Booth and Brennan walked over to the crime scene that was fenced off, Booth groaned looking at the NCIS sedan parked there.
"What's wrong Booth?"
"NCIS is here, the FBI hates them."
"Why do they hate them?"
"They just take over everything and do it their way."
"Don't the FBI do that as well?" asked a puzzled Bones. Booth sighed, "What?! It's true."
"Let's just get to the body then we'll work on cooperation, ok Bones?"
"Fine with me."
Bones and Booth approached the scene to find an angry looking, foreign woman whispering into a geeky man's ear. The expression on the man's face told them that he was very scared. Another man, a little older then the other two, but quite good looking came over to them.
"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo NCIS, but you can call me Tony" he said holding out his badge.
"Special Agent Seeley Booth FBI, and this is my partner…"
"Dr Temperance Brennan of the Jeffersonian, what's the matter with that woman over there?"
"Oh, that's Ziva, my partner, she's a little upset about some photos I took of her in LA, and McGeek there didn't delete them. Don't worry though, I made hard copies, wanna see?"
"Sure" Booth shrugged
Tony pulled out the three photos of Ziva from LA and gives them to Booth and Brennan. Brennan looks shocked.
"No wonder she is angry, these are extremely sexist photos that promote her as an object for men to google over, instead of her as a woman."
"Ogle, not google." Booth and Tony say simultaneously.
Booth looks at Tony questionably.
"Ziva got that wrong in LA too, she always mixes up her idioms, her excuse is english is a stupid language."
"Why does she think English is stupid?" Bones asked, confused.
"Oh sorry, forgot you're new, she's a liaison officer with NCIS from Mossad."
"Mossad, so she's Israeli. I thought she looked eastern European." commented Bones.
Ziva and McGee walk over, looking oddly at the newcomers.
"Tony, who are these people?" Ziva exclaimed.
"Special Agent Booth FBI and this is Dr Brennan, my partner."
"Well you obviously you know my annoying (glares at Tony) partner Tony, I am Officer Ziva David" she said holding out her hand.
Booth and Bones shake her hand.
"And I'm Special Agent Timothy McGee, Gibbs is on his way. Dr Brennan, what kind of doctor are you?"
"I'm an anthropologist., I study bones and determine cause of death."
"So you're like our Duckman." Said Tony, a little excited.
"Duckman?" Booth and Bones asked very confused.
"Oh, Ducky is our medical examiner," explained Ziva, "his real name is Dr Donald Mallard, and let's just say he has many stories."
"Oh, "
"Do you have any squints?"
"Squints? Tony is an idiom of some sort?" Ziva asked confused.
"Don't ask me, I've never heard of it either," Tony replied.
"Squints, you know, people who talk geeky and squint through microscopes all day, squints!"
"Like McGee?"
"Tony, don't be mean to McGee, he's more of a computer turd."
"What?!" Bones and Booth shocked.
"Nerd, Ziva."
"Whatever, I think he means Abby anyway."
"Oh Abby, you'll love Abby," said Tony smiling.
"I don't usually like squints."
"Well everyone loves Abby, even Ziva here, eventually…"
Ziva walks over to Tony and stands right in front of him. She pulls a pink paperclip out of her pocket and starts bending it in Tony's face.
"You sure you want to talk about that now Tony? I thought you liked being alive?"
"A pink paperclip, seriously can't I have a little dignity."
"Well maybe, but it is a lot of fun emasculating you."
"You never emasculate me Zeehvah."
Ziva laughs a little, then looks seriously pointing the paperclip up to his throat. Bones and Booth watch a little shocked. Gibbs comes up behind Tony and gibbs-slaps him.
"DiNozzo, stop annoying your partner."
Tony turns to face Gibbs who is walking.
"But boss, she was trying to kill me, and it's not the first time either."
Gibbs calls back "David, stop trying to murder your partner, I'll tell you if I need to get rid of him."
Gibbs turns around
"Are you just going to stand there or come and investigate this crime scene?"
Ziva, McGee and Tony, run after Gibbs, Bones and Booth look at each other confused follow. Ducky is watching some people pulling a car out of a lake with a tow truck. Bones walks up to Ducky who is looking at the body and Palmer is standing next to him.
"Mr Palmer, could you please go and get the gurney."
"Yes Doctor."
Palmer runs off to van.
"Oh hello, you must be Dr Brennan. I'm Dr Mallard, but please call me Ducky, I'm sure my boy Anthony has told you all about me."
"A little," Bones leans over body, "Male, Caucasian, late 20's to early 30's, time of death approximately 3- 5 days ago, no sign of external bone damage, but we'll be able to observe closer back at the Jeffersonian."
"Very good, Dr Brennan I was told you were the best. We'll send the remains to the Jeffersonian and we'll give other evidence to Abigail, she'll be happy with that."
"Um, would it be alright if took the evidence to the Jeffersonian, it would be easier for the case."
"You can try and convince Gibbs, but he is very stubborn."
"Thanks."
Bones walks off in search of Booth
*********************MEANWHILE***********************
Gibbs walking through to crime scene with McGee, Ziva and Tony on tail.
"McGee, sketch. Ziva, bag and tag. DiNozzo, shoot."
They scatter of and Booth steps forward in front of Gibbs.
"Who the heck are you?"
"Special Agent Seeley Booth FBI."
"Geez, when did the FBI get involved with marine cases."
"It may not be a marine case, so we're taking the remains to the Jeffersonian to examine."
"We're keeping evidence."
Gibbs walks off and Booth goes over to Ziva and Tony who are arguing.
"Tony! Stop looking down my top."
"It's kind of hard not to ziva, not that there's much to see anyway."
"What did you say DiNozzo?
Ziva pulls out a knife from her waist.
"Nothing."
"Well, it better stay that way unless you want to say goodbye to your 'family jewels'"
Tony gulps as Ziva waves a knife in his face the knees him in the groin. He groans as he keels over. Booth looks confused and walks over to McGee.
"Are those two always like that?'
"Like what?" looks up from sketch pad.
"The thing between them."
"Unresolved sexual tension?"
"Yeah."
"Unfortunately yes, but they won't admit it, they literally bit my head off when I wrote a book based on the team, with observations as the key factor."
"You wrote a book?"
"Yeah, you heard of Deep Six?"
"Yeah, but I haven't read it."
"Well if you want to know about the team more I suggest you read it."
"Ok."
Gibbs walks through.
"When you two are finished playing grab ass, you're going to the Jeffersonian with those two" pointing to Booth and Brennan (who is approaching).
"Yes Boss," Ziva and Tony say simultaneously.
They start heading towards the van which Palmer just finished packing up. Tony and Ziva race to the driver side where Ziva gets there first. She is already sitting in the driver seat by the time Bones and Booth arrive and Tony is whining.
"You guys have to stop her driving."
"I don't mind if she drives," Bones remarked.
"Then it's settled, I'm driving. Get in you two."
As soon as they get in they see Tony making the sign of the cross over and over again.
"What are you doing?" quizzed Booth.
"Praying I don't die."
"You are such a little girl Tony, you make a fuss over the littlest things. You two ready to go?"
"Yeah," Booth and Bones answer.
Ziva hits the accelerator hard and they all cling to the side of the car for life.
"I warned you!" gasped Tony as the almost hit a road train on the highway.
