(This fic was typed before a live studio audience. Every thing in this fic is true, and by true, I mean false. All characters are OC's, with a few exceptions towards chapter 3 and much later.)
Chapter One: Let's Start From the Top…
Damien Farrell stared out at the roaring crowd as his defeated opponent slid to the ground. His pokemon roared their approval as their master entered the hallowed Tetra hall of champions. As he entered the hallowed Hall of Champions, he happened to glance back as the Martians launched the full-scale invasion of Earth.
"Perfect. That's just perfect. The one time I manage to complete my lifelong dream, it turns out I'm still asleep! Perfect." Damien watched as the invasion force took over almost the entire world, only to find themselves outmatched by a four-year-old with a pointy stick. (Don't question this.) He then woke, extremely bored and confused, as always.
After breakfast, Damien proceeded to have another argument with his parents about him leaving home. "We still say you're too young!" "If you don't let me go, this fanfiction will have no content beyond the end of this paragraph!" "You make a valid point, which we shall now ignore. Hang on, does that mean we don't get paid?" "Yes, I'm afraid so." "In that case, you can go." "Kickass!"
Later that day, Damien waited by a sign for Jim, who was his best friend due to the fact that they were the only teenagers in the town, mainly because it had only four buildings. Does that even count as a town? Please submit your opinion. But I digress.
After a slightly unreasonable amount of time, which would have amounted to about three or four paragraphs, except that would have been boring, Jim arrived. "Dude, where were you? We had to cut out our backstories!" "Sorry, I was held up by a squirrel on laxatives." "Oh, sweet Jesus! Are you okay, dude?" "I just need to sit down…" replied Jim, and he promptly fainted.
After Jim recovered, the two boys set off for the next town. Damien produced a pokemon egg from his extremely heavy pack, which contained, among other things, a map, a bicycle, much, much pie, and $3000 that he found down the back of the couch. "Dude, where'd you get that egg?" "According to the author, it was a birthday present." "Ooops." "Yeah, you forgot it."
They stopped to set up camp in a conveniently placed stretch of open ground in the middle of the forest. Damien pulled a tent and a hammock from his bag. A few minutes later, Jim asked Damien something. "Can I ask you something?" "You just did, mate." "Hahahahaha. Why is your egg glowing?" "I dunno. Special effects?" "Cool."