It's my birthday, I was bored and this story just popped into my head….I don't think as Cagalli quite like this, but it seems fitting nonetheless, it's gonna be way out-of-character, and I don't really like doing OoC's, but like I said, I can picture her in this situation, so it's ok…just another look at lives during war…I mean all the characters were kinda messed up….it's a plausible idea I think….well enjoy….oh and there might be incest….but not intentionally….
It was a mistake.
It should have never happened, but now it was too late.
She was carrying some extra baggage.
Now nobody could ever say she was not a woman.
In the early days, right after it happened, she had thought of abortion, but after finding out how it was done, she opted against it. It sounded to painful and cruel.
It all happened so fast. It was in the heat of the moment. It was not supposed to happen.
Two young good-looking people brought together by coincidence. Two people sharing the same life for a couple of hours; and changing their lives forever.
She couldn't even start to explain how it happened.
Every time she tried to relive that moment, she only remembered his green eyes. She didn't even remember his face. It was like she was drunk.
And maybe she was drunk. Drunk on her own need for love.
It was war, and the battlefield is a lonely place.
She found the opportunity and she took it, not thinking about the consequences.
She only remembered feeling needed by someone.
His body felt so desperate on top of hers, the way he desperately kissed her, caressed her, for some reason that desperation comforted her own desperate heart.
Their bodies moved in a violent fashion, so desperate, that it hurt, but that pain felt good to her. Now that she thought back, maybe there was blood. It had been her first time after all.
But that only brought comfort for some time.
After he was done ravishing her body, all that darkness returned.
The way he abruptly pulled away hurt. She felt her heart being torn apart. She wasn't needed anymore, he was done using her; she felt raped.
'Why did it happen?' she asked herself, alone in her room.
She was too young to be a mother. She was only sixteen and she didn't even want to be a mother! In all her life she never thought of herself as a mother, but now she was carrying a stranger's child.
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in.," she said.
The door opened revealing her friend. "Hey, taking a break?" she asked.
"Yeah I'm taking a break from the bridge." Her friend replied.
"Miriallia…" she started but didn't know what to say.
"Yes?" her friend inquired.
"Do you…do you ever feel lost? Lonely, like there is no place for you in the world? Used?" she asked.
"Um, yes sometimes, but then I remember I have Tolle and all my friends and I'm ok. I guess it's just this war that makes us feel so distraught."
"Yeah I guess it is this war." But it wasn't only the war. Miriallia had someone she could lean on to when she felt overwhelmed. Somebody that only had eyes and ears for her. Yes, she too had friends, but friends are shared, and not one was only exclusive to her. This war had brought to surface many things.
She had always been used; from the time she was a kid.
She was the princess of Orb; she had a way to do things. She couldn't just run amuck. She couldn't just be a child, and now what remained of her childhood had just flown out the window.
She was a soldier, a princess, a public figure; she couldn't be pregnant, and even worse from a total stranger.
She wanted this pain to end.
She needed to fill that void in her heart.
And she started to walk a dangerous line to do that.