Hello, this is my first avengers fic so bear with me.
WARNINGS: Angst and a lot of Daddy issues.
PAIRINGS: Tony/Loki, not sure about any others yet.
DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to Marvel, comics or films, at all. Yet.Escape, it was something a master of magic should be able to do with his eyes closed. Escape from Asgardian punishment, it was something few had ever done. After one Midgardian year of torture, pain and defeat Loki made one last attempt at escape. It took a few months of planning, to learn peoples habits and times the guards swapped. It took nearly all of his magic to make it to the shattered Bifrost where he met his oldest friend.
"This is the last time I will aid you, trickster. I care for your brother too much to deceive him further." Amora stated with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow.
"I expected your sentiment would out do your loyalty to me, Enchantress. I won't be back to Asgard, take the stance of a hero if you wish and say you were responsible for my demise. I do not care, just get me out of this realm, old friend." Loki sighed. He and Amora met many years ago after he realised he would never be accepted into Thor's group of friends. To have is only confident fall in love with he man he once called brother, it cut deeper than the needles used to sew his mouth shut many months ago. The girl sighed and nodded, turning around to open a green portal behind her.
"I know not what realm this will lead, trickster, but it will not be Jotenhiem. That is all I can promise."
"That is all I need." Loki stepped toward the portal but felt a hand on his shoulder; he turned to look at Amora, her green eyes washed with worry.
"Be safe, old friend." Loki smiled and nodded before he stepped through.
The portal opened up and as he stepped out a sense of déjà vu filled his mind with dread. He knew the skyline, nearly exactly. He took a few more steps forward and the realisation hit him like Mjolnir in the chest. The skyline was New York, and he stood on the roof of Stark Tower. How very unfortunate for him. He hoped he would escape Asgard, but the Earth's mightiest misfits would surely send him back. He fell to his knees in defeat, a cry of anguish ripping from his lips.
"He let him grow up in your shadow, and was just going to use him to settle an old fight?" Tony gaped at the end of Thor's tale. Steve had questioned how if he was brought up the same as Thor, he was so different.
"Tony, he went insane at his old man for protecting him, that is just crazy." Steve reasoned, siding with Thor.
"What, no! He was lied to his entire life! He watched his father fawn over Thor while he tried to match someone he never knew it would be impossible to match. He must have felt like he didn't belong in Asgard, like something was wrong with him. If he knew he would have at least understood." Tony argued and turned to Thor. "No wonder he went crazy, he was trying to prove himself as good as you. Your Dad is one messed up guy." Thor stood and they all heard thunder crack outside.
"You would do well to speak of the All Father with respect, Man of Iron."
"Why? He must have been comparing notes with my Dad on how to be a lousy father." Steve scoffed and Tony glared in his direction, "Got something to say, spangles?"
"Your father was a good man, you on the other hand aren't even close." Tony began to laugh then pretended to wipe a tear from his eye.
"Oh Cap, you should be a comedian. He was a 'good man' because you were his favourite little experiment; he was a bad father because no one could measure up to the brilliance that was Captain Fucking America. I grew up being told to be like you, that I would never be as good as you, that Steve Rogers would have been a better son than Tony Stark. You knew him for what? A couple of years? I knew him for seventeen; trust me he was not a good man."
"Guess he didn't like having a disappointment for a son." Steve said before he could stop himself. The hurt was clear across the genius' face. "Tony…"
"Get the hell out of my tower." Tony ordered, "Pack your things and go back to SHIELD where you belong."
"Stark," Natasha snapped, "If the Captain goes, we all go." Clint nodded and moved with Natasha to stand behind Steve.
"Fine, wouldn't expect any less from the SHIELD agents." Thor then moved to stand behind the Captain as well. "Thanks, Point Break, I was in a mood with you anyway." He turned to Bruce and smiled, "Guess it's just me and you now, Big Guy." Tony's smile faded as Bruce dropped his head and moved with the others. No, Bruce wouldn't leave him. They were science bros, he had finally found a good friend. "Bruce?"
"I'm sorry Tony, we're a team. We need to stick together and if that means I have to leave then I'm sorry."
"You'll be off the Avengers as soon as Fury is informed." Steve smiled bitterly, "I hope you're pleased."
"Just…get out of my tower."
He was alone, completely. The only noise in the tower was the soft hum and machines, his only constant. Tony walked over to the bar and poured himself a scotch. So he was back to this, drinking in his big empty tower with no one there for him. Pepper left when she couldn't deal with him nearly dying all the time, Bruce left because Tony messed up and he pushed everyone else away before he could get hurt further. Downing the glass he quickly filled enough and repeated this process. By the forth Jarvis stepped in.
"Sir, while I understand you are upset, I feel now you've had enough. Also there is an issue on the roof, I suggest you address it personally." The AI said.
"Jarvis, I know when I need to stop drinking." Tony sighed, pouring another glass and standing to head up to the roof.
"Sir, due to past experiences I must disagree with that…."
"Mute." He huffed and he got in the elevator. The AI grew more human every day, Tony was unsure how to feel about that. Opening the door to the roof he had to say he was shocked at the sight. There, sitting in tears on his roof, was the broken God of Mischief. He was skinnier than last time the two had met, his clothes were dirty and tattered, he was covered with blood both old and new and his face was marred with scars and scratches that were so crudely cut. "Jesus…someone did a number on you, eh Reindeer Games?" Loki's head snapped up and he seemed to curl away from the genius.
"If you are putting me in a containment cell until Thor arrives, allow me to walk myself." It sounded more like a plea than an order. Tony just looked at him in confusion and sat opposite him. Loki gave him a strange look, one that didn't understand why the other man was delaying his capture.
"You look like shit." Tony stated bluntly. Loki's mouth twitched and he began to laugh.
"Thank you for the brilliant observation." Loki chuckled a little more then calm down, "Why are you not containing me?"
"You don't look dangerous." Tony shrugged, "You just look hurt, like you could use someone on your side for a change." Loki scoffed and shook his head.
"Your little team won't approve."
"They don't approve of me right now." He admitted. "I screwed up when I got pushed."
"I know that feeling." Loki dropped his head. Tony took in his appearance again then got up and offered him a hand.
"At least let me get you cleaned up. Then you can leave or kill me or both but I feel guilty leaving a bleeding god on my roof so c'mon."
Loki had been living in the tower for a week when it happened. Surprisingly, Tony Stark had taken looking after the broken god his stride, seeming to make it his personal mission to get Loki back to health. The escape from the cells left his magic weak and this made the healing he had to do take all the longer.
Tony had got him clothes, bandaged him up and given him somewhere to live; the one thing Loki couldn't for the life of him figure out was why. Tony would brush it off and say he had the money, but why use it on a villain? The pair, however, quickly learn of their common interests and similarity in humour and were on their way to become good friends, as weird as that was. But that night changed things.
Tony was in the lab, insomnia keeping him awake so he decided to work on a vibranium gold alloy for a new suit. He was sure the god was upstairs asleep, peacefully forgetting all that happened to him on Asgard that he still refused to tell Tony. He had a feeling that the god was still wary about his reasoning to allow him so happily to live at the tower, but after the conversation Thor had with the Avengers a few days prior it was impossible to turn him away. Tony was shaken out of the memory by his AI's worried voice.
"Sir, Mr Laufeyson is currently having a violent nightmare. I advise you to go up to him." Tony raised his head from the suit and looked up.
"How bad is it?"
"A nine point nine on your scale of Justin Hammer to Afghanistan." Tony swore under his breath and headed up to the spare room, he opened the door to be greeted with a sobbing Loki curled up in the centre of his bed.
"Thor please! Don't let them!" A blood curdling scream tore from his throat and Tony got himself on the bed to pull Loki into his arms then began rocking him gently.
"Shh, c'mon you're safe now. They can't get you, I promise. I won't let them." Tony murmured soothingly, "Just wake up, Loki. " The god's cried became quieting and his thrashing slowed to a stop. Tony shook his should gently just to wake him up, so he wouldn't fall back into the terror. Loki shot up and flinched away from the arms around him until he was who they belonged to. "They did a real number on you didn't they?" Loki just curled back into Tony's arms and began to cry. "I know you aren't comfortable telling me what happened when Thor took you back, but we could come to a compromise." Tony offered. Loki looked up and raised an eyebrow to tell the genius to carry on. "Story for story. We work up to what happened and get to know each other better to. I ask you something about your past, you ask me about mine. We work up to the heavier stuff, but something tells me a lot of our conversations are going to be heavy. What do you say?"
"Can I start?" Tony nodded. "You seem to be understanding of what has happened to me, I can only assume Thor told you of my heritage and past." Tony nodded, "Why did you take me in?" Tony took a breath, this had been his idea he had to keep up his end of he deal.
"My Dad wasn't much of a father. I understood what it was like to grow up in someone else's shadow."
"But you're a genius! How was your father not proud of that?" Loki gaped. Tony smiled and shook his head.
"I was an annoying kid, I just wasn't who he wanted me to be."
Jarvis walked down the stairs to Howard's old workshop. The man hadn't used it since his company took off and now just had it for storage. Or so he thought. Jarvis knew better, he knew that little abandoned lab is where you would always find the youngest Stark. The butler was currently going down to bring the boy some band aids after a particularly nasty sounding crash. He knocked three times waited a beat then knocked twice more, letting the boy know it as only him.
"Jarvis!" Tony called from under a piece of machinery. "I'm over here! Did you bring plasters by any chance?"
"Yes, sir. And someone's favourite kind of cookie too." he smiled at the boy who jumped up and ran to the butler who handed him the cookie before picking him up and setting him on the edge of a table to patch him up. "What are you making this time, sir?"
"A robot!" The eight year old smiled toothily, then frowned slightly. "But I keep getting hurt because the bolts keep falling off. It's like it can't hold on to them! I used too weak an alloy, but I fixed it!"
"Sounds like this little robot is set to be a regular butterfingers." Jarvis laughed deeply. Tony giggled then gasped.
"That's it!"
"That's what, sir?"
"Butterfingers!" he grinned, "He needed a name but I couldn't think of one." He jumped up to lock the butler in a hug. "You're the best, Jarvis."
"Just promise me Butterfingers won't replace silly old me, eh?"
"Tony? Anthony Edward Stark where in hells name are you?" Howard bellowed from above them. Tony's eyes widened and he looked in panic at Jarvis.
"You won't let him find me down here will you? You know he would tell Mommy that I was working with machines again! They won't let me come down here anymore, he'll take Butterfingers!" Tears welled up in Tony's eyes. Jarvis stroked his hair.
" I wouldn't let him"
"Promise?" The boy asked shyly. Jarvis was about to reply when Howard burst in. "Daddy! Don't be mad!"
"Don't be mad? You deliberately disobeyed me! And you!" he turned on Jarvis. "Letting him come down here when you knew he wasn't allowed."
"Sir, with all due respect..."
"Don't be mad at Jarvis. I made him promise. I've been working on something to show you and it was a surprise because it isn't done yet." Tony hopped off the desk and went over to Butterfingers. He turned proudly to smile at his Dad. "He's called Butterfingers. He's my robot, I made him. Look!" He made the robot pick up a glass of water and move to hand it to Howard only to stall for a moment and tip the glass over him. Tony winced and smiled sheepishly. "Well he is called Butterfingers..."
"Go up to your mother Tony. Why can't you go help old women cross the street or try to be a nice little boy scout? You want to be like Captain America when you grow up, don't you?" Tony looked and his shoes and nodded slowly.
"Sir, he is just a child…" Jarvis began.
"Steve Rogers wouldn't be wasting his time disobeying his parents and wasting their valuable time. I don't have the time for your silly little toys." Howard sighed, angrily brushing at the water down his front, then headed back upstairs. Tony hadn't moved other than the quivering of his lip. Jarvis pulled the boy into a hug.
"He was impressed, he just has a lot on his plate with the company. He didn't mean it, Steve Rogers isn't half as talented as Tony Stark."
"You think so?" The boy had such hope of a glimmer of pride and affection from his own father swimming in his eyes that it hurt. Jarvis just smiled and moved to mop up the spill.
"I know so, sir."
"At eight years old I began to give up trying to please him. Unless I turned into Captain America overnight, I would never be good enough for him." Tony sighed, ending his story.
"Anthony…I am very sorry if I upset you by asking…"
"Lokes, calm down. It was my idea, no big deal." Loki smiled fondly at the nickname.
"Is Jarvis not the name of your speaking computer system?" Loki recalled.
"Yes, but it's not your turn to ask for a story."
"Very well, Anthony. Ask away." Tony thought for a second, one hundred questions whirring through his head until he settled on one.
"When did you know you didn't measure up to Thor by your Dad's standards?" Loki stiffened up and bit and took a deep breath.
"Starting at the deep end, I see."
"I could have thought of worse." Tony pointed out.
"True, true. Very well, this one it is."
He had tried to learn to fight like Father, how to slay a beast with a sword, how to make the ground shake when he yells out a battle cry. He had tried and failed. His mother, the wondrous woman she was, was highly skilled in magic. She, even though ageless, would still study in the library to learn all she could. That would make Father proud, if at the young age he was at he could rival his mothers skills. So he studied and practised, fighting frustration when only a flicker of a spark lit his hand. He focused more on magic than Thor ever had on his sparring and soon the fruits of his labour grew.
"Father! Father!" Loki cried with a grin, running up to the man watching his eldest son fight young Volstagg.
"What Loki? I have not time for your mewling." Odin stated coldly, never moving his gaze from Thor. That however did not deter the younger Odinson.
"No Father, this is important! I have been studying in the library and I have finally perfected my very own form of magic! Look Father!" Loki grinned, moving his hands to create an emerald green ball of light and energy. Odin's head snapped down at the glow and a snarl tore from his lips as he pushed his son's arms down.
"No Loki! How very dare you practice such things, you are a Prince not some maiden. Go, get out of my sight. One day you will learn to fight like Thor, until then do not bother me with such foolish tricks again! Be gone!" Loki bit his bottom lip and fought to keep the tears at bay as he ran back to his chambers. He flung himself upon the bed and curled against his pillows sobbing. He would never be as loved as Thor, as good as Thor, as...wanted. He heard a soft knock before the door opened to show his mother who rushed over as gather the boy in her lap.
"Hush, my son. Hush now, it is all well." she cooed, rocking him gently. She softly brought his chin up to look into his eyes. "What ever has happened?" Loki sniffles and huddled closer to her.
"I am not a warrior like Thor will be. I have been practicing magic, like you mother, I showed Father what I learnt and he was very displeased." Loki mumbled.
"Would you show me? I'm sure it was very good for one so young." Frigga smiled. Loki hesitantly nodded and crawled off her lap and raised his hands again to produce the ball of light. "Oh Loki! It is wonderful! Such control for one so young, you should be very proud my son." A small smile crept on his face.
"Thank you, Mother."
"I think it's more impressive." Loki looked up at Tony in confusion. "The magic thing. With enough training anyone can have brute strength but magic is like a science, you need a certain mind to be able to comprehend it." Loki smiled.
"I never thought of it in that way. Thank you, Anthony." Loki sat up to face Tony and for a moment let his natural reflexes take over. He pulled the other man into a hug and was just as shocked as Tony when he hugged him back. "I hate physical contact."
"Me too." Tony laughed, holding him tighter.
"I'm beginning you think you don't count."
"You threw me out a window, this is perfectly okay with me." Tony joked. Loki laughed and pulled back, looking sheepish.
"I apologise for that, I was not thinking straight, my mind was somewhat compromised." Tony held up his hands in surrender.
"Hey, all water under the bridge as far as I'm concerned. Now c'mon, I have an idea that could integrate magic into software. You want to have a look at it with me?" Tony asked like an excitable puppy. Loki laughed and nodded, "Awesome! C'mon then!" And as the god was being dragged up the wrist to Tony's lab be began to realise that maybe, just maybe, he had found someone to confide in. That maybe, after never belonging in Asgard, never wanting to belong in Jotenhiem, he had finally found a home.
So what do you think? Please review and alert this, the next chapter will probably be up tomorrow :)
