you enjoy. Just so you know, I'm a big fan over both John and Melina and the negative statements in this story where for the purpose of the story and not my opinion. As for Michelle McCool as well. Please review, it really does influence updates etc and it's really helpful.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the character in this fic, WWE owns them all unfortunately. Oh yes and they also own themselves! :)
When It All Comes Crashing Down.
As I sat there at the end of his bed, the guilt began to eat me alive. Why I had done it? I honestly didn't know. This wasn't the first time I did it and it probably wouldn't be the last. I despised every living inch of him yet I couldn't resist him. What was it about him that kept drawing me in? Sure he had the good looks, but I'm not that conceited, I could've turned him down easily. He certainly didn't have a great personality. He was self-centered, heartless, shallow and pathetic. Everything I hated about a human being. Yet for the past 5 months, I've been cheating on my wonderful boyfriend with… that. I looked at him, even the sight of him made me want to vomit. I wanted to turn him down with every inch of will I possessed, but it seemed impossible. I sighed and closed my eyes. I could only imagine the look of heartbreak on Mark's face if he ever found out. He have been able to get over the fact that I've been cheating on him, but if he knew that is was with him, he'd dump my sorry little ass on the spot, I guarantee it. Neither of us could stand him nor could half the locker room. I looked behind me to see he was slowly waking up. I stood up and went over to my clothes, lying in a pile. As I began to put on my clothes, I noticed him smirking at me.
"What?" I asked bitterly. I wasn't in the mood for his conceited, smartass comments.
"Nothing, just admiring the view." He chuckled at himself.
God I couldn't stand him. He was everything I could even hate rolled into one. He knew I couldn't stand the sight of him, but he also knew I couldn't resist him. That's probably why he continues to push me, just to see how far I'll go. He loves seeing me guilty and feeling worthless. It's all an amusement game for him. I sighed as I walked over to the nightstand picking up my phone, keys and sunglasses. I walked into the bathroom and looked at my reflection. My hair was a mess, my make-up had mostly come off and my clothes are wrinkly but worst of all? My pathetic, worthless, cheating face. I couldn't stand looking at it anymore. I ran my fingers through my tangled hair and smoothed out my clothes as best as I could. I walked out to John who was admiring his abs in a full-body mirror he had in his hotel room.
I rolled my eyes. This really was nothing new. "I'm going." I announced.
He turned and raised his brow. "Already, but it's only 9 o'clock." He said making his way over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist.
I pushed him off. "Yes I realize that and I already can't wait to get away with you." I said, looking at him with disgust. Almost like how I look at myself every day now.
"You weren't saying that last night." He smirked.
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He always wins these sorts of arguments. I shook my head and made my way towards the door. "I'm out of here, goodbye John." I said as I opened the door knob and walked out the room.
I took in a deep breath as I made my way down to the hotel lobby. I wasn't in the mood to make up excuses to Mark. How he hadn't found out by now was beyond me. John brags about it to his mates all the time, it must have gotten round the locker room by now. I always get deathly stares from Melina, John's ex. I also get bitchy comments from her and her friends all the time. I just shrug it off; I'm never in the mood for Melina. Once upon a time I'd be sending those bitchy comments right back, but now? I really couldn't give a fuck. She can say, think and do what she wants. I pushed my sunglasses onto my face as I made my way to the beach a few blocks away. The cool morning air against my skin was refreshing; it helps get my mind off what happened last night with him. I couldn't even say his name anymore; it made me sick to my stomach.
Once I made it out on the beach, I took off my shoes and let the small grains of sand cover my feet. I made my way to a small hill near the shore. I sat down and gazed out to the ocean. It really was a breathtaking sight. I took a deep breath in, inhaling the fresh, Florida air. I cracked a small smile.
"Michelle?" I heard someone question softly.
I turned to Maria, an old friend. I flashed her a small smile, which she returned. She sat down next to me. I knew she could sense something was wrong. She always was able to sense when someone wasn't feeling right. I had to admit, I missed her presence.
"Hi Maria." I breathed.
"Michelle, are you alright?"
"I'm fine." I lied, flashing her a fake smile. I was anything but fucking fine. I was a wreak, anyone could see that. Although no one seemed to give a shit, so why would I?
"You don't look fine. What's happening with you lately?"
I shrugged. "You tell me."
"Michelle, you know you can tell me everything. I don't care if we haven't spoken for a while, once a friend, always a friend." She shot me a concerned smile. Maria was like a sister to me. At one point, I even thought she could read my mind.
So I opened up to her. Told her everything about John, Mark, everything. She just nodded and listened to me. She didn't even seem to judge me. Not like half the locker room. Not to mention my counselor. Even he looked at me with disgust. But Maria, she was always different. She could get along with anyone and everyone.
"Michelle…"
"I know, I'm pathetic, a slut, I'm a horrible person." I stated cutting her off.
"No Michelle. You're just confused. You need to speak to Mark and end… whatever's going on with you and John." She explained.
She was right, I knew she was right. I just didn't know how to tell Mark, I didn't want to tell Mark. A part of me didn't want to end things with John either. Although that part was very, very tiny. I knew it was the right thing to do to end things with John, maybe Mark as well. I mean, maybe our relationship caused me to do this. I just don't know and more. Maria's right, I am confused.
I nodded. "I just don't know how to tell Mark."
"Just come clean, don't beat around the bush. Maybe you and Mark can survive this." She pulled me in for a hug. I smiled and nodded again.
"I want to survive this, I do. But I don't think we can. I just feel so disgusted in myself and I know Mark will as well." I admitted.
Maria pulled away from the hug and held onto my shoulder, staring me dead in the face.
"Michelle!" She exclaimed. "Don't put yourself down like that. You're better than that and you know. That's probably why you're having an affair with John. Mark loves you and you love Mark."
"Maria…" I began, shaking my head gently. "I don't think I do love Mark." I admitted.
There was a long silence. It was awkward, very awkward. I felt like running into the water and drowning, begging that my body would just lie in the water, lifeless. But a part of me knew that was the easy way out and I was going with that part. I may be everything I despise at the moment, but I'm still going to try and be the best person I can possibly be.
"Maybe that's the problem. Look Michelle, just go talk to Mark." Maria advised.
I stood up and sighed. "You're right, like always. I'm going to go speak to Mark." She gave me one last hug and I slowly made my way back to the hotel.
The walk was slow and careless. I just dragged my – what seemed to be already lifeless body to the hotel. I didn't even stop for cars, I just walked across the road. Angry drivers shouted things at me, but I ignored them. It was too early t get worked up. I needed to be strong – as strong as possible to face Mark. Once I made it to his door, I hesitated to knock. I felt like walking away or jumping out the nearest window. He must have heard me standing there, contemplating what to do next because he opened the door.
"Michelle, what are you doing here?" he asked with a happy smile.
"We need to talk."
I could see his smile fading even though my eyes were focused on the floor. Every human being knows that 'We need to talk' can never be good. I slowly made my way past him - my eyes still focused on the ground and dragged myself onto the end of the bed. A few moments later he sat down next to me. I closed my eyes and tried to hold back the tears, but they began streaming out.
"Mark. I've been having an affair with John." I managed to say. I didn't want to beat around the bush, because I know it would have made things worse. I could see him clenching his teeth and closing his fists. I knew he was going to explode within a few moments. I just sat there, shaking my head at my own selfless mistake. He got up and began pacing around. That was never good. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was holding the top of his head, cussing inaudibly.
"Mark I'm sor-"
"I don't want to hear it Michelle." He shouted. "Of all people, John?"
I stood up and made my way over to his, touching him arm, trying to calm him down, but he just pulled I away.
"I'm sorry Mark, I really am."
"How long?"
"5 months." I blurted out and that's when the tears really began flowing out of my eyes.
"Get out!" He yelled. "I never want to see you're pathetic face again!" He yelled again, pointing to the door.
"Mark."
"Out!"
I closed my eyes and made my way to door. I dropped my head in shame. How could I have done such a horrible thing to such a wonderful person? I walked out the door and felt myself start to lose balance. I couldn't stand it any longer. I made my way a few meters from the room and collapsed on the floor. My face in my hands. Tears began streaming out of my eyes and down my checks. How could my life start crushing down so easily.
It was only a few minutes before Maria found me. She ran over to me and draped her arm over my shoulder. I had my back against the wall, my knees up to my face and face still in my hands.
"Michelle. It'll be alright, I promise." She reassured me as she continued to comfort me. How could I got such an amazing friend was beyond me. I certainly didn't deserve Maria, not with the hurt and pain I've caused. I can only hope that I never make such a stupid mistake again.
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Thanks guys and Happy Easter by the way. I certainly love Easter, I mean you get to pig out on chocolate all day :D what's not to love.
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