The Stripper At My Stag Party
"How could we have fogotten the Doctor? He was the stripper at my stag party! Long story." Rory flashed a grin at his new mum-in-law and hopped out of his chair to greet the Doctor. He gave no thought to the words he had just uttered.
Until later.
On the TARDIS, Rory was pottering around his and Amy's new room. He rolled his eyes at the sight of bunk beds lodged in the corner, blanketed in thick downy comforters. They looked cozy enough, but still. Bunk beds. For a married couple. Several random objects were scattered around the room, and Rory wondered what the use the Doctor thought Rory and Amy could possibly have for something that looked like a bit of spare robot foot. Tossing the thing aside, he wondered again how they could have forgotten the Doctor and everything they had been through with him.
Wait. "How could we have fogotten the Doctor? He was the stripper at my stag party!" Rory froze. Had he actually said that? As if the only notable thing about the Doctor, who had only saved the entire bleeding universe, was that he had popped out of the stripper cake at Rory's stag. Not only that, but Rory had said this to his mum-in-law, who had no idea who the Doctor actually was and probably thought that the Doctor really had stripped.
A disconcerting image burst into Rory's head: the Doctor, the lower part of his body still concealed by the cake box, attempting to dance sensually (the Doctor was a rather bony and clumsy person and a horrible dancer, hence "attempting") while removing his jacket, shirt, and bowtie. No, the bowtie would stay on, wouldn't it? And it was absolutely not helping that the first time Rory had met the Doctor, he had actually seen the Time-Lord remove his clothes.
Rory cringed.
Right. A distraction. He needed something to distract him from the image in his head. Amy! Amy would be an excellent distraction! Last time he saw her she had been in the main control room, so that was where Rory headed.
Sure enough, she was leaning against the console. Rory beelined toward her, and, taking entirely no notice of anything else in the room, grabbed her face and press his lips energetically to hers.
"Mmph!...Mmmm…" He felt her surprise melt away, and soon she was kissing him back just as avidly. He ran his fingers through her hair and pressed against her and—
"Goodness, you two! Take a breath!" The Doctor's cheerful voice broke through their passion and Rory jerked away from his wife, startled.
"Honestly, I gave you two a room for a reason!" The Doctor grinned at them and dropped to the ground, pushed himself under the console, and began fiddling with cables. Rory fled, leaving his confused wife and an oblivious (stripper) Doctor behind him.
Amy gaped at her husband's retreating back then turned and looked down at the Doctor. "You wouldn't have any idea what that was about, would you?"
"You mean he doesn't normally do that?"
Amy rolled her eyes as she left to track down her crazy, errant husband. Men, she thought. They're all nutters.