TITLE: Don't Speak
AUTHOR: frankybadass
PAIRINGS: Finchel, Brochel, and possibly Klaine. Mentions of other ships, such as Brittana and Tike.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or any of its characters.
Rachel sighs as she takes a look around her living room. Her lids feel heavy. She is exhausted from all the crying and she is frustrated because just another perfectly good outfit has been ruined by the rain. All because of Finn.
She should have known he wouldn't have reacted very well to her kissing Brody, but it had been four months since she had last seen or heard from him, until he had shown up randomly on her doorstep.
Brody makes her feel good; sexy and desired. Finn always made her feel sexy; he was the first to ever make her feel such a way, but she had spent so much time in the beginning of their relationship trying too hard to impress him. With Brody, it felt effortless, and the brunette starlet is convinced that is why she kissed him.
She loves Finn. She has always loved Finn, and her guess is that she always will. Love is a precious word, not one to be used lightly, and Rachel never used it the way that she meant it, and still does mean it, with Finn until she fell in love with that very boy himself. She has never felt something so strong. Love is a beautiful feeling. She has learned that it can bring the greatest joy and the deepest heartache. She has felt both plenty of times, but she is feeling the latter now never quite like she has before. She feels as though her heart has been cut into a million tiny pieces and she is not sure the shattered pieces can ever be pieced together again.
The thought causes tears to spring into her eyes again and she feels her knees buckle as she allows the tears to fall. She falls to her knees on the floor, burying her head in her hands. For the first time in her entire life, Rachel Berry is glad that she is alone.
She would not wish for anyone to see her such a way, especially not Kurt because he is dealing with his own heartache. She does not know where he is. She knows he is not home. She imagines he must be taking a walk, trying to clear his head, or maybe searching for a way to forgive Blaine for what he has done.
Rachel feels selfish and pathetic, just falling apart on her living room floor. She feels as though she should be searching for Kurt, helping him in his time of need. But she also knows her reasoning for feeling such a way is selfish; she wants to focus on Kurt so she doesn't have to focus on her own heartache. She wants to feel needed because she does not like allowing herself to need others.
A knock on her door startles her out of her thoughts. She jumps and feels foolish for doing so. It isn't like the boogeyman is at the door. She supposes she simply does not want to be caught in the position she is in now; ripping apart at the seams, basically.
She furiously wipes at her eyes, forcing herself to stand up. Her legs feel like jelly. She takes a deep breath. Her heart is beating rapidly. She does not know who is at the door. She allows herself to entertain the thought that it is Finn and then mentally slaps herself for having the thought in the first place. Finn is gone. He is in Lima. She needs to let him go. She simply does not know how.
She forces a smile onto her face as she opens the door. She is surprised to see Brody at the door. After what has happened, she had almost been convinced she would never see him again.
She feels awful for kissing him when she knows she is not over Finn. Brody deserves better than that. He is so much better than being second best and right now, unfortunately, in Rachel's mind that is all he can be.
"Brody." Her voice is barely above a whisper.
Way to make it sound like you are actually happy, Berry, she mentally reprimands herself. Her voice sounds a lot like she imagines she looks; fake happy.
"May I come in?" Brody asks shyly. She thinks it is cute how shy he is acting.
"Of course," she replies amiably, stepping aside so that Brody can walk by her. Once he enters, she shuts the door and turns to face him. "What brings you here?" she asks curiously, still shocked that he is even here after all that has happened in merely one night. She thinks maybe she should not be surprised, however. Brody is the type that knows what he wants and he goes after it, no matter what the cost. She admires him for that, and she is thankful that he has not walked out of her life simply because of the dramatic turn tonight has taken on.
She can't help but to think that drama follows her everywhere she goes. The thought strikes her that the only time drama seems to be in her life is when it involves Finn.
As his name crosses her mind, she feels her stomach churn. She forces the feeling away. The last thing she wants is to cry in front of Brody.
"I just... I wanted to see if you were okay," he answers. She can hear the honesty in his voice and see it in those beautiful blue eyes of his. She fears she cannot hide from his eyes, like they can see into her... like Brody can see into her.
The thought both terrifies her and thrills her.
"I-I'm fine." She knows that the stammer and the crack in her voice at the word 'fine' gives her away. She is anything but and she knows that Brody can see right through her fake smile and fake cheery tone.
"No, you're not," Brody deadpans, forcing her to meet his gaze simply by staring intensely in her direction. Her heart feels like it may explode. This time, in a good way. A great way. "What happened, if you don't mind me asking? And don't lie and say nothing. I know better than that. I can see it in your eyes, Rachel."
A sigh escapes her lips as she forces herself to look away from him. She cannot talk about what happened. Well, it is more like she doesn't think she can. Maybe she should, but the pain is too much. The scars are too fresh. "I-I don't think I can talk about it, Brody. I'm sorry. Maybe later. Please."
She is practically begging. It is not like Rachel to beg. Maybe in the past, but not much these days. Right now, however, she is desperate and her fear of breaking down is getting the better of her. She needs a distraction. What she does not need is to relive the events of tonight. Not so soon. Maybe another day.
She allows herself to meet Brody's gaze again and she can see that he is torn between pushing the subject further and letting it go for now.
"Fine," he relents. "I'll let it go. For now." She sighs with relief. "Is there anything I can do for you until you are ready to talk about it? Anything at all? I honestly don't think you should be alone right now. You look like you could use some company."
What she says next surprises her. "Could you just lie with me? For just a little while? I just... I need someone to hold onto me."
A small, genuine smile graces Brody's lips, lips that Rachel finds herself wishing she could kiss again. She shakes the thought from her mind. She does not need to be thinking such a way, not right now. "Okay," is his only response.
Brody does not even hesitate before taking Rachel by the hand and leading her to the couch. He lies down and she sits in front of him, hesitating before lying down as well. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her as close as he possibly can.
She feels safe. He has strong arms, the kind of arms she feels can protect her from anything and everything, even herself and her thoughts of heartache.
As her eyes start to close of their own accord, she can hear Brody quietly humming in her ear, and not long before drifting off to sleep, the last words she hears from him are don't you ever give up even if your heart breaks. Oh, it's gonna be okay, and she could swear that she falls asleep with a smile on her face.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, it has been a while since I have written anything. I am a Finchel fan. Have been from the beginning and always will be, but Finn is a dummy, admittedly. This is a Finchel fanfic. Finn will appear in it, but so will Brody, so be forewarned.
