I must be made of cellophane. He doesn't seem to notice me anymore. All he pays attention to is that girl that he's known. His high school sweetheart. If I were to do the same, bring another man into our home and sleep with him in our bed then he would raise hell on my head and I would never know a good nights sleep as long as he and his kin was alive. I used to wondered if I could do the same, but that thought flew away as suddenly as our marriage. She looked at me with that look in her eye as I rocked my son to sleep.

She flicked her long brown hair from her face and grinned at me. She had enough nerve to grin in my face. She slept with my old man and now she was trying to play best friends with me. She extended her arm toward Abel and asked. "Do you need any help?" I knew she was faking, she was trying to be nice to me. She saved him and was trying to screw me over.

The throbbing pain in my head and the lack of sleep was making me weak. I pushed my son closer to my chest and said with a brief fake smile. "No."

"Oh." she replied, trying once again to touch Abel's cheek and I moved sharply pretending to look for something in his crib but then turned back to her. In my own way I think she got the message. She put her once extended hand back into her other one and opened her mouth but hesitated. She nodded her head and walked out.

Bitch.

I was very disappointed with myself. I wanted Jax to choose me. What was so wrong with me that I had to be choosen over that twig with earings. Besides the mistakes that I made I thought he would forgive me for it and we could raise our son like a family. When I saw him, I instantly believed in love at first sight. All the movies from my childhood and even the ones as I came to adulthood about a princess finding her prince came into my belief. We were best friends. More to him than myself. I saw him as more than just a thug from a small town I saw him as my prince. My knight in shining armor. The man that would make me happy.

He just saw me as the girl who played Tenkken 2 with. I was the one he taught the cheat to. The cheat where you hold down select and the characters heads got bigger. We laughed harder than I could ever remember. For the months we dated I thought we were going to be as tight as Gemma and Clay. We rode on his bike out to the farthest points of Charming, stayed up late talking and pigging out on junk food. We didn't care. I felt like a child again with a best friend, the love of my life.

I heard him come out of the bedroom finally. As if her name was called Tara rushed to greet him. I rolled my eyes and placed Abel back into his crib. I walked out of his room and hesitated as I saw his back. The reaper stared back at me and for a second I thought it was pointing to me. Accusing me of some crime I didn't commit. I stared back at it but it wouldn't budge. I looked away from it and quickly followed behind him. I reached out to touch him on the shoulder but I hesitated. Would he see me? Would he feel me? Would he even care?

I'm cellophane to him. He could look through me and walk past me and never know that I was there only inches away from him. Until I finally gained the courage to just reach out to him. My hand that almost touched his warm flesh was hovering above him. I wonderedwhat would be his reaction? Would he greet me with that smile or would he just shoo me away like a speck of dust landing on him. I don't want to anger him, but I have to see those baby blues I fell in love with. Finally he did turn around and look down at me. I took back my hand and held it close to my chest.

To my surprise he smiled at me and I smiled back. "Um, hey." I managed to say after awhile.

"Hey."

We stood there in silence, looking for something to say. I shuffled through my mind to come up with something I could tell him about. Anything at all would've been great, but nothing would came to mind.

"So how did you sleep?" I asked. Another stupid question, from yours truly.

"Eh, alright." he said, pushing back his blond hair.

"That's good."

Another dead end.

Another few seconds of awkward silence went by. He scratched at the stubble growing on his chin. At least he was noticing me.

"You hungry?" I asked.

"Yeah. Let me get a shower first."

"Okay." I said eagerly, rushing off to the kitchen to make him something. I wasn't much of a cook or a cleaner. In fact I think I wasn't much of anything. Not much of a wife and not much of a mother. When I left home I spent most of nights eating spaghetti for dinner. It was fast, easy and cheap. A ton of pasta and a shitload of sauce, with some seasonings can last for a week maybe even two, but those days are gone. I looked through the fridge for something for breakfast. I found some bacon, and pancake mix.

Perfect.

With luck I won't burn the pancakes.

To my surprise I was able to make breakfast without so much as ruining the pancakes or the bacon. Just as I was about to serve up breakfast who walks in? But Ms. Doctor Wench herself.

"It smells good in here." she said.

"Uh huh." I replied.

She reached out to grab a strip of bacon but I pulled the pan away, pretending like it was a mistake. I flashed a smile at her and she got the message. She walked away like a brat.

I fixed Jax's plate and sat in waiting for him to arrive. I heard him walk around the house, and walked into the kitchen. He was shirtless and wearing sweats. Just how I liked him. I pointed to his plate.

"Tell me how it is."

He barely looked at me just at the plate of food at his seat. Shit, I'm losing him again. I was watching him eat and smiling like a fucking idiot. He didn't even look up. Maybe that was good so he didn't have to see with a goofy grin. I had to bring something to his attention.

"Good?" I asked.

"Hmm?" he asked finally looking up at me.

"Is it good?" I asked.

"Yeah." He went back to eating.

I wanted to tell him I didn't mean for everything to go to hell. I wanted us to be a family again for Abel's sake. He needed to know his mother and father. Not that swindler who was going to raise my son. We could grow to love each other it's possible. I just wanted things to be better for us like they used to be, but I couldn't do it alone. I grew up alone in the world I didn't want Abel to feel that hurt.

"Jax?" I asked.

'Say you're sorry... c'mon say it.'

He looked up again, then the arms of another woman wrapped around his broad shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. Her brown hair pressed against his back. The little girl that everyone ignored and discarded came back and took over the grown version of her.. My back curled and I looked down into my lap.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Nothing."

I feel like cellophane.

Transparent.

Invisible.

Inconsequential.

'Things will never be the same will they?'

And in the back of my mind I heard a voice say.

'No.'

I found this one shot and I decided to post it. More out of boredom. Tell me what you think.