I run the blade over my wrist. Red seeps out of the cut. The words keep bouncing around in my head. Worthless. Unloved. Fat. Ugly. I swipe the blade over my wrist with each word, until I have five freshly opened wounds. I smile, wiping the tears from my eyes and get to work cleaning my cut.
"Kait! Come on!" Kendal, my best friend calls.
"Coming!" I respond, making sure there's no evidence of my punishment. I treat the cutting as a punishment for being worthless and ugly, a loser that no one cares about. That my 'friends' pity, claiming they're my friends. The worst part is? It's my birthday. August 17th. I'm finally 16. And I bought tickets to see Greyson Chance. Which is where I am now. In a bathroom stall at a Greyson Chance concert. I pull my sleeves down and wave to Kendal.
"Finally! I'm only at this concert because of One Direction!" Kendal is a Directioner, I'm an Enchancer. Greyson is opening for One Direction, so she got me two tickets.
"I'm here. Now leggo!" I say, grabbing her arm and start skipping to our front row seats. We made it there just in time to see Greyson come on the stage. I cup my hands around my mouth and start cheering along with the crowd. Kendal just stands there looking bored as hell.
"Hey everybody! Who's ready to Hold On 'Til The Night?" Greyson's voice called through the speakers. He started playing 'Paparazzi' by Lady GaGa.
We are the crowd
We're c-coming out
Got my flash on it's true
Need that picture of you
It's so magical
We'd be so fantastical
Leather and jeans
Your watch glamorous
Not sure what it means
But this photo of us
It don't have a price
Ready for those flashing lights
'Cause you know that baby I
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Paparazzi
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that girl is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Paparazzi
I'll be good
Backstage at your show
Velvet ropes and guitars
because your my rock star
in between the sets
Eyeliner and cigarettes
Shadow is burnt
Why you dancin' with him
My lashes are dry
Purple teardrops I cry
It don't have the price
Loving you is cherry pie
'Cause you know that baby I
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Paparazzi
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Paparazzi
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that girl is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Paparazzi
As he plays the final note, I start to feel self conscious. He had been staring at me the whole time.
"This next song is a duet. Is there a fan willing to perform it with me?" He asks. "How about you?" He says, walking towards me.
"I-I-I-I-" I stutter.
"She'd love to." Kendal answers for me. I shoot her a look of fear and gratitude as Greyson grabs my left wrist. The harmed wrist. I wince a little and pull myself onto the stage.
"What's your name beautiful?" He asks.
"Kait. Kait Elena."
"Well, Kait, do you know 'Waiting Outside the Lines'?"
"Of course. When it first came out, I was the 11th person to watch it on YouTube."
"Good. Will you sing it with me as a duet?"
"Of course. I'd be honoured."
We sit down at his piano and he starts to play.
Greyson-
You'll never enjoy your life,
living inside the box
You're so afraid of taking chances,
how you gonna reach the top?
Rules and regulations,
force you to play it safe
Get rid of all the hesitation,
it's time for you to seize the day
Instead of just sitting around
and looking down on tomorrow
You gotta let your feet off the ground,
the time is now
I'm waiting, waiting, just waiting,
I'm waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
He looks at me, as if to say, 'your turn'. So I open my mouth and sing.
Me-
Try to have no regrets
even if it's just tonight
How you gonna walk ahead
if you keep living behind
Stuck in my same position,
you deserve
so much more
There's a whole world around us,
just waiting to be explored
Instead of just sitting around
and looking down on tomorrow
You gotta let your feet off the ground,
the time is now, just let it go
The world will force you to smile
I'm here to help you notice the rainbow
Cause I know,
What's in you is out there
I'm waiting, waiting, just waiting,
I'm waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
By now, I'm totally comfortable and Greyson and I are looking at each other as if we're the only two people on earth.
Both-
I'm trying to be patient (I'm trying to be patient)
the first step is the hardest (the hardest)
I know you can make it,
go ahead and take it
I'm Waiting, waiting, just waiting I'm waiting
I'm waiting, waiting, just waiting
I'm waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
You'll never enjoy your life
Living inside the box
You're so afraid of taking chances,
How you gonna reach the top?
We end the song harmonising and breathless.
"Give it up for Kait Elena!" He says as I say "Give it up for Greyson Chance!"
We laugh and he pulls me into a hug.
"Meet me behind the stage in ten minutes. I'll have a backstage pass waiting for you and your friend." And with that, he walks away.