Read this fic ( Garrus Vs The KinkMeme by AllianceCommand) a while back and a certain part in the story kept jumping back at me and I just had to play around with it. Wrote the whole thing on my Iphone. Frankly, this is my first story ever and I am not a writer.
This is just for fun, seriously, just for fun...
35 Minutes One Morning
"No."
"No?"
"No."
Shepard put down her data pad and turned toward the bed, frowning at the Turian who had just answered her.
"You know you are supposed to turn down a girl gently instead of just a blunt, heartless "no"?"
"Right... The great Commander Shepard. No ten ton reapers falling on her could hurt her but my rejection can."
"Hey, you know the human saying. Words..."
"Exactly my point."
Garrus slide down from the bed to the floor as he casually fling his data pad as far away from himself as he could.
Shepard sighed too, but for a different reason. She stood up, went to retrieve his data pad, took both their teas and went to join him on the floor, handing the cup of steaming hot dexo drink to him.
"You are taking this way too seriously," she said as she sat down next to him and then handed him his data pad. "You are the most popular choice, after me. I'd take that as a compliment."
"Have you seriously read some of the things they wrote?"
"Lighten up, big guy. There is nothing yet about you being a hundred year old vampire that sparkles."
"There are stories where I did sparkle! And bite!"
"True. I especially like that one where you turned into an animal in bed and tore all the sheets. Imagine that kind of bed manners with Tali..."
Garrus groaned. Shepard laughed.
"There are a lot here with you and Tali."
Garrus groaned louder.
"There are even some with you and Grunt! Wanna read them?"
Garrus just gapped. Shepard was actually enjoying this.
"I don't believe you," he said, almost aspirated, if Turians could aspirate.
"Ah... I am quite alright with this. This," Shepard shook her data pad lightly. "This is what humans do. We fantasize."
"Turians fantasize too. You don't see us writing kinky stuffs and posting them all over the extranet for the galaxy to read."
"Maybe that is why You have battle anthems while We have love songs?"
"This is more like porn!"
"Turians have porn too."
"Mostly directed by humans!"
"My point exactly."
"I am not going to win this, am I?"
"Nope."
"Fine."
Five minutes later...
Shepard glanced up from her data pad to find her husband still a little unhappy.
"You know, some of these are quite well written. Just the right amount of angst and romance.. And YOU are one hell of a hot shot in them."
"So you are saying it is ok to you if they write about you sexing up Liara, Thane, Kaidan, and whoever else?"
"They did try for my affection. That part was true." Shepard smiled innocently.
"Wrex! Spirits! They wrote you doing the nasty with Wrex! And you are ok with it?"
"Yap."
"... You sound like Wrex in an elevator."
"Yap"
"Not making me feel any better."
Five minutes later...
"You know, humans can't actually put in breeding requests like the female Krogans can with Wrex and Grunt. So humans fantasize about their heroes. The ones who can put it into words, write them down. Those who decide that there are others who like the way they think post their works up. And judging from the number of hits, I'd say there are a lot of female fans out there enjoying reading about a certain Turian hero."
"Just look at this one" Garrus wasn't even listening. he thumbed through some logs and stove the pad onto Shepard's hands. "Who can survive that? I can't go on for six hours straight!"
"But you do last longer than the average human. And that...is sexy as hell to the girls."
Five minutes later...
Shepard looked at the Turian next to her and wondered why of all the men in the universe, or what was left in the universe, she decided to marry this grouchy Turian. Then she remembered all the times they were together, all the love she felt from him and all the times she knew she could put her life in his hands and decided a little grouchiness wouldn't hurt once in a while. Still though, she could not resist.
"Why are you so grouchy about this?"
"Because I don't like it. I don't like that I am portrayed as some alien sex god. I don't like that my wife is portrayed as some nympho, and with family friends! Spirits, Shepard! We have kids! What if they see these?"
"Oh come on. Give some credits to your kids. They are smart. They know what to believe and what not to."
Shepard smiled and blowed into her tea. She had to say, a grouchy Garrus was rather darling to watch sometimes, so darling, it was cute.
"It's not the believing I worry about. It's the imagery..."
Five minutes later...
"You know, you can just take down the pages... If you are that unhappy about it. Get EDI to send them a virus. Specter business! Space it!" Shepard joked. Garrus growled.
Five minutes later...
"You do growl." Shepard slowly sipped her tea, made just the way she liked it by the only Turian who knew how she really liked things.
"I do not growl..."
"Yes, you do. And you do purr."
"I. Do. Not. Purr."
"Not everything written here are made up and definitely some are traits that were what endeared me to you... And the hots for you too." Shepard drew closer and hummed softly.
"..."
"Ok. Fine," She pulled back and settled into the same position she was sitting before. "You don't purr. I guess that means you have one less thing to turn me on then."
"Wait... This really turn you on, doesn't it?"
"No. YOUR purring turns me on."
Five minutes later...
The cheekiness in his tone was back again when he spoke while nibbling behind her ear. The tea on the floor next to him long forgotten.
"I purr, you know."
"Whatever happened to the "no" earlier? And "I don't like being seen as a sex god!"" Shepard giggled.
"A Turian is allowed to changed his mind. Especially a bad one. Plus, I always love to live dangerously."
"Hmmm...Wonder what else my bad Turian sex god likes doing that can totally turn me on..."
"Let's find out... We still have thirty minutes before the kids are awake."
"Hmmm... But then after they are off to school, we have the whole rest of the morning. Maybe we can test that six hour endurance of yours and my Cerberus upgrades."
"I like the way you think, Commander."
Five minutes later...
"You think Wrex can really smell arousal like in the fics?" Shepard narrowed her eyes at her mate for distracting her from being distracted by his tongue. "He did smirk a lot since we...," he continued absentmindedly.
"Garrus..."
"Hmm...?"
"Wrex smirks a lot. Period."