A date. An actual, honest to gosh, date. With an actual, honest to gosh girl. He mused to himself as he sat on a blanket at 8:32 pm on Friday night. It would have been a dream come true if it wasn't for one stipulation. I can't believe that I'm actually on a date with a Kanker. Voluntarily... sort of.

Double D glanced at the girl laying on the blanket next to him smiling contentedly and staring up at the stars. Feeling a blush creep up his neck like a rash, Edd looked away again and considered how he got himself into this situation. That accursed sport that his lack of physical stamina or strength made all the more difficult for him to play.

The day before...

"What?" Double D stared at Marie dumbfounded. He had just come from football practice when Marie Kanker intercepted him before he could enter the locker room and dragged him away while Ed and Eddy were distracted.

Marie smirked and looked him up and down. "You heard me oven mitt. I trade places with you during football games and you go out on a date with me. Looks like to me you could use any reason to get out of playing in the game tomorrow."

Edd felt a bead of sweat roll down his back for once not attributed to being in such close proximity to a Kanker. He longed to take a shower to rid himself of the mixture salt and dirt accumulating all over his skin, but what was Marie was suggesting was so deranged, yet possibly intriguing that he didn't try to bolt...yet.

"B-but," He had stammered sifting his helmet from one hand to the other. "Y-your a... you know... a girl. Aren't you worried about getting hurt?"

"Aww, cutie pie!" Marie giggled and leaned closer to him. "You're so cute when you worry about me like that. But don't. I can handle myself."

Double D swallowed nervously and felt a cold sweat break across his forehead at this breach of his personal space. "J-j-ust one date, right? In secret? And no brute force?"

"Well," Marie leaned away from him and considered for a moment. "Yes to the last two...but this is gonna cost a date per game. My services don't come cheap ya know."

And he had agreed. He would have actually felt like an idiot not to take her offer. And even more astounding was that it had worked! While Kevin had given his so-called pre-game pep talk Marie had hidden in the boy's locker room (against Edd's wishes) wearing her own uniform and quickly switched placed with Edd before he stepped out onto the field. With the visor of her her helmet down, no one seemed able to tell the difference and Marie was quite frankly amazing. She was fast enough that she didn't really need to use her brute strength, but when she did it was incredible. And no one was ever the wiser.

"So why did you join the team in the first place?"

"Pardon?"

Double D blinked and forced his mind back to the present. Marie rolled onto her side and regarded him with that heavily shadowed eye of hers.

"Why did you join the football team? No offense, but it hurts me to watch you practice."

A chuckle burst out of him unexpectedly before he could tamper it down. "I... don't know really. I guess I thought it'd be something fun for my fellows and I be a part of. Besides, a sport would be a plus to my college application."

Marie laughed and moved so that her face was mere inches from his own. "Ooh. My boyfriend's soooo smart."

Their date had ended soon after before Edd had to suffer more than a few unwanted kisses that were still surprisingly gentle.

And so it went on for the majority of the football season. Double D only had to endure the brutal practice sessions that Kevin enforced while Marie almost effortlessly took his place at the actual games. While they never actually won any of their games (they were still heavily crippled with players like Eddy who couldn't care less and Plank who couldn't move at all) they no longer lost by such a large margin. It was an understatement to say that the kids were highly confused by his transformation on and off the field, but after a while they seemed to take it as just slightly outside of normal for him. And her sisters didn't seem to really notice or care that Marie was missing from their ritual hazing of the football team.

There was also something else. He hated to admit it, really hated to admit it, made his cheeks burn with embarrassment to even think about it, but the second half of their deal was becoming quite pleasant for him as well. It amazed him to think that the same girl who had stolen his first kiss in the most unpleasant way would turn out to be such amicable company. Their dates were always simple; moon light ham sandwiches, nature walks, and even one time he built up the nerve to ask her to his house for a movie. Yes, she still accosted him whenever her sisters attacked his friends, but they had to force themselves not to laugh as he had a tendency to over act his fear of her now that he was no longer, well... afraid or her.

"Seriously, oven mitt," She had laughed on one of their dates. "You're definitely gonna need acting lessons if we're gonna keep up this little charade of ours."

Edd rolled his eyes and without realizing it, passed an arm around Marie's shoulders as the movie started to play. "Humorous indeed. Well, we won't have pretend for much longer thank goodness. There's only about two more games left of the season."

He probably should have noticed the way her shoulders suddenly sagged that what he had said upset her though he didn't see any reason why she should be. Double D thought that he made it clear throughout all of their interactions both before and at the beginning of the deal that he had no romantic feelings towards her. However, he had to admit that while he may never consider her as his girlfriend, he looked forward to having her as a, dare he think it, friend.

But then, one day, their precarious and still developing relationship came to a screeching halt. Double D would never forget the sheer terror he felt when he saw the Lemon's quarter back tackle Marie so hard that her helmet went flying off of her head.

"MARIE!" Double D yelled louder than he thought possible and rushed out onto field.

Just before he reached her though Kevin was already by her side helping her sit up. By that time Lee and May had rushed onto the field to obliterate the quarter back that had the unfortunate luck to have tackled their sister, forcing the game to end.

"Marie?" Kevin stared at her dumbfounded. "You were the one taking Double Dweeb's place during the games?"

"Yeah?" Marie stood and rubbed her cheek where a bruise was starting to form. "What of it?"

"Nothing, it's just..." Kevin paused and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I just never knew a girl could play football like that. It was pretty awesome."

"Oh," Marie's cheeks tinted pink. "Um, thanks, I guess."

Edd felt his chest tighten watching them. He told himself that it was just delayed anxiety over their secret being discovered and if that meant that he still had to hold up his end of the deal.

"Well," he mused staying behind after everyone else had gone home. "She did take my place during the game as per the deal. And she did save me a rather, ugh, unpleasant and painful experience. It's only fair."

He spotted her coming out of the girl's locker room and waved his hand in greeting. She walked right past him without so much as a glance. He had to call out her name twice before she stopped and looked at him.

"Yeah Double D?"

"Um, hello, Marie." Double D said fully aware of the sudden formality between them. Usually she would all but tackle and drag him to their date, but instead they stood awkwardly apart.

Marie popped her gum and looked up at him. "Did you need something or what? I'm gonna be late for my date."

"D-date?" Double D's voice unintentionally rose an octave. "B-b-but, I thought that w-we were supposed to-"

"Yeah, well Kevin invited me over for an action flick at his place." Marie popped her gum again and walked away. "Later, Eddward."

Eddward. Not oven-mitt. Not cutie-pie. Not even muffin or lover boy. Definitely not boyfriend. She called him Eddward. No one called him Eddward except for his parents, but even they called him son as a term of endearment.

The next day he showed up to practice even though he could have guessed that his participation wouldn't be exactly necessary. He was right.

"Pfft! Why would I need you Double Dork, when I've got Kick-butt Marie?" Kevin smirked gesturing behind him.

Double D looked and sure enough Marie was in workout gear practicing with the rest of the team. Well, Ed and Eddy were steering clear of her, but Rolf seemed impressed with her tackling skills. It wasn't just his replacement on the football team that changed though. Even when Lee and May bombarded Eddy and Ed with unwanted affection, Edd would look around and see Marie and Kevin together laughing or elbowing each other playfully in the ribs. Every time Edd felt his face heat up and tried to force the thought out of his mind that he, he who used to dread that head of blue hair every time he saw it coming towards him, was getting jealous. He tried not to think about her laughter, or the way she would constantly give him that smirk, or the way he could feel his pulse hammer when he heard her call Kevin "Captain Cutie".

A few weeks later the Peach Creek Cobblers won their first game and Kevin threw a large party at his house to celebrate. As usual with Kevin, he focused most of the conversation on himself... mostly. About halfway through the party he seemed to remember that he wasn't the only member of the football team and wound his arm around none other than Marie. Since the beginning of the party that Eddy forced him to attend Double D had to endure the sight of Marie fawning over Kevin and completely ignoring him. He had tried tampering down these confusing emotions, but he was finding it harder and harder to contain himself.

And then it happened. The straw that broke the camel's back fell and the storm inside him finally broke.

"... and we couldn't have won without my amazing Marie here." Kevin grinned down at her. When he leaned down to kiss her...

"NOW HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE!" for the second time Double D yelled louder than he thought was possible for him.

The party went silent while everyone stared at him and he felt his face heat up in embarrassment, but it was too late to stop him now.

"What?" Marie sighed. "What could you possibly want now, Double D?"

"N-now see here," Double D swallowed nervously. "Marie Kanker is with me, was with me I mean. B-b-but still I don't appreciate-"

"Appreciate what?" Marie crossed her arms and stepped closer to him, making him sweat. "In case you haven't noticed football season's over which means our deal is over." She glanced over her shoulder at Kevin and winked at him. "My Captain Cutie doesn't need any deal to be with me."

"Y-yes, well," Double D swallowed and tried to gather his courage. "Y-you no l-longer n-need to make a deal with me either."

Behind him, he could hear Lee chuckle. "Sounds like someone's trying to ask you out Marie."

"I dunno Lee," Marie inspected her nails. "He wouldn't do that. There'd be nothing in it for him."

"B-but there is." He took a deep breath and felt relief fill his chest as he spoke his feelings out loud. "You. You're in it for me. I want you to be my girlfriend."

He faintly heard Eddy faint with a thump behind him and the rest of the kids focused their attention on him instead.

"Oh yeah?" Kevin smirked and wrapped an arm protectively around her shoulders. "What if she likes me now Double Dork?"

Marie laughed and elbowed Kevin away roughly. "In your dreams, Shovel-chin."

Double D sighed in relief as Marie wrapped her arms around his shoulders and covered his cheeks with kisses. The tightness in his chest disappeared even as his face heat up with embarrassment from the physical attention that was still somewhat unwanted.

"Um, excuse me, Marie?" He said gently pulling away from her.

"Yes, my delicious oven mitt?"

"Um, w-would you like to back to my house for my mother's chilled cucumber, asparagus dip and a movie?"

"Uh, pass on the dip, but yes to the movie."

They stepped out onto the porch and shaking only a little he offered his hand to her.

"Oh, hey, give me a sec?" Marie winked at him. "Let me tell my sisters that I plan on disappearing for a bit."

"C-certainly." He hesitated for a split second before quickly kissing her hand and then looking away, blushing fiercely.

Marie slipped back into the house and willed her heart to slow down before it exploded out of her chest. Never in a million years did she ever think that she would succeed in actually making Double D her willing boyfriend no strings attached. But there was just one more loose end that she needed to take care of.

She spotted Shovel-Chin over by the couch with that blonde bimbo who seemed to be working over time in trying to make sure Kevin noticed her. When she finally managed to caught his eyes she made a small gesture with her thumb and went into the kitchen.

"So," she said pouring herself some punch. "Didn't I tell you it would work?"

"Totally." Kevin said pouring himself a cup as well. "You should have seen Nazz's face when we kept spending all that time together. Now she can't leave me alone for a second."

"Told you so," Marie turned to smirk at him and handed him a crisp five dollar bill as part of their arrangement. "And thanks for keeping up with your part of the deal."

"No problem," Kevin slipped the bill under his hat and playfully punched her in the shoulder.

A/N- This was partially inspired by this piece of fanart /d1xhk88 and the lack of EddxKevinxMarie non slash love triangle on Enjoy!