AN: Just my entry for 'A Dying Man's Thoughts' contest on Muse Bunny. I know it might suck...but I was more than a little bored. : )
Hello, Death. Been waiting for me? Yeah...I know.
Sirius Black had just gotten hit with Avada Kedavra. Was he surprised? Of course not. Yes, he had lived through Azkaban for twelve years. Yes, he had been on the run as a sickly dog for a few months. He had died in a fight for Harry though; and that's ultimately what he wanted.
Funny...I was the one always torturing Bellatrix...and she's the one who killed me...
The slow motion that everyone says happens when you're about to die is true. Sirius could see half of the people in the room's faces. He wished he couldn't. Every face was either filled with joy, as a Death Eater, or misery.
The joy he could live with; he had been expecting that. But misery? Sirius had never done anything to help anybody. He had just been locked up in Azkaban for twelve years! He had never got to really be a godfather to Harry, a brother to Remus...friends to Hermione and Ron.
You win, Bella. Congratulations. You're going to celebrate now, right? Torture Harry? Kill him? I wouldn't be surprised. He's strong though, Bella. Just like his father. He'll put up a fight. He won't go down easy. He might win his fight...he might not. But it won't be easy...for either of you.
Remus...wish I could be as strong as you. Wish I would've had to put up with what you did. Probably would've taught me something. Would've taught me a lot... I'm sorry I went after Peter that day, Remus. I'm so sorry. I know I killed your life for the next few years after that...you had no one there for you when you really needed soemone. James...he would've helped you. You would've helped him. Thank you for believing in me Remus...when I came back.
The one feeling that Sirius could make out on Remus' face was plain and clear: Why?
I don't know, Remus. I really don't know. I've tried to do the best I could in my life...I guess it wasn't enough. If karma exists, which I'm pretty sure it does, I think I royally messed up somewhere. I guess all the Marauder pranks added up. Maybe. I'm not sure...
Sirius could feel himself slipping further through the veil that had stood in the middle of the Department of Mysteries room. He just knew, even though he was technically dead, that once he slipped through it, he would never come back. Or, at least his body wouldn't anyway.
Sirius saw Harry's face. It was soaked in silent tears, rage shining in his eyes. It looked like most every non-Death Eater in the room. No-one was paying attention to their battles; no-one was paying attention to any of the Death Eaters, who were progressively getting away. He wished he could've talked to James while Harry was growing up. But...that would mean Harry wasn't the 'Chosen One.' James' death ahd to happen...
I know I was along with switching the Secret-Keeper James; I just wish...wish I had thought it out entirely. I mean, I'm not even surprised that Peter turned out to be what he did. Ok, maybe a little. He was so...pathetic, even, now that I think about it; back in the Marauder days. I just would've never thought that Peter would turn out to be Voldemort's...anything! Even the servant he sometimes is...
I'm sorry that this had to happen, Harry. I'm sorry I have to go now. Even though you won't admit it...you need somebody. Never, never abandon Hermione and Ron. I don't know what Dumbledore has planned for you in the coming years...but those two have to help you. You can't do 'it' alone.
I wish I could talk to you one last time Harry. Even just once. Tell you everything about your father...your mother, just everything that I never was able to. Everything was always so serious between...everybody because of Voldemort. I was always talking about the Order...or our plans for an army, I never got to talk to you just as a godfather. I'm sorry...I wish I could have.
Mischief Managed.