I can't tell you if it's better or worse only seeing him for a few days each week. I keep how I feel locked inside in fear of losing his friendship but it appears that I have to make a decision now. Tell him how I feel and hope he stays or keep to myself and watch him leave. I suppose I should just start my story at the beginning shouldn't I? Well the beginning seems so far away now, feels like forever since we met, honestly I can't remember a time before he was here.
Well it all started 2 years ago, I know it doesn't seem like forever but forever can be days when you find someone you care about. Anyways it's been 2 years since I meet him. He had just moved here and had come into the bar I own with my brother and asked for a job. My brother must have liked him too because before I knew it this stranger was now working along side us. We only knew him as L, he kept he personal life quite the mystery. He was quite the bartender though you could literally ask for any drink and if we had the right ingredients he'd make it or he'd switch out something for a similar taste. Truly amazing for a self named drifter.
I can't say when I first felt feelings for him but I can tell you that I've wanted him for as long as I can remember. As time went on we got to know each other better. We became friends and would even hang out after or even before work. There were nights we'd stay over each other's houses which probably didn't help my feelings any. I couldn't help myself from falling in love with this man even though I knew he would someday leave I couldn't help from selfishly wanting him to stay.
It was maybe a year after we met that we actually got to drink at the bar on St. Patrick's day. I don't really remember much of anything from that night. Mix drink after mix drink and beer after beer did not do either of us any good. We continued our partying at my place I think it had to have been because I lived within walking distance. I vaguely remember him making me and himself drinks. I don't know what we talked about or what we did but I do know that when I woke up I was wearing his T-shirt and my underwear but he was no where to be seen. He had left a note for me though.
I'm sorry I had to leave so early I didn't want to wake you. I had promised to go in and clean up the bar.
I made you a coffee it's in the fridge and should be cold by the time you wake.
I don't really remember last night but I'm sure we had a good time!
L.
Ps keep the shirt. Looks better on you than it ever did on me!
I remeber smiling and pulling the shirt to my nose. It still smells like him even all this time later I wear it to bed a lot and when I'm feeling down for some reason it makes me feel better. It was a few days later when I saw him next and I was cut down when he told me he was going to be leaving and for months it was the same thing over and over. Then he started to become rather mean to me and my brother. It reminded me of my childhood rival. I chalked it all up to him being restless staying in one place for so long but it didn't seem like it could be. His attitude wasn't the only thing to change, he started drinking more often and then he stopped coming over almost stopped talking to me all together. Till one day he came in and said he was really getting ready to leave.
Thats where I am now stuck between wanting him to stay and waiting for him to leave. I'm going to tell him, I need to tell him.
"Hey" I'm standing in his door way looking at my feet.
He let's me in and I close the door behind me. I can feel my body shaking as I go over what I need to say in my head. When I look up I can see boxes all labeled and half packed. It's not just talk he really is leaving here, me. He steps into my sight and my words are gone. I'm stuck starring at the man I've grown to love, the man who plans to leave, and the man I've been scared to tell how I feel.
"Are you alright?" He asks me. I can hear and see the concern from him.
I have to remind myself why I'm there, I need to tell him how I feel. I can't find my words but I can find my actions. I step forward to him and kiss him. I expect to be pushed away but I'm not, I'm pulled closer. Suddenly this kiss that I initiated is no longer in my control, it's now under his control. I can feel the passion as he deepens the kiss and moves his hands to the hem of my shirt. Passion being replaced by hunger in an instant. The shirt I'm wearing comes off exposing my bare chest, in return I take off his. His lips leave mine and make a trial down my jaw line to my neck. He leads me to the couch, he lays me down never removing himself from my body.
I feel his breath in my ear as he whispers "What took you so long?" and I then feel his lips on skin suddenly I can hardly breathe already but then he reaches for my breast. His big strong hands ever so gently kneed at my soft breast and his fingers rub at my nipple. I can't control myself my body is acting on its own. I begin to let out soft moans and I feel my hips start to buck at his. I want him, all of him, but he's in control now and right now he wants to tease me. He trails from my neck to my breast and to my nipple. I feel his warm mouth take in my nipple and then I get a shock! He bite down on it, not hard but just enough to send shock waves through my body. I reach to his pants waist and tug what I can get my hands on to tell him I want it. He sits up and smirks at me. I suddenly feel really embarrassed about my body.
I sit up and reach out to undo his pants and get pushed back down. He tells me no and to relax not to be too eager. He pulls off my pants and spreads my legs. I close my eyes in embarrassment, I've never felt so exposed and I'm not even a virgin. I feel his tongue lick at my clit and I can't help myself I gasp at the sudden rush, and then I feel him put a finger inside me. His finger and tongue work together in near perfect harmony. I try to hold back but my moans and gasps won't stop. I feel myself getting close to the edge of ecstasy and I know he can feel it too. His pace quickens and I feel myself starting to fall from that edge. I arch my back as I feel myself cumming.
He stops and lets me catch my breath. He chuckles and starts to undo his jeans. I'm breathless again at the sight of him. He's massive! He asks if I'd like a taste and without hesitation I get up on all fours and take him in my mouth. He really is huge and hard as a rock, I want him inside me more than anything and he can tell. He tells me to come up to him so I do. He kisses me with more hunger than before and I feel him lining up with my opening. I don't have time to reach before he thrusts himself inside of me filling every inch. I never knew you could cum from incursion but I did. I'm weak from my first orgasm but I find just enough energy to get it started. I start slowly riding his massive cock but I must not have been to his liking because he wraps his hands around my ass and stop me. I knew he was planing on fucking me harder and faster and that's exactly what he did. He trusted in and out of me fast and hard, my moans were more like screams at this point.
He stands up still inside me and carries me to the bedroom all while continuing to fuck me. He lays me down on the edge holding my legs out and standing in front of me. He's going slow again in and out but there's something more with every trust back inside me he goes as far as he can, I feel the head hit my cervix, and when he pulls out he keeps just the tip inside. He's teasing me! I beg him to stop and he calls me a silly girl for wanting such a thing. He tells me that if he goes fasted he could hurt me but I don't care at this point. He gets an evil yet sexy grin on his face and says "don't say I didn't warn you." and just like that the pause began to speed up. Before I knew it he was ramming his cock into my cervix. "More" is all I can get through my moans and he complies and gives me it harder. I'm at my edge again about to go over when he puts out. My climax dies and he tells me to turn over onto my stomach. I do as I'm told.
I'm expecting him to start fucking my pussy again but I was wrong. I wasn't expecting what he was planing to do. In one trust he tore into my asshole. I let out a loud scream but couldn't move away from him. I came harder than when he plunged into my pussy. He didn't give me time to adjust to him he just started fucking my ass as hard and as fast as he could. I couldn't stop cumming with almost every thrust! My edge is close again, I can feel my climax building and I know it's gonna be a big one. I let out a gasp of "I'm close" and with that he pulled out and trusted back into my pussy. He was trusting harder and faster than before. "Cum with me!" He grunted as he pumped in and out of me. I could feel my walls tighten around his cock as I edged closer to the end, I could feel him throbbing as he continued fucking me. I heard him grunting and moaning. It drove me right over the edge and I let go. I could feel him let go too, his cock throbbing inside me made one last thrust and that's when I felt the warmth of his seed filling me up.
When he pulled out he helped me up onto the bed and laid down next to me. He kissed my forehead and told me he was sorry and that he wouldn't leave until I was ready to let him go. I pulled myself close to him and told him I didn't think I'd be able to let him go not that easily. He took it as a welcomed challenge and I took it as a sign. But I was wrong a week later he came into the bar and told us he had to leave and that he couldn't stay in the small town anymore. He assured me he'd be back for me when I asked him to stay.
As he got to the door I yelled out to him "If you're going to leave me the least you could do is leave your name too!"
He stopped and looked back with a smile "Louise, you know my name you always have."
"L is not a name it's a..." my heart dropped. "L...Logan..."
He chuckles and walks out the door. When I run after him he's gone. "Logan, how could I be so stupid! He gave all the hints and I ignored them all." I go back in and pour myself a drink. "Gene!" I call to my brother "He's gone, probably for good too."
"Did you at least learn his name?"
"We always knew his name. He stole my ears when we were kids."
We closed the bar for the night one bartender can't keep up with our demand. Instead we sat at the empty bar and drank while looking for a new bartender.