Hello, this is my first fan-fic, so don't judge me too harshly. And well, review.

Disclaimer: I don't own the 39 Clues or Cahills. Keegan is a character made up by me.

100 Ways to Annoy a Cahill

Chapter One:

Target: Ian Kabra

1. Expose Ian and his pink boxer shorts to the world.

Normally, one would be excited to be in London, England. Well, I'm a Cahill. My parents are currently spending one week here researching something on William Shakespeare and checking to see if Ian and Natalie are doing well. (A/N: This is after Into the Gauntlet, naturally)

I look inside the Kabra home, my parents dashing off to somewhere in the huge mansion. I glance at art Ian deals at a somewhat-modest price. In fact, he's at an auction right now. I'll think i'll give him a visit.

I hop on the small stage in the Kabra living room and stand next to Ian offering a Janus painting to the bidders in the crowd. While the bidders argue amongst themselves, Ian says through clenched teeth, "What in the world are you doing here, dear cousin?"

I roll my eyes. "First of all, stop calling me 'dear cousin', it's annoying. Second, can't I observe this excellent auction held by an excellent leader?"

Ian actually looks pleased. "Fine. Observe all you want."

"Can I do an item? Like, go 'how much will you buy this for?'" I ask.

Ian sighs and smirks at me. "Go ahead, dear cousin."

I glare at Ian for calling me 'dear cousin' again, and then grin brightly at the bidders.

"Hello there, I'm Keegan! No, it's not a weird name, so shut up, I can see you snickering!" I say with a bright smile. I gesture towards a statue of a dude wearing a toga.

"This is a wonderful statue of a dude wearing a toga! Clearly it was created by a Janus with a strange taste for art, because togas are so, like, 5,000 years ago."

Ian looks annoyed, but doesn't stop me.

"Before y'all bid, I'd just like to thank my dear cousin Ian for letting me be here today! Ian is so kind, isn't he! He's such a softie; I just adore his teddy bear Mr. Stuffins and his cute pink boxers with dollar signs on them!"

Ian's face is bright pink, but he doesn't want to embarrass himself anymore in front of the bidders.

"And his FACE matches his boxers!" I gush, smirking at Ian.

I pull out a liquidator bug and throw it so it lands on Ian's belt. His belt evaporates and Ian's famous-brand pants fall down showing the audience exactly how cute Ian's boxers are. Today they have Care Bears on them!

Ian walks out of the room with as much dignity as a dude in his boxers can have, fuming.

"Okay, back to the auction! This certain toga-wearing statue begins at...one penny!" I call out.

The bidders look uncertain, since one penny seems incredibly unbelievable and they want to spend more simply for the joy of spending. However, I put in place a rule stating only one penny more per bid. They sigh and begin bidding. An hour later, we have a winner.

"Going once...going twice...SOLD for one dollar to the lady in red!" I yell out.

It only sold for one dollar mainly because everyone got tired of bidding, after I only allowed one penny more per bid.

Then Ian (wearing a new belt) bursts in the doors with guards.

"Guards, escort my dear cousin out of the auction room!" he commanded.

As they dragged me away, I called out to Ian, "Say hi to Amy for me, dear cousin!"

Ian's face turned pink again as I got pushed out of the room. I looked at the staircase that leads to the second floor. Natalie was currently in her room getting ready for a party. I grinned to myself. It seems now is the time to give my other dear Lucian relative a visit.