Sterile white sheets that were scratchy against pale skin, the familiar burn of sterile sanitizing spray in the air, the constant hum and beep of machines and monitors – all the telling signals of a hospital were there. Cory hadn't slept in forty-eight hours except for the few rare moments when he would doze off between doctors and nurses coming in and out of the small, dark room. There should have been more visitors by now, but he wasn't really all that surprised to find himself alone. Even he didn't really feel like being there anymore.
He heard his phone ring from his coat pocket but didn't make a move to retrieve it across the room. There had been a few calls this morning, probably his parents checking on him. They were worried. Everyone was worried. Coming back here had been a risk. Still, it felt like something that he had to do. He couldn't leave him here alone – stupid loyalty. He had made a promise a long time ago, and even if his partner-in-crime hadn't upheld his end, Cory still couldn't let him down.
"How is he looking today, Claire?" Cory asked as the petite brunette nurse checked over Shawn's vital signs. There had been a week of this, of the same pointless questions and the same empty answers. The nurse smiled softly at Cory and gave him the same line about things remaining the same. "Well, I guess that's better than it getting worse, isn't it?"
"I'm sorry, Cory," she told him genuinely, and he knew that she meant it. They were all sorry, the doctors and the nurses that paraded through. They were sorry that they couldn't give him better news and that he had to be there in the first place and that no one could offer up any answers that would give him real comfort. "I will be back in a couple hours to check on him again. I hear they are having pizza in the cafeteria if you get hungry. If you need anything else, just give us a call."
After thanking her, Cory turned back and looked down at his old friend. The past two years had not been kind to Shawn Hunter, not that life had ever really smiled upon him much. They had grown apart during the time, after Topanga left to pursue her law dreams in San Francisco and Cory had fully immersed himself in teaching. Shawn had kind of drifted around New York City without his old friends to tether himself to anymore. Even Cory hadn't been able to reach him when he got in too deep, and now they had both found themselves here in this room.
If he had to pinpoint when things went really bad, he knew that it was when Shawn found out that Jack had been killed in an automobile accident down in Nicaragua. A few years in the Peace Corps had shown his brother that he appreciated doing missionary-type work, and he had been traveling through Central America ever since. Losing Jack had been the end of all the biological family he had left. It had been a downward spiral ever since, and Cory had to hope that his best friend had finally hit rock bottom.
"How's he doing?"
Cory turned toward the doorway and smiled at his wife. She looked so pretty standing under that dull fluorescent light, a true angel sent to save him amidst all the chaos. Everyone had been surprised when they had ended up together, no one more than Cory and her. They had reconnected at their tenth high school reunion, an event neither Topanga nor Cory bothered to show up for. There had been a lot of hurt feelings when they had announced they were dating, old loves resurfacing long after they should have been forgotten.
"Hey, Ang," he whispered as he came toward her. Angela wrapped her arms around him in a long embrace, cradling her husband protectively to her chest. He felt at home then, safe from the harsh realities that faced them outside this room. "He's about the same, you know. You didn't have to come by this morning. I know you were busy writing. When is the next edit due back to your publisher?"
Angela had turned out to be quite an accomplished writer after she graduated from college in Paris. She'd written three books to this point and had received a nice publishing deal and generous advance for her next one. "I finished the last little bit this morning. I will get it out to the publisher next week. I told them that we kind of had a family emergency."
He looked back at his best friend lying there motionless in bed and wondered if that was still true. Were they still family? He would do anything for Shawn, but he wasn't sure that the favor would be returned. Shawn had always been selfish to a point, but things had become uncontrollable since Jack died and Topanga left. Drugs had become his only comfort, his only love. There didn't seem to be a place in his life for anything or anyone else.
"Did you call her?"
Cory looked up at his wife and nodded silently. The last thing he wanted to do was call Topanga. She had made a big choice when she had left him and their marriage for the bright sunshine of California. She told him that she had a new dream, one that didn't include him. It had taken him a long time to get over it, though he wasn't always sure that he had really forgiven her. Topanga hadn't been in contact with Shawn since she left New York. None of them were in her life anymore. He hadn't really wanted to call Topanga but Angela had insisted. She deserved to know, even if she didn't want to do anything about it.
"She said that she would be out this weekend if she could get time off," he answered with a shrug. He wasn't sure why he was so surprised at Topanga's cavalier attitude. That wasn't the girl he had known and loved, but that was definitely who she had turned into. "I told her not to bother, that we had things handled. I don't know what's right anymore, Ang. I just want this to be over so I can go home with you."
"I know," she said softly, sliding her arms back around him from behind as they watched Shawn sleep in the hospital bed. This had been all they had seen for the past week. "You've tried everything but giving up, Cor. I know you feel guilty but you can't. Shawn didn't want help. He wanted to get high. All you can do is wait to see if he wakes up and offer him help again. If he still won't take it, I don't know…at some point, I feel like we have to be done."
Cory turned around in his arms and nodded before letting his hand drift down to her slightly rounded stomach. "I know, I know," he assured her as he rubbed her tummy. They had a child on the way, a whole other person that was now more important than them. "I just, I don't know…I feel guilty. He has no one, Ang. If I give up, what will happen to him?"
"Honestly, Cor, I don't know," she admitted as her fingers entwined with his on her abdomen. "I just know that we have a really good thing going here, the family that we both wanted. You've already given Shawn so much, but I won't let him take this from us. I won't let you give up this for him. I will support you in whatever you need to do for him, honey, but I won't support you losing yourself in the chaos of this storm."
"That won't happen," he promised her confidently, leaning over to kiss the top of her forehead. "I am going to be a father now, and you are going to be this baby's very amazing mother. I am here until Shawn wakes up so that I can offer him one more chance. I feel like I owe him that much. I don't think I could live myself if I didn't give him one. But if he doesn't take it, I'm gone."
Angela was quiet. She knew that it was easy for him to say that, but he would never really be completely done with Shawn. It was their blessing and their curse, for him to have a big heart like he did and for her to love her husband so unconditionally. He had come along at a point in her life where she was just ready for a real, pure love. Cory had given her that so easily. They both should have been broken but it was never like that for them.
"He doesn't even know I'm pregnant," she lamented. "Or that Eric got married or that Morgan is graduating from college or that your parents just celebrated their 35th anniversary. He's missed so much this past year, Cor. I mean, does he even know about Mr. Feeny?"
Cory hung his head and shook it sadly. Shawn hadn't bothered to pick up the phone when Cory called to tell him that their childhood mentor had passed away three months ago. He hadn't had the heart to leave a message and had instead written him a letter. It was returned as undeliverable. Life had gone on without Shawn. These people who had once been everything to him meant nothing compared to the drugs.