Shadows always existed to swallow us whole, without mercy. If I had lost my foothold, we would be tumbling down into a dark oblivion. I was always the scared one, the foolish one, the weaker one. Why then, was he the one to fall into the darkness?

I wanted to kill him... I wanted to watch him suffer, like he watched me suffer, the pain he inflicted on me was too much to bear. I wanted to taint perfection. I wanted to blind him, the way he blinded me whenever I looked into his eyes.

I hated his eyes. They were too bright; they were too unnatural. They were my gates to hell, because as much as I hated him...

...I loved him twice as much. I wanted to hold him, I wanted him to kiss me, caress me, tell me I belonged in his embrace and nowhere else. I wanted to taste him, sweet flavor of the gods? ambrosia; only he could ever have satiated me. But I just wanted him to notice me...

I held onto him by a string, nothing more. It was all I could have hoped for. He held onto me with nothing. Still, I wonder, if I had been the one to fall, would he have caught me? Would he even have seen me fall?

He was always looking down to me; I knew I wasn?t good enough. Even when he willingly gave into the darkness he looked down at me. I wanted to help him; he wouldn?t accept it. So I gave up; I conformed. I followed him obediently.

But he was lost to me.

If you see him, can you pass on the word that I am searching for him?