AN: Contains very minor spoilers for/takes place during Episode 2x15, "Sexy". Burt Hummel gives his son Kurt the sex talk.

"But really, Dad, you don't have to worry about me going out and doing all this stuff tonight," Kurt said, leaning against the counter. "I'm not like Puckerman, or Santana, or Finn. I don't want to do it just to do it.".

Burt nodded, a glimmer of pride shining through his obvious discomfort.

"I want it to be with the person I really care about. And right now, that person is Blaine." Kurt sighed and stared at the sex ed pamphlets his father had brought home. "But I'm stuck in the 'friend zone' indefinitely, so relax. I'm not going to lose my virginity any time soon."

"I'm… I'm glad, son," Burt said, patting his son on the shoulder. Then, as he played their conversation back in his head, he turned.

"What did you say about Finn?"

"What did who say about me?" Finn asked, coming down the stairs into the kitchen.

Kurt considered withdrawing his statement, but decided to continue with the 'complete honesty' rule his father had implemented at the beginning of this conversation.

"Oh, I told him that you're a slut," he said nonchalantly.

"Wh-what?" Finn spluttered, as Burt gave his stepson a stern disapproving glare. "That's not true at all! I've only had sex once!"

Kurt looked up, confused.

"Wait. So you didn't have sex with Santana? Wasn't that why you and Rachel broke up?"

Finn rolled his eyes. "No. She and I had sex months before Rachel and I started dating. We broke up because Rachel got mad about it and made out with Puck."

"Still, you've had sex with two women," Burt said, still glaring.

"No, just Santana."

The two Hummels looked at each other for a moment, then back to Finn. Both of them struggled to find the right words to say. It was Kurt who spoke up first.

"What about Quinn?"

Finn shrugged. "We never had sex."

Burt's jaw dropped. He took a step towards his stepson, dumbfounded.

"How did she convince you that you were the father of her baby if you two never had sex?" he asked, speaking slowly.

"Well, we were making out in the hot tub and –"

Kurt's abrupt laugh cut him off. Finn looked from his stepbrother, tearing up from laughter, to Burt, who looked utterly shocked. "What?" he asked.

Wiping away a stray tear, Kurt walked over and patted his father on the shoulder.

"Looks like I'm not the one you should be having this conversation with," he said before grabbing the pamphlets and walking out the door.