Why in the heck did I think eating baked beans was a good idea?
Bella was in agony. Here she was, in the back of Emmett's jeep, her beloved Edward beside her, and she was cramping like there was no tomorrow. She knew it was only a matter of time before what was causing her agony was on the outside instead of bubbling on the inside like molten, stinky lava. She had to fart in the worst way and they were 200 miles south of any sort of bathroom facility.
Fine day to go off-roading in B.F.E. .
Jasper, not known for being the fastest driver in the Cullen clan, was behind the wheel, Alice was humming contentedly beside him. They all seemed oblivious to her intestinal distress.
"Jasper, please pull over."
Edward was immediately clasping her hand, looking worriedly at the sweat collecting on her brow.
"Bella, what is it? Are you ill?"
Squeezing her cheeks together, she shook her head giving him what she hoped were pleading, puppy dog eyes.
"Jasper, PULL OVER!"
"Well, I guess that explains the smell." Alice said, stifling a laugh.
"What smell?" Edward and Jasper asked in unison.
A loud ripping sound, accompanied by a smell comparable to the deepest pit of hell filled the Jeep's interior.
Bella's face turned a deep crimson as all heads turned to look at her.
"That smell." Alice said as Jasper began to roll the windows down.