Hi everyone this is my first story to warm me up for the Derek&Stiles Fest hosted by the great Dolcelockhart I hope you like it ! Also I don't own Teen wolf weather it be the classic 80s movie or great one on MTV so please do not sue I am just a broke college student.

Just some points: The alpha was defeated and killed thanks to the combined skills of the 7 teens, Everyone in the group knows about Werewolfs, The Argents paid for the Hale house to be rebuilt in retribution for Kate not following the code and it has become the main hangout spot for the group.

There were many, many things that Derek liked about being Stiles's boyfriend. First and foremost, he didn't have to hide anything from the kid. He didn't have to lie about his family or his wolf powers, because Stiles already knew and accepted him werewolf and all. Derek loved that Stiles's idea of a good date involved playing video games for a few hours, showering (possibly together if Derek could talk him into it), and watching a gory movie over a couple of pizzas. Followed, of course, by lots of sex.

Oh, the sex. At the risk of sounding like a single-minded pervert, Derek had to say that the sex was easily the best part of their relationship. But more than that, the sex was just spectacular. Of course, a large part of that could be chalked up to the fact that they were hormonal teenagers, aged nineteen and sixteen respectively, meaning that they had hyperactive sex drives to begin with. Derek wondered how much of it could be chalked up to his werewolf physiology, and how much was just good old-fashioned human libido.

Yes, Derek had decided, dating Stiles was in every conceivable way superior to dating a girl. So, on this lovely summer afternoon, Derek was not out buying flowers or perfume or chocolates for his significant other. Instead, he and said significant other were pounding the hell out of each other in the game street fighter. It was only after four hours and an embarrassing losing streak on Stiles part that they finally called it a day. Derek shut down the game and after a quick blowjob, and the two teenagers quickly went straight to any proper males favorite part of the house—the kitchen.

Little did Derek know at the time that, on that otherwise pleasant summer afternoon, in that otherwise pleasant kitchen, things were about to go horribly, horribly wrong.

"Man," Stiles said as he rifled through the refrigerator. "I've been craving sweet and salty all week."

"Yeah?" Derek asked as he began making them a couple of sandwiches. It was late in the afternoon and dinner would be in a couple of hours, so he figured that he would keep their snack small. Fifteen layers each of meat and cheese should be appropriate.

"Uh huh," Stiles said, his head still shoved halfway into the large fridge. "I must have gone through twelve bags of chocolate covered pretzels."

"That's kinda weird, Babe."

"That was my thought." Stiles shut the door of the fridge. "Got any ice cream?"

"Yeah," Derek nodded, "in the freezer." Stiles grinned as he pulled out a half-gallon of chocolate ice cream and a spoon. He sat down with Derek and began eating straight out of the carton, as Derek dove face first into one of the sandwiches.

"Damn," Stiles said as he licked the back of the spoon. "You know what I just got struck with a craving for?"

"What?" Derek said around a mouthful of turkey and cheese.

"Sardines!"

Derek swallowed the large bite in his mouth and stared at Stiles for a few moments. "...With ice cream."

"Yes."

"That's disgusting."

"I know!" Stiles said, nodding vigorously as he got up to raid the pantry. "Like I said, I've been having weird cravings all week."

"Wow," Derek said with a laugh, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were pregnant.

"Ha-ha." Stiles rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Derek, but in case you haven't noticed, I not a women I cannot get pregnant."

As fate would have it, that was the precise moment that Allison and Scott decided to walk into the kitchen. Though Scott was in his own little world, he had that stupid smile on his face he always has when Allison was around not making eye contact with neither his pack mate nor his best friend, Allison did address the younger teen's comment. "Yes you can."

"Wait," Stiles said, freezing in place. "What?"

Allison shrugged as she grabbed a plastic container of leftover chicken from the fridge. "yeah I read it in one of books my father gave me, It was titled Les chiots pour la famillede loup-garoumoderne ."

Derek gaped at his friend, dropping what remained of his sandwich back onto his plate. "Wait...does that mean… Stiles can get pregnant?"

"Yes, very interesting stuff." Without another word, Allison left, chicken wings in hand with Scott trailing at her side say how much he loved hearing her speak French.

Derek swallowed loudly as he turned to face Stiles. Stiles stared at Derek, suddenly looking very, very pale.

Before Derek knew what was happening, a hyperventilating Stiles was running out of the kitchen. A few seconds later, Derek ran after him.

"Stiles! What the hell are you doing!" Derek pounded his fist against the door of the bathroom with increasing force. He could have easily broken it down, of course, but his usual carpenter was probably starting to find the holes he routinely found in the ceilings and walls suspicious.

"I hate you!" Stiles cried from inside the locked bathroom. "Now go away! I never want to see you again!"

Derek pinched the bridge of his nose. He refrained from pointing out that this was his house. "Stiles!" he shouted, resuming his loud knocking. "Get out of there!"

"No! I'm never coming out!"

"Why the hell not?"

"I'm hiding away from the world while I lose my boyish figure!"

Screw the carpenter's suspicions. With one good yank, Derek tore the door off its hinges. As he set the door down, he saw that Stiles was leaning against the wall between the sink and the toilet, hugging his knees to his chest and burying his face in his arms.

"God damnit, Stiles. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Stiles looked up at Derek, his large black eyes rimmed with red. "You knocked me up, you bastard!"

Derek gripped his hair with such ferocity that he nearly tore his scalp right off his head. "Stiles. You. Are. Not. Pregnant."

"Then why haven't I gotten my period?"

Derek' jaw dropped. "You..." He opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to get it to cooperate and form actual words. "You never had one to begin with, you moron!"

"Don't call me a moron!" Stiles finally stood and grabbed a toothbrush from the counter, tossing it roughly at Derek' head. "I may or may not be carrying your child!"

Derek sighed. Stiles was a sweet kid, really, but he did have a tendency to panic attacks. He had to put a stop to this before the situation got out of control. "Okay," he said calmly, "what do I have to do to convince you that you aren't pregnant?"

"This is fucking ridiculous." Derek let out a string of curses under his breath as he walked to the appropriate aisle of the drug store.

Of all the things he expected to do after killing his Uncle, buying a pregnancy test for his boyfriend was not among them.

He stared at the surprisingly large display, eyeing brand after brand of pregnancy test. The variety of tests available was startling—how many ways could there be to pee on a stick? After spending a few minutes reading several labels and numerous similar sets of instructions, Derek just grabbed a few different boxes. He had no idea which test Stiles would prefer, and he really didn't want to have to run back out on the same errand again.

Derek dropped the randomly selected packages into his shopping basket and immediately began walking briskly to the front checkout line. In his distracted state, he managed to plow into an unfortunate young woman by the toothpaste aisle.

"Oof!" the girl huffed out as she fell to the tile floor. Derek landed on his rear, dropping his basket and scattering the pregnancy tests. The girl rose to her knees and began replacing them in the basket. "Here, let me—Derek! Hi!"

"Huh?" Derek stood up to brush the dirt from the seat of his pants and finally looked at the teenage girl. "Oh, hey Lydia," he greeted, helping her up. "Sorry about that. I'm in a bit of a rush." Derek said as he nodded his head to Jackson and Danny.

"Oh, it's no prob—" Lydia cut herself off as she looked down at the small box in her hand. "Uh, Derek? I, uh, hate to butt in, but..."

"Yeah?" Derek asked, gathering his basket and the remaining pregnancy tests.

"Aren't you still dating Stiles?"

"yes, I am."

Lydia frowned, handing him the box in her hand. "Are you guys having relationship problems?"

"Yes," Derek sighed. "My boyfriend thinks he's pregnant."

Lydia raised an eyebrow and glared at the other teenager. She clearly didn't buy his explanation. "Who is it? It better not be some werewolf slut." Jackson and Danny shifted their eyes to Derek with a frown on their lips. After working together to take down his Uncle, clear his name, and get the Argents to back off; the group had become like a close second family. And everyone in the group knew that Stiles was the baby of their family.

Derek gripped the bridge of his nose in a gesture of exasperation. "I'm not cheating on Stiles, Lydia. My boyfriend is just out of his mind."

"Uh huh. Sure, Derek." She folded her arms and frowned at him. "I'll see you around some time." With that, she turned and stalked out of the store, forgetting her toothpaste and mouthwash with Jackson and Danny trailing behind.

Derek paid for the tests and grumbled to himself the whole way home. Not only did his boyfriend think he was going to make medical history, but now almost half of their make shift family thinks Derek was a cheater. He didn't want to tempt fate, but as he arrived at his house and walked into the bathroom in which Stiles was still seated, he truly wondered how this day could get any worse.

Until Stiles got the result of the first pregnancy test.

Derek gaped at the thin blue line that had appeared on the chemical strip. "No. Fucking. Way."

"Oh, no!" Stiles wailed. He started to gasp as tears began streaming down his face. "I'm only sixteen! I'm too young to be a daddy!" Stiles bitterly threw the pregnancy test into the trashcan. "And I'm way too young to be a mommy!" He buried his face in his hands, sobbing loudly.

"Stiles, Stiles," Derek said evenly, trying to calm his hysterical boyfriend. "It was probably a false positive. Come on, just take another pregnancy test, will you?" Stiles tearfully nodded and pulled out another box.

Three tests and three equally sharp blue lines later, however, left Stiles sobbing in the corner of the bathroom, and Derek deeply, deeply confused.

Derek frowned at the final pregnancy test, trying to gather his thoughts above the commotion of Stiles's furious crying. "There has got to be another explanation."

There were many, many things Derek liked about being Stiles's boyfriend. But, in the three days since Stiles had started believing he was pregnant, all of those reasons went flying out the window.

Stiles wouldn't play, because he didn't want to risk subjecting the fetus to violence. Stiles wouldn't eat pizza, because it contributed to his "morning sickness." Stiles wouldn't watch gory movies, because he was afraid of somehow scarring the baby's fragile little mind in utero. When Derek had pointed out that Stiles didn't even want to have a baby, Stiles had started to cry. Very loudly. For an hour. Using one of Derek' shirts as a handkerchief.

But that wasn't the worst part of this all. No, the most horrible part of this whole debacle was the fact that Stiles flatly refused to have sex.

"Baby!" Derek cried out, horrified when Stiles ordered him to stop talking off his pants. "Why the hell not!"

Stiles folded his arms, scowling at his boyfriend. "Because the last time we had sex, you knocked me up."

Derek tried to reason with the younger boy. "Stiles, even if you are pregnant—which I still maintain you aren't—it's not like I can get you pregnant again!"

"That's what we thought the first time around!" Stiles shouted. "I'm not taking any chances."

"Okay, that's it." Derek fell face first onto the bed, burying his head in his pillow. "I think you need to go."

"Oh, so you only want me for sex, is that it?" Tears were once again apparent in Stiles's voice, but Derek couldn't bring himself to care at this moment.

"No, Stiles." His voice was muffled by the pillow. "I just want you to leave." So, in a huff, leave Stiles did.

Two hours later, Derek found his sulking interrupted by a knock on his door. His face was still very much burrowed into his pillow when Lydia opened the door.

"Hey wolf man, me and Danny picked up dinner." Lydia came inside the bedroom as she saw her friend apparently distressed state, joining him on the bed. "What's wrong, Derek?"

Derek sat up, facing his new sister figure. He considered explaining the situation for a moment, then stopped. It simply wasn't worth getting into. "Nothing," he finally said "you know I would never cheat on Stiles right" "I know that" Lydia said "you know we are all just a little protective of Stiles". Derek sighed "I'm just in love with an idiot."

Before Lydia could answer, the two of them were interrupted by a loud crash and a louder boom from downstairs. Derek immediately suspected that the noise had come from the back yard. His suspicions were confirmed when he heard his Scott's voice boom from downstairs. "Jackson!" Scott called. "Stop making donuts with your car!"

Lydia sighed, pressing the heel of her palm to her forehead. "You aren't the only one, Derek. You aren't the only one."

This was it. This was the very last straw. The mood swings, the cravings, the psychosomatic nausea, even the refusal to have sex, those he could all take. But this, this was where Derek drew the line.

His boyfriend's antics had reached a whole new level of ridiculousness. Stiles was camped out on Derek' bed with a spool of pink yarn, two needles, and a book of crochet patters. Learning how to knit.

"Baby," Derek said, rubbing his temples. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Making a bootie!" Stiles said, proudly picking up a poorly stitched patch of pink fabric. "What do you think?"

"I think it looks more like an elbow patch than a boot."

Predictably, Stiles started to cry. Equally predictably, he chucked one of his knitting needles at Derek' head, just barely missing knocking out his eye. "I'm pregnant with your baby! Can't you even try to be nice to me?"

"Alright, that's it!" Derek growled shifting his hand to destroy the bootie. "Stiles, I'm going to drag you down to the vet, he will x-ray you, and SHOW you that you aren't pregnant!" He then leaped onto the bed, quickly getting Stiles into a tight headlock.

"Ack! No!" Stiles shouted, struggling against Derek' grip. "X-rays are bad for fetuses! We can't do it!" The fight went on for a few minutes before Stiles, in a burst of supposedly hormone-fueled rage, managed to hurl Derek against the wall. Derek leapt at Stiles again, knocking over a floor lamp while Stiles ran around the room, trying to evade him.

It wasn't long before both Allison, Lydia, Scott, Jackson, and Danny were at Derek' bedroom door, drawn upstairs by the sudden commotion. "What the hell is going on here?" Jackson demanded.

Derek answered without looking at his Friends. "I'm trying to convince this fucking lunatic (ha-ha episode title) that he isn't fucking pregnant!"

"Derek!" Stiles exclaimed, sounding horrified. "That's no way to talk about the mother…. Ah father of your child!"

Derek actually growled. "You aren't having a baby!"

"Yes I am!"

The onlookers looked at one another for a few moments before addressing the boys. "Of course you aren't pregnant," Allison said, shaking her head in disbelief.

Derek turned to the werewolf hunter descendant and the 3rd sister figure he has had in his life , his attention no longer focused on his boyfriend. "What?"

"How do you know?" Stiles asked, freezing in place.

Allison smiles "in Les chiotspour la famillede loup-garoumoderne It said that the pair has to mate during the night of the Blue Moon which only comes once every 5 years, it will not be here till your 21 Stiles ."

Derek' eyes widened. "Why didn't you explain this sooner?"

Allison shrugged. "You didn't ask."

Stiles began scratching at the top of his head, now more confused than panicked. "Then how do you explain the pregnancy tests? They all came out positive."

Allison rolled her eyes. "You're not sleeping with a human, Stiles. Did it not occur to you that Derek's hormonal makeup might be a little different than of a typical human male?" Danny laughed "did you guys do anything sexual before all this started" Stiles blushed "yeah"

Allison nodded in agreement. "werewolf men produce a hormone in their semen that's very similar chemically to the hormone that women produce when they're pregnant. If I took a pregnancy test, it would come out positive too." Allison laughed. Scott did not find it very funny.

Jackson snorted. "Idiots." With that, they left the two teenagers alone, shutting the door behind them.

Stiles sat down on Derek' bed, completely quiet. Derek joined the younger man, also unable to say a word. A few minutes of silence passed before Stiles spoke up.

"I'm not pregnant!" A broad grin threatened to split Stiles's face in half. "I'm not going to have a baby!"

Derek nodded, also smiling. "That's what I've been telling you all week, you numbskull."

"Yes!" Stiles leapt up from the bed, jumping excitedly for a few seconds. "We should celebrate! Want to go see a movie or something?"

"I think I have a better idea." Then, without further warning, Derek tackled Stiles to the floor of his bedroom, ripped off his pants, and tossed them unceremoniously onto his bed.

The boys then proceeded to spend the next several hours not making a baby. However Derek had big plans for when Stiles was 21.

Cibiboy3: "Hey guys Thanks for reading please tell me what you guys think also I have a poll on my page that I would love for you to take".

Stiles: "Question time what was the title of Allison's book in English"

Derek: "And what sex act started all this drama"

Stiles: "Derek you cant ask that its dirty"

Cibiboy3: "Quite down you two, eat a cookie or something"