A chilling wave of frost nipped at your nose and gloveless fingers as you slowly wandered around the snow-filled park which was close by the academy that you only had half a year left to attend. The cold didn't bother you too much, as you had grown used to like the way it felt on your skin and the numbing pain it gave, which was nothing compared to how you felt on the inside. What bothered you the most was that you just realized - during Christmas vacation - that you hadn't achieved any impressive goals over your 'highly anticipated' high school years.
It made you feel frustrated and seriously lonely when you kept getting reminded by your now former friends how exciting and good their years have been. How the people in your academy felt happy and proud... how strangers you passed by every day on your way home were smiling and minding their own business... how your parents managed to achieve their goals and were "proud" of you and your grades, yet they knew nothing of what was going on inside your head.
Not to mention, how utterly lonely and awkward you felt towards some amazing person you liked, but never had the courage or chance to tell them how you felt. It was devastating to even consider that the two and a half years you spent on this academy, were potentially a waste of time.
You let out a silent long sigh as you looked down at the time on your phone, surprised that it had already gotten that late just by staying late at school than usual, and enjoying the peaceful scenery in your favorite park as random people strolled along the pathway once in a while. It was late, but if you hurried, you were sure that you could still catch the first late-shift buss home without any problems.
That was of course not the case. Not only did you assume the buss would arrive at the wrong time, but the schedule of the buss arriving this late in the evening was even worse. It had a gap of arrival at 'every 40 minutes'. Not that it mattered though, since you had your beloved phone and earplugs with you. Music always made time speed by so quickly. The only thing that you still had to fight though was the harsh night-time cold which only got worse and worse the longer you sat there huddled in your warmest scarf wrapped around your neck along with a fur-hooded parkas and your cold hands which were tucked away in your pockets.
One thing was positive as you sat there waiting and stared into the horizon as the sun slowly began to set, and the clock was getting close to five-something, it was how you were starting to adapt to the cold. It was slowly starting to feel like it was room-temperature while the instrumental music in your ears seemed to soothe your body, making you tired and close to falling asleep. You even risked closing your eyes, hoping that you wouldn't miss the buss. It was just too peaceful not to, and the stress you felt lingering in your body from last year, seemed to seep away as your breath became calm and drowsy the longer your eyes were shut.
At this point you had no idea how long you actually had your eyes closed for, but you knew that at least one and a half song had played by until you started to feel something bothersome poke your body. You stubbornly shrugged it off, figuring that it was only the wind biting at your skin, but when the poking became more annoying and frequent, you decided to slowly open your eyes to see what was bothering you so much. You let out a faint groan as you forced yourself to blink a couple of times to let your eyes adjust to your lifeless surroundings. However the last thing you'd ever expected to see, just inches away from your face, gazing down at you with an intense gaze and broad body which almost blocked the whole view of the outside world, was another person's face.
"Ah-!" A loud voice screamed.
You flinched and yelped as you tried to back away from the person towering over you, but it of course failed since you were already sitting on the bench inside the bus-stop, having the old wooden wall become harder than it already felt against your back. Thankfully the person in front of you backed away, startled the moment you panicked, but a big smile was quickly plastered on his face when your facial features calmed down and softened.
Only then did you notice that the person in front of you were none other than the famous horned owl you admired and liked, Bokuto Koutarou.
Even though your face softened, your subconscious and beating heart didn't. You struggled to keep your blush at bay, thankfully though, it was conveniently hidden behind your scarf. You also found it unfair how carefree and comfortable he was around people, especially now that he was alone with you.
The way someone as loud, happy, encouraging, silly, caring and busy as Bokuto took notice of you, always seemed to baffle you. In a good way of course. If it wasn't for him being in your class all these three years, you couldn't start to imagine how different your high school life would have been. It wasn't like the two of you were the best of friends, but it was how he had the courage enough to be brave and take the initiative to interact with an awkward mess like you.
It was tough starting at Fukurodani Academy. You had a few mutual friends from middle school who were attending at this academy, but it wasn't like you talked to them as much as you did with your other, more distant, childhood friends. They attended other schools because of various reasons. Even so, the concept of you having to 'survive' alone for the first time in forever, was a scary reality you had to struggle through.
Since you knew none in your class, you instantly put away the thought of ever trying to communicate with another human being. You were way too nervous to start or even engage with other people who were much more confident, excited, and in general, chattier than you. So getting a friend or getting comfortable in class failed miserably as early as ten days in the first month of your first year going to high school.
Everyone quickly found out that you suffered from being 'socially awkward', as it is commonly known as, and because of that, you got used to being the last one picked in gym, group activities/projects and teased extremely by almost everyone who apparently had nothing better to do with their lives.
The reason why it was 'almost everyone' was because there was a boy who was as loud and dorky as one could be by the age of 16. He apparently showed no sign of being mature at all, so he quickly got declared as the class' clown and, of course over time, the captain of a proud volleyball club which made the school be considered as a 'powerhouse' high school of volleyball. This boy who brimmed with ambition and enthusiasm decided for some reason that he wanted to get to know you better.
You didn't say no to his proposal, but you were very skeptical if he genuinely wanted to know you better or if he wanted to know you for bad intentions. But the way his gaze never left yours and his smile which never wavered whenever he talked or listened to you, made you instantly forget the harsh thoughts floating around in your head.
- Two and a half years ago, 1st grade -
"Hey there!"
Silence.
"Heeelloo~!"
You jolted back into reality and got startled when a hand waved in front of your hazy field of vision along with a loud voice filling your ears. A boy with energy and observant eyes, stared at you with joy. You cringed mentally by the sight of him. He was nothing like you were, he looked nothing like you did, and the worst thing of all, he for some reason thought talking to you was a good idea.
"Hey there, I'm Bokuto Koutarou! Just Bokuto is fine." He said with a proud and gruff voice. A voice which was an unique trait everyone quickly got used to and knew that it was Bokuto's voice without ever needing to see if it really belonged to him or not.
You stared silently at Bokuto, tilting your head as you still didn't understand why he was sitting in front of your desk. The longer you stared, the longer you observed Bokuto's distinct features. His white-gray hair with black stripes were shaped upwards like a wild mess, along with his wide - yet sharp - yellow eyes which reminded you too much of an owl. A great horned owl which was way too energetic for his own good.
"H-hi. I'm... (l/n) (f/n)... B-but you already... knew that... probably." You managed to barely mumble out. The instant you were done and saw the smile on the boy's face grow into a smirk, your body sinked ever so slightly with both of your hands quickly cowering your face in embarrassment. You knew you had just messed up, and there was nothing you could do but wait.
But there was nothing.
You peeked up and watched Bokuto in between your fingers. He sat there patiently, his smile still present on his face. You let out a silent sigh and placed your hands like they covered your lips and parts of your cheeks. "You can... laugh... you know..." You mumbled with a dejected voice.
"Hm?" Now he was tilting his head in confusion. "Why would I laugh?"
You took an extra good look at him. Was he serious? You weren't too sure if he was messing around with you or just dumb.
You just shook your head, motioning for him to just forget about it.
A~nyway! It's nice to meet ya' (l/n)!" Bokuto said with his loudest voice and biggest grin... but it didn't turn out so well for the people surrounding you two. Soon the whole class were starting to whisper and mumble to each other, saying mean things about you, wondering why Bokuto bothered to talk with someone like you. It hurt. Your mood quickly darkened as your trembling hands fell down on your desk, along with your eyelids becoming so heavy that you only managed to look down with a blank stare.
Words of hate spread quickly to your ears from every corner. You hated it, you feared it, and you had no idea how to stop it. You felt useless alone. You struggled to stand on your own, as you were too dependent on your middle school friends who never had the chance to properly teach you how to stay strong during long periods of time alone. It felt annoying, it felt -
"Are they scaring you?"
"Huh?" You blinked and stopped mid-thought when someone's voice filled your ears and muted the sound of your harsh surroundings.
"The people around you. Are they painful to listen to?"
When you decided to muster the strength to see who that translucent voice belonged to, you were surprised when you didn't have to search far. For the owner of the voice was holding his hands over yours and gazed deeply into your (e/c) eyes with his own golden eyes.
"Huh? Ah-! N..no... not rea-" You mumbled with a blush and quickly pulled your hand away from his out of embarrassment.
You felt that your voice got weaker and weaker the longer he stared at you and the voices around the two of you became heavier. It was starting to give you a headache, quickly followed by a taunting fever. You let out an exhausted sigh and closed your eyes in pain when you forced the palm of your hand up to your forehead. It still hurt.
Before you could even anticipate it, someone's tongue clicked in anger and scraped their hands along your desk as the same person let out a loud sigh and quickly got up from his seat.
"Oi!" Bokuto turned around and raised his voice so everyone in the classroom could hear him. Everyone who were talking with each other, even startling some, decided to pay attention to him.
"I won't let anyone bother (l/n) anymore! Those who got nothing better to do and dares making her days miserable, will answer to me!" Bokuto shouted with a voice filled with mass amounts of strength and confidence, followed with a deadly glare, making everyone, even you, gape in surprise by his sudden serious attitude. "Got it!?" Bokuto huffed after his last bit of threatening words.
There was a growing silence for a good second or so, until Bokuto began which scanning the room with his intense glare at his classmates, whose barely managed to let their voices out for him to hear.
"Ah, sure.../Alright/Ok/I guess..."
Bokuto smiled and swiftly turned around to look at you when everyone had managed to reluctantly agree, to only get surprised when he saw you smiling shyly by his doing. His happiness grew when he knew that his work was officially a success.
"Oi, Bokuto..." A strange boy with black hair and stoic eyes crept slowly beside Bokuto. You only assumed that it was one of his many friends.
"Hm?" Bokuto mumbled as he turned around and stared down at the other male in front of him. It was scary how his height dominated as a first year.
"Are you sure you did the right thing? You know that people are going to start mocking you too, right?"
"I don't care." Bokuto replied.
"But-" His friend tried, but got cut off before anything could be said.
"I've gotten used to it since fooreeever~. There's no way I'll be scared of it now." Bokuto mused, but kept his face serious toward the end.
"Then why are you doing it?" The other male asked confused.
"Because clearly none else wants to do it." Bokuto simply said.
"Geh. Really...?" His friend was in disbelief of how thickheaded Bokuto was.
You lowered your head in guilt once you heard that... but his next words made you revert back.
"Besides... I think she's pretty interesting compared to everyone else in here."
It was at this point and onward that made you realize what kind of person Bokuto represented himself to be and who he actually was as a friend. He talked and poked you more and more whenever there was something interesting to say, whenever he saw you all alone, or whenever you were too nervous to stand up for yourself. The way he easily managed to lift up the hidden fear in your heart and throw it to the side, was something you never could have dreamed to happen in your entire life.
But because of how shy and dependent you were around Bokuto, mixed with awkwardness, he always managed to magically dispel the awkward curse the longer your spontaneous conversations lasted. In the end though, you never managed to confess your true feelings and utter the three big words which burned your tongue whenever you tried saying them completely alone.
'I love you'
- Now -
"Hey, (y/n)! Fancy seein' you here. You alright?" Bokuto asked with a playful smile as his round yellow eyes shined excited in the dark.
"H-hi, Bokuto. I-I'm fine. And you?" You stuttered with a whisper and nervously averted your (e/c) eyes away from his golden ones.
"Ughhh~! I'm soooo tired!" He exclaimed and started to express himself in an exaggerating matter with his over-the-top body language which you had grown fond of. You found it to be an adorable trait the wild boy possessed. "Practice was really harsh today. The coach had us do all sorts of crazy individual training, which led us to only have 30 minutes left to play a game of volleyball." He complained with furrowed brows as his hands were pointing and waving while he was talking.
"Also my team teased me and ignored my orders as a captain and everything! Gah! It was so annoying, and-~"
You only nodded and smiled as you listened. You didn't mind listening to his troubles and random topics, as that was how most of your conversations went anyway.
"(y/n)!" Bokuto exclaimed and stared down at you with a slight pout, totally startling you by his loud voice. You only tilted your head.
"You know I'll go on forever and ever if ya' don't stop me. I just appeared so suddenly, disturbing your sleep and everything..." He complained.
"N-no that was just..!" You tried, feeling embarrassed once again since you had managed to completely forget about that in the first place, but Bokuto was quick to continue again.
"It's not fun listening to me all the time, I realize that." He stated, giving you a thoughtful look. "I wanna hear what you have to say as well."
"Ah, well..." You weren't too sure what to say, and the impatient, yet curious stare stance emitting from Bokuto didn't help your brain process the words any faster. He knew fully well that this was one of your weak points. "I-I... don't have much to say..."
"That's not tru-!"
"Besides... I don't mind listening... t-to what you have to say. I like listening to your voice." You smiled as you stared up at him, but his slightly stunned face made you realize that you had just said something completely awkward out loud. "Ah! No, I mean-" You shifted your eyes away from him in panic and tried to find the right words while being all flustered.
"I got it." You looked up at his reassuring face as he had his hand on top of your head, lightly petting you. "I know what you mean. I'll just keep on talking then." He said with a grin and removed his hand.
"Ah, by the way..." Bokuto fumbled with his hand in his jacket's pocket and took up his phone to look at the time, to then show you. "What are you doing here so late? I thought you'd be home by now. So I was really surprised to see you waiting here."
"I guess..." You weren't too sure what to tell him. You had been doing this for a while, since November actually, and now that it was close to being February, you had just gotten used to it and enjoyed how it distracted you from your constant stress and depression that you were dealing with.
"I didn't feel like going home early today." You lied. It was better this way, you thought. Because this was the first time you had ever met up with Bokuto while waiting for the buss at this exact time.
"Why?" He asked.
"Why...?" You repeated his question with a whisper, but an explanation was never heard vocally. Your face only saddened in the darkness.
"Anyway," Bokuto seemed to thankfully understand your choice of silence. "I'm glad that you're here regardless of your reason." He said, giving you a smile.
You looked up at him. "Y-you are?"
"Yeah." He started, letting out a sigh as he stared up at the sky for a moment to reminiscence. "I'm so used to going home alone all these years since no one in the club ever takes this buss. I've honestly gotten very tired of it." He continued, then looked down at you once again. "It's nice to get a change of scenery for once, you know what I mean?"
"Y-yeah, I understand." You answered him, completely understanding how repetitive and boring it must be going home, seeing the exact same things everyday, to now have something else and new to distract himself with. Wait a minute...
You stared up at him for a good moment, before your thought process got the best of you and your cheeks turned red.
"Uhm... Is there something on my face?..." Bokuto wondered, backing awkwardly away with your wide eyes. You had to blink and shake your head before you managed to pull yourself together.
"A-ah, no! Nothing! It was... nothing..." You panicked, forcing yourself to act normal and mumble embarrassed towards the end of your sentence.
"If you say so." Bokuto hummed, believing you.
A few more minutes passed as the two of you were waiting for the buss to arrive. Because of your awfully long journey home, Bokuto suggested that the two of you should sit in the back. You didn't think twice about that suggestion, as that was where you would normally sit anyway to avoid strangers who arrived on the buss. It was a long journey home, almost thirty minutes, so you were urging to sit close to the window and watch the dark fields and occasionally lit buildings pass by in the dark. But what you had forgotten was that you now felt another person sit beside you, Bokuto, who looked exhausted from practice, yet looked pumped to be able to ride home with you.
"(Y/n). Do you take this buss often?" Bokuto asked, making you turn your attention from the window to him.
"Yeah. All the time."
"What! Really!?" Bokuto looked at you surprised. You couldn't help but back slightly away when he suddenly stood up, towering over your body with his superior height. He sat down when he noticed your awkward position. "Why have you never told me this before?"
"Because you never asked." You answered him simply.
"Hah... I see." He murmured, looking away.
You noticed a strange tone of voice coming from Bokuto, one which you were not used to. You were surprised to see a silent sad smile plastered on his face. You didn't completely understand why he would be sad after hearing that though. You were right by your words, since he never asked you. Did you maybe chose the wrong words to say? You weren't too sure with the weird personality you possessed in the first place.
You shook your head and insisted on asking him a question instead, "Why do you look so... upset?"
Bokuto blinked. Probably not realizing that you would catch his change of mood that easily. He then smiled and let out a faint sigh, knowing that it was no wonder that you found out, since he was the most energetic person that you knew.
"I'm upset because I just now got to know this. After almost three years... you actually take the same buss as me home." Bokuto murmured and looked down at his fiddling hands in front of him.
You looked down at his hands, feeling slightly guilty that he was capable of feeling upset over something as small as this. "Sorry." Was all you managed to say.
"Ah, no! Don't apologize!" he flailed with his arms, making your eyes snap up at his face. "It's ok! Don't worry! At least I know now, right!?"
"I guess." You murmured.
"Besides... it would be fun going home together more often, wouldn't it?"
You blushed by the way he could say that so easily, and with a straight face none the less. You wondered how dense this guy truly were. It was a mystery since he probably assumed it was fine to ask his friend, such a question. You didn't fully blame him for that, only a bit, because of your annoying subconsciousness.
"Yeah, it would." You smiled while staring down at your hands as you answered him.
He smiled back and saw by the corner of your eyes the way he happily observed your shy behavior.
As the long road ahead continued with endless chatter from Bokuto and rare answers and opinions emitting from your mouth once in a while, it all halted to an abrupt end when Bokuto fixed his gaze outside and clicked the stop button which he had to stretch out to to reach from where he was sitting.
"I'm getting off soon." He said after acknowledging the look in your eyes.
"Oh." You nodded. "Me too."
"Huh, really!?" Bokuto raised his brows in surprise.
You only smiled and nodded once again.
"Man..." He sighed and got up on his feet, you followed his lead quickly after. "You're full of surprises today." He looked back at you.
"Well... you never asked." You teased.
"That statement again." He huffed annoyed with a smile on his face.
As the buss was about to turn into the stop, the two of you waited patiently for the buss to stop and open its' back door. With Bokuto getting off first, you watched closely how easily he climbed down the stairs and landed firmly on the mucky and slippery snow under his boots. He then walked a little forward and waited patiently for you to get off. You took a deep breathe and aimed to jump and land on the snow-covered pavement which was just barely visible under all the wet snow - the one spot you always aimed for. Since the buss was parked a little farther away from the sidewalk, it was always a struggle to get the landing just right, and since you had been doing it so many times already, you felt like you had mastered it.
However once you hit the ground with one of your feet, and was about land with your second, you panicked when you felt that you were struggling to get a good grip on your first step. You realized that you were starting to fall backwards into the buss that was in a hurry making its' way to its' next destination. You let out a distressed yelp, and just as you were sure that you would fall into the mucky snow, you suddenly felt yourself being stopped in mid-air. Your frightened eyes widen when you saw Bokuto's worried face and his hand grabbing yours with a tight grip.
"Woah! That was a close one!" He said and pulled you easily up so that you were properly standing up on your feet again. "You're as clumsy as alwa- Huh?" Without realizing how incredibly close you were against his chest, the male froze up exactly the same way you were currently locked up, being unable to react or talk.
Your head was inches away from the nape of his neck, and felt how his own warm breath was tickling against your cold skin that was still exposed to the cold winter. Even though Bokuto was cowered with winter clothes, just like you, you could still feel the warmth and comfort his reassuring aura emitted into your own body. But it was probably just going all up in your head, because after all, you currently looked like a flustered pile of mess in front of the only person that you have ever liked.
Bokuto roughly pulled you away from him by your shoulders, breaking your trance from your little moment together, and surprisingly had a small hint of red coloring his ears and cheeks.
"Ahh! Sorry! Sorry! I didn't know that-!"
"Ah, no. I-It's fine. Really." You mumbled, still looking flustered, and waved with both of your hands in front of your face to try and hide it.
"Ehem." Bokuto cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.
"My house is just a few blocks away, so I'm going up here." He said, changing the topic, and pointed in the direction behind the bus-stop with dimly lighted houses in the background. "What about you?"
"I'm going this way." You pointed in the opposite direction of his, leading in the same direction as where the buss originally drove off to.
"I see." He approved with a nod. "Ah! Do you want me to walk you home, or are you fine by yourself?" He suddenly asked, an eager look was present on his face.
"I-I'm fine by myself." You mumbled a little too quickly for your own liking, but it seemed like he understood what you said.
"Hmm. You're not letting me be a gentleman at such an opportunity as this either huh?" He teased.
You laughed at his words. It reminded you of the numerous of times he had asked to help you or lead you to different places, but you always turned him down. Which of course, always resulted into the boy getting upset or childish, swearing that he would for sure accompany you 'without any excuses!', as he would say it, next time you were planning to go somewhere.
"Alright! Take care, (y/n)! See ya' tomorrow!" Bokuto said energetically and waved with all his might while grinning, as the two of you were parting ways to go home.
"See you." You smiled and waved timidly back at him, before turning around and getting ready to walk a few lonely minutes alone towards your own house.
With one hand in your pocket, the other was stared silently down at with your lonely (e/c) eyes. With it starting to get cold, you moved the hand in your pocket on to the hand you were originally staring down at. Huh. The effect doesn't feel like same. You tried to intertwine your fingers together, but you felt nothing special about it. You thought back a few moments ago, imagining that the hand belong to Bokuto instead. It didn't even take a second for you to regret your decision as your face suddenly started to feel incredibly hot.
...
"...Fukuro" You mumbled, as the owl continued to stare down at you with interest and cation. It tilted its' head soon after, followed by a sad smile plastered on your face. It saddened you when that white and black striped owl reminded you too much of another owlyou knew all too well.
School had been a full-on lecture day in all kinds of subjects that you just couldn't pay attention to anymore, so instead you decided to just stare out the window and admire the snow-filled wonderland of the outside world. That was how you spotted that majestic great horned owl in the first place. How fitting, since the school was probably called 'Fukurodani' (Owl village) for a reason.
As several more yawns emitted from you and your classmates' mouths, the day slowly moved the time to 15:15, the sacred time which let every student go home or leave for their club activities. You sat still on your chair with your elbow plonked down on the desk in front of you, supporting the heavy weight of your head that still stared out of the window. By the corner of your eyes, you would glance a few looks at the people passing by in the halls, talking about going home together or going to their club activities. You didn't mind the noise since you were used to blocking all of it out, but no matter how hard you tried to mute Bokuto's voice when he bawled enthusiastically about his club and volleyball in general, the effort always resulted into being a failure.
You stole a glance at the black and white haired male who looked ready to bounce his way out of class with two other classmates surrounding him, soon followed by another with raven black hair who peeked his head inside the classroom, urging Bokuto to hurry up. The other boy seemed to be persistent, which only amused you the more annoyed and childish Bokuto got.
"The coach won't be happy if you come late again, Bokuto-san." The raven-headed boy said to the energetic ace, still by his desk.
"Fine, fine. Stop being so persistent, Akaashi." Bokuto grumbled and gave a silly glare at the boy by the door. So he was Akaashi. The one Bokuto mentions a lot to you by name when it came to him talking about volleyball.
Before realizing that you were seemingly staring at Akaashi, the boy suddenly turned his stern gaze to you. You flinched by the way he looked at you. It was nothing like Bokuto's happy and curious stare, it was more like he observed you intensely and looked almost bored and sick of you.
Uncertain of what to do, the only thing which seemed reasonable and not awkward was to give him a small wave with your free hand, which in turn, earned you an approved nod from him. Bokuto tilted his head in confusion when he noticed Akaashi's gaze somewhere else, so it was only natural that Bokuto's curiosity followed the boy's gaze and looked like he was overjoyed when he saw that you were still sitting by your desk, just a few desks from his own.
"(y/n)! You're still here!" Bokuto said as he made his way quickly towards you and put both of his hands on your desk. He looked back at his teammates who were patiently waiting for him to get ready. They had confused looks on their faces, probably wondering what Bokuto wanted with you this time.
"Come and watch me practice today." Bokuto whispered while being carefully leaned down in front of you.
You blinked and slowly backed away since his face was too close for your own comfort. "Why?" You asked him, but the moment you did, you knew that it was the wrong thing to say by the look of his saddened face.
"You're not supposed to say that, (y/n)!" Bokuto whines.
"I'm calling this chapter 'Bokuto gets rejected by the one and only (y/n)-chan'." A third year with brown, ruffled hair peeked up from Bokuto's left side.
"Oya, so this is (y/n)-san. You should stop bothering her with such things, Bokuto-san." Akaashi muttered as he stared down at Bokuto, emerging from his right side.
'Huh?' You looked up at the three boys who were now in front of you, which sucessfully made you feel extremely uncomfortable and anxious. Especially by the fact that they also knew your name without you ever telling them.
Bokuto let out a disdained grunt and ignored the guys beside him to focus back on you. "C'mon, it's Friday and practice ends earlier than usual. Just like last time." Bokuto added, trying to convince you to watch him so the two of you could go home together, just like what happened last week when you accidentally met Bokuto by the bus-stop. It seemed like he really wanted to continue this trend, which you really didn't mind but...
You studied Bokuto's hinting eyes, but then you looked at the two beside Bokuto and two more who were standing by Bokuto's desk, creepily staring at the commotion that was going down in your general direction. "I don't know..." You said with a nervous voice and looked down at your hands that were lying on your desk.
"I'll catch up with you guys in a few," said Bokuto and looked back at the guys beside him, giving them a smile. "So go on ahead of me." He bobbed his head in the direction of the door and was hinting for them to leave.
"Hmm... if you say so..." The brown haired hummed and had a sly expression on his face.
Bokuto waited patiently for his teammates to leave before turning back around to face you.
"You're nervous." That was of course the first thing he would say to you.
You let out a small defeated sigh. There was no use in trying to fool him, considering how observant he was around you.
"I'm not." Still you denied it. Even though he had countless of times told you the same thing over and over again, you couldn't help but selfishly say 'I'm not' just to hear him comfort you. Even if Bokuto knew what you were doing, it seemed like he didn't mind going through the extra effort, since he had never said anything by the lines of: 'but I told you this before'. He wasn't that kind of person, and you liked that about him.
"I don't blame you for being nervous in front a group of guys you don't even know... although they know you... somehow." Bokuto said as he hesitantly looked away and spoke softly towards the end.
You looked at him with a shy smile and was about to ask him, but it seemed like he noticed and quickly began to speak up instead. "(y/n), Stand up!"
"Huh?" You looked up at him startled when you didn't get a chance to stand up on your own. He grabbed a firm hold on your arms and raised you up. You wanted to escape his grasp, especially by the sudden way he was acting, but his grip was strong. Before you knew what was happening you felt yourself getting spun around and pushed toward the classrom's door.
"Bokuto, wha-" You tried asking him, but he was currently busy gathering both of yours stuff in his arms.
"We'll be late if we don't hurry." He smiled as he exited the classroom and made sure that he had picked everything up before pacing quickly to, what you assumed would be, the gymnasium.
"W-wait, Bokuto, I haven't even-" You wanted to retort, but the fact that Bokuto was ignoring your futile efforts made you realize that he wouldn't take no for an answer. No matter how hard you tried. You let out a sigh and jogged up to Bokuto who was a little ways before you in the hallway. He didn't say anything, but the smile on his face didn't lie that he was feeling pleased with himself.
You looked at him curiously, "How do they know know about me anyway?" You asked him, but the moment you did you saw him flinch. He was probably not expecting you to bring up that topic again.
"Hmm... it's funny that you ask about that." Bokuto mumbled and laughed nervously. His face didn't face yours, but he blushed ever so slightly, and was obviously hiding something from you. But just as you thought he was about to tell you, the two of you had already arrived in front of two familiar looking gym doors. You had never once thought that these doors could give you such an intimidating feeling. It was even starting to feel nerve-wracking.
"Go in there and wait for me." Said Bokuto as he balanced his stuff over his shoulder and opened one of the heavy doors. You looked up at him a little starteled, since he suddenly had his arm over you and urged you to enter the gymnasium with a bob of his head and a reassuring smile which towered down at you.
"But..." You halted.
"Hm?" He tilted his head.
"Ohh! (y/n)-chan!"
'Huh?' You turned your head to someone's loud voice and saw the excited and surprised looks of the volleyball boys standing there staring at you. This was way more embarrassing than you could ever had imagined. The fact that Bokuto managed to practically force you into agreeing to the idea of watching him play was unusual of him since he often didn't have time to talk to you whenever he hurried to practice.
"I'll be there in a bit." Bokuto said and released his hold on the door when he made sure you had taken a hold of it yourself, and quickly walked to the boys' locker rooms.
"Ok." You mumbled. "Ah- but what about my... stuff..." But you realized it was too late since the door behind Bokuto had long shut close. Now there was no option for you than to patiently wait out Bokuto's practice.
"What are you doing, still standing by the door and staring at the locker rooms?"
You let out a surprised yelp and turned your attention to the boy standing in front of you. You hadn't even heard him walk up to you since you were too busy being in your own mind, cursing Bokuto for being so spontaneous about bringing you here and literally stealing your stuff so you couldn't leave without his permission. His gaze was stern and never left yours. It almost looked like he was bored with you and your behavior already, but Bokuto always reminded you that he was actually a nice guy, just never felt the need to express himself by putting up different kind of facial expressions.
"A-ah, I... Bokuto.. he..."
"He's changing and told you to wait for him, didn't he?" Akaashi said, almost reading your mind.
You nodded.
"Well, lucky for him... the coach isn't present today, so he'll be able to slack off a little more than usual today... though I'm not sure how he's going to be with you around." Akaashi commented and put a pondering hand up to his chin. Why would he act differently if you were around? You didn't quite understand what Akaashi really meant, but you couldn't help but wonder too.
"Anyway," Akaashi glanced towards his team which were taking a small break, probably waiting for Bokuto to play properly, before looking back at you again. "You can probably sit by the benches where our managers are usually sitting. I doubt they'll mind." He added and pointed towards the bench where two managers sat waving towards you with a smile on both of their faces.
"Ok, I'll do that." You said and dismissed yourself after thanking Akaashi, then walked towards the bench with the two managers.
"Oya, (y/n)-chan! What brings you here?" One of the managers with reddish-brown hair chirped enthusiastically and had a sly smile on her face.
You sat down beside her and let out a sigh before uttering his name, "Bokuto, I guess..."
"Hmm... really?" She murmured and gave a look to the other manager sitting beside her. They only exchanged glances, so you had no idea what they were trying to tell each other, but you knew by their sudden wide smiles that it was probably something about you. You didn't mind too much attention to them though, as you were used to people whispering about you from years of experience.
"Is something the matter, (y/n)-san?" You blinked from your thoughts and looked up at the other cream haired manager.
"Well... I-I don't really understand how... how everyone in the volleyball club knows my name." You mumbled nervously. It was starting to bother you now.
"Oya? Has no one told you?" The red-hair asked slightly surprised.
You shook your head.
She chuckled and bumped into you on purpose, being suddenly a little too close for comfort. "Well, actually ~," She was rubbing against your arm, having a mixed expression of innocence and excitement radiating from within her.
"Bokuto he-"
"Hey, hey, hey!" A distinct voice boomed through the gymnasium, turning everyone's attention to them.
"You're late, Bokuto-san." Akaashi scolded the hyperactive owl, who seemed ready to play volleyball.
Bokuto ignored his friend's comment and looked around confused. "Huh, where is the coach and sensei?" He asked.
"Meeting."
"I see. So practice is going to be even shorter today."
"I guess, but it would be best for us to practice to the intended time since spring tour-"
"AH!" Bokuto exclaimed and pointed in the directing of you and the managers with a shocked look on his face. Akaashi let out a dissatisfied grunt and had a very annoyed look on his face, because Bokuto chose to get distracted and not listen to what the vice captain had to say to him.
"Yukie!" Bokuto shouted and stomped his way towards you and the manager, bearing a sour expression on his face.
The female flinched by the threatening voice which was directed towards her. "A-ah, Kou'-kun ~" She sang his name playfully and tried her best to smile and ignore his oncoming 'stubborness'.
"You better not be telling her any weird things." Bokuto warned as he pointed a finger up to her face.
"Don't worr-"
"She was about to." The other manager butted into their conversation bluntly.
"Suzu-chan!" The red-hair whined because her trusted kouhai just snitched her out.
"I knew it!" Bokuto sighed annoyed. "Don't listen to what the managers have to say about me, alright, (y/n)?" Bokuto turned to look at you and pointed at the two slightly offended girls.
"Okay." You mumbled. There wasn't much else you could say whenever Bokuto got riled up about something.
"But you know, it's pretty rude to not tell her why everyone in here knows about her." Bokuto stiffened. "What a ruuude owl ~." Yukie added.
"I'll tell her later!" Bokuto retorted while being flustered.
"You will?" Yukie inquired.
"When?" You joined.
Bokuto looked dumbfounded at you and couldn't believe that you had joined the manager's cruel way of teasing him (although you had no idea that you were actually teasing him).
"Later, later!" He grumbled loudly and stomped quickly to his teammates, only to be meet by a smack at the back of the his head by Akaashi.
...
It didn't take long for Bokuto to get into the zone. Playing volleyball was one of his best parts of the day, and there was no wonder why. The way he leads his team and brings up the morale, the way he engages in different strategies and attacks, the way he shouts and yells whenever he or someone else does something amazing, the way his face fills with incredibly joy whenever he spikes the ball over the net, shows that he's extremely passionate about the sport.
You smiled as you had your elbow supported down on your knee, supporting the weight of your head in the palm of your hand, and covered your mouth with your fingers. It was satisfying to see what drove Bokuto into being who he was, because volleyball seemed to be an obvious factor. It shaped him into being the loud, excited and energetic dork that he was.
"Bokuto-san!" You heard Akaashi yell out and tossed the ball up to the left, slightly in front of the net. Bokuto, with incredibly speed, almost jumping at the same time Akaashi tossed the ball, lined up the shot in his vision, tightened his muscles so they would give out their maximum power, and spiked the ball straight along the side lines. The smash of the ball roared throughout the gymnasium. You couldn't help but gape in awe at how good Bokuto were as a player. Although you had sometimes managed to sneak peak a few practice matches in the past, you had never seen how he played as a 3rd year.
"Wooo! Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto shouted excited and had a wide grin on his face.
"Man... Bokuto, you're such a beast sometimes... I swear..." One of his teammates complained and teased the third year.
"Then that means you should only try harder!" Bokuto teased, then laughed when the guy shook his head in defeat and kept saying "no way, no way".
"Oi, (y/n)!"
Your attention perked up by the sound of Bokuto's voice.
"Did you see my spike just now? Hey, that was pretty amazing, wasn't it!? It was, huh!?" Bokuto struggled to contain his excitement, but he managed to at least utter the necessary words to ask your opinion about his 'amazing' spike that he was proud to show off.
You laughed at his childish behavior, which you knew he had all along, but you never expected to see it at this kind of level before. His small tint of blush and smile never wavered as he patiently waited for your praise much like a puppy would do. "I saw it. Yo-You've i-improved a lot, Bokuto." You said with a few stutters along the way, but at least you managed to say it loud enough so he could hear it.
"I know right!?" He mouthed happily as his grin widened by your words. At this point you couldn't understand how your inner-self could live with itself, because you swore that your cheeks were getting redder the more time you spent complimenting Bokuto and seeing his innocent reactions all the time. It felt pretty bad to your poor heart.
"One more, one more!" His teammates chanted. As easily as that, Bokuto's mind was back in the game, one last time before he could properly feel satisfied with today's practice.
...
After a good practice period and a well-deserved shower, made Bokuto happy and relaxed when he knew he could spend Friday afternoon together with you. It was a reward he proudly cherished. You could notice it by the way he asked if you were feeling okay, if you wanted to do something or insisted countless of times that he would follow you wherever you wanted to go.
Bokuto let out a loud yawn and stretched his arms over his head, feeling like he didn't do enough of them after practice since he was too eager to be the first one in the showers and rush to accompany you.
"Take me wherever you want. I don't mind!" He said, following you.
You looked up at Bokuto, who meet you with one of his signature smirks and his golden eyes being striking as always, but you couldn't bear to look up at him for more than a second.
"Hm? Something wrong?" He asked while tilting his head and dropped both of his arms to his side.
You didn't answer. It was too embarrassing to admit or even tell him. This was the first time you had ever walked home with Bokuto after one of his crazy long practices, and he would normally be looking like his usual self. Cool and wild from the top of his hair and down to his feet, nothing out of the ordinary, but today had a small twist.
Since Bokuto showered at school, his hair wasn't as wild as it normally looked like. It was fluffy, messy and strains of his hair almost covered his eyes. Although he was wearing a hoodie to keep most of it hidden and dry so he wouldn't catch a cold, it was still unfair how unbelievably much it affected your subconsciousness. 'Just when you didn't expect your crush to become even more attractive.' You thought and sighed.
"I-It's nothing." You mumbled and turned your gaze forward.
Bokuto looked at you skeptical, but dropped it. Instead he kept his mouth shut and obediently walked beside you on the street as the two of you were getting farther away from school. Soon you both entered a familiar park you always went to in the evening. You smiled underneath your scarf and let out a relived sigh. It felt so peaceful being here.
"So this is the park you keep going to, huh?" Bokuto asked as he looked around the place, finding it probably confusing as to how this single park could make you so motivated to go to everyday.
"Yeah." You simply answered.
"Since I'm the one unfamiliar here, why don't you show me around?"
"Well...There's isn't really much to show," You mumbled and looked around for any specific things you thought could be interesting for the captain. "It's more like I just notice small, insignificant things that makes my mind drift away into different thoughts…"
"Hmh… kinda sounds like something you'd enjoy doing." He said thoughtfully. Considering the majority of the time where you would often just observe and not say anything.
"I guess… you're right." You mumbled and looked down at the faint layer of snow in front of you. Even if most of the thinking you were doing in class were negative and boring, it seemed like Bokuto had noticed you brooding here and there.
"Hey," You looked up at his suddenly sharp tone and tilted your head when you saw the light pout on his face. "It doesn't mean it's a bad thing you know!" He said and bumped into you lightly so he could shake some of those negative nerves out of your body.
"I… I suppose you're right." You smiled.
"Aren't I always?" He grinned.
...
"You know what's really annoying, (y/n)?"
You shook your head.
"Well, it's that-~"
It had only been 10 minutes or so since the two of you arrived at the park. You had managed to at least reach the halfway point around the huge pond which was at the center of the park. You could have probably gone a full circle already, but by the slow pace the two of you were casually walking around, it just wasn't worth the effort. You weren't in a hurry anyway.
Even though the two of you had decided to stop a small space away from the lake, now staying underneath some leafless tress covered in snow, Bokuto had never stopped talking. He had a lot on his mind and much to say, but it was mostly just daily life complaints or ramblings about silly things.
You were actually relived that he was someone who could talk continuously, in comparison to you who would quickly run out of topics to talk about in a second. It was refreshing, and you knew there would never be any awkward silences whenever you were with him. Although you liked listening to his voice, there was still something you had to tell him. Something you had forgot saying a long time ago.
"Bokuto."
He shut his mouth and snapped his attention from the view in the distance to your attention-seeking eyes. "Yeah?"
"I want to tell you something… if I can…" You mumbled. You didn't feel confident at all. It was making you nervous and giddy at the same time, but you knew that you had to tell him. It was just a matter of time, and since you had no idea when you'd be able to be alone with Bokuto again, you thought that this moment would have to do.
"Oh, sure! Sure. Of course you can!" He laughed. "Sorry, I just have a lot to say. I can't help it sometimes." He added.
"It's ok." You reassured him and smiled when you saw the way he eased up.
You closed your eyes and took a deep breathe. Bokuto looked at you curiously, completely unaware of the fact that a heap of nervousness was swirling uncontrollably in the depth of your stomach.
"I have never properly said thank you." You said.
"Hm?" He blinked confused. "Thank you for what? Are you leaving already, was it something I did just now, was it—"
"Sh!" You hushed and stopped him with your finger right in front of his face, inches away from his lips which were frozen in motion.
"Thank you for being here and all…" You started, looking hesitantly away from his gaze.
"I've really enjoyed and… liked it." You quietly managed to mumble the last word. Although it wasn't the true word you wanted to say, it was good enough, you thought. He must probably know what you mean.
"Really?" He asked and tilted his head with one of his innocent smiles directed towards you.
"Actually…" He took hold of the hand in front of his lips and grabbed it with both of his hands, making you flinch in response. "I want to say something similar to you." He murmured, his eyes glowing brightly in the dark the more intense he fixated his eyes on you.
"I've been thinking over it for some time too…" He began while you listened quietly, trying to figure out what he was talking about. "I've just never managed to find the perfect timing for it and all… and well…" He scratched the back of his head and turned his gaze away with a hint of blush caressing his cheeks.
"(Y/n)… I lo— Umpf!"
Your face was flushed and your ears were completely blocked out as your body moved on its' own. The moment you figured out what Bokuto was talking about, the slow speed he was talking in, made you realize what he wanted to tell you.
But you couldn't believe it.
You instantly moved both of your hands up to his face and covered his mouth. Bokuto was surprised by your actions and stumbled back a bit by your sudden force against him.
"A-are y-you crazy! D-don't say it!" You uttered out, still in a daze and feeling slightly light-headed.
Bokuto was silent for a moment before he took a hold of your hands and pushed them gently away from his mouth.
"But I want to say it..." He mumbled with puppy-filled eyes, slowly inching closer to you.
"Wha-" You quickly pulled your hand away from him, but he predicted your actions and held them firmly in his grip, still inching closer.
It seemed like you had very little choice in the matter. You slowly walked backwards, while he slowly walked towards you. The situation seemed calm from someone else's perspective, but from yours it was a completely different story. You could feel the way your heart began to beat faster and faster by his approaching pace and his lustful gaze locked with your eyes, along with a never-ending blush dyeing your face red. He was so close.
"S-stop." You breathed quietly while nervously having your eyes closed, preparing yourself to be kissed, but there was nothing.
Slowly you lifted your eyelids up and saw an unfamiliar look on Bokuto's face. His expression was mixed with pain and disappointment. You didn't understand why he looked like that. Instead of closing in, he had backed away, keeping a distance from your face, while his grip around you were still strong. However his face was turned away from yours.
"Are you scared of me, (y/n)?" Bokuto finally asked with a low voice. The thick silence between you two was almost suffocating.
"Huh?" You couldn't believe what he was asking you. Scared? Were you? You have never been scared of Bokuto, but you most certainly got surprised and scared by his sudden change of personality.
"Why won't you let me say it, huh? Is... is there someone else?" His words sounded like poison as he cringed by the feeling of asking you that question.
"I thought you told me that you wanted to listen to me a few days ago. That you liked hearing what I had to say... so why..." He knew he was starting to drift off, so he stopped himself. "Why..." His voice was struggling, and soon was your heart when you saw the way he turned his head to look at you dead in the eyes with tears threatening to escape his fragile golden eyes.
Why was he crying? Why did someone as wild, energetic and bright as Bokuto get so emotionally unstable in front of you. You were struggling to find the words and actions of what to do to soothe him. It was never in your intention of making him this angry or sad, but your poor personality always seemed to backfire on you when you least wanted it to. The fact that he was busy sniffling and trying to force himself not to move and keep his sudden emotions at bay, made your stomach hurt.
You closed the distance between the two of you again and slowly lifted both of your hands up to his face. Just as they got in his field of vision, you noticed him flinch, but he didn't move. He only stared at your hands for a second before looking down at your passionate eyes. He opened his mouth and wanted to speak up, but just as he was about to, your voice was dominant and caring in your speech. "Please don't cry." You told him with a loving smile and carefully brought both of your thumbs up to each of his eyes and wiped away the unwelcome tears which had yet been allowed to fall down.
"There isn't someone else, Bokuto." You paused and studied his sad features. This was a Bokuto you had never once dealt with before, so you had to make sure you were careful with your words.
"But... I don't deserve to hear those words from you." You told him the painful truth while looking down. It was more-so directed towards yourself than to him, to be honest.
You really liked him, but you doubted that you could make him happy. That thought had never even crossed your mind. You were actually just glad that your crush was kind, caring, energetic, good with people, respectful, a silly dork now and again, and at the very least, talked to you almost every day. You were happy with it being one-sided.
He scoffed and suddenly grabbed both of your wrists, forcefully jerking them down so he could force you to get even closer to him. "Why not!?" He shouted with anger. He was loud, and your wrists were starting to hurt by how strong his grip was around them.
"How...! How can you say something stupid like that!?"
You blinked, not fully understanding why he seemed so angry. "But I thought it was obvious that I… I liked you. I thought you already knew and weren't interested so… you kept keeping me around as a friend…" You mumbled, uncertain if your words were really true.
Bokuto shook his head and started laughing as he threw his head back, letting out a sigh the moment his laughter died out. "You're so ridiculous, I swear."
He looked back down at you, probably expecting a sorry of some kind, but you were unable to say a word.
"I had no idea for such a long time, and it was not obvious for me at all! You were so good at hiding it too since you barely said or did anything to me." He mumbled trying to remember back at the times the two of you had interacted playfully with each other, but none of it gave him any hints that you liked him.
'He didn't notice at all!?' you wondered. You thought for sure that he would have notice it almost instantly, since that was how your past friends told you that you were. 'So obvious and easy to read', was what they would always tell you. You only thought Bokuto was being his blunt self, not realizing that you truly liked him or just respectfully brushed your sudden embarrassing moments away since he didn't like you.
"You didn't do anything, so I didn't do anything either... but I'm not going to let these three years together be a waste!" He declared.
"Bokuto..." You whispered and could feel tears starting to well up in your eyes. How could you feel so sad and happy at the same time? This was Bokuto. A boy who you never thought could become even more lovable. He was filled with emotions and it was quickly overwhelming you. Even though he didn't say the exact words he intentionally wanted to say, the strong feeling in your stomach convinced you that his true feelings were reaching you.
You felt him tower over you quietly, and knew that he was waiting patiently for you to take it all in. He smiled down when he saw how you were reacting to his sudden outburst. Sure it was harsh, but the way you were smiling, wanting to dig deeper into his chest for warmth and feel his beating heart against your ear, along with a deep blush being barely visible in the dark, the boy got his reason to cradle you even tighter into him. He really didn't want to let you go. Not by the way you were currently acting.
"I…" You pushed yourself slightly away from Bokuto, earning yourself a silent stare from him. "I'm sorry…"
"Sorry?" He didn't understand.
"I'm sorry for being such a burden." You couldn't look at him. You knew it would only anger him more, bringing you two straight to the beginning of the conversation.
"But you're not—"
"Let me explain before you start rambling." You murmured.
"A-ah... sure. Go ahead." He said slowly with apologetic eyes, ashamed that he had interrupted you so suddenly.
"I know that I'm embarrassing to be around since I'm socially awkward and anxious almost every day. I'm weak because of that, and I know that. It makes me feel jealous compared to someone like you who is energetic, social, loud, funny, reassuring and supportive."
"Stop comparing yourself to me." He muttered under his breath. You ignored his complaint and continued.
"It made me happy knowing that someone as different as you to me, actually wanted to be friends. Even though countless of people disliked me and encouraged you to stop talking to me, I wondered why you didn't. I felt so confused…"
You stole a glance at Bokuto and instantly noticed a frown on his face, showing you that he disliked what he was hearing. But it wasn't a look you were unfamiliar with. You knew he hated hearing bad things about you.
"Even though you knew my flaws, you still stuck around. None had really done that. Sure, in the past with my former childhood friends, but for you to be there for… pretty much my entire high school life… made me incredibly happy and motivated to keep attending Fukurodani. For that I want to say thank you. Thank you for dealing with me and accepting me for who I am."
Bokuto was at loss for words. He shifted his eyes around, wondering what to say, even trying to lift his arm and open his mouth a couple of times, hoping that he had just found something decent to say, but there was nothing. You didn't blame him though. After he had a rare emotional breakdown about you, you didn't really mind if he had nothing to say now. It was ok. At least you knew he cared about what you had to say.
"Bokuto... I..." Bokuto's attention perked up by the sound of your voice. This was it. This felt like the right time to say it. After he told you everything and you told him everything, you knew everything had been cleared up about each other. "I..." He started to smile. "I-I... love you!" You mumbled, staring straight at him while saying it, but your eyes quickly found their way down to your boots covered with snow.
You didn't dare to look up at him. Everything was silent, and the only thing you could hear was the sound of your nerve-wrecking breath and water moving in the distance, along with occasional gust of wind. Your face was burning and you had officially declared that what you had just done was a terrible idea. There was no easy way to confess to your crush, but the amount of time he decided to be quiet should totally be illegal!
"Huh?" Bokuto peeped up. You slowly looked up at him and realized just how dumbstruck he looked down at you.
"Bo-"
"Huh? HUUUH!?" He exclaimed in realization and leaped over to grab both of your arms to hold you in place while staring down at you in surprise. Both of your faces were inches apart and you weren't fully sure what would happen next, so the only thing you could do to prepare yourself was to stiffen up.
"Why did you steal my words, (y/n)!" He shouted, clearly offended, but it wasn't like he was mad at you. In fact, it looked like he was blushing just as much as you did, and a smile was slowly crawling onto his lips.
"U-u-uhm!" You weren't too sure what to respond. However stuttering was not part of your plan.
"I was supposed to say that from the beginning, but you kept interrupting me." He sighed.
"B-but... I've sort of.. felt this way f-for a long time." You mumbled.
"R-really!?" He looked at you shocked.
"Y-yeah." You gulped. "S-since first year.. when I kind of... sort of... meet you.. and you talked... right after that..." Your words were a mess.
"Fine, take it." You looked at him confused when he turned his head away from yours. "I'll let you have that one." He pouted. "But..." he turned around to face you and got dangerously closer to you.
"Hm?"
"I'll be the first one to-" The glint in his eyes and the tone of his lustful voice made you alert as he slowly lowered his head down to your level.
"A-ah, w-wait!" You quickly stopped him and covered his mouth with both of your hands, struggling to push him away. He didn't budge much until your eyes hinted for him to back away, and his brows furrowed in response.
Bokuto inched away and grabbed both of your hands away. He let out a frustrated sigh. "You really like to tease me, don't you?" He complained shyly, a blush was apparent on his face. He probably hoped that he could be slick and get it over with quickly so you couldn't do anything about it, but your reflexes were sharp tonight.
"I...I don't mean to... it's just..." You looked away from him, feeling embarrassed.
"It's just...?" He urged you to continue.
"I..." You shifted your glance up to his eyes. "I've... never really k-kissed anyone before..." You mumbled shamefully. He would definitely tease you about it now.
"Oya, oya?" He hummed amused. Definitely.
"Well, I've never kissed anyone either, so there's that!" Bokuto confessed... almost a little too enthusiastic. He probably realized it as his expression dropped. "S-so, don't be afraid, ok!?" He quickly picked himself up and tried his best to make himself sound reassuring so that you wouldn't feel more nervous than you already were.
You wanted to laugh. Not because he hadn't kissed anyone before, but the way he tried to hide his oblivious childish behavior. You knew that he hated to admit embarrassing things, so it was definitely entertaining for you to witness it for the first time. Although it was hard, you still managed to restrain yourself.
"Okay." You let out a sigh and smiled. "But just... give me a moment to..."
He nodded in response, understanding what you meant.
Bokuto inhaled and exhaled deeply before staring into your eyes. He was surprisingly calmer than you thought he would be, but after a few seconds you could see him fidget impatiently closer to you. You couldn't help but chuckle at how silly he was being. He smiled, but quickly went into being serious again. It was really interesting and entertaining to watch Bokuto being suddenly so obedient around you, especially with a mood and setting such as this. It probably wasn't the most ideal location to be in, but it didn't matter when Bokuto was pressed up against you, providing you with enough heat and comfort to make the wintery world seem distant and hazy.
Finally you gave him a small nod. He blinked reassuringly and smiled passionately as he brought both of his hands up to your cheeks. He slowly closed the distance between you and started to kiss you passionately with both of your eyes closed. It was definitely sloppy and rough, but you didn't mind. It didn't bother you at all. The only thing which was on your mind was how incredibly happy you were for your crush to kiss you, hell, have the honor to be your first kiss as well. Bokuto didn't hold back though as you could feel him deepening the kiss to keep it going for as long as possible. The sudden rise of temperature, along with a painfully fuzzy feeling, coursed through your stomach as your entire body wanted to melt against the person holding you close. It was exciting and new, and you never wanted it to end.
You responded to the feelings inside of you and grabbed a tighter hold of Bokuto's jacket and pulled him even closer to you, almost tripping him in the process. His breath hitched in-between the kiss and opened his eyes ever so slightly to look down at your flustered face, which was really hard for him to resist. He closed his eyes again and continued, slowly lowering his hands down around your back. As he was doing it though, he felt himself managing to pin you up to the tree. He didn't realize it at first, but when he felt your head go back ever so slightly, he knew that he was most likely overstepping boundaries.
Bokuto, who was clearly in control, broke the kiss and rested his forehead up against yours as you both panted for air. "So... you can feel it too, right?" Bokuto asked in-between breaths. He wanted to make sure that you weren't feeling uncomfortable, especially by the way you riled him up.
"Yeah." You breathed. Assuming that he was talking about the intense feeling in your stomach. It was scary how much it hurt, but the pain was slowly turning into pleasure instead. You couldn't fully admit that you felt comfortable with having this new, strange feeling around, but if this was the extra condition you had to bear with to be with Bokuto, then it was something you could definitely get used to.
"C-can I?" Bokuto asked impatiently and motioned with his head that he wanted to do more as his eyes watched yours intensely. He was apparently in a very good mood for being so eager into making this new emotion inside of you to last for as long as possible.
You smiled and gave him a small nod. Before kissing you though, he placed both of your hands at the back of his neck and wrapped his strong arms around you waist, having one behind your back and one behind your neck. "Stay." He ordered shyly and took a few steps closer to close the gap between the two of you once again.
Bokuto started giving you small slow kisses, one after another. It was something about them which felt captivating to keep going. Being locked, to then get a small pause to breathe and be at it again. It felt good and alluring, as if he was trying to tease and confuse the strong feeling inside of you, since it kept dying down when he moved away. It didn't take long for him to escalate it even further though, as he gave you one last kiss on the lips, to then move to the side of your cheek and slowly down your neck.
"Bokuto," You whispered as a silent moan escaped your lips. He looked up, but he kept going without saying anything. He didn't want to ruin the moment, so he only tightened his grip around you harder. The sensation inside your body was overwhelming. It was almost suffocating, considering how rapid your heartbeat was. You didn't understand how a series of kisses managed to rile you up so much, but then again, you could hardly believe that it was Bokuto doing this to you in the first place. You never expected him to act like this, you had underestimated him. Even though he acted like a child most of the time, he was still an eighteen year old boy.
"B-Bokuto-" But his constant kisses were making it difficult to concentrate.
"Hmm?" he mumbled as his lips were on your skin.
"Y-you're a being a little too-." You couldn't finish your sentence, but mumbled flustered and gave him an apologetic look when you saw a sad expression form on his face.
"O-oh." He backed away from you to give you space, though not too much since he couldn't stop staring into his favorite pair of (e/c) eyes.
"Sorry," He smiled and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "I can't help it when I love you."
He had said it. Those words you had longed forever to tell him, yet it felt completely different and surreal when he said it to you. Were you hearing it for real, or were you so caught up in the moment that you assumed that he just said it? Whatever it was, you really wanted to hear him say it again.
"What did you say?" You asked nervously.
"Sorry?"
"No, after that."
"I can't help it?"
"After that."
He grumbled, not understanding what you were trying to pry out of him. "I love you?"
"Yeah, that." You paused and watched his expression soften. "I love you." You repeated his words.
"I love you too." He repeated after you and smirked when he saw the way you started to blush, but you were acting stubborn and didn't give him a smile back yet.
"I love you." He said it again. "I love you." He said it once more, determined to crack you as he slowly leaned over.
"Really," He whispered in your ear, and before you could anticipate what he was doing, he suddenly pulled you away from the tree and embraced you tightly in his strong arms. He then decided it would be best to escalate it, so he started to nuzzle your neck until he could hear faint giggles emitting from you, giving him enough time to see a smile from you.
He smiled back, but was silent and refused to let you go. You sighed from embarrassment. You looked down at his chest and muttered, "I get it."
"Hmm? What did you say?" He teased.
You were silent.
He laughed by the lack of your response. You really liked his gruff voice, especially his laughs. They always made you smile. In the end, Bokuto got what he wanted, thus declared himself the winner. But at the same time, you could say that you got what you wanted too... just didn't expect him to turn it against you.
Still being an emotional wonder, Bokuto never managed to calm down for the rest of the night. All he could do was to cuddle close to you and playfully tease you with "I love you"s till you got overwhelmed and he got utterly exhausted. Eventually you let drowsiness get the best of you, and fall soundly asleep together with Bokuto in your bed as his arms were wrapped around you, protecting his most important source of happiness. You.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this one-shot reader insert with Bokuto. Thanks for reading! Tell me what you think, R&R!