LOTR on the Disc

By LongshotMike

Author's note: Even though the story remains, as of yet unfinished, feel free to review. Remember: Leave an O if you like it and an X if you don't. Thanx.

The Dark Lord had searched. However the object of his desire had somehow managed to elude him. And so his shadow grew, along with his fury. How had his ring come to the Disc? It wasn't fair. And quite honestly it didn't make a whole lot of sense. But nevertheless the Disc is exactly where his one ring happened to be.

The Dark Lord's eye fixed on a man. A… a sausage vendor?

It was half way between one and two o'clock in the morning when Ankh-Morpork's most unsuccessful sausage vendor, C.M.O.T. Dibbler could be seen hurrying up the street. He was carrying a large luggage, and apparently trying to look inconspicuous. Luckily for him this was Ankh-Morpork, and most of its inhabitants were also busy trying to look inconspicuous, so therefore he went unnoticed.

He stopped just as he came to the top of the street. Two men carrying heavy clubs were coming toward him. So he ducked into the shadows and waited. The two men turned down an alleyway. There was a series of muffled screams. Then the two men reappeared and retreated on down the street, looking relatively inconspicuous.

When he felt it was safe Dibbler cast off again, feeling inexorably pleased with himself. He had avoided their suspicions…

Dibbler darted in and out of the shadows as he made his way to the Unseen University. On occasion he would stop, check both directions, wait for a moment or two, and then carry on.

Dibbler was only a business-man, and a notoriously unsuccessful one at that. But there were bills, and they did have to be paid; because if they weren't someone from the Assassins Guild would soon be paid to jump out of the shadows and chop off his head.

Dibbler cringed. He didn't like to think about it. He just did the things that were necessary. And times were tight. So picking up a package in the middle of the night and dropping it off at the Unseen University was necessary…

"Hey you," a hoarse voice called out. "Dibbler!"

The man named Dibbler froze on the spot. He looked around for the owner of the voice; but could only see the vaguest of silhouettes lurking in the dark space between two buildings. He swallowed a lump in his throat.

"Dibbler?"

"Yes?"

"Did you bring it?"

"Of course," said Dibbler, but then he seemed to reevaluate his position, and said, "Maybe," instead.

"What are you worried about, Dibbler? We're all friends here… See?" A package slid out of the shadows and across the cobble-stone road. It stopped at Dibbler's feet. "Go ahead and look. It's all there." The voice was smooth and liquidy.

Dibbler seemed weary to move his gaze from the shadows, but his eyes kept falling on the box at his feet.

"What's the matter, Dib? You don't trust me?" said the voice.

For the first time since they met Dibbler drew himself up to his full height and puffed out his chest and said, "This is Ankh-Morpork. I don't trust my own grand-mother."

"Good point. But if you don't learn to trust me how are we going to ever be able to leave. We'll just have to stare at each other for all eternity until you decide to pick up that box and look inside."

Dibbler considered this for a moment.

"Did you say all eternity?"

"Yes."

Dibbler let out a deep sigh. Then he picked up the package at his feet and opened it.

His jaw dropped.

"It's beautiful," he said, in the tone of one who is appreciating great art.

"Thank you," said the voice. "Now may I have it?"

Dibbler regarded the other package with mild disgust. He dropped it in the middle road as though he thought it were something very unpleasant. Then he turned around and went back down the street, caressing his package, and having become totally oblivious to the man in the shadows.

However the man in the shadows had not become totally oblivious to him. "Never seen a man react like that," he said. "Not over fresh sausages anyway. Amazing."

The man in the shadows strode out of the darkness and revealed himself to the world. Yet no one seemed to notice. Little birds were chirping merrily overhead.No onesuspected that this was the same master of mayhem who had taken the one ring out of Middle-earth and who had bribed C.M.O.T. Dibbler to bring it here to the Unseen University.

Oh well. Better luck tomorrow, I suppose. He swooped down andhoisted up his luggage, finally making his way to the little known side-entrance of the Unseen University.

Even though the man from the shadows had taken great lengths to travel in stealth his passage had not in fact gone unnoticed. If one looked very hard they might have seen a short, broad, and… shall we say, wooden figure plodding along in his wake. Its shape, size, and exact dimensions were unintelligible. But if one were to listen very carefully they might hear the tiny patter of hundreds of little feet…