A/N: I watched the movie and I couldn't resist writing this. It had to be done. Also, I tried my best to do some research on Burgess and concluded that it was the Burgess in South Carolina. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Warnings: SPOILERS AHOY. And some suggestive humor. Rated T for a reason.
JACK FROST: User Guide and Manual
Congratulations! You have just purchased your very own JACK FROST Unit. This manual was written in order to allow you to make the most of your Unit's potentials, and it is highly recommended that you carefully peruse this before unpacking your Unit to avoid frostbites (no pun intended) and/or injuries due to a mini indoor blizzard or other such freak weather incidents. Guardians and co. will not be responsible for any injury caused to the owner by the Unit because of the owner's failure to comply with the instructions on the manual.
Technical Specifications:
Name: Jackson "Jack" Frost. Will respond to "Jack", "Jack Frost" and "Jokul Frosti". Will also respond to "Frostbite", but understand that if you are not an E. ASTER BUNNYMUND Unit, you do so at your own peril.
Age: 17
Place of Manufacture: Burgess, South Carolina, USA
Height: 5' 11''
Weight: 125 lbs
Length: The makers of this manual deign not to provide such information. Why would you need it anyway?
Your JACK FROST Unit comes with the following:
One (1) wooden staff
Two (2) frosted blue hoodies
Two (2) pairs of pants
One (1) cape
Please note that shoes are not included because your JACK FROST Unit does not require any and it would therefore be unwise to request him to wear any shoes. In addition, if the clothing provided proves to be insufficient, your JACK FROST Unit will be partial to any kind of casual teenager clothes.
Programming:
Your JACK FROST Unit comes with the following traits:
Guardian: Although he may not look like the type, your JACK FROST Unit is unusually good with children, owing to the fact that he is a Guardian. It would be perfectly safe to let him babysit children, though Guardians and co. will not be responsible in the event that your eardrums are burst from the squealing of excited kids.
Prankster: As most adults are unable to see the JACK FROST Unit, this makes him the ideal practical joker for any event. Coupled with his abilities to summon snow and wind at his will, your parties will certainly be a blast with him around!
Ice Sculptor: the JACK FROST Unit is the embodiment of winter and is unsurprisingly an expert with ice and snow. If you can convince him to make a few ice totems for you, we guarantee that you will soon be raking in tons of cash from the lifelike statues.
Removal of your JACK FROST Unit from packaging:
It is highly recommended that you carefully read through the following section before attempting to do anything to the package, for the sake of your own sanity.
1. If you have an E. ASTER BUNNYMUND Unit, you may ask your Unit to open the package for you. Chances are, your Units will most likely get into a deadlock unless your E. ASTER BUNNYMUND Unit is in Protective mode. The stalemate may result in some damage to your property (which Guardians and co. are not responsible for) but it offers you the perfect distraction for you to reprogram your Unit.
2. If you have a NICHOLAS ST. NORTH Unit, the most recommended way for you to open the package is to get this Unit to do so. Provided that your JACK FROST Unit had not just been shoved into a sack and tossed into a magic portal when it was transported to your house, the JACK FROST Unit will react normally and you can reprogram him while he is talking to the NICHOLAS ST. NORTH Unit. If he had undergone the above scenario…we can only wish you the best of luck.
3. If you do not own any of the above Units, you will have to open the package yourself. First, ensure that there are no TOOTHIANA or BABY TOOTH Units around the immediate vicinity or you will be denied the opportunity to reprogram your JACK FROST Unit as they will immediately start fawning over his perfect teeth that sparkle like freshly fallen snow. Next, ensure that you are in your warmest winter gear. Gloves and a scarf or some kind of face protection is especially important, as a JACK FROST Unit who had just woken up may release large amounts of snow and frost into the room.
When you are sure that you are properly prepared, you may open the box directly and prod him or call his name. If your Unit stirs, back off immediately to prevent being hit by an onslaught of some mini blizzard. Wait for the chaos to be over, and then cautiously approach the box. If your Unit appears to be in a good mood, he will allow you to reprogram him. If he is in a bad mood, give him some offerings of cookies or cakes (make sure they taste good) and he might allow you to reprogram him after that. If he is in a terrible mood and refuses to allow you to reprogram him no matter what (most likely because he had been tossed into a magic portal prior to arriving at your house), you can get a SANDMAN Unit to knock him unconscious and reprogram him, or just wait till he allows you to reprogram him.
Reprogramming
After successfully unpacking your JACK FROST Unit, you may choose to reprogram him from his default Mischievous mode.
Mischievous (default)
Protective
Gentle
Flirty
Troll
Enraged (locked)
Angsty (locked)
JACK FROST is usually in his default Mischievous mode, which means that he is generally happy, energetic, and very playful (and has a conspicuous disregard for rules). Having him around means that there is likely to be ten times more havoc than usual in your house. Be prepared to wake up to a bedroom that had magically turned into a winter wonderland (even in the middle of summer), slide down the stairs on carpets of ice and find a frozen cup of coffee on your breakfast table. Children, however, adore him in this mode as he is likely to amuse them with endless manifestations of his frosty powers.
The Protective mode is a common mode amongst all Guardian Units, and will be automatically activated when a child is threatened by imminent danger. (You may also program him into this mode if you wish.) In this mode, your JACK FROST Unit will do whatever it takes to get the child out of danger. Be prepared for some badass icy action as he blasts the offending threat into oblivion.
When talking to sad children, your JACK FROST Unit will normally be in the Gentle mode. He is really good at comforting people in this mode, and chances are, if you are feeling down, he will be able to cheer you up in no time. An E. ASTER BUNNYMUND Unit is also much more likely to tolerate the presence of a JACK FROST Unit when he is in this mode.
JACK FROST Units are good not just with children, but people in general. In the Flirty mode, your JACK FROST Unit is ten times as likely to have a TOOTHIANA Unit fawn over him or make a BABY TOOTH Unit swoon over him. Do note that humans are also susceptible to his charms in the Flirty mode (how else did you think he managed to get so many fangirls after him?), and you may find it much harder to admonish him for his pranks or deny his requests (to cover your entire house with a sheet of ice, for instance) when he is in this mode.
The Troll mode is activated when your JACK FROST Unit is having too much fun in his Mischievous mode. This mode is almost no different from the Mischievous mode except that his pranks may really get out of hand and annoy everyone present (much to his delight, of course). An E. ASTER BUNNYMUND Unit is ten times more likely to flip at a JACK FROST Unit when he is in Troll mode rather than his default mode, and you may use that as an indication of the potential damage that could be done to your property when he is in this mode. You may, fortunately, choose to reprogram him out of this mode – if you can catch him.
The Enraged mode is locked, meaning that you cannot reprogram him into this mode, and for good reason. This mode can be activated when the threat that got him into Protective mode refuses to back down, or when he is insulted or taunted beyond what he can bear. In this mode, he will tear down your house. Literally. If an Enraged JACK FROST Unit is placed with an Enraged E. ASTER BUNNYMUND Unit, it is highly likely that they will destroy an entire building. To get your JACK FROST Unit out of this mode, get a NICHOLAS ST. NORTH Unit to restrain him, or a SANDMAN Unit to knock him unconscious (he will be back to his default Mischievous mode when he wakes up). Your JACK FROST Unit may also activate his Enraged mode in the presence of a PITCH BLACK Unit.
The Angsty mode is locked as well, because having an Angsty JACK FROST Unit is like having apocalypse knock at your door. It's just not supposed to happen. However, if he does happen to slip into this mode because he was reminiscing about his family or because he had been subjected to torture and/or rape by a PITCH BLACK Unit, it would take a lot of convincing to get him out of this mode. (In addition, do note that Guardians and co. will take legal action against any owner that intentionally subjects his or her JACK FROST Unit to BDSM/torture by a PITCH BLACK Unit.) Ironically, it is an E. ASTER BUNNYMUND Unit that has been proved to be best at getting a JACK FROST Unit out of the Angsty mode.
Relationships with other Units:
NICHOLAS ST. NORTH: Your Unit views the NICHOLAS ST. NORTH Unit as a father figure, and the two of them get along splendidly. A NICHOLAS ST. NORTH Unit may occasionally nag at a JACK FROST Unit, and has been proven to be the only Unit to whom a JACK FROST Unit will pay any heed in terms of advice. No romantic relationship is possible between the two.
SANDMAN: Your Unit gets along rather well with a SANDMAN Unit, but has difficulty interpreting what the SANDMAN Unit is trying to say with his magic sand at times. Your Unit may get a NICHOLAS ST. NORTH Unit to translate what the SANDMAN Unit is saying. No romantic relationship is possible between the two.
TOOTHIANA: The TOOTHIANA Unit has a not-so-secret crush on the JACK FROST Unit, and usually expresses this crush by obsessing over a JACK FROST Unit's perfect teeth (and the creators of this manual concede that they are, in fact, rather pretty.) If the two Units are allowed to spend enough time together, romance is possible. However, you should ensure that your JACK FROST Unit is not merely in his Flirty mode and being flippant about it.
E. ASTER BUNNYMUND: Your Unit has a rather open rivalry with the E. ASTER BUNNYMUND Unit, and when the two are together, there usually will be twice the havoc in your house. However, the two are actually pretty good friends deep down (though neither will admit it) and with a little bit of coaxing, love may or may not blossom between the two. Do not try too hard though, or you will find yourself on the wrong end of a staff and a boomerang.
PITCH BLACK: To put it simply, your Unit loathes the PITCH BLACK Unit (and so do all other Guardian Units.) The two of them will always clash (and it is not the benign sparring between a JACK FROST Unit and an E. ASTER BUNNYMUND Unit we are talking about here) when they meet, because there is no goodwill between the two. The only relationship possible between the two other than enmity is a twisted BDSM-centred physical relationship, which is illegal for the owners of the Units to instigate, by the way. It is, hence, advisable to keep your JACK FROST Unit (and all other Guardian Units) well away from a PITCH BLACK Unit.
BABY TOOTH: A BABY TOOTH Unit is an unabashed fangirl of the JACK FROST Unit and will often swoon openly in front of him. Your JACK FROST Unit will view all BABY TOOTH Units as a relative/sibling that requires protection and no romantic relationship is possible between the two as a result. However, BABY TOOTH Units are known to be a main source of disruption of any possible romantic relationships between a JACK FROST Unit and a TOOTHIANA Unit.
Cleaning
Your Unit is perfectly capable of cleaning himself, and does not mind bathing with the children he babysits. In addition, he will have a tendency to be as pristinely clean as the whitest snow you can find despite his messing around the house.
Feeding
Your Unit is not a picky eater and would thus eat most kinds of cuisine, including fast food and takeaways. He has a sweet tooth, so cookies and cakes are very welcome. (You may also notice that regardless of how much junk food he eats, he never seems to get fat or get a bad tooth. Blame the genes and the metabolism.)
Rest
Your JACK FROST Unit will sleep whenever he likes and wake up at whatever time he fancies. He also tends to be a night person, so he will be up and active at ungodly times of the day. Also, do note that Guardian Units are capable of going for days without sleep, so do not be surprised if your JACK FROST Unit appears to not have slept for an entire week.
Your Unit does not mind sharing a room with other Units except the E. ASTER BUNNYMUND and PITCH BLACK Units. He may also snuggle up with the children he babysits, but that is usually not for long because a JACK FROST Unit is entirely capable of freezing someone in close contact with them for extended periods of time to death.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How did my mother just walk right through my Unit?
A: The JACK FROST Unit is only visible to those who believe in him. As such, your mother (and most other adults) who do not believe in folklore characters will not be able to see him. This applies to all other Guardian Units as well.
Q: Is my JACK FROST Unit huggable?
A: Yes, he does not mind being hugged. Try not to squish all the air out of his lungs, though. It is also unadvisable to hug him for extended periods of time as he tends to be rather cold.
Q: Why does my Unit go around barefoot?
A: A JACK FROST Unit likes the constraints of shoes as much as he likes rules.
Q: What is that stick that comes along with my Unit?
A: That is his magic staff. He uses it as a conduit for his powers.
Q: Why can't my JACK FROST Unit and my E. ASTER BUNNYMUND Unit just leave each other alone?
A: That is like asking why the Universe was created by a Big Bang or why must electrons be called electrons. Now stop wondering.
Q: Will my Unit get along with Units from other companies?
A: Yes, the JACK FROST Unit is amiable and will get along with most other Units. He has been proven to relate especially well to MATTHEW WILLIAMS and GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT Units from Flying Mint Bunny Inc. and the MERIDA Unit from Brave Inc.
Q: Why is instigating a BDSM relationship between a JACK FROST Unit and a PITCH BLACK Unit illegal?
A: Guardians and co. would not like to encourage non-con and abusive behaviour amongst children. In addition, a BDSM relationship between Units also violates the 42C Code of Non-Mistreatment of Artificially Created Beings and is thus prosecutable by the law.
Q: Why won't the manual creators tell me his length?
A: This was initially intended to be a child-friendly manual and such information is therefore unsuitable. Furthermore, the makers of this manual wishes to discourage the owner of a JACK FROST Unit from making any sexual advances towards their Unit, as the JACK FROST Unit tends to be rather…frigid. No pun intended. But if you must, imagine the longest icicle that can hang from the roof of your house.
Q: My JACK FROST Unit is wandering around the streets shirtless in the middle of winter and getting weird stares from everyone! How do I—(the rest of the writing has been obscured by blood spatters)
A: Firstly, it is impossible that a JACK FROST Unit is getting weird stares on the street, because most people cannot see him. Secondly, we understand this as a plea for help by a hapless owner who cannot stop nosebleeding from seeing her JACK FROST Unit's rather nicely toned chest and would thus take the unfinished question to be "How do I stop myself from nosebleeding?" Do you have high blood pressure? It would be advisable for you to cut down on sodium and fat intake and monitor your blood pressure regularly. We will also enclose benazepril hydrochloride pills in our reply.
Troubleshooting
Problem: Instead of receiving a teenager with white hair, pale skin and electric blue eyes, you have received a teenager with brown hair, rosy cheeks and brown eyes.
Solution: We have sent you a Human!Jack Frost by accident. This version of the Unit is identical to the usual counterpart except that he does not possess any magical powers. Give Customer Services a call and we will swap him for the original Unit right away.
Problem: Your Unit has become impossibly weak after a PITCH BLACK Unit has snapped his staff in two.
Solution: Your Unit is magically connected to his staff, and the breaking of the staff will cause physical damage to your Unit as well. In order to allow him to recover, let him repair the staff (this is achieved through sheer willpower on your Unit's part). This may require some coaxing from a BABY TOOTH Unit together with showing him the memories in his baby teeth, obtainable via a TOOTHIANA Unit.
End Notes
With care and an open mind, your JACK FROST Unit will prove to be an excellent companion that will fill your days with endless fun. We wish you luck and hope that you will enjoy your time with him.