A/N: Post-Ep fic for 10x24 'A New position for Roz'
Roz was startled awake form her sleep by a knock on the front door. She yawned and stretched out her free arm, holding Alice who had fallen asleep sprawled across her body with the other. The title screen from the lion king DVD they had watched was still playing on a loop, and the melodic tune of circle of life was chiming quietly in the background.
There was another knock at the door.
"Roz? Roz I know you're in there. Please do open up."
Roz kept her eyes shut and decided to wait it out, she was tired and embarrassed, completely emotionally immobilized by what had happened earlier at Frasier's apartment with Julia. Anyways she rationalized, it was hard enough time putting Alice to bed these days as it was. She expected another knock, Frasier was nothing if not persistent, but instead she heard a twist and click as he unlocked the door with her spare key that she had given him. She made a split second decision to feign sleep for as long as she possibly could, hoping he would not be so presumptuous as to wake her up. Roz listened intently as he opened the door carefully and as his foot steps came closer.
After a few seconds of silence her eyes shot open as she felt hands slipping between her and Alice as Frasier picked the little girl up, cool knuckles accidently dragging against Roz's warm skin where her shirt had ridden up. Roz immediately missed her daughter's warmth and instinctively curled up on her side and for a brief moment met Frasier's gaze. He whispered to her almost inaudibly as he cradled Alice's tiny form in his arms, "I'll be back in a second."
She pulled the blanket off the back of the sofa and wrapped herself in it making an attempt to sit upright. Even though her mind was racing a thousand miles, a second turned into a minute turned into two and she drifted off, head slumping over to the side.
She woke up to a very quiet, "Roz."
She mumbled in return as a tentative hand brushed the hair that had fell into her face behind her ear.
"Roz, I-" Frasier took a step back and paced awkwardly, playing with his hands.
Roz waved her hand dismissively, "No Frasier, whatever you came to say, save it. It's late, I'm tired, and it's all been said and done already." She pulled the blanket tighter around hers curling her legs underneath herself, "Just go home. I'm sure Julia can't be to happy that you're here anyways."
Frasier sat down on the couch next to her, "Roz I am so very sorry." He wanted to reach out to her, take her hand in his, but instead he wavered, the air tense between them.
" I didn't come here to make excuses for my behavior because frankly there are none that suitable. The things I said… Roz look at me, the things I said, I didn't mean them." She turned her body, shifting on the sofa so she was facing him and inadvertently closing part of the gap between them as Frasier continued." You're my best friend."
She could tell the apology was sincere, but remained silent for a moment as she struggled with how to respond. Half of her wanted to rail at Frasier, to yell at him for making that decision in the first place, for not trusting her. The other half wanted to crawl into his arms, always so warm and comforting, bury her face in the spicy smelling collar of his cashmere sweater. She squeezed her eyes shut trying fruitlessly to avoid crying.
"Best friend doesn't quite stack up to girlfriend though does it?" She tried for an icy tone but her sleepy throat caused the words to rasp as they tumbled out of her mouth.
"You don't understand do you?" Roz opened her eyes to see Frasier's glacial blue ones staring back at her and the honesty she found there was disarming, "It's not about Julia. It's you." He reached over to her and cradled her face in his hands, gently pushing her tears away with his thumbs, "It's been you for awhile now."
Roz felt her stomach turn as she let out a shaky breath and he continued speaking.
"I can…understand… if you don't have those feelings for me. But I know I care for you much more then a friend should. I spent a good long time imagining what my life would be like without you, what it would be like if you weren't bluffing and I would never see you again after you walked out that door. And I couldn't. I simply could not fathom it. "
He furrowed his brow as he tried to read her face, still framed within his hands. She was still silent as he spoke to her softly, "What if the thing we've both spent all these years looking for, is something we already have?"
It was a few moments before Roz broke the silence with a gentle laugh.
Roz lifted her hands, grasping Frasier's wrists, her thumbs circling the soft skin on the back of his hands unconsciously as she tipped her head up and smiled at him for the first time that night.
She pulled gently on his wrists brining him foreword until she closed the final gap herself, leaning towards him and covering his lips with her own. Frasier slid his hands from her cheeks back through her hair as she released his wrists, arms moving to encircle his neck. He leaned back onto the arm of the couch and she followed, not eager to break the kiss.
But she was the one to break it eventually, removing her arms from his neck and propping herself up with her hands on his chest.
"This is for real isn't it?"
"Well I should hope so. Although I do remember having certain less verbal variations of this dream before."
"Cut it out, you know what I mean Frasier. This is it. This is really it."
He grinned at her, that huge goofy grin that she'd only seen a handful of times in all the ten years she'd know him. He pulled her down to him and kissed her again, this time short but sweet, "Why yes, yes it is."