"Cracks in the Road"
A compilation of cracked pairings.

~o~

Part One: "Record of Le Experiment"

Disclaimer: As always, Fire Emblem and the characters therein are subject to the ownership of Nintendo and IS.
I only own the ideas that flow from brain to pen and the situations that I place said characters into

~o~

He wasn't hiding.

Yes, he was sitting behind the rows of bookshelves in the library, and yes, that served to hide him from sight. But Erk was under no illusion as to how well such concealment would serve him; starting with Louise and carried on like some strange tradition by every other female that he'd had the dubious pleasure of keeping company with, each girl had been able to find him no matter the location. Usually it was within minutes of his extricating himself and following the painfully exact steps to pick an appropriate location and hiding his person within it.

So he wasn't hiding. He was waiting.

It wouldn't have mattered anyway, as she claimed to already have a spell that could find him.

Sure enough, only an hour had gone by before she appeared, lips pressed into a frown as she peered up at him from the floor. Had he forgotten to mention that his seat was atop the ladder that was mostly used to retrieve books from the top shelves? Erk thought she might be pouting, but she didn't comment on his seating.

"What are we studying today?"

Erk sighed and close his tome, he'd just gotten to the good parts again. "Lute, didn't you insist that you alone knew what subject would be worthy of your attentions?"

The petite mage appeared to be considering climbing up the ladder to join him, so Erk hastened to set his tome back into its niche on the shelf and then descending to meet her; the last time that he'd had a girl on the same ladder, it had fallen sideways and nigh dropped him on his head. When he reached the bottom rung and stepped off onto firmer ground, Lute finally responded by reaching out and grabbing his arm.

"Of course I could have chosen something for us to study together, but even a picture of perfection such as myself can understand that there are times where a lesser member of an association might wish to guide the course into venues that interest them. As your better half, I thought it appropriate to leave the course of today's study in your capable hands." Lute leaned against him and sighed in what Erk hoped was contentment. "Though if you wish, I suppose we could start out by finding out whether Pegasus wings make for an acceptable aphrodisiac."

Lesser men feared Lute's discourse.

Erk merely quirked an eyebrow at her. "Hadn't you heard? Lord Lowell debunked the whole theory of any part of a Pegasus being useful in that capacity several years ago. The whole scheme was traced back to an obscure Bernese sect who worship wyverns as lesser incarnations of the great dragons of legend."

"So it was to counter the one effective threat to the supremacy of the wyvern in air to air combat? How disappointing." Lute sighed, this time with more feeling. "And I'd been so close to convincing one of the knights to give me a handful of feathers to use in my experiments. I don't suppose there was any room for doubt with his arguments?"

"None. Though if you wanted to learn about aphrodisiacs, I'm certain there are a few yet listed that haven't yet had a thesis written on the subject." Erk was gratified to see his companion perk up at his statement. He led the way over to another corner of the library and dragged down several smaller tomes for perusal.

"If anything in here strikes your fancy, we'll investigate. Alright?"

Lute nodded absently, having already opened one of the tomes and begun her research. Erk shrugged before cracking open one the books and beginning his own delving for knowledge. Who would have thought he'd be looking up this when he woke up today?

Well, at least it was all for a good cause.

~o~

Their joint study session lasted until Lute tired of reading and wanted to move to practical applications. Obtaining the ingredients was easy, preparing them easier still for a genius in mystical studies. The snag in the plan was where to find an appropriate test subject or subjects, as the case may be. Lute was quite willing to test the substance that they'd concocted, until Erk pointed out that testing it on themselves would not allow Lute to write up any observations immediately.

That led to the tiny mage dragging him around the enclave in search of other victims to use in the test. Lute stopped in front of the arena, where several persons were engaging in mock battle. "This will suffice."

Erk was happy enough that he could cease lugging around the heavy stone jar that held their concoction. While Lute busied herself setting up her observation stand and setting out drinks, Erk sank down on the floor exhausted. It wasn't exactly the purview of mages to be used as pack animals, after all.

Come to think of it, he'd done more running around today than he had in a long while. In fact, he was starting to grow annoyed. Unfortunately, by the time he'd caught his breath and thought to protest, Lute had already served several of the persons in the arena the drink. Letting out a long suffering sigh, Erk resigned himself to seeing the process through to the end. He didn't have much choice anymore, after all.

At least no one that he knew was anywhere in the vicinity.

He rescinded that thought when a female knight walked past; Dame Isadora had apparently decided that it was a good time to get in some sparring with a partner in the arena. Erk watched as she began to warm up with her lance, the moves that she utilized in battle practiced in slow motion. Her opponent was not long in showing himself, a young man who wielded the spear as though it were an extension of himself.

This was one who had mastered his weapon. Interested, Erk continued to watch as the two sparred, noting the difference in styles as they alternately attacked and defended. Isadora was outmatched with the lance, but she held advantage when they switched to using swords. Her opponent held basic knowledge of the weapon, but had probably not used it in an actual campaign.

It seems that Isadora is pressing her advantage when she suddenly stops and disengages. Erk blinks in disbelief and absently accepts the cup of tea that Lute hands him. The break in the combat puzzles him, though it seems that both combatants are breathing hard. He is even more confused when Isadora tackles her partner out of his line of sight.

"How does it taste? Describe it please." Lute interjects into his private musings, not startling, but providing a clean cut from pondering the questions that have begun to assault his mind. He sips from the cup in his hand, swallows, and takes a second sip. He rolls the liquid over his tongue before swallowing, attempting to properly analyze the taste.

"Tastes of ginger and honey, perhaps too heavily spiced."

Lute nods and records his statement with delicate scritches of her pen. She looks back up and he notes a flush beginning to suffuse her features. "Anything else to note?"

Erk frowns. What else? Oddly, he notes a pleasant warmth radiating from his center and... he flushes as he realizes that he is aroused. The odd choke that he emits upon clueing into the signs seems to set off his partner. Lute smiles that odd little smile that often bodes ill for anyone involved.

"It worked, as I suspected." Then she pounces.

The last thing that he notices before Lute swallows his rod of power and effectively narrows his focus is a russet haired knight being jumped by a woman with violet tresses...

~o~

Erk would later write a wildly popular series of manuscripts, all based upon the real life adventures of his strange (and beloved) partner. To be fair, she never had to trick him with the study of aphrodisiacs again.

~o~

AN: Pairings considered for this work included: Eliwood/Isadora, Ephraim/Isadora, Franz/Eirika, Seth/Marisa, Erk/Lute, and Tactician/Any. While Erk/Lute won out over the rest, there was a nod to a couple of the other odd pairings in the fic. Whether or not I get around to writing them their own points remains to be seen, since I have other fic projects. Ah hell, I'll probably do it just for fun one of these days.

Fire Emblem Challenge 15. Erk/Lute (1335 words)