AUTHOR'S NOTE: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TUNING IN TO THIS NEW STORY THAT I SHOULDN'T BE STARTING BUT I AM. I HOPE THAT YOU LIKE IT. IT IS AN AU BECAUSE I PREFER THEM. SO CHECK THIS OUT AND I HOPE AFTER YOU READ IT YOU'LL LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. THANKS. ALSO I AM STRUGGLING WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THE BETTER MAN. I'VE SORT OF HIT A WALL WITH THAT. STILL I AM DOING MY BEST TO WORK ON IT. PROMISE! - KRISTINE.
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: UH, NO.
CHAPTER ONE: NOT THIS GIRL
- N - & - R -
Her hands shook violently as she walked down the aisle that 23 year old aspiring Broadway stars always dreaded and avoided when making a trip to their local pharmacy. She'd been on this aisle once before for her roommate in college, but never for herself. No, she was a responsible career driven Jewish girl with a fine arts degree from Yale. She wasn't supposed to walk down this aisle until she was in a committed long-term relationship with someone other than her openly gay roommate and a grey and white Himalayan named Babs. This wasn't supposed to happen to good girls like her she thought bitterly as she took in all of the various boxes that claimed that they were the fastest and produced the most accurate results. Standing there by herself she couldn't help but regret her decision to have Kurt just meet her back at their apartment. She should have taken him up on his offer to join her. This wouldn't be so terrifying if he was standing by her side, holding her hand, and making fun of the various commercials associated with the different brands.
"All of the choices make it kind of daunting," a petite redhead remarked pulling Rachel from her thoughts.
Rachel turned towards her and smiled nodding as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She couldn't help but miserably think that she seemed a bit more excited at the prospect of needing to be on this aisle. "Especially when they all make similar claims," she remarked swallowing as she took in all of the options again.
"My sister always uses this one," the woman replied as she reached out and grabbed a white box that claimed to be the most advanced piece of technology you'd ever pee on. "I guess I can overlook the crude slogan if it works, I'm Emma by the way."
"Rachel," she said as she shook the woman's hand. She noticed just as she suspected that there was a brilliant princess cut engagement ring as well as a white gold band on that all important finger. She silently wondered if the woman noticed that her left ring finger was very much naked.
Emma grabbed two more boxes off of the shelf and dropped them in her basket along with the first one. "I want to be as sure of my answer as possible. I tried to get in with my doctor to find out that way but he's booked until next week and I couldn't last that long." She explained shrugging sheepishly.
"I hope you get the answer that you want." Rachel told her sincerely.
"I hope you do too," Emma said as she flashed a kind and grateful smile. She was halfway down the aisle when she stopped and turned back around. "Hey Rachel…"
"Yes?" She asked as she set the test she'd been looking at back on the shelf before looking at Emma expectantly.
"Were you by chance in Lemon Sky?"
Rachel noticeably brightened making the smile she sported earlier look almost like a frown. Penny in Lemon Sky was the first role she'd actually landed since coming to New York City to pursue her dreams eighteen months. It was so far her only real taste of success on the stage and even then it had been off-Broadway. The run hadn't been as long as she would have liked but still there had been an audience and the reviewers that took the time to even mention her had suggested she had potential. In her opinion that was pretty good. "Yes, yes I was."
"I thought so. You did a great job. You were very convincing. My husband and I spent the whole dinner afterwards commenting on how you stole the show."
"Thank you. That really means a lot." And she meant it. It really did. In fact it meant so much that she almost wanted to cry.
Emma nodded and flashed another kind smile saying, "Good luck with the results," one more time before leaving Rachel to decide between all of the brands. She stood there for another minute before finally deciding to just grab the one that Emma had selected, following her lead and grabbing one more just to be sure. Still all of the bravado and excitement she'd just felt was gone as she remembered the reality of her current situation. If the test ended up proving her suspicion correct then this could easily be the last time anyone recognized her and playing Penny would be as close as she ever got to being on Broadway.
- N - & - R -
"Kurt!" She called the moment that she walked into their small apartment shrugging off her jacket and kicking off her shoes before even making it out of the entryway. Her nerves had somehow become even more frayed during the short walk from the pharmacy where bought the test to their second floor walk-up.
"He's on his way," Blaine said as he emerged from the kitchen carrying a mug of steaming tea. "I told him I would wait with you until he could get here. I hope that's okay. I made tea."
"Of course that's okay." Rachel assured him. In the year that Kurt and Blaine had been dating she'd grown nearly as close to the dark, curly haired boy as she was to his partner which was saying something because she considered Kurt her dearest friend. "Thank you for even being willing to come wait with me," she said as she sat down on the couch and accepted the mug that he'd been holding out to her.
He joined her on the couch and wrapped an arm around her shoulder gently pulling her close to him. "It's going to be okay Rach."
She bit her lip before letting out a ragged breath. She blinked rapidly trying to keep the tears that she'd been on the verge of since she realized she was late at bay. No matter how hard she tried though she couldn't stop them.
Blaine glanced down at her and felt his heart break as he watched the most confident and resilient girl he knew begin to shatter in front of his very own eyes. He started to assure her that Finn would probably be excited about the news when Kurt rushed through the front door juggling a bag of what he guessed was comfort food and his always present sketch pad.
"I'm sorry it took so long," Kurt said as he attempted to catch his breath. Not only had he power walked at full speed from the Subway to their apartment but he'd all but run up the three floors. He dropped the bag on the coffee table before scooping Rachel up in his arms. "How are you holding up?"
"I've been better," she said sniffling as she wiped her cheeks. She could tell by the pitied look on his face that her mascara had run which meant she looked as terrible as she felt. "You ran up the stairs for me." She pointed out trying to relieve the noticeable tension and angst that had filled the room.
"Of course I did," he told her as he squeezed her again. "Have you taken the test yet?"
She shook her head no. "I don't think I can."
"So we're just going to wait until you may or may not start to show to find out? Sounds like a risky plan to me."
She sniffled again sighing loudly as she stood up and grabbed the two boxes out of the discrete white bag.
"Two?" Kurt asked, his perfectly groomed eyebrows were raised in both surprise and amusement.
"Can't be too sure," she explained lamely before starting towards their bathroom.
"Take this just in case," Kurt instructed as he daintily tossed her a bottle of water.
"Thanks," she murmured before disappearing into the bathroom.
- N - & - R -
Twenty minutes after Rachel disappeared into the bathroom Kurt started to get nervous. He knew from the commercials that it was taking her entirely too long. Despite Blaine's request for him to stay seated he instead crossed the room and softly knocked on the bathroom door. "Rachel?" When she didn't say anything he slowly opened the door and frowned the moment he laid eyes on her. "It's going to be okay," he told her as he sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms.
"I'm not supposed to be this girl," she choked out between sobs. She knew that it was going to be positive before she even took the damn tests, but having her suspicion confirmed still rocked her as though she'd just been blindsided by the news. "My career's over."
"Rachel just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you have to be a mother. You have a choice in the matter." Kurt reminded her gently. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her look so devastated. For the last 18 months she'd been rejected countless times and been told she didn't have the right look or even worse wasn't pretty enough. Still every time she'd vowed simply to make that casting director regret his decision. She'd kept her head held high. Seeing her like this, looking so broken, it broke him.
"I couldn't. I just…" she stammered.
He nodded expecting this answer. "Well Finn is going to be happy. You know he's been dying to come up with a reason to convince you to marry him and move to New Jersey which Blaine and I will not let happen."
Rachel took a deep breath as she wiped her eyes. She tried not to think about how puffy, red, and flat out gross she must look. "Actually about that," she started not sure how best to break this news that she was certain would rock Kurt's world more than her unexpected pregnancy had. "The baby isn't his."
"What?" Kurt asked in a voice so shrill it even made him cringe slightly. "I mean if not Finn then who?"
Rachel glanced up at the ceiling. She opened her mouth but couldn't seem to get the words out or rather name out. Finally she just sort of looked at him knowing that if anyone could figure it out by a simple look it would be Kurt.
"No." He said as he took in the look she was giving him.
She smiled sadly and nodded. Her bottom lip started to quiver as she felt herself about to cry again.
"But when?"
"My Dad's anniversary party," she whispered.
"You didn't even mention he was there."
"I felt stupid and I thought it was going to be no big deal kind of a walk down memory lane."
"I should have known." Thinking back to that weekend he could now remember that she came home quieter and more reserved than she normally did after a weekend with her fathers. Then again she also had looked more at peace so he just chalked it up to her finally getting enough sleep. Still he should have realized that it was heartbreak.
She squeezed his hand, "You couldn't have sweetie and even if you had suspected something happened I wouldn't have been willing to admit to anything."
"Well before we call him and drop this bombshell on him I think I at least deserve to know how the hell this happened."
- N - & - R -
AUTHOR'S NOTE: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS CHAPTER. I COULD LEAVE IT HERE AND IT COULD BE AMBIGUOUS AT TO WHO THE FATHER IS BUT LET'S FACE IT IF YOU READ MY STORIES THEN YOU ALREADY CAN GUESS. HAHA. ANYWAY I WAS PLANNING ON MAKING THIS A MULTI-CHAPTER STORY SO IF YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. I'VE ALREADY STARTED ON CHAPTER TWO SO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS WILL GET A LITTLE PREVIEW OF THE NEXT CHAPTER. THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN. YA'LL ARE THE BEST! - KRISTINE.