Author's Note: The title is taken from the Tegan and Sara song. Read the lyrics, it makes sense. Also, I don't own Glee, yadda ya.

"Say you love me back. Please."

The words haunted her. Laying here alone in her bed, Santana wished she could just take them back. If she had just kept quiet, none of this would be happening. Brittany wouldn't be breathing down her neck to come out, she wouldn't have to date Karofsky, and she certainly wouldn't have to worry so much about someone finding out. When she hid it, there was no chance of anyone finding out. God damn it, why did she tell Britt at the locker? At the time, it had been something she couldn't hold in anymore. But hindsight is 20/20. She ignored the tears threatening at her eyes and grabbed her phone from the bedside table. She wasn't paying attention; the first number she dialed was Brittany's. Realizing her mistake, she hit end, and scrolled through her contacts for Karofsky.

It only rang twice. "Hello?"

"I need you…to do something for me." She said slowly, carefully keeping the sadness from her voice."

"Is this more blackmail?" he asked, sounding nervous.

"No, David. This is personal. Do you know where I live?"

"Lima Height Adjacent. At least, that's what you screamed down the hallways…" he laughed a little. Their relationship was becoming more comfortable. This would probably ruin that.

"It's the nice neighborhood, don't worry." She replied, also laughing. "My parents are still out. You can stay the night, they won't notice. Please. Just…come over."

She gave him the address, and waited. While she waited, her thoughts were a mess. Brittany. Puck. Faceless jocks whose names she barely remembered. Letting a teacher fondle her new breasts for extra credit. She hated herself. Maybe all of it was just a cover, but that didn't make it any better. The thought of Brittany, sweet, soft, completely happy to be beneath her crossed her mind, and she shoved it away. Santana knew she didn't deserve those thoughts tonight.

When Karofsky arrived, she met him at the door, dressed in lingerie. His face went red, and he turned away, stammering. "S-Santana, I don't know if you forgot, but—"

"David." She whispered, slinking closer. "I want you to fuck me."

"I-Is that part of being beards?" he murmured, looking away, his eyes darting everywhere but her.

"Yes." She replied matter-of-factly. "Maybe we can get over it this way."

"No, no, Santana—"

She kissed him. He wasn't exactly responsive, but she went with it anyways. After a few minutes of that, she led him upstairs to her bedroom. The lamp was on now, giving everything false cheer. They both stared at it for a second. Karofsky was the one to turn it off. It wasn't that they couldn't stand the sight of each other…They just couldn't stand themselves in the light. His hands were fumbling. With a slight pang of guilt, Santana realized he was a virgin. It made sense, but she still hadn't expected it. So she took the lead, guiding his hands.

"Santana…" He sounded close to tears. She ignored him, undoing his pants and sliding them down.

"It'll work. Pretend I'm Kurt, I don't care. Please, David, I just…" She almost had to sit back and cry.

His lips were on hers, rough, unforgiving. He pinned her below him, hands running over her breasts gingerly. Grasping his hand, she made him hold on tighter, viciously kissing back. They were both crying at this point, tears streaming silently. He shook his head, and she tried to capture his lips again, but he refused to let her. "No." he said, simply. She felt the shudder go through his body, and she began to sob. They held each other close, but neither of them tried to go further. She didn't know how long they cried. They both went quiet around the same time though, still embracing in a death grip.

"David?" she said, her voice rough. He didn't answer. "I'm sorry." She whispered. His only response was to hold her closer.