When lovers turn into best friends again...
by Danni

Summary: She never thought that they would turn again into best friends after all. But then again she didn't think they would turn into lovers in the first place.AN: Just read Sab's christmas story, and yea I really had tears in my eyesthanks and I have to say yesterday I watched the 'ER'- episode in which Carter returns with his pregnant girlfriend and Abby is sad., (well I do like 'ER' very much too, yea maybe 'cause Marg was the one getting George Clooney while she was in five episodes and Jorja didn't get him at all after being longer in 'ER'), anyway it made me sad and somehow reminded me of our beloved Cath and Gil, well I just had to write this. And yea it is sad, but anyway I hope you'll read it.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, including all the above mentioned.
Rating: PG- for sadness?

Not that long ago we've been more than friends
so much more than friends
we've been lovers back then

after two decades of being best friends
somehow we thought after a while
we'd be meant for each other

it had been perfect
but it's hard to remind myself
it was perfect

until one day you went away
you said you needed to go away
to help someone and you did

you wrote me letters and everything was fine
but we didn't see each other very often then
and we drifted apart

the daily phonecalls turned into monthly letters
and monthly letters turned into
4 time-a-year letters

and when all the I love you's at the end of every one
didn't turn into I love you more anymore
it just returned as I love you

then it became just love you
and after a certain time
it was just with love, your
and then your best

and in the end we again
were at your best friend
yea after all this it had returned
to best friend again instead
of lover or sweetheart

I knew it wouldn't work that way
and I was scared of loosing you
and in the end I was right
'cause I did

you came back someday
just like before you left
but I lost you
not physically
but mentally

and well I saw you everyday
but it was different
and then one day you came into work
but not alone
someone was with you

and you introduced her as your girlfriend
I smiled but I wasn't happy
and I am sure you weren't either
but it wasn't what mattered

you had a new one
and she couldn't read you the way I did
she didn't know that you just pretended to be happy
but I knew you weren't

I was shocked as I shook her hand
but I pretended to be happy
I saw that glimpse of happiness in her eyes
and in yours too
but yours hadn't the sparks in them I used to see back then

I never told you I wasn't happy for you
and you didn't tell me either
so we both went apart from each other
drifting even more away from one another

but neither of us cared to tell the other one
what he really feels
and so we just let our love fade away
just like our friendship did in the last two decades

I have always been the one of us
who wanted to talk about everything
and when I didn't want
you talked me into talking to you

but when you were my reason
that I didn't want to talk about
and I was yours
then we didn't find anyone to talk to
'cause you have always been the one listening to me
and I was the one listening to you

and now we both ended up crying
not willing someone to know
crying ourselves into sleep

and dreaming of memories we had
and of those we could have had
if things had turned out to be different
and we had had the courage to talk to each other

two weeks into your new relationship
I caught you in your office deep in thoughts
staring at a blank white paper

seeing you this way I knew what I had to do
and when I layed my heart on the table between us
you told me that you never loved anyone else
and from that moment on I knew we were meant to be

and yes well the I love you's in our letters
turned into best friend once before
but after all you are so much more to me than
just the one I love

after all you are still my best friend
which doesn't mean that you aren't my lover and partner and my life too
it just means that you're my world
and that I'm lost without you

but when your eyes say it
I know that you still love me and always will

END