"Kukai? Hey Souma-kun? Souma-kun?" I heard a voice calling out for me but it was a very distant voice. As if it was a part of my thought. It was something that I would be able to hear but not feel like reacting to.
I don't know why I would not react to something I could hear so faintly. I guess mostly because it may not be real after all. Just as I zone out into my own thoughts more and more the voice becomes fainter. To the point that I couldn't really hear it anymore. Getting more lost in my own little world. Protecting myself from the world around me.
As someone who gets into very competitive sports, sometimes it really is nice to just forget how harsh the world actually can be. From getting injuries that could end your dreams any minute to just the things you will see be done to get to the top.
People just laugh off the world we work in. They don't think that there is any risk to doing the jobs that we do. But there is real risk to the things we do or the things people are willing to do to themselves, their family, friends and body to achieve the wins and being on top of the lists. Everyone wants to be famous no matter what they have to do for it.
But I am not that way. I don't want to hurt myself or the people who are important to me just to reach the goals and dreams I have set for myself. I have promised myself that I would not do anything like that no matter what.
If I would have ever had to do anything like that to just win, I would do anything to prove people that there is no need to do anything to yourself to get big. I would always try to prove people wrong. That is something I stand for and will continue to prove it.
I felt a soft pressure on my lips, it was a slight pressure bit it was noticeable enough for me to notice even though I was so deep in my own little world. It made me start to wonder what I actually felt. Slowly I woke up out of my own little world to face red orbs.
"Tadase?" I spoke up, yet I noticed that it was on a very soft tone. Why I turned to him to have such a soft tone in my voice. I was a little shocked at the way he was trying to get my reaction.
"Thank you for finally noticing me." He didn't look amused and to be honest he doesn't sound like he liked it either. I don't know how long he has been trying to get my attention and how many failed attempts he has been though.
I only know the end result of what his plan was. Tadase looks hurt, as if I have disappointed him by ignoring him for so long. And it is that look that I don't want to face, the faces of disappointment. The people who grew to like me and support me… that I let them down just like that.
As an athlete you can't always win, I am fully aware of that but I don't want to disappoint them. That is why I try to be and still am clean from any of the weird drugs that I hear people take just to get those extra seconds over someone else.
You would think that seconds would mean nothing, but really in the world of sport those mean a lot. Not only real sports but also friend trying to beat others records by getting the advantage of time over them.
A second more or less can make a huge difference. Like any athlete out there I have been beaten by times not even a second faster than I was. Yet those times were faster and won, even if it was faster than the blink of an eye. A win no one would have been able to see with the naked eyes.
The change of time has also a lot to do with it. From the ever faster evolving technology to the ever-changing view on fame from doing sports. The world has become scary for people who try to be honest.
Everything can be measured down to the smallest frame of time, knowing exactly what happened and who knows may be able to predict what is going to happen. We don't look in the system but there are people who are early accurate at telling who will win. That much data can be found at any moment to do so.
"I didn't mean to ignore you Tadase, I wouldn't have invited you if I would just ignore you now." I tried to smile honestly. Glad that he was here, Tadase has been really busy since leaving for college a few months ago.
Even though I am so glad that my best friend was able to get back to his home town just to visit me, an old friend who he tries to keep in contact with. It was very important to Tadase that our friendship didn't just end after so many years.
I wouldn't have been happy either if our friendship had ended then and there. We were very young when we met and have been friend long enough that you can almost say that neither of us has memories from the time before we met.
Both having a different impact on each other in the process, but big enough for it to last. Determent to keep this up till time and the lack of contact would drive us away from the roots we have here in this town.
Time has yet to catch up. The only time I would like to keep from moving as fast as the chrono during practice. I can't slow time down and cracks can be seen.
I see him get up from the bed he was sitting on, the bed I am sitting on. Tadase moves around the room looking at things that had been put on shelves so that my room wouldn't end up being suck of a mess. Not as organized at his but it seemed to come close.
I left him to look around, since I trusted him to not break anything he took in his hands. Tadase takes good care of things that aren't his, he is that kind.
I moved to the pillow on my bed and moved a small egg from under it. It's normal blue color looked darker than it used to. I first thought it was because of the lighting, yet in other lighting the blue really seemed to look like it was black.
Neither the orange or the yellow that normally was so bright no it looked like it had before. Daichi has been avoiding me for days too.
I just hope everything is alright...or does it even matter at this point?