She knew that what she felt was irrelevant, and it broke her.
Pearl couldn't quite shake the feeling of loss, couldn't rid herself of the pain. She thought she had, once, but the very notion of forgetting Rose Quartz was ridiculous to her. She would return to the battlefield, long, long after the war, and would hope to hear her voice again.
It was an outlandish thought, she knew, but still, she hoped.
She prayed.
She cried.
It was only Garnet who could comfort her on those nights. The nights when the sheer memory of Rose would bring Pearl to tears. Sapphire and Ruby understood the pain of loss. She didn't know this at the time, however. She couldn't even think most nights. Just Rose. Only Rose. Rose, Rose, Rose.
Her Rose. Her dearest Rose. God, she missed her.
Sometimes, even looking at Steven would cause her to burst into tears. The gem, his gem. Rose's gem.
They couldn't understand, Pearl would think to herself on her worst nights. They can't possible know what I had with her.
She wished she had more. So much more.
Pearl has never felt so vulnerable, really, she hasn't.
Even now, she mimics Rose's body language. She imitates her speech patterns. In a pathetic attempt at remembering the closest thing she has ever felt to love.
Rose used to hold her. Rose raised her, Rose saved her life. Rose made her who she was today.
Yes indeed, Pearl was a broken gem.
It was one such night, a night where her tears kept her from sleep, that she stood with Rose Quartz's blade.
Her eyes ran with tears, her voice cracked. The silent hologram in front of her smiled down at her, oblivious.
"My Pearl"