Disclaimer: Bleach does not belong to me. Curses.
A/N: So, after rewatching Bleach, I was thinking about Zaraki's zanpakuto. And started wondering what it would be like not to be able to be heard. Kind of sad really. So here's a story about Kenpachi's zanpakuto.
A few terms to know, feel free to correct if they are wrong.
aibou - partner
reiatsu - 'spiritual pressure' or 'spirit force'. Basically the power of a shinigami/hollow etc.
zanpakuto - the physical manifestation of a shinigami's power. Usually have a name and a phrase that is necessary for their wielder to release them to shikai and bankai form.
*tips hat* Thank you for reading!
A Rising Tide
Its strange, you know?
Strange.
But I have never screamed louder before. Never before this moment has all my shrieking and wailing reached this height. With everything I am, I scream, 'Hear me!'
But he can't.
Hasn't been able to as long as we have been together. All of those battles. All of the blood soaked night in that place of darkness and beastiality. So many floods and earthquakes here in his Inner World, in the darkness. And every fight, his reiatsu rising with the joy of battle and the fovever in the center of time that is a sword-master's moment, I scream to him. 'Let me help, let me fight with you, let me share your joy!' But always silence is my only answer.
Then came the child. And names.
A name...what I would give.
And after that, more fighting, more battles. More blood-joy. And more screaming. He became stronger, and still could not hear me. Became a Captain, and could not hear me. Became bored with the fighting he was forced to do with those weaker than he, which was everyone. So then came the eyepatch, and the bells. And with the eyepatch, I tried again. Maybe with less of his reiatsu he will hear...? But no.
And then came this boy. This strange boy with his curious, bright hair who was so afraid at first. So very afraid. But with the strength to stand under my partner's spiritual pressure at blood-joy level. There is potential there, I thought, looking on, and such high reiatsu! And then my partner began to fight. And the boy ran.
Disappointing, really, but who could blame him?
And my partner could not be cut by him, the resolve in the boy's reiatsu too weak to extend the edge of his zanpakuto to slice. Pity. And so I went through him, leaving him bleeding on the ground. And as my partner walked away, he trailed me along the ground before fliping me to rest on his shoulder. A gesture as familiar a a pat on a small head, or a punch to a shoulder. A gesture between comrades. And I find a small measure of peace, that at least he finds me useful and valuable. The boy is already nearly forgotten by us both.
And then the air pulses.
Tha-dumb.
And the boy's reiatsu soars suddenly, explosively. My aibou turns back, and the boy is surrounded by his resolve, writhing about him like ribbons of lightning. And I feel the difference. His soul has finally aligned itself with his zanpakuto; there is a peace and determination that wasn't there before. And then he rushes us, and my partner is cut! I feel his surprise as the boy sends him reeling back on his heels with his sudden increase of strength. And against it all, I begin to hope. That this boy will be strong enough, that my partner will feel his battle-joy, his blood-joy once again, that this time I will reach him with my screaming.
And their fight continues. Blow after blow, exchanging words between, they fight. And my partner asks how this bright headed, curious boy can not enjoy fighting when he is so strong. And he laughs! And I howl to the skies of his world, sharing his joy yet desparing. 'Hear me!'
But still no.
And then he takes his eyepatch off, my aibou. And his strength is so great it spirals up towards his sky, twisting like a giant drill above him. And the boy is surprised, and worried, but not scared, not anymore. And I think, Ah, he has found his strength. And then I see. An old man in a long, dark coat with ragged hair and a stubble covered chin. And then I understand. And I shriek, and wail, raging with joy yet keening my lamentation and sorrow above me, shrill and metalic in its noise, vibrating and reverberating around me until my form quivers with the strength of it.
And I am heard.
By the boy. By the boy and his companion, who clasps his hands around those of his wielder, bolstering his strength with his own, circular. The boy hears me declaring my grief so loudly it rings through my steel. And I feel his sorrow for me. And it heals the rends in my heart a little. But I scream on.
'Let me fight with you! Let me fight! Call my name! Hear me!'
'I AM *******!'
But my words fall on deaf ears. He cannot hear me. Cannot hear me. The boy put his trust it his zanpakuto, in his partner and it becomes stronger than ever, rising again. Circling from him to his sword and back again. Trust and strength. Still I keen on. And the battle is decided with one final swing. And there is sudden pain. The bright haired boy falls, his blood painted out in a pattern of arcs around him.
"Sorry, everyone..." His words are faint.
But as I fall back against a familiar shoulder, I feel myself break. And the pain is suddenly there, real, nearly overpowering, choking off my scream. And my aibou collapses. He comes to a few minutes later, away from the battle field. He talks to his fukutaicho, speaks to her of the day that they both recieved names. And then...
"I'd forgotten about it for a long time...the pain of not having a name. Everyone could be called by their names, but I didn't have one. What a feeling that was... I've made you wait a hell of a long time."
I am frozen. Speechless and silent in his grip as he raises me above his prone form, broken tip facing the wide blue sky.
"You might be thinkin', 'after all these years, what the hell?'..."
Incredulity shivers through me. He's right. He has never heard me and he knows me so well already! I feel something inside, like a ray of sunshine...
"But you think you could tell me now...your name?"
It is like a lightning strike, this feral hope that is now rising in me like a savage tide. 'YES!' I scream against the sky, howling the words with my heart rising. 'Yes! Hear me now! Call me out! I am *******! I am *******!'
Silence.
"Che. No way after all, huh?"
No. He still cannot hear.
I am lowered, his hand and my hilt pressed against his face to hide the emotion there.
"I want to get stronger... I found someone to fight. I can still get stronger! I want to fight! I want to get stronger! " He is nearly choking on the words. I wail my grief again. But it is high and quiet this time. Merely a shiver along the remaining steel of my ragged blade. The water around me rises with his turmoil, crashing through his Inner World. I echo his feelings with my mourning. He cannot hear.
"It's been a long time since I had this feelin'..."
Waves crash around me sudddenly, strong and tempestuous as a typhoon.
"I WANT TO GET STRONGER!"
I whisper within his soul. 'Hear me, I am *******.'
Maybe one day he will hear.
A/N: Zaraki's lines are taken directly from episode 39 of Bleach