Barry stayed in that living room for an hour before the others found him. He held his father's body in his arms and let his tears drop onto the blood soaked shirt.
The sobs tore out of him like zooms own clawed hand through his chest, and he didn't know if the tears would ever stop. His father's eyes were still open and Barry's hands itched to close them, to be able to pretend his father was merely asleep in his arms after a hard day's work. But he did not move to close them because that would have meant letting go of his body, and Barry didn't want to ever let go.
Barry felt as if his heart had been torn out of his chest, a terrible pain was ripping through him and he could hardly breathe through the pain of it or through his cries of agony. But he knew why it hurt. That was what happened when you lost your parents.
The speedster held his father in his arms and cursed the universe for being so cruel. Losing both parents. In front of him and in the same room; the years separating the events did nothing to lessen the raw pain he felt at the thought of both his parents' hearts being torn in half in the same damn room. His own heart was tearing in grief; shredding apart with the knowledge that the two people that brought him into this world, the two people that made the two halves of his whole, were no longer here. At least his heart would joins those of his parents.
Barry had held his mother as she died and now, only a few feet away, he did the same with his father. Both times defeated by a speedster faster than he. What good was his speed of he lost everyone to those who were faster?
Zooms taunting words, that acrid laugh; they were like echoes in Barry's mind; sharp and loud and stubborn like a stain that could not be removed. Zoom had killed his father and yet still he wanted more. And he would not leave his mind.
Henry Allen's body grew colder in Barry's arms as his blood stained the floor and the skin of Barry's hands. Those hands shook, tremors travelling through the speedster's body as if he could not contain the grief pouring through him, his body wanting to split in half to release it all.
The pain of losing his father was unlike anything he had ever experienced or ever wanted to experience again. Losing his mother had broken him, and losing his father had scattered the pieces to the wind, never to be whole again.
Barry didn't notice Joe or Iris arrive, his sobs covering up any noise of them entering the house. Joe laid a hand on his adoptive sons shoulder as he tried to pry his hands away from the body. But Barry shook those hands off, refusing to be moved, until the detective wrapped his arms around the boy and forced him away. Barry screamed and pounded his hands on the arms that held him but Joe simply wrapped his arms around his son and held tight.
Iris had her hands over her face, tears falling to match Barry's and she knelt in front of the hero.
"Barry I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
She didn't know what else she could say.
Iris watched Barry fall apart in her father's arms as his own father lay still on the ground.
"Iris, baby, call Caitlin and Cisco. We need to get Barry back to S. . Labs while I sort this out."
Iris could hear the tears in Joe's voice but he had to be strong for his children. She nodded and pulled out her phone, trying to find her breath and her courage.
"Iris! What happened? Did you find them-?"
"Henry's….. Barry's gonna need some help getting back to S.T.A.R." Her voice dripped to a whisper, thin on the verge of tears again, cracking on the last word. "He wouldn't let go of the body."
Iris could hear Cisco curse on the other end of the line before saying they'd be there soon.
Iris put the phone back in her pocket and wiped her face before turning back to the scene behind her. Joe had closed Henry's eyes and was still holding Barry, the boy now quiet save for the mumbles spilling from his trembling lips.
"Dad? Dad, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Dad, I'm sorry."
His tears hadn't stopped but he was no longer fighting Joe's hold, leaning back into his chest like he had lost the energy to hold himself up. He was staring at his dad and Iris wanted to throw up at the sight of his blood stained hands.
This shouldn't have happened. This shouldn't have happened AGAIN. Barry didn't deserve this. Iris wanted to hunt Zoom down and kill him herself. She wanted to hold her best friend and make him okay again. But she knew he never would be. He may recover, he may smile again in time, but he would never get over this loss.
Iris jumped when the door swung open, Caitlin and Cisco coming in with twin gasps and expressions of horror. Caitlin recovered first, taking a breath and crouching down next to Barry, who was oblivious to their entrance. Cisco followed, holding a shock blanket and a sheet. Caitlin was leaning down, trying to get Barry to look at her, while Cisco covered Henry with the sheet.
Barry's mumbling grew to panicked half-coherent shouts, and Iris covered her mouth again to stop from crying. Barry was fighting against Joe and Caitlin's restraining hands, trying to get back to his father.
"No, I can't leave him! I don't wanna leave him, please! Dad!" He was sobbing again and Iris could see how tired he was. He looked like he could have collapsed into himself and crumbled away to nothing, his body emptying out of everything that made him Barry and just leaving a shell. Everyone had their breaking point and everyone reacted differently to grief. She wasn't sure if Barry would survive this.
Joe had his arms around Barry again as the boy kicked and struggled, and though tears fell down Joe's cheeks he did not let go. He was talking to him, trying to get him to calm down.
"Come on Bar, you know what happens next. I need to all this in to the station. Let Caitlin take care of you. Shh Barry it'll be okay, just calm down. Please son."
Barry stopped struggling, falling almost limply back into Joe's arms. Caitlin had her hands on him, monitoring his vitals and checking him over before taking the shock blanket and wrapping it around him. Joe looked at the woman as she wrapped the boy up, silently asking her verdict.
Her voice was quiet and resigned, trying not to think of the man that did this.
"He's in shock. We'll take him back to the lab and keep him warm. I'll set up some IV's too, I don't think we're going to be able to get him to eat tonight. Physically he'll be okay, but… we'll stay with him while you deal with this."
Joe nodded and shifted behind the hero, kissing his hair before releasing him to the care of the two scientists, Cisco quickly placing himself behind his friend when he threatened to fall. Iris hugged her dad quickly before helping Caitlin and Cisco get Barry to his feet. He was still shaking and his legs didn't look steady enough to hold himself up. He hadn't yet taken his eyes off the body though it was now covered in the sheet.
Iris took his arm, attaching herself to his side to keep him up as Cisco did the same on the other side.
Barry didn't want to leave but he was too exhausted to fight and so he allowed himself to be led outside to the waiting van. Caitlin was talking to him, her soft words helping him to breathe a little easier as she pulled the blanket tighter around him. Cisco drove while Caitlin and Iris held Barry in the back. Barry hardly noticed the change of scenery when the van stopped and they tugged him into the building. He stared at his red hands till Iris wiped them clean, not moving even as they removed his flash suit and got him into his sweats.
He was pulled to a bed and tucked under blankets but his face remained wet with tears that wouldn't stop and he lay without wanting to sleep. His limbs were heavy as lead and he was so, so tired but Barry kept his eye open. If he slept, he would wake up the next day and lose his father all over again. He would wake, happy for a blissful moment before he remembered what had happened, and he would shatter all over again.
Iris watched Barry force his heavy eyes to stay open, and climbed into bed beside him, allowing him to curl against her and hide his tears in her neck. Caitlin sat beside the bed and took one of Barry's hands while Cisco sat and laid a hand on Barry's knee. Barry's heavy heart beat a little stronger at their presence, knowing that while he had lost his parents, he still had a family. And Zoom would not win.
Iris held him till he fell asleep, and held him through the nightmares. And in the morning she held him still. Barry may have been broken but all his little pieces would be found and put back together. That's what family does.