Tony sat in the back of the room with his laptop, glaring at the back of the couch in front of him. U.S. invited Russia over to watch cartoons again and to say that Tony did not approve was an understatement. It wasn't because Tony thought Russia wanted to hurt his bro. No, it was much, much worse. It was that those two might form some kind of… relationship. Tony shuddered at the thought. Who would have thought someone as violent as Russia would love Disney shows and 3D animated movies just like U.S. did? Tonight, they decided on a Darkwing Duck marathon as a nostalgic change of pace. Tony always sat at the back of the room during these visits to make sure the only thing they did was watch cartoons. Tony didn't care that the Cold War was over, Russia better watch his ass!

Unlike most of the time, Russia's smile looked genuine. "Thank you for inviting me over again. It is nice to get away from my busy work schedule and watch your cartoons. They made me pleasure smile."

U.S. nodded. "Yeah, they are awesome!"

"What a [censored] kiss-ass! Bro really needs to stop hanging with [censored] stupid countries," Tony mumbled to Ameriwhale next to him. Ameriwhale shushed him and went back to watching the show. Tony felt the urge to throw his Red Bull can at Russia's head but U.S. would ground him. Why won't U.S. understand that he was only looking out for him?

Russia quietly sat in his usual spot at the far right end of the couch because if he sat any closer to U.S., Tony would telepathically threaten him with a good old-fashioned probing. (His race didn't actually do that stereotypical probing stuff but Russia didn't need to know that.) Tony was annoyed that Russia always put up with the abuse instead of leaving, but he guessed Russia preferred it to dealing with Belarus. Every time Russia came over, she would stand right outside the house the entire time. Once U.S. tried to invite her in so she could watch too, but she just hissed at him.

After a while, U.S. stood up and stretched. "Pause it. I'll be right back." As Russia fumbled around trying to find the right remote, U.S. headed for the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked.

U.S. grabbed a big bowl from the cabinet. "Just making popcorn for everyone, dude."

Tony sprang to his feet and rushed into the kitchen. "Dude, don't worry about it. I'll make it!"

"Huh? You sure? But I'm…"

Tony grabbed the bowl out his hand. "No problem! How about I get some drinks or something?"

Tony gave a quick glance at Russia. "Non-alcoholic."

"Are you up to something?"

Tony shook his head. "No, just helpin' out."

"The last time you said that Britain's coffee somehow ended up with…"

"I [censored] swear I am not up to something, bro."

U.S. shrugged. "OK, whatever."

Tony grumbled as he set up the popcorn maker. What was U.S. thinking? One bowl? One [censored] bowl? He is NOT sharing a [censored] bowl with that [censored]! They might touch hands! The horror! There would be no touching on Tony's watch! He'd rather have U.S. share popcorn with that [censored] limey than… Wait, no. Tony thought about it for a moment and concluded that if he had a choice between U.S. sharing popcorn with either Russia or Britain, he would just zap them both with a laser gun because he hated them equally. Those [censored] don't deserve any U.S.'s attention.

U.S. watched Tony divide up the popcorn into four smaller bowls. Tony was irked because he really wasn't up to something like that one time Britain was over. Tony didn't want another three-hour lecture on how to act when guests were over. He just wanted to make sure Russia ended up with the bowl with the most unpopped kernels, that's all. Russia's not getting the good stuff, that's for sure.

"Here," Tony said as he shoved the bowl into Russia's hand.

Russia looked at the bowl questionably. "Oh… Thank you."

"What? You think I poisoned it? That's more of your thing, Liverfailure Drunkovich."

"Tony!" U.S. crossed his arms and glared.

"Sorry."

Tony wasn't sorry. He went back to his seat next to Ameriwhale and opened his laptop as they went back to watching episodes.

There was a loud knock at the door. Russia immediately darted off the couch and hid behind Ameriwhale. U.S. walked over and opened the door.

"Oh, hi! Would you like to come in now? "

Belarus huffed and looked down. "He… Hello. … May I… May I wa… Nevermind. I still hate you too much." She turned around and stormed back to her waiting spot on the sidewalk.

"OK! Just let me know if you change your mind or have to use the bathroom!" U.S. closed the door. "Dude, did you see that?"

Ameriwhale made a happy noise.

"Yeah, she said a full sentence to you without trying to stab you," Tony said while continuing to look down at his laptop. "She's warming up to you, bro. Soon you two might be able to hold a three minute conversation."

A bit later, as a change of pace, U.S. decided to listen to the Russian version of the theme song. "What was that? 'Ну-ка, от винта.' What? 'Let's get dangerous' is so much better! Your translation doesn't make any sense!" U.S. took another slip of his Coke.

"It is aviation slang." Russia grabbed another handful of popcorn.

"Whatever. At least it's better than France's trans…"

Crack! A loud snapping sound occurred before Russia jumped up and grabbed the side of his face. "Gah!"

"Crap! Was that a kernel?"

Russia gave a pained look.

"…Your tooth?"

Russia slowly nodded his head.

"Ouch, dude."

"Oh, no," Tony said in a bored, monotone voice. Tony didn't actually plan that but he'll take any opportunity. "I guess this means that we have to cut this marathon short now. It's so early in the evening and we haven't even gotten halfway through the first season. Man… What a shame. So… Get out."

"Oh wait!" U.S. whipped out his phone. "This is the perfect time to show off alien tech! I'll just call Tony's boss and have him stop by with the ship…"

"Wait…" Tony stammered. "Don't bother my boss!"

"No worries, dude," U.S. said coolly. "Your boss and I are tight. He said I can call him up whenever I want. Alien tech is awesome! Tony's stuff is way more advanced and painless than anything on this planet. This will be a piece a cake to fix this and we can get back to the show in no time."

"Is it?" Russia mumbled.

Tony quickly turned to Russia and wondering why the [censored] he wasn't objecting to this. Russia stared out the window with a horrified expression. Oh, that's right. She was still standing out there, wasn't she? Tony thought about it and came to the conclusion that if he was in Russia's position, he would choose the aliens too.

Just as U.S. said, the mother ship came almost instantly and beamed everyone on board. The ship's crew ran over and crowded around U.S. to welcome him and ask where the [censored] he's been. Tony impatiently tapped his foot because he knew the longer they stayed the more likely his boss would give him actual work to do. He had no time for real work while Japan gave him several more video games to play.

After the crowd dispersed, U.S. decided to get his geek on and rave about all the ship's inventions and how cool it was. Russia just walked nervously behind him. Most visitors behaved like that their first time on the ship except for U.S. He acted like a little kid in a toy store and wanted to know how everything worked. The crew wasn't allowed to give humans any of their technology but no one said anything about not letting humans try it out and that is what U.S. did. He seemed to have an instant understanding of how they worked which impressed Tony's boss so much. At this point, U.S. could probably run the ship better than Tony could. What else would you expect from a guy who had a signed Bill Gates photo in his room?

"Hey, Tony!"

Tony stopped and hesitated to turn around. He [censored] hated his coworker Larry so, so much. Tony took a deep breath. "Larry."

"What are you doing here? Don't you have any important video games to be playing right now?" Larry laughed.

"[Censored] you, Larry." Tony looked over his shoulder and watched U.S. and Russia turned the corner.

Larry pointed. "Why are they hanging out? I thought they fought all the time."

Tony groaned. "Don't get me [censored] started. It turns out that guy likes the [censored] kiddy cartoons U.S. makes so that [censored] gets invited over a lot to watch them. I still don't trust him and I have to watch him constantly. The worst thing is I can't figure out how to [censored] get rid of him."

"Did you try an 'anal probe' threat?"

"Yeah," Tony sighed. "But I guess he would prefer that to the hellbeast that stands outside waiting for him to come out. U.S. won't let me physically throw guests out of the house either. It's [censored] frustrating! I'm only trying to protect my bro against these [censored]! He might put up a strong front but he gets hurt easily. You haven't been there those nights when he would run crying to his brother because of the stress."

Suddenly, they heard a commotion coming from around the corner. Russia was desperately trying to break away from U.S.'s grip. "WHAT WAS THAT CRAZY THING?"

"Dude, it only looks like a metallic version of that facehugger from the Alien movie!" U.S. said as he dragged Russia back down the hallway. "I tried it before and believe me you won't even remember anything! Tony told me that the best indicator that an alien abduction story is fake is when the person remembers. You'll never want to go back to dentists ever again after this. This is way superior to anything humans can do! I wish they would let me buy their technology but they said something like…"

Tony and Larry listened until U.S. was too far away to hear. Larry then turned to Tony. "You're right: Your 'fragile flower' really needs your protection from that guy."

Tony couldn't remember the last time he felt so enraged. "OK, so that [censored] has been slipping ever since he [censored] up the Cold War but he still can't be trusted! I wish U.S. would realize that he should stop hanging out with [censored] like him. I'm not talking about Japan or What's-His-Face because they're his bros. No, I mean he should start settling down with a nice country and stop going out with [censored] countries that piss him the [censored] off all the time."

"Like who?"

"Poland, for starters. They get along so well and have a history together that goes far back. Poland loves video games, Chicago, and hating communism. The CIA even calls him the '51st State'. That's soul mate material right there! There are plenty more reasons!"

Larry snorted. "Is it the fact that if Poland comes over a lot means that Lithuania will come over a lot one of those reasons?"

Tony blushed. "No…"

"Oh, give it up! You brought Lithuania up here before and we all saw how you acted around him. All professional and polite! You were just the little gentleman, weren't you?"

"Larry, go [censored] yourself!"

Larry roared with laughter.

"What's so funny?" U.S. asked.

Tony cringed. He didn't hear U.S. and Russia come up behind him during Larry's obnoxious laughter.

Larry composed himself. "Well, you see…"

Tony kicked him in the shin. "He told an alien racist joke. You wouldn't get it."

"Oh. Well, we're done." U.S. glanced over to Russia. "I told you it was no big deal."

Russia thought for a moment. "It was how you said, but I still think they should really work on their creepy designs."

U.S. nodded. "But they're great inspirations for my movies. Remember that tank filled with the green stuff? That's…"

Tony groaned. "Can we just [censored] go now?"

Larry chuckled. "I wonder why."

Tony kicked him again.

Hours passed back at the house and Tony threw his third Red Bull can to the floor. It was 4 AM and U.S. and Ameriwhale were already asleep. Russia was still wide awake but that was probably because he had such an eventful day.

Tony was still fuming over what Larry said. How dare that [censored] Larry think that he would set U.S. up with Poland just to get Lithuania! Sure it would be nice for Liet to visit more but everything he said about Poland was true. Those two were an item during the Cold War!

"I need another [censored] Red Bull." Tony yawned as he sat up. He looked towards the couch and noticed Russia bending over where U.S. was sleeping. "What the [censored] are you doing?" Tony snarled as he jumped onto the back of the couch.

"I am trying to find the remote!" Russia snapped back.

"Oh because the remote just happened to magically end up in his blanket, you lying [censored]!"

He glared at Tony. "I am tired by your threats! You always act like I am up to something!"

Tony feigned shock. "You? Noooo…"

Russia growled. "You listen! I am not up to anything! It's true that we might disagree on things. Just because our governments still do not get along does not mean I wish to bash U.S. on the head with my pipe at every available opportunity! No matter how much you want us to hate each other, we really do not." Russia pointed to the screen. "This show is one of the first shows U.S. showed to me after the Iron Curtain fell. We also have a space station together! I even have the Disney channel in my country. I use Twitter and Livejournal! Does that sound like two countries that want each other dead?" Russia stopped for a moment and gave Tony a malicious grin. "It pleases me how much it annoys you that I like Levi's jeans, 3D movies, and video games! Not just Tetris but also games like Civilization and Team Fortress 2. We are not so different and that angers you, does it not? I am right, da?"

"Russia…" Tony interrupted. He sighed and leaned in closer. "Shut the [censored] up." Tony jumped off the couch and strolled towards the kitchen.

Tony grabbed two Red Bulls from the fridge because he knew it would be a long night. Russia went into a rage and started swearing at him in Russian. U.S. abruptly awoke and fell off the couch. Tony shrugged as he opened one of the cans at the kitchen table. He took a sip and watched as U.S. was trying to grab Russia's pipe away. Russia may be right but that didn't mean Tony had to be nice to him. Even if U.S. moved on, Tony would never let go of that grudge. Not unless Lithuania asked him to. Tony took another sip. He knew as soon as U.S. learned what had happened, he was in big trouble… but it was [censored] worth it.