Damon was not happy.
His bags were packed, his car was gassed up and he'd very neatly managed to avoid any and all goodbyes.
Then Liz had called, putting the whole kibosh on his chances of a clean getaway.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. What the hell had he been thinking? And where the fuck was his faultless ability to lie his ass off at a moment's notice, when he needed it.
God! he'd gone fucking soft. The sooner he got the hell out of Mystic Falls the better.
Unfortunately thanks to Liz, his departure would now be delayed for at least three more hours.
When Liz had rung him; less than twenty minutes before, he'd suffered a rather mistimed attack of sentiment. And so, feeling bad that he would undoubtedly never see her again, he'd made the very crap decision to tell her his plan's.
Of course, Liz had then proceeded; with an admittedly impressive show of emotional blackmail, to make him feel extra guilty that he'd even considered leaving town without saying goodbye. And somewhere in the middle of all that, she'd somehow wrangled his agreement to participate in tonight's annual Mystic falls Christmas auction.
Of course it wasn't until after he agreed, that she'd casually mentioned that it was yet another bachelor auction, much like the one Carol had roped him in to that last time.
So now, he had twenty minuted to get dressed and get his butt down to of all places; the Grill. Where he was certain, knowing his luck and fate's sick sense of humour; Elena Gilbert and co would undoubtedly be celebrating. And considering how things had turned out for him lately, he'd be willing to bet the pink slip on his Camaro, that his brother would undoubtedly be there and glued to her side as well.
God! I hate fucking Christmas.
If that potential public humiliation wasn't enough, to top it off he had to cross everything he had and hope that Liz would keep her mouth shut, at least long enough to ensure his clean getaway from this God cursed town.
Crap! He really hoped his brother had decided to give tonight a miss. The last thing he needed to see on his last night in town, was his brother and Elena, getting all cutesy pie over their forever love.
Rolling his eyes at his own thought's, Damon used his vampire speed to hurry up the dressing part of the night and then made a beeline to his car.
Ten minutes later; all evidence of his intended decamping safely stored in the boot of his Camaro, Damon entered the Grill.
Twenty five minutes later, he was doing his best not to vamp out and snap a certain new borne neck.
He clenched his jaw and tried to control his impulses, as Elena Gilbert raised her hand and bid against the blonde cougar yet again. The cougar; that he'd been nearly positive (if her lustful stare was anything to go by) that he'd shortly be spending his last hurrah with.
Of course, that was before Elena decided to get in on the fun and screw with both his head and his chances of getting laid. And as bizarre as that even was, it didn't compare to the looks she'd been exchanging with the other bidders. The very enthusiastic bidders, whose bids were flatteringly generous and more importantly (to him at least) a considerable balm to his much abused ego. All of which, had been happily vying for his company, until little Miss 'It's always going to be Stefan' had inserted herself into the proceedings. Shortly thereafter, the (mostly) friendly competitive atmosphere had packed up and gone home, shaking its head and taking his last nerve with it.
He clamped his teeth together and counted to one hundred for the fourth time as Elena shot yet another glare at Meredith Fell, before out bidding her yet again.
If he hadn't known for a fact that Katherine was in Brazil, he'd swear it was her throwing those nasty looks around willy nilly. What the hell did Elena think she was doing bidding on her boyfriends brother, anyway? Christ on a crutch, hadn't the girl tortured him enough? And where the fuck was his little brother when he needed him.
Oh... hold on, that was not good. Why was she jumping around like a Chihuahua on crack? Well fuckity fuck fuck!
Who knew she even had that much money.
He groaned and tossed a look skyward.
Just great, you couldn't have cut me a break and just let me slip away quietly. No...coz that wouldn't be any fun at all. You just had to get in that last lick before I left, didn't you.
With a glare that could have scorched paint; or better yet... whoever was up stairs and currently in charge of screwing with his life, Damon reluctantly turned his attention from the hypothetical source of his misery and met the gaze of the actual real live instigator of said misery, one Elena fucking Gilbert.
Sighing in defeat, he pasted on Smile number three; stepped down off the makeshift stage and reluctantly allowed himself to be claimed.
Now that she'd gotten over her excitement of winning him (didn't he wish). Elena had gone back to glaring at the numerous women, that had been her rival bidders. And of course, every last one of them had suddenly found it vitally important to come straight over and congratulate her on her win.
When the blonde he'd been eyeing earlier, tried to get up close and personal; her desire to get to know him better not at all stalled by Elena's victory; he was certain he must be hearing things.
Was she? No she wasn't... she couldn't possibly be... fucking hell, she was.
Elena Gilbert, was growling, she was growling and... Oh shit!
"Right then, time to go." he cut in smoothly.
Taking her arm in a firm grip, he steered her towards the exit as quickly as he could, hopefully without drawing unwanted attention.
"Elena," he whispered harshly, "get it together and for God's sake, keep your head down until we get out of here."
"What, why? oh my God!" she gasped as Damon frowned and flashed the barest hint of fang to clue her in.
She ducked her head and covered her mouth; and in what he judged to be a fair approximation of someone on the edge of hurling, she put on a burst of near vampire speed and practically dragged him through the door and into the car park.
By the time they'd reached his car, she'd pretty much managed to regain control over her features; but Damon found himself unexpectedly and suddenly furious with her, more than he could ever remember being and he'd been mad at Elena a lot. Hell! it was practically a hobby for him.
Forcefully clamping down on his anger, he opened the car door and waited for her to get in. Closing it carefully, he took a deep breath and told himself that he only had to keep it together for a couple more hours, (maybe less if their track record ran true to form) before blurring to the drivers side.
Sliding behind the wheel he tried to hold on to that thought, even as he resisted the urge to bang his forehead, against said wheel.
Jesus Christ! how the hell was he supposed to spend the next ten minutes with her, let alone two hours. And where 'the Fuck' could he possibly take her on Christmas eve. Mystic falls, wasn't exactly a teeming metropolis at the best of times and nearly everything, with the exception of the Grill and a few restaurants, would be shut by now. And of course, all the restaurants would be reservation only on this very un-merry Christmas eve.
Well, there was nothing else for it; it would have to be the boarding house. Unless... hmm, maybe he could convince her to accept the money she'd spent on the stupid auction, then he could drop her off at her place and still make a clean getaway.
Yeah, that could work.
"So, where's my brother tonight." He asked casually "Would you like me to drop you off somewhere? BTW you know I'm more than happy to reimburse you for the money you spent. After all, you did save me from a bunch of sex starved women; oh and that weird guy from the cut and blow." he added with a smirk.
He glanced over at her expectantly and froze.
Oh great, what had he said now. She looked pissed, why the hell was she pissed? He was the only one that got to be pissed around here. After all, he'd been the poor sap that had his escape plan's foiled by the sheriff and a teenage girl; not to mention the inadvertent cock blocking by the latter.
He sighed, and rolled his eyes.
"Okay, what's the problem Elena?" he inquired warily.
When no immediate reply was forthcoming. he gave in to the inevitable and turned to face her.
"C'mon, spit it out Miss prim, I haven't got all night and the sooner you finish the yelling, the sooner I can drop you off and get on with mine."
She glared and folded her arms. Tossing her head in a very Caroline like manner, she turned and faced the windscreen.
"I don't want the money back, and Stefan's not here. Care's car was in the shop and she had to go to Richmond to pick up Tyler's present, so Stefan offered to drive her. They won't be back till late tonight, so you'll just have to suck it up and find something to amuse me." she informed him, her expression set in that stubborn look he knew so well.
Well, that was unexpected and not at all what he wanted to hear; not when he just wanted to get to the leaving town part of his night.
Admitting defeat yet again; and fuck if that wasn't becoming something of a nasty habit, he started the car.
"Fine then, but it will have to be dinner at the boarding house. Liz roped me in to the stupid action at the last minute, so I didn't have time to make reservation's and everything else is shut, probably on account of it being Christmas eve." he added sardonically.
"Whatever." she agreed, her voice noticeably snippy.
And that was the sum total of their conversation, for the remainder of the drive.
Opening the front door and ushering her into the house, barely fifteen minutes later; Damon couldn't help reflecting on the irony of the situation.
Here he was, desperate to leave town so he wouldn't have to watch his brother and Elena live their version of happily ever after and instead of being miles away like he'd planned, he was being forced to endure something he would have literally killed for, only days ago.
It fucking sucked.
And yet again, stuck being the substitute, a stand in for the brother she really wanted, but couldn't have. She was probably only doing this because she was mad that St Stefan had ridden to Blondie's rescue. Who was she kidding, of course she knew Steffie would be pissed if she hung out with Damon. Hell, it was probably the whole reason behind her little auction stunt in the first place.
Entering the kitchen he fumed silently. Why the hell was she doing this to him? She'd made her choice, she'd let him go. And yes, he'd understood that she'd needed him after her transition, but she'd been fine for months now.
She had Stefan and her perfect little vampire life. Why the fuck couldn't she just leave him alone. Why get him involved at all, and why the little jealousy act? It wasn't like any of her little friends were even there to rat her out to his brother.
Oh who the fuck cared, another hour or so and he was out of here for good and if he was lucky, he'd never see any of their stupid judgemental faces again.
Pulling out the necessary cookware and rummaging through the cupboards, he kept telling himself it was only for a little while longer; that she'd eat and she'd more than likely disappear upstairs to Stefan's room. He just had to keep it together and get through dinner and then he could finally leave.
He was putting the pasta on to boil and congratulating himself for resisting the urge to ask her what was wrong, when she finally decided to talk.
"So I suppose you're mad at me, Huh? " She shot him a look, her expression unreadable .
He raised a brow, his own expression noncommittal.
She looked down and traced the edge of the kitchen counter with a finger; her voice deliberately casual as she continued.
"Mira, you know the blonde one, I noticed she was bidding pretty fiercely," she darted a quick look from under her lashes "she's pretty attractive for her age and she it seemed like she really wanted that date with you." she observed offhandedly."So did you know her from somewhere? Not that's any of my business, I just thought she looked sorta pissed when I out bid her." she added quickly.
He looked over at her, a cocky smirk on his face.
"Hmm, Well you know me, Mr popular. What can I say, some women just find me irresistible."
Elena scowled and then rolled her eyes.
"Poor Damon, so many women... So little time." she offered mockingly Well then, I'm so sorry for ruining your night and your chance of getting laid. Bu hey, shouldn't be a problem for you, a little casual flirting next time you see her and I'm sure she'll give you another shot. And if you strike out there, I happen to know for a fact that her granddaughter is single." The last part was muttered so quietly, that it was only thanks to vampire hearing that he caught it at all.
He did a mental double take at her words.
Turning to face her he eyed her suspiciously, sure he must be either hearing wrong or that she was screwing with him, yet again. The look on her face told him otherwise. Sweet little Elena Gilbert had just made a catty comment worthy of Blondie. What the fuck was up with that?
He arched a brow again and studied her petulant expression.
"What?" she snapped, flushing under his scrutiny.
"Hey, It's not my fault if you attract the biggest Ho's in Mystic Falls." she spat defensively."Bet you didn't know that your little blonde friend, Mira, makes Matts mother, look like a nun and you don't even wanna know where Jane Fell and Katrina Lockwood have been. Ugh! Honestly Damon, it was like skankapalooza in there tonight."
She grimaced and shook her head, her fists opening and closing in an unconscious gesture of frustration, as she very obviously tried to control her features.
He could have told her not to bother, it was a little too late for damage control. The dark veins that gave away her true nature were already glaringly obvious and as he stood and watched; her eyes darkened to black pools of emotion that meant her fangs weren't far behind.
Well Shit! He'd thought he'd imagined her earlier jealousy; told himself he was seeing what he wanted to see. Apparently, he'd been really wrong about that.
"Okay, that's it." he snarled.
Throwing down the spoon he'd been using to stir the pasta, he folded his arms and stared her down.
"What the hell is your problem tonight? You're being a complete bitch, and for once in my life, I actually don't deserve it."
"Am not." she huffed with a glare.
"Are too," he shot back with a glare of his own. "What the fuck is wrong with you Elena? Stefan not doing it for you anymore. Feeling a little frustrated or something?" he inquired tauntingly.
"Oh that's real mature. What are you, twelve? Jesus Damon, I was just making an honest observation, there's no need to make asshole comments like that." she hissed, her temper flaring.
Right, that really was it! the literal last fucking straw...he'd finally had his fill of her manipulative crap.
Moving right up close, so he was well into her personal space; he met her gaze.
"Oh yeah! Skanks were they? well what about Meredith Fell or Cady Lockwood? I know for a fact they were bidding on me and neither of them could ever be classed as anything other than respectable. Meredith has helped us out on occasion, if you remember and Cady's only been in town six weeks, so you can't possibly have a problem with her. Or is it just me Elena? Because of course, the only woman that could possibly be interested in me would have to have the morals of an alley cat, is that it?" he snarled.
"Don't be stupid Damon, I don't understand why you're getting so mad, it was just a stupid comment, I didn't mean anything by it. Jesus, who knew you could be so damn touchy. What do I care if they were skanks, it's got nothing to do with me if you want to go out with any one of them, It's a free country, you can sleep with whoever you like."
She glared at him defensively, chin lifted in her typical Elena way and that pissed him off even more.
Fine, if that's the way she wanted to play it, she was going to learn that Damon was no longer in the game.
"Fucking Bullshit! "he hissed, startling her into taking a step backwards.
"Let's call a spade a spade and be honest for once in your miserable life. You were fucking jealous tonight Elena, and it showed. It's not so easy to hide stuff like that, now you're one of the fanged set. Is it?" he asked mockingly. "You feel something for me, but you are never ever going to admit it. Because the truth is, it scares the hell out of you that you could care for someone that's not boringly predictable, someone who refuses to come every time you tug the leash."
Elena's eyes widened at his accusation, but Damon was so angry he barely even noticed. If he was going to leave town tonight, he was going to go with the knowledge that he'd had his say; that he'd finally stopped pretending that they were nothing more than friends.
"You might love Stefan, baby, but deep down where it counts, you're always gonna want me, because whether you admit it or not, that fire in you, the one you try to hide from my brother and all your little friends, that's the same fire that burns in me. And Elena... " he stroked one finger down her cheek, his gaze as heated as his words. "'Like, my sweet, always, always, calls to like." he pulled his hand away, her barely perceptible shiver telling him he'd made his point.
Leaning back against the kitchen counter he deliberately withdrew from her; first physically and then though it was harder, emotionally. His voice became purposely distant and cold, as he began to lock down his the last of his feelings.
"So yeah Elena, you can run from it... go ahead. Coz Stefan is right. I will never be good and noble, I will always be the brother that wants what he wants; the one that isn't afraid to do what needs to be done... the bad brother. But most of all, my lovely little coward; I'll always be the brother that won't apologize for being what he is... a vampire. And one day you might just get that. Not that I'll be around to see it." he informed her bluntly.
Moving suddenly and decisively, he strode over to the chair where he'd dumped his jacket before starting on dinner.
Elena watched him take something from an inside pocket. The expression on his face scaring her; as he visibly shut down before her eyes.
The guy in front of her wasn't her Damon anymore, this was the Damon that didn't care, the one she'd met that second first time at the boarding-house. She opened her mouth to say something, though she wasn't sure what, but before she could get anything out he started speaking again.
"So, I actually have some great news for you and baby bro. I'm sure St Stefan will be over the moon when he gets back tonight and hears it." He smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "
"You see, Elena; I'm finally waving the white flag on this not so kinky little threesome, I surrender, you win. From now on there is nothing between you and I, other than the fact that you are dating my brother. See... it's that easy".
His eyes bore into hers, his look daring her to open her mouth and utter even one more of her tired and over used excuses, or lame apologies.
When she looked away unable to hold his stare, he congratulated himself on being right as usual and then deliberately set out to burn the last of his bridges.
"Do you wanna know what I really had planned for tonight, Elena? Coz I can assure you, it wasn't some tacky roll in the hay with Miss Homecoming 1975." he informed her placidly.
"As a matter of fact Elena, I was actually in the process of leaving town when Liz rang me. My car is packed and I picked up my ticket to Paris yesterday." He threw what he'd retrieved from his pocket down on the kitchen counter as proof , an airline ticket for a flight out of Atlanta in five days.
His smirk was more of a grimace, as he stared at the ticket laying on the bench.
"I was so close, just one short drive away from a plane ride and all the wine, woman and song that the French Riviera could provide." he looked up and this time she met his eyes without looking away. The expression in her eyes was one of shock and it gave him the first real satisfaction that he'd had in months.
"As usual it couldn't be that easy, because of course Liz had to call just as I was walking out the door. And then I stupidly let myself get talked into doing this one last thing for her... and here we are." His hand swept out in expansive gesture, even as he shook his head slowly. His disgust in the entire situation clear, as his gaze travelled back to the ticket and the freedom it represented.
Elena stared at him and tried desperately to gather her thoughts.
When Damon looked at her again moments later, he was slightly unnerved by her stillness and the blank expression on her face.
Ignoring his discomfort at her appearance, his next words verged on the edge of flippant.
"So... there you go. You and Stefan can finally have the house all to yourselves and you can stop worrying that I might take it as encouragement if you even look at me sideway's. After tonight, my presence in Mystic Falls and your lives, will just be a fading blip on yours and Stefan's road to true love. Hell, before too long, you'll probably be able to convince yourself that everything you felt for me, was just a temporary glitch."
He smiled bitterly.
"And now Miss Gilbert," he dipped his head in a short mockery of a bow, "I will bid you a fond adieu and promise to do my best not to darken your door again. Well, not for the next hundred and fifty years of so." He added with a sly wink.
The tone and delivery of his words might have been deliberately offhand; but unfortunately, he couldn't quite manage to hide his pained expression as he turned to switch the burner under the pasta to off.
"This should still be good when Stefan get's home," he muttered distractedly, his mind busy distancing it's self; gathering strength and preparing for the pain that he knew would be coming.
"Don't let it go to waste, it's veal scaloppini, with fettuccine. One of Stef's favourites. A nice glass of Chianti and you'll be rolling in the romance." the last was added in a half hearted attempt at his usual mockery, his mind focused on his need to leave. His eyes were busy scanning the kitchen for his car keys so resolved to just get his leaving over with, that he failed to notice her reaction to his words .
"No Damon."
He looked up, startled by the harshness in her voice; he frowned in confusion. She was crying? Why was she crying?
"Huh?" he said quite inelegantly. "What do you mean, no?" he queried, voicing his confusion. His brow furrowed in perplexity, as she continued to cry rather than answer him.
"Fine, don't eat it then." he snapped. Frustration at the whole situation, threatening to destroy the distance he'd managed to cultivate.
"It's not as if I care, it's only food and it's not like it's actually gonna do more that fill your stomach anymore. C'mon Elena, there's no need for the water works, it's just pasta for Christ sake, not the blood of the innocent." he finished sarcastically.
And that was when she moved, suddenly and without warning, blurring towards him in a burst of a vampire speed; that he secretly found both thrilling and strangely alarming.
Damon wouldn't admit it, not if his life depended on it, but even after all these months he often forgot what she was now. In truth, he'd become so lost in the girl she still was, that he'd more often than not find himself unexpectedly startled, when she did something so blatantly inhuman. And of course, this time was no exception.
However; he was more than startled, when less than a moment later he found himself with an armful of sobbing girl.
As shocked as he was by her sudden presence in his arms, it did have the side benefit of refocusing his anger.
He didn't know what the hell was up with her tonight, she'd been all over the place emotionally ever since the Grill. But regardless; he really didn't need his last memory of her being some guilt ridden emotional breakdown, over his leaving town. This was exactly why he'd planned to leave without the goodbyes; the last thing he'd needed, was to see was Elena punishing herself for driving him away.
Prying her arms from around his neck, he pushed her away to the barely comfortable distance of arms length.
"C'mon Elena, don't make this any harder on me than it already is." Hands on both shoulders he gave her a gentle but firm shake, as her tears continued to flow.
He rolled his eyes skyward, before closing them briefly. A silent supplication for strength going out to whatever power that might be listening , before he opened them and looked at her.
"For God's sake Elena! just cut me some slack already. I'm tired and I have a long drive ahead of me. Please, for the sake of what's left of this friendship, don't do this now." He sighed heavily when his words only seemed to make her cry harder.
"Look, Stefan will be home in a couple of hours and he'd be the first one to tell you not to feel guilty about this. You aren't forcing me to leave, it's my decision."
He tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn't look at him.
Letting her shoulders go, he stared at her. Feeling strangely guilty, he attempted to step away from her.
Fully intending to make a break for it and get the hell away from Mystic Falls as soon as possible, Damon turned to go.
It didn't go quite the way he planned.
"I SAID NO." snarled Elena. Head thrown up her eyes sparking in desperate fury, she lunged for him and rode his body to the kitchen floor.
His "What the fuck?" was all he managed to get out, before his mouth became occupied by the totally unexpected invasion of Elena's lips and tongue.
He froze for approximately one second, before his brain caught on to what was happening. And that was about all the sanity he had time for; as he lost himself in the taste of Elena's mouth.
He was on the floor with her under him; her top and bra God knows where, when his brain finally decided to rejoin the party. He stilled, as the full ramifications of what they were about to do washed over him.
Elena was clawing at his shirt, scattering buttons every which way across the kitchen floor. And she no sooner had his shirt open, than she was reaching for his pants. And Damon knew; in some far off distant corner of his lust soaked mind, that this was very likely going to kill him. Because there was no way he could have her and know that tomorrow she'd be back in Stefan's arm's and bed. Elena wasn't Katherine; he would remove his ring and take a stroll in the sun, rather than share any part of her; be it her body, or the memory of having her.
Her hand had managed to get his zip unfastened and she was in the process of stroking more than his ego, when he finally found the last of his senses.
Grabbing her hand; he stopped her before he was past the point of no return. And as gently as he possibly could, he moved off of her and collapsed on the floor beside her.
In a minute he'd get up and leave. He'd get in his car and he wouldn't look back. And he most definitely wouldn't think about what had nearly happened on his kitchen floor. He sighed and draped his forearm across his eyes. Yep, any minute now...
"Damon, what's wrong. Why did you stop, did I do something wrong?"
She placed a tentative hand on his arm and very gently pulled it away from his face.
"Damon, please look at me. I don't understand. I thought this was what you wanted." Her voice sounded strained and small and Damon found himself suddenly furious, all over again.
"God! you really don't know me at all, do you Elena. I never wanted this from you. Not like this."
He sat up abruptly and looked away from her, trying to regain some form of control. Running his hands through his hair distractedly, he gritted his teeth as he turned back to face her. Keeping his eyes lowered, his words were deliberately harsh.
"Do you really think the memory of a pity fuck on the kitchen floor, is gonna be substitute for God knows how many years of missing you? Not to mention, the added guilt of sleeping with my brothers girl." he laughed hollowly.
"Fuck it's just too funny. Before I met you, before falling for you, I would have taken what you're offering without a qualm. But you changed all that Elena; you changed me."
His eyes raised to meet hers and he sucked in a quick breath in shock at the expression on her face. She was smiling, and the joy in her eyes was positively blinding .
What the hell?
"You still love me." she gasped out. "Oh God Damon! I was so scared when Liz rang me and said you were leaving. I didn't know what to do...I thought I'd have time, but then suddenly there wasn't any more time and I kinda panicked." she admitted. Her expressive face still damp with her tears.
He could see the concern and worry in her eyes, but it was fading as relief and some other emotion he didn't recognize took over.
Now at a complete loss as to what was going on, Damon; for probably the first and last time in his life, decided to just shut up and let someone else do the talking for a change.
Bitting her lip as if suddenly uncertain, Elena ducked her head and flushed.
Damon quirked a brow at that; first, because he didn't think he'd ever seen her so flustered and embarrassed around him and secondly because he'd learnt through experience, that anything that made Elena look that way, was bound to be of interest to him.
At his look her gaze went all rabbity, and her eyes darted away from his.
"Um... Actually changing the subject just for a moment and I'm not deflecting or avoiding the conversation, so don't think even think it. It's just...when I did that panic thing and decided to bid for you... I was kind of desperate. So Anyway, I might have to take you up on that offer of the money, if it's still open? See I sort of had to raid Jeremy's cash stash that he was saving for college, and I pretty much cleaned out my bank account as well."
She grinned sheepishly as his second brow joined it's mate.
"Don't go getting all big headed about it." she huffed rolling her eyes. "I know your hot an all, Damon, but that was way more money than I expected. I swear if that bitch Mira, had bid against me just one more time, this night would have ended in a whole different and probably bloody way." she admitted with a guilty half shrug.
"Oookaaay. Well that's not at all disturbing". He muttered, as he tried to work out where this was going.
"Hold up. Did you say Liz called you?" he backtracked, as he finally registered what she'd just admitted.
"Well that's just fanfuckingtastic." he drawled, annoyed that he'd been manipulated so thoroughly by a human, and one who he'd counted as a friend.
"What the hell is the world coming to when you can't even trust the good guys to keep their mouths shut." He shook his head in disgust at his own gullibility.
"Actually, come to think about it, why did Liz ring you. What gave her the idea you'd even care?" his eyes narrowed suspiciously as Elena directed her best innocent look his way.
Hmmm, this should be good, he thought, watching her register his look of suspicion. She started chewing on her lip again and Damon found himself holding his breath as he waited for her answer.
Elena sighed and decided that her attempts at stalling, were nearly as bad as her earlier attempt at seduction.
Staring at the expectant look in his eyes, she decided that she couldn't drag this out any longer. He obviously still loved her... at least, she thought he did? Why was she so scared to tell him what she was feeling and why was she wasting time; time that could be better spent on other things. She flushed again, remembering the feel of him in her hand.
The guarded look and his complete stillness urged her to stop being such a coward, to just tell him. Before she really did lose him, this time for good.
Sitting up, she turned towards him, her stomach flipping with nerves as she thought about what she was about to admit.
"Okay, I know I owe you an explanation for all the mixed signals and my behaviour over the last few weeks. As long as you understand that I don't need you to humour me, or to do or say anything you don't really want to. No matter what happens Damon, I expect you to be honest about your feelings"
Damon snorted disbelievingly.
"Elena, have you met me? When have I ever, done anything that I didn't want to do? Most of our disagreement's have been because I didn't want to do what you wanted me to. And as for being honest, I've always been candid with you about how I feel, so why would I change now?"
"Okay then." She breathed out a sigh of relief before continuing nervously.
"The reason Liz called me tonight, was because Caroline told her that I'd broken up with Stefan and she knew that I'd want to know you were leaving town..."
"Wait, what? " Damon shook his head and blinked, his brain having trouble processing her words.
"Did I just hear you say you broke up with my brother? Why? When did this happen? Actually scratch that... I'd like to hear the why part first, if it's all the same to you."
She smiled at him and Damon found himself catching his breath, because he'd never see her smile like that before; not at him.
Elena couldn't help the rush of emotion she felt at the obvious hope in his eyes. God, she loved this man.
"Okay Damon, I suppose you have the right to know." she paused, the smile she was sporting turning shy as she watched his breath hitch
"The reason I broke up with Stefan, is because I'm not in love with him. I had to end it with him, because I'm in love with his ridiculously hot and annoyingly persistent, brother."
Her smile widened at his stunned expression.
Seconds later, it faded slightly, her voice laced with regret, as she reached for and grasped one of his hands.
"I know it's taken me a while to get here, but to be honest, that's because you were right in what you said earlier. I was scared of how you made me feel when I was still human and you're right, being a vampire has made everything so much more intense." she admitted.
"After I turned, I tried so hard to hold on to Stefan, to get back what we had. But it just didn't happen. I was so confused those first weeks after the change. I couldn't understand why my feelings for you wouldn't go away, why they seemed stronger than ever."
Damon's mouth tightened at her words. All he wanted was to sweep her up in his arms and never let her go, but there was a part of him that couldn't quite believe it. A part of him that couldn't believe that the woman he'd loved hopelessly for so long, was actually admitting that she loved him back.
"So anyway, one day I sat down and asked myself all those questions that I'd been too scared to ask. And I really thought about it, about how being a vampire was supposed to heighten my feelings, make everything more intense. How I'd told Stefan that my feelings for him hadn't changed. And Damon, that's when I realized I'd been right about my feelings for him. They hadn't changed, not at all. They were exactly the same and that's how I knew I was in love with you."
Damon felt like he was dreaming. He couldn't believe that Elena Gilbert was sitting on the floor of his kitchen telling him she loved him. This didn't happen to him; he wasn't the one that got the girl.
"Those first weeks after I realized... I could barely be in the same room with you, all I wanted was to be in your arms... to tell you how much more you made me feel... how much I wanted you. But I had to be sure Damon. I couldn't risk all of our hearts, not if there was any chance that it had something to do with my turning, so I waited.
Damon reached for her other hand and pulled her close. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear he rested his forehead against hers. For the first time since he'd become a vampire he found himself choked up and speechless .
"Then last week, I was Christmas shopping with Caroline and a I kept having these random moments where I'd find myself thinking things like; I wish Damon was here, I wonder if he'd like this coat on me. I must remember to tell him about the new book store that's just opened. It was weird, all day long you kept popping into my head and I didn't even question it. It wasn't until I'd mentioned your name to Caroline for the fourth time, that it hit me why it kept happening."
She smiled, thinking how fitting it had been that her big epiphany had happened in the middle of Victoria's secret, while trying on lingerie. Hmmm, she'd have to tell him about that. Maybe she could mention it while showing him the set she'd been trying on when it struck. He'd probably enjoy the symmetry nearly as much as the lingerie.
"I realized that I was thinking of you because I missed you. That I wanted to be with you, to share my thoughts with you and not just the important stuff. I wanted to tell you about my day and watch you smile at me when I babbled because I'd had way too many sugar loaded lattes at the Grill."
Her eyes were soft as she raised them and met his.
"I wanted to hold you and sleep in your arms and I wanted to gossip and bitch to my friends about you. Then defend you, because I'm the only one that get's to say bad stuff about you. I just wanted you Damon and that's how I knew it was time. So that afternoon I went and saw Stefan, and we talked."
Sliding her arms around his waist, she pulled herself into his lap and laced her fingers together in a loose hold. She could see his concern for his brother in his eyes and it made her even sadder that she had taken so long to see what was in front of her, to see how much he cared.
"Stefan wasn't really surprised or even angry, just kind of sad, though he asked if I was sure a couple of times. But honestly, I think he'd known it was coming, so he'd sort of had time to get used to the idea, well enough I suppose, to seem resigned more than anything else."
Her smile was a little sad as she rested her head on Damon's shoulder.
"He went with Care tonight to give me a some space, because he knew I hadn't told you yet and that I was planning on seeing you tonight. I was actually about to head over to your place, when Liz called me. I had this whole romantic seduction thing planned. I was going to make up for everything I put you through, but I didn't get a chance." She frowned.
"Actually, I kinda scared myself tonight with the way I reacted at the auction; I've never felt like that before Damon, I was so jealous of those other women even looking at you. You saw me. I vamped in the middle of the Grill. That is so not good. And Mira doesn't know how close she came to losing a limb tonight; I swear, if she'd laid her hand on you one more time, I was going to rip her arm off and beat her to death with It."
Damon chuckled at the fierce look on her face. God she was cute when she was jealous.
"Don't you laugh at me Damon Salvatore."
She pouted as his chuckle faded into a wondering smile. "I'm pretty sure that's not a normal reaction, though to be honest, I didn't like Mira much, even before she eye fucked you, so maybe wanting to rip her head off for pawing the man I love, is the normal thing for me now." Her brow was scrunched in thought, as she raised her head and looked at him.
Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her lightly on the nose before brushing his own against hers.
"Sweetheart, you're a vampire now, feel free to be like you were tonight as often as you like," he did the eye flirt thing and winked, "it was both extremely hot and to my complete advantage; two things you will never hear me complain about. And Elena." he added, his tone turning serious. "You never need to worry about hurting anyone. I'll always be around to distract you and keep you from doing anything you might regret. But saying that, I don't ever want you to feel ashamed of the way you feel and that also includes the bad parts too".
His lips found her cheek and he trailed soft kisses along her jaw. Taking his time to explore, he worked his way down to the pulse point on her neck.
She murmured her appreciation and ran her hands slowly down his chest, cataloguing the hard muscles that she'd never dared to touch before. Desire rippled through her as she realized that this body; that she'd seen shirtless more than once and even naked that one memorable time; this body was now hers, hers to touch and taste, hers to have whenever she liked.
Hmmm... and now would be a very good time.
Pushing his unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders, she ran her nails across pale silken skin. Deliberately slowing as she came to his nipples, she stopped to tease and pinch, loving the way they pebbled under her fingertips.
Damon made a low guttural noise deep in the back of his throat and bit down firmly on her neck.
Gasping with pleasure, Elena threw her head back and undulated against him, her desire spiking as she felt the hardness of his erection against her leg.
Throwing her leg across his, she straddled him; the friction of his hard muscled thigh rubbing against her throbbing wetness, making her ache to have him inside her.
It was at that point, that Damon decided that getting them both upstairs and to his room was imperative. There was no way he wanted their first time to be on the kitchen floor of the boarding-house, especially when his bed was only a short vampire sprint away.
One minute Elena was riding Damon's leg and wondering if his blood tasted as good as she remembered, then the next thing she knew she was being rushed through the house at a pace; that vampire or not, still made her dizzy.
Falling back on to the softness of what was obviously his bed, her eyes widened with appreciation at the sight before her. His eyes were dilated dark with passion; the startling ring of crystal blue all that remained of the usual azure, causing her stomach to drop and her thighs to clench with arousal as he pinned her to the bed.
Hovering over her on all fours, Damon shivered as tingles of desire and a deep ache of need swept through him. He'd wanted her for so long, wanted this and now that they were finally here, he wanted to take it slow. He wanted to show her just how good they could be together, he needed her to crave him the way he craved her. But before he finally gave in to this thing between them, he had to be certain.
"Elena, are you sure this is what you want? Because if we do this, if you give yourself to me in this way, there is no going back, no changing your mind and running back to my brother. I love you more than my own life, but I won't share you with Stefan."
He studied her face as he waited for her to speak, his heart in his throat, the fear that she might say she'd made a mistake, nearly unbearable.
Her eyes filled with tenderness as she saw the fear in his. Needing to reassure him, she pulled him down for a soft and nearly chaste kiss. Breaking the kiss far too soon for either of their liking, she rolled them so they were lying side by side on his bed; her legs entangled with his and her forearms resting against his chest, her hands cupping his face.
"Damon, I do want this, I want you. I want you more than anything I've ever wanted in my whole life. I'm so in love with you that just being around you, makes me feel like a thirteen year old girl with her first crush." Her eyes were glossy with tears as she stared into his.
"I've loved you for so long, far longer than I wanted to admit and I'm sorry I was so stubborn about my feelings. You were right, I was scared Damon. I loved Stefan, I really did, but what I felt for him was safe. I knew I didn't want to turn for him and I knew if I lost him I'd survive. I also knew I could live without his loss crippling me and it was only confirmed when he left town with Klaus."
Damon reached for her hands and pulled them both to his chest. His attention still on her face, he kissed the back of both and gave them a comforting squeeze.
Lowering her eyes, she swallowed the lump of emotion that his tender gesture had unwittingly caused and once again fought back the desire to break down, her thoughts returning to how close she'd come to losing him tonight.
"And yes I admit I was desperate to get him back, but a big part of that desperation was my fear of losing someone else, well that combined with a whole lot of guilt. I knew that you wanted your brother back, that you were hurting because he'd left to save you and the only reason he had to save you at all, was because of my being the doppelganger."
She raised her eyes and met his. The solemn expression on her face made Damon want to shush her and tell her that none of this mattered. That he didn't care how she'd felt before; because she loved him now and that was what was important . Instead, he kept quiet and let her speak, understanding instinctively, that this was something she felt she had to say.
"But Damon, there was another reason I wanted him to come home; one I refused to even think about, because if I let those thoughts in for even a moment it might have changed everything . The whole time Stefan was gone, I deliberately clung to my feelings for him. I was so scared that if I'd stopped to really examine the reasons I felt guilty, It would have meant thinking about you and the way you made me feel and that was definitely anything but safe."
She bit her lip, her eyes resting on his mouth.
"I've got a confession to make and you can't get mad about it okay?"
Damon nodded, his expression calm; while internally he was listing all the things that she could possibly say that would require him keeping his temper. He didn't get very far, her shy apologetic smile and the second sweet kiss she gave him, temporarily derailing his thought processes.
"Okay here goes." she took a deep breath.
"You were right, back then, when you said we had something, some sort of connection. It was there right from the start, from that first night we met on the road. And it didn't go away, even after you compelled me."Her expression was wistful as she continued.
"But it was in Georgia, when you were being a different you that it really hit me for the first time and to be honest Damon, it scared the crap out of me. I had just found out about Katherine and there you were, being all night in tarnished armour, saving me and dragging me off to have fun against my will. To say it confused the hell out of me would be an understatement." Her lips curved in a subconscious smile at his puzzled expression.
"God Damon, so much had happened in such a short amount of time. Spending the night with Stefan, only to find out I was a dead ringer for his first love, then you saving me from the wreck that was caused by some mystery vamp. And if that wasn't enough to deal with, less than eight hours later, I found myself sitting in some grungy bar, staring at your mouth and wondering if your lips were as soft as they looked and how the spilled tequila would taste, if I had the guts to find out."
Damon smirked as he remembered. Her actions that night taking on a whole new meaning with her words.
Apparently, even after a century and a half of life I can still be as clueless as the next guy.
"All of a sudden, you weren't just Stefan's evil older brother; you were this sexy dangerous guy, that was fun and weirdly sweet as well. It was like I'd never seen you before and you were so different with me that night, that it made me act differently as well. It was probably the only time I let myself admit how hot you are and how much I was attracted to you... and it was so much more intense than anything I'd felt around any other guy... even Stefan."
Damon could feel himself smiling at her words, a strange tender warmth welling up inside, as he studied her flushed cheeks and shy glance. With her next words his smile threatened to become a leer and he had to bite the inside of his cheeks, to hide his pleased reaction as she ducked her head and avoided his gaze.
"I felt like such a ho." she confessed "One look from you, had me wanting you in ways that still make me blush when I think about it. What I felt... That side of you, it scared me so much, that when Lexis's boyfriend turned up and nearly killed you, I told myself my attraction to you was because of the alcohol and being mad at Stefan. But the fact you were an asshole wasn't the real reason."
Damon shot her a look, but she either didn't see it or ignored it, forging on, obviously determined to get it all out.
"It was me, knowing you were an asshole and still feeling that attraction, that had me running scared. I wasn't ready to admit to that part of myself, or to let myself see that there was more to you than just the evil vampire. If I'd admitted to the attraction for even a moment, I might have had to face how you made me feel other things, things that I didn't want to feel. And if I could feel that way about you when I didn't even like you...well to be honest, it scared me to think how I'd feel if I really did start to see you differently. So I shoved it to the back of my mind and convinced myself it never happened. "
She sighed and studied him from beneath lowered lashes, suddenly ashamed that it had taken her so long to admit what she'd felt on that long ago night in Georgia. She found herself desperately hoping that he would understand and except the reasons for her denial and her deliberate rejection of those feelings.
"When we got back, I told myself Stefan was the only one I wanted and denied I'd even entertained the thought of you in any other way. But that connection between us? That connection was still there no matter how hard I tried to deny it, to you and to myself. The night Stefan left to save you... when you were dying in that bed, that was one of the worst night's of my life, in so many ways."
Her mouth tightened in recollection, as she tried to put into words something that she'd never even admitted to herself.
"You have to understand, when my parents died in the crash, I blamed myself for their deaths. They would never have died if I had been a better daughter, if I hadn't been out partying that night, if I hadn't had that fight with Matt. And at the same time, it just hurt so much to lose them. I pushed everyone away, even Jeremy and I think something in me decided that I never wanted to feel that way again. Love hurt too much when you lost the people you love and I never wanted to feel that much pain again." she sighed as she thought back to that awful period of her life.
"I blamed myself for not caring enough about Matt to have stayed to talk with him that night and I became determined to be a better person, a less selfish person. Don't you see, Stefan seemed like an answer to my prayers, he made me feel safe and I loved him more than I'd loved Matt, but not so much that It would kill me to lose him. He made me want to be a better person, because he was fighting against his nature every day and I needed that. I needed to feel like I wasn't that same girl that had gotten her parents killed and Stefan never knew the old Elena, so it was easy to be someone new with him. Then you got bitten by Tyler and everything I'd told myself I felt fell apart." she admitted with a shamefaced grimace.
"I was supposed to hate you, or at least be indifferent to you and yet I felt like my heart was dying with you, that night. And I didn't want to feel like that, not for anyone Damon, not ever again. So when you survived and Stefan disappeared with Klaus, I shoved my walls back up and I convinced myself that Stefan was all that mattered, that I only cared about you because you were his brother."
She raised head and met his eyes.
"There's always been more between us, but I ran away from it. I didn't want to see the good in you, or how everything you did was because of the way you felt about me. I couldn't risk it, I couldn't risk feeling that way about anyone and especially not someone that made me feel the way you did." she admitted her expression anguished.
"I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry I put you through all the crap and I'm really sorry I lied... to you, myself, Stefan, to everybody. And I hope that you still want me, even though I'm probably still messed up and have all these new vampire emotions that make me even more nuts than usual. I just wanted you to know, that I love you Damon and whether we have a future together, that's your decision and no matter what you decide I'll do my best to respect it. Just please... I need to know if you can still love me after everything ."
Elena held both his gaze and her breath, as she waited for Damon to speak.
Smiling internally, Damon pretended to think about it for a moment. In truth she hadn't said anything he didn't already know. He had been alive for the better part of two centuries and Elena's face and body language was far easier to read than most. It was nice though, to have her admit all the things that he'd known, well except for the whole wanting him in Georgia thing, that one he'd pretty much missed. Though to be fair he hadn't known her all that well back then, so it wasn't surprising that he'd put her behaviour down to her anger with Stefan. Anyway, none of that mattered anymore, all that mattered was that they were both finally on the same page. That she loved him and he loved her and now they both knew it.
The worried look in her eyes decided him.
"You know something Miss Gilbert? I think you should just shut up and kiss me. After all, you payed a sinful amount of money for my company, I'd hate to think you didn't get your values worth. And I do have a certain reputation to uphold and protect." He smirked and pulled her against his body. His gaze softening as he took in her widening smile.
"I love you Elena. Now, no more talking, okay. You put your money where your mouth is... Now it's my turn."
And as Damon's lips closed over hers and his hands roamed across her body, it occurred to Elena, that even if Jeremy did kill her when he discovered his missing cash, she honestly couldn't find it in herself to care.
As far as she was concerned, it was the best money she'd ever spent.
The End