CHAPTER 1: I Didn't Know Her

I am not the only traveller,

who has

not repaid his debt.


Kyle closed his cold metal locker which sat directly opposite Sophia's old locker, her locker plastered in pictures of her with notes of how she was loved and missed. He swallowed the sick in his stomach and closed his locker with distaste. The sky was overcast and lifeless on his journey home, the bus wavered whilst a group of girls chatted about Sophia's tragic death, "she was so gorgeous" one said longing.

"Deffo was my bestie" another added. Kyle gripped the bus's rail till his knuckles turned a pale white-those girls didn't even speak to her? One of the girls clocked Kyle's pained expression and snuffed him out, "we all miss her Kyle, don't hide your pain" she said lamely. This was all for show; Kyle was a pretty popular guy sure, but she was acting.

"I didn't know her" Kyle griped. His tone twisted the girl's kind expression into disgust and the vultures went back to yapping, his stop came up and he practically leapt from the bus. He entered his house slowly closing the door hoping none of his parents were home...they hardly ever were so why would they be now? His bmx stood up against the side of the hallway looking lonely. "Mom, Dad?" he tried and fortunately he got no reply. "The hell?" Kyle whispered to himself as he eyed a box on his counter-top...did his parents leave it there? It was a decorated shoe box with bits of bubble wrap poking out the sides, he opened it cautiously to find 13 tapes all labelled with green nail varnish and a map. This was just fucking strange. Frowning, he jogged upstairs looking for his dads old tape player, covered in layers of dust but still alive. The first tape slipped in with a satisfying click.

Tape 1: Side A

Hey, its Sophia. Sophia Heather. That's right don't adjust your...whatever you're hearing this on-its me, live and in stereo.

Kyle's eyes snapped wide open as that familiar musical voice travelled from the old boom box into his ears, "What the fuck!" he exclaimed yanking the tape from the stereo and dropping it onto the floor like it was hot coals. His heavy breathing distracted him from his Mom's presence.

"Kyle?" her echoed voice made him jump. "Woah, you okay?" she asked with a hand resting on her hip; her somewhat muscular son with Blonde hair and baby blue eyes seemed terrified. Quickly, he returned to normal to answer her question.

"Yeah..um what are you doing here?" He said picking up the shoebox and kicking it under his bed.

"Nothing just about to go out again" she replied that awkward silence setting in, neither of them said anything for a while. They never did, "dinners in the microwave just put it on for 2 minutes it should be okay" She said. Kyle nodded hearing that sentence for the thousandth time in his life, he noticed his Mom lingering more than usual and she took two steps forward before leaning back like she wasn't sure.

"What?" Kyle said gruffly.

"It's a shame about that Sophia girl huh?" his Mom spoke up, a fire rose up in his chest and he held his breath afraid the fire would rage from within him. Kyle nodded and pretended to relax, like it didn't bother him, like he was better than it all.

"I didn't really know her Mom" he said almost robotically. His Mom thinned her lips in an awkward smile before walking back downstairs and going back out, where? He didn't know and he wouldn't ask. He didn't want to talk to his parents and they didn't want to speak to him, not after everything. He sunk into his desk chair heaving a shaky breath before running downstairs and jumping on his bike which he hadn't rode in months to go speak to Owen. Sophia's best friend in the whole world since she was 6, did he know?

"Hey Kyle!" Connor hollered as he rode past the liquor store, Kyle waved back with a smile-he knew Connor being on the basketball team and they were okay friends. Kyle pulled up outside Owen's air plane hanger where clanging could be heard, moments later Owen's head of blonde curly locks poked from inside grinning when he saw Kyle.

"Hey man!" Owen said pulling him into a hug patting his back. Kyle smiled back but couldn't keep the worry off of his face, he wanted to ask questions-scream them but he couldnt. "How are you these days?" Owen said wiping grease and oil from him forehead. Kyle was going to tell him when he caught sight of a new tattoo on Owen's neck...Kyle squinted trying to make sure he wasn't just seeing things.

"Sophia" Kyle breathed the word inked in italics on Owen's neck, Owen pulled down his collar so he could get a better look at it. Kyle decided against telling Owen, he was still grieving-hell they all were but he didn't know if Owen could handle hearing her voice. Kyle couldn't.

"Chain look's rusty Ky, come on I'll fix her up" Owen said leaving no room for protest, Kyle trailed his bike in the huge hanger which was blue and grey with parts of planes scattered and tools lay everywhere. "Hey yo James!" Owen shouted for his older brother who peeked from underneath some sort of car, they fixed everything there-family run business or though some say they had some dodgy stuff going on on the sides. They were wholesome though, good.

"What you hollerin for Owenina!" James tattled back wiping his hands, Owen smiled at his brother who smirked back before seeing Kyle, "Hey Ky, how you doin?" James asked, his Brooklyn accent stood out in the Californian neighbourhood. The Hick's brother moved here when they were 6 but all had a very Brooklyn accent still, there were four of them in total. Owen, James, William and Becks. Everyone round here just called them the Brooklyn brothers.

"Good good, what about you and the others?" Kyle said smiling as Owen fixed his chain happily.

"ah you know how it is, ain't nothin changed but the weather" James said with a clearly fake smile-the boys were all struggling with Sophia's death the only one that didn't show it was James...didn't know why.

"Bullshit" William spoke from the corner where he cradled a bottle of beer and a hanker chief. James spun round his whole body tensed, "just tell the kid we're sad bout Sophia! Not a crime!" William yelled a little louder whilst marching over nodding at Kyle in acknowledgement. Becks clipped William's ear, being the oldest he was sort of the parental figure with the boys having no parents and moving out of their foster home here to there mechanic shop.

"Don't you start wid this Willy!" Becks scolded.

"What? She's dead! Can't sugar coat it because James can't grow the fuck up!" William retorted. Owen shot up pushing his brother into a corner before whispering some things in his ear which seemed to calm him down. Becks turned to them both with narrow eyes, his chin length brown hair curtained his dark expression. William's blonde spiky hair was swept to the side and James had curly brown hair.

"Not in front of the kid Willy" Becks warned darkly. Kyle frowned wondering why when he spied a walkman tape player with headphones-whilst the brothers were distracted Kyle snatched it shoving it in his pockets clumsily. He pushed his bike testing the chain out which was better than ever with love and attention courtesy of Owen.

"See you guys at school" Kyle rambled before zooming off. Kyle settled down on his bed placing a tape in the walkman, putting earbuds in and pressing play lightly, when her voice came through, Kyle shut his eyes to keep in the pain and loss and everything...everything.

No return engagements, no encore and this time absolutely no requests. Get a snack, settle in-because I'm about to tell you the story of my life, more specifically why my life ended. And if you're listening to this tape, you're one of the reasons why.