UPDATE! Hello everyone! Im terribly sorry for the lack of updates within the recent months truly I am, Life just sort of took control and decided to kick my ass. Now let me just say it really feels good to be writing again well...much more then i had in recent months. In my last update i told you all about my grandmothers condition, and well her declination is slow she's become much less mobile then she had been, its become harder for her to walk and move around and Ive spent many late nights watching over her because of her tendency to want to get out of bed in the middle of the night. In the middle of working, and helping my grandma i somehow managed to get enter into a fandom of a show I hadn't watched in a while. I don't know if any of you watched, or heard of a show called The100 but let me just say…after catching up to the current season..well it fucked me up quite a bit. I wont go into details of what happened, because it was quite triggering for a lot of people as I've come to find out…and I can honestly say that I'm still heartbroken over what happened. (I'd like to take this moment to give a shout out to any who are part of the Kru and to any who are still broken over whats happened and been done Ste yu Kru, Our gonplei ste nou oden)
Honestly everyone all i can say is that with grandma and the broken heartedness i felt from watching the100 the will to write was just…I just couldn't do it. When i found the time to write especially after what happened in the show maybe a few words at a time or nothing at all, because where we are in The Martyr..well certain characters are hurting…and i feel for the characters all of them. i feel for the characters on the show, those hurt by what happened, and when i had those moments to just look at my grandma and take in this wonderful woman, my mind went all cynical because i had that little voice in the back of my head telling me..one day she's not even going to remember who I am…one day she's going to be where grandpa was last year..one day I'm going to wake up and not find her there, getting to spend another day with each other and letting her know everything is ok because now its my turn to take care of her…. i know depressing, and with it having been a year since the deaths of my Grandpa, Uncle, and cousins all around the same time with everything else and a few other things going on in my life...didn't help me either…I was literally in an emotional hole and i had felt like a robot just going through the motions with each new day because i was afraid to feel…i didn't want to hurt anymore. Now i know some of you reached out to me and let me know you're there if i ever needed someone to talk to and i am grateful for you reaching out to me, but knowing myself i just closed off.
This is going to sound absolutely cheesy but no joke what got me out of my hole was after knocking myself silly (I ran into my closet door…i know not my finest moment) a song from my phone came on that i forgot i had started playing and the lyrics spoke to me more in that moment and i broke down while in the middle of my dizzy emotional break down my dog found me in and i started laughing while crying i realized everything was going to be ok despite what was happening and what i knew would happen, that i couldnt stay down and the only way to get through was to move forward. and then i started laughing even harder at the irony because in that moment i understood the meaning of a martyr or well at least one definition of the word. strange how things work isn't it? Anyways i just needed to get that off my chest, after several attempts to get back in the groove of things I now have updates for you lovely readers, now i don't know if they're up to par with the story(s) but I'll let you all decide on that.
I know i usually give individual responses to your reviews but i'm a bit excited to post after as well as it being super late and i need to get in at least 3 hours of sleep to take on the day but i want you all to know that i do enjoy what you all have to say it puts a smile on my face and lets me know im doing a good job with things, truly your words make me happy. Your constructive criticism is appreciated as well, it helps me grow as a writer so don't be afraid to tell me where you think i could have done better.Please excuse any and all mistakes, typos, word changes, autocorrections etc. i literally just skimmed through everything. Ok you've all waited enough seriously but as always everyone please,
Read,Review,Enjoy \(^.^)/
Chapter 1: Homecoming
"When the summer's sun is hiding and,Winds are harsh against our backs,Everything seems to overlap..I'll sing in your memory All the times you've spent with me,We've lost your name but I'll sing for you"….It is in moments of decision destiny is shaped, The Prophecy stated one with unknown birth would rise, defeat a serpent, choose sorrow over Happiness there by proving their worth as next High King….Truly it takes a heart of gold to achieve such acts one of great moral, but the details the prophets seem to forget..are that gold is unfeeling priced from face value…but to dig and scratch beneath the surface there is where the true value lies for if you scratch the surface of a hero…what lies beneath..
The sky was dark with clouds as a light drizzle of rain fell. A cool breeze passed by as a lone figure on horse back trotted slowly to their destination. Stopping amidst the fields of a home they had known all their life, where love and happiness always a constant. As if sensing the great homecoming the light rain ceased and clouds began to disperse. Allowing the brightness of the morning sun to cast its rays on the reunion yet to come. The rider's companion a rather small grey owl hooted happily,"Yes my friend...we are home." A smile crept across the the hooded riders lips as they continued onward.
From the instant they stepped foot within the threshold of home, the bird flew from their masters shoulder hooting as if shouting happily to the gods in the heavens. Such commotion did not go unnoticed though, Coll the blacksmith and teacher the prodigal wanderer knew since they could remember stalked out from his work place, a scowl marring his face. Even after all this time the man look just as she remembered, a bald burly man who always seemed to glow a shade of pink. The scowl marring his face turned into one of caution and his tone as he spoke was one of such as well as intimidation."Who are you stranger? You'll find nothing worth of value here."
She smirked then realizing he had yet to recognize her, though it mostly due to the hood hiding her face,"You are mistaken sir, for it is here I find something greater then any gold or shiny trinket." She stated while dismounting
"What might that be lass?" The smirk she bore turned into a toothy grin,"Home." Slowly the rider lifted her hands and removed her hood. And the man smiled brightly upon seeing the 'strangers' face,"My..a fine young woman you've grown to be." Coll walked toward the young woman before scooping her up into a bear hug,"Welcome back lass! We've missed you so!"
Just then a small shaggy humanoid looking creature came upon them latching himself to her back,"Hooray! Mighty warrior princess has returned!"
"Haha Gurgi! It's nice to see you too!" Loud squawking was heard then with the hooting of her owl, as the sound of her name echoed from the raven's beak."What's going on out here!?"
"A welcoming what do you think boy!" The young warrior turned her head in the direction of the young mans voice finding one she had known all her life, one she called brother. He smiled just as Coll had upon realizing who she was. He ran toward the small group pulling the only sibling he knew from the other mans embrace only to give one of his own.
"Look at you!"
"Me look at you!? Last time I saw you, you were in mid transition from boy to man haha!"
"Well you've grown up too! Look at these tattoos..." The young woman pushed him away keeping him at arms length,"Don't you dare start with that Taran." He laughed at the sight of her defensive gesture,"Wouldn't think of it. They fit you well. I had thought you back before I, yet when I returned you were not home tell me sister what took you so long?"
"Yes please do tell what it was that took you so long to return home. Imagine my homecoming when I found that neither of you were here." The duo snapped to attention turning to face the one who spoke. Only finding a pair of blue eyes with a curious amusement within them,"Ah..yes well, I can't really say...I just know it was far more exciting then learning how to become a proper lady."
"Ha churning butter is more exciting then such, doesn't make it any better." The blonde scoffed playfully,"Besides it wasn't like I was not a lady in the first place." The three young people paused, grins slowly growing on their lips before laughing."It's good to see you too, Princess Eilonwy." The warrior bowed respectively causing Gurgi to slide forward off her back and the others to giggle and chuckle. With a roll of her eyes she undid her cloak. The heavy looking fabric fell to the ground settling atop her furry friend.
"Well now look at that more tattoos. Alas why am I not surprised." Taran teased
"Aye but that's not all, look at the strength in her arms. I'd hate to tussle with you lass, your as deadly now as you were before." Coll said with a wink."Well I hope I'm not the only one."
"Well I would take the tattoos rather then Curtsies and weaving." Eilonwy began,"Do you have any idea how weary and dreary it is to live in a castle with so many rules. They made me sleep in beds stuffed with goose feathers, pillows enough to stifle you! I'm sure the geese..." This rambling on made the other girl chuckle fondly. How she missed this,"What?" The Princess questioned.
"Nothing...just that I've missed you so. And yet still have to receive a hug."
"By the gods Tana..." The blonde muttered but obliged the request hinted. Eilonwy just a few inches shorter then herself practically jumped onto her. The princess' arms wrapped strongly around her neck as she pushed herself flush against her."Ive missed you too." She whispered into Tana's ear. The warrior hugged back just as tightly both holding on as if never wanting to let go. Only separating when Coll cleared his throat,"Uh..so I brought you all some gifts." Tana said a bit awkwardly trying hard not to blush from the show of affection she and the princess had. Eilonwy had a harder time hiding such a reaction as her skin was fairer then the tanned, sun kissed skin the warrior had.
"Really even for me?"
"Of course Gurgi you are my friend." The shaggy haired creature jumped up and down excitedly. Tana smiled brightly at her family, eyes glancing toward the one she really needed to speak with. When the excitement of her coming home wore down maybe then she and her special person could have that talk she's desired since her departure.
~x~
Tana walked her rounds a second time around the camp. Her homecoming had been short lived and the day she had in Caer Dallben passed much too quickly for her liking. Fflewddur had burst in to the happy reunion a near death lord Gwydion half slung across his shoulder. They had been tricked and the son of Don had been ambushed by none other then the lord of death himself Arawn. It had been quite a reunion as even the new King Rhun was there to welcome her as well as Glew the former giant. Dallben himself had remained away but was happy she had returned. Though as things grew grim with the passing events so did he. Now Tana found herself once again keeping watch over her companions save for one because the damned woman couldn't take no for an answer. Archen had went off to retrieve the enchanted sword the prince held for years since Eilonwy had gifted him with it.
"Not even one day back and already out on the road again. Ha maybe I should become a bard at least then it make sense of all the travel." She grumbled to no one."And where would the excitement be if not on adventure seeking glory and riches as you once did." Tana turned swiftly drawing her her dagger. Sighing at the sight of the princess."Oh I assure you there would be more then excitement more an uproar really." She said grinning charmingly. A blonde brow lifted then, blue eyes looking on curiously,"Care to tell me how?"
"I think I'd rather show." With that the brunette walked up to the other girl encircling her slim waist with strong arms,"I still don't understand what it is that would cause such uproar." A smirk grew on the other girls face before closing the distance between them. The younger girl whimpered, then moaned at the sensation of a tongue begging for entrance to her mouth, which she gave willing. Eilonwy brought her arms around the taller girls neck pulling them closer until they became flush. It was not until air was needed that they separated to breathe.
"I've missed you so my love." The warrior spoke softly."And I you my dearest..you have changed greatly since I last lay my eyes upon you. You have no idea how horrible such learning was to be undertaken. It was completely and utterly boring." And it was true when Eilonwy had last seen her warrior she had been but a girl in her teens. Of course they had wished each other a goodbye and Tana had spoken of her own trials that she had to face. But it didn't help the longing she felt being separated from her beloved for so long. Tana's dark brown hair had grown longer passed her shoulder blades now. Small braids hung in several places one in particular behind her ear held strange looking beads and a feather at the braids end. The small section of white hair atop her crown seemed brighter with an silvery shine to it reminiscent of a stars shine and the tattooing upon the Warriors face added to the beauty she held. But it was always that smile that made her melt, her dimpled chin becoming more pronounced when she did and the small ones upon her cheeks showed. Yes Eilonwy missed that smile greatly, yet still the other woman's eyes is what topped all. Yes those intense orbs held colors not seen in anyone amongst their travels together, or amongst any that she had ever seen.
When they were but children they had mostly been as black as the darkest night without the stars and moon, a small burst of royal purple around the pupil. However as they grew into adulthood those eyes began to change and mix, her beloved had had to leave months before her seventeenth birthday Dallben hadn't explained why but that she must or she may very well perish. Of course Tana sent letters of her travel and of her time spent with people she had learned were like herself. Though they had stopped for a time Eilonwy hadn't given up hope that they would see each other again.
Now she looked into piercing eyes that seemed to glow in the night all their own. The moon adding to the effect making them seem mystic and otherworldly. The small purple burst had spread into intricate swirls, mixing and blending leaving the black more as a back ground color. Tiny specks of silver shone clearly amongst both colors as if they were tiny stars. Black rings lined both iris and pupil. Within the outer ring shown faint silver runic symbols. The inner ring lining the pupils held a silver crescent moon which itself was but an outline within it more silver colored runic symbols with more starting from each point becoming smaller until fading completely on the other side. This design was mirrored and so looked as if both eyes were to be pushed together would have made a full moon.
The other girls choice of dress hadn't changed much either. She had always donned that of what any boy or man would wear and even now that did not change. However Eilonwy never did not understand how her love was able to withstand the cold that was soon to intensify from the coming winter. However it was the quality of such clothing that did catch her blue eyes. Tana had never been one for appearance and showed it even now, despite the quality of fabric. Her knee high black boots were muddy, pants plain black except for the design on the side of the legs which looked silver. A sleeveless grey shirt showing off tattooed arms which held noticeable muscle but it was lean and toned not bulky like a mans. Her right bicep just before the bend of the elbow was covered in swirls and designs from the likes the princess had never seen before, the left arm held the same designs though not as much to completely cover the cap of her shoulder but enough to even out the designs of the other arm.
A black outer shirt that only came over her right shoulder. The hems trimmed in silver, a deep purple sash hung across the same shoulder held in place by the dark leather belt at her waist the end coming down as far as the outer shirt much like a loin cloth. The sash embroidered with intricate designs of stars and the moon. Two black arm bands ebbed with silver on each bicep as well as the black bracers upon her wrists. The brunette was every bit a warrior even if some didn't think so but it was not the way she dressed nor the weapons she carried that made men think other wise. No it was the way Tana carried herself, the way she stood and talked. The one she loved indeed went away as a girl returning to her as a woman.
"I was not the only one...you have grown more beautiful then I last remember."
"Is that all that's changed about me?" Tana grinned kissing the blonde once more,"Only that now you are of age to wed and I have every intention of making you mine." Eilonwy giggled,"My how the mighty have fallen was it not you who swore never to marry or settle."
"Yes well it was you who dared to show me other wise. Is it not fair that I make it official?" The princess gave a chaste kiss giving everything she had into that kiss showing her beloved that she loved her with all her being."As happy as that would make me my love... It cannot be so" she whispered sadly after pulling back. Lifting a hand, a finger gently caressing and tracing the design of the tattooing on the side of her lovers face,"A union such as ours...it is unheard of and forbidden, no such bearing can come of it." Blue eyes blinked rapidly then as Eilonwy turned her face to hide her tears. She longed to be with Tana the way any other woman would for a man. But it could not be it was not allowed especially one of her status. She was tasked with continuing her line being as she was the last but she could not do so...not with her true love.
However before she could pull from the embrace to end what would probably the greatest thing that's happened to her, the princess felt a single finger lift her chin. Guiding it so she met those gorgeous eyes,"Do not cry my love, it hurts me so to see tears stain your face."
"How can I not? We must end this. End what has grown between us...no matter how hard it hurts me to, I knew this day would come but...but I just...oh why does it have to be so hard. I love you Tana. I love you with everything that I am it is not fair that I have to give you up."
"And you will not have to." Eilonwy looked hopeful yet saddened and sorrowful. She gripped her warriors face,"How? How can you know that? The law-" the grip Tana had on the slim waist tightened as she straightened her stance, gaze unwavering into the azure orbs she'd come to adore,"Because, I am not bound by the laws of men. Their laws have no hold over the actions I do, nor who I chose to do them with."
"What?"
"My princess I am that which came before. I am of the blood, of the first born. The children that came long before the creatures and beings we know now. I follow no rule but my own and the one true God." The blonde princess tilted her headed a bit stunned and confused by what her lover was saying,"Tana what are you saying? You can't possibly mean...those were just stories. I-it can't be..."
"It is my love it is. I do not wish to love another because I can not my heart my very essence is yours to command because it you I am meant as well as chosen to be with. And because I have chosen you I can not choose another. You are my one true mate." Tears fell from beautiful blue eyes as the princess tried to wrap her mind around what her love was saying could it be? Was she really of the Ëldār blood?
"H-how is that possible? It was said the fall of the golden empire..."
"It destroyed the empire yes...but it did not kill the people...my people. They are scattered and broken yes but they are strong and hold on to the hope that we will one day rise to take back that which is ours. To unify the broken empire." Eilonwy pulled from the embrace pacing as she spoke,"Is that what you plan to do? To leave us here? To leave me here? To chase after some broken dream? What about Prydain?! Taran everyone here? Would you leave them behind to help-" Tana stopped the princess' pacing once again holding her flush."No my love I wouldn't dream of it. My home is here...with our friends...with you."
"What does any of this have to do with us? How does this keep us together..." She asked in a whisper. Speaking just as softly the warrior replied,"Because when one of my kind chooses a mate...we are too proud and stubborn to choose another. Our chosen is marked with the symbol of what's called the Vala. Only our true mates will adorn the color of our markings." Eilonwy gasped then snapping her head up to look up into luminous eyes. She swallowed hard as her love continued on,"Do you bear such marks..."
The princess nodded slowly before speaking,"Oh...oh by the gods...then..then.."
"I know this is a lot...but you are not of the Ëldār..there for you do not have to accept this. If you wish you may walk away, you can. Just know I will never love another but you." Eilonwy looked into those mystic eyes thinking everything over. If this was true then by right of birth alone Tana had claim to anything she wished and none but her kind could say other wise. Her warrior was of the first blood, a guardian sentinel. She knew though that she could walk away, do what was expected of her and marry a man. Marry the young man that Tana called brother. Yes, Eilonwy knew. She knew Taran was in love with her for quite some time now. She had dreaded what he had wanted to ask when he'd arrived back at Caer Dallben. But her love was back now and she had dreamed of marrying her, having a family with her...this was so hard. Her heart said one thing while her head said another...
"I know I am no man my princess but I assure you I would do anything to make you happy. And if it's children that has you worried, fear not for there are ways for us to bear children of both our lines without you laying with a man...but I will not burden you with this further. Come love let us return to camp it is time for Taran's watch." The warrior released the slim body and bowed her head slightly as she slowly began to back away.
Moments later Eilonwy called to the older girl, who stopped."I choose you..I choose you" she began saying. Repeating it again and again louder each time."Tana I choose you!" With a happy smile the brunette ran back to the princess lifting and twirling her."haha oh my love are you sure?"
The blonde smacked her beloved's shoulder once standing again,"Youuuuu...of course I am. If our love has a chance then I would take it, rather then live in regret of would could have been."
"It will not be easy."
"When has it ever? Our fates our tied love, and when this is all over I would see it made official...I wish to be your wife...and.." Eilonwy blushed a bit at the thought but still spoke shyly,"perhaps bear you a son, a daughter...oh I wish to start a family with you my love.."
Tana silenced the rambling with a kiss. The blonde sighing in content as she wrapped her arms around the brunettes neck. Pulling back Tana grinned,"Should we start now...it may take a few try's but-ow!"
"Idiot...you haven't even lain with me yet and you're already thinking of making babies."
I Hope you all like the first chapter of Ashes of Eden :) this story is part of my Martyrverse the answers as to how and why well…you'll find out soon enough tehe ;)
Also does anyone know what song the lyrics used at the the beginning of the summary is from? if you know then kudos cause you're awesome if you do hehe ;D