Hey guys! Well, I've just seen so many great ones of these, these A-Z fics that I really wanted to try out my own hand at it and see how it turns out. So here it is, starting from A =] Enjoy!

Prologue: Abandon

22 year old Ian James Rider paced across his bedroom for about the millionth time that minute. A foot from where he paced was a small baby carrier set on the floor. In it, Ian's vibrant three month old nephew was gurgling and babbling in a nonsense language of his own, flailing his arms towards his uncle and grinning wildly. He had a mop of messy blond hair and his midnight blue eyes shone with his excitement. But Ian wasn't paying one bit of attention to him. He was too busy walking a hole through the floor. He felt distraught. He felt unsettled, hurt, angry, frustrated, guilty, weak-he felt so many things in the pit of his stomach he wasn't even sure how he really felt anymore. He'd already cried what few tears had slipped his cold exterior and now had no release for all these emotions boiling over inside of him. But on top of it all, the one thing that had to make it to the top of the list was disbelief. He couldn't believe what had happened to him in the past hours. How fast the already fragile thing that was his life had fallen apart.

They were gone.

John and Helen were gone. Dead. Never to come back.

They'd left him. Left him all alone in the cruel world like everyone else had. They'd just abandoned him and left him with their three month old son. Not to get him wrong, he loved Alex with his life. The little guy was just as good as his own son, but Alex was three god damned months old. He was so young and he needed such specific care (Ian would sometimes sit around and watch Helen care for the little boy.) And Ian was a 22 year old young man, just barely out of college, an MI6 agent of six years that took the highest ranked missions involving being away for long periods of time. Oh and lets not forget the two most important people in the world to him had just been blown to smithereens by a bomb in their plane and now Ian was left with the house, the cars, the bank accounts and the kid. He knew he had to pull himself together for both himself and the kid, but god, he had just lost so much in so little time that he didn't even know where to start...

Ian ran a hand through his short dirty blond hair in a frustrated manner. As he turned around, his nephew's giggling caught his attention. He paused to stare at the boy for a moment...so innocent and full of joy. Not a clue in the world that his parents were dead or that life was going to be hell once he was old enough to understand it. Ian wished he could be that ignorant.

The boy outstretched his arms towards Ian, becoming slightly frustrated by his uncle's lack of response. Ian smiled as Alex fought against the seatbelts of the carrier. He walked over and crouched in front of the boy.

"You're really cute, you know that?" he said softly tapping the tip of his nephew's nose. Alex burst into a fit of giggles. "You look just like him. It almost hurts..." Ian's voice dropped even lower.

And as if he had sensed his uncle's hurt, Alex suddenly calmed down and sighed sullenly...well at least as sullenly as a three month old could sigh. Ian chuckled at the younger. "Alright, lets get you some food. How's that sound?" he said beginning to undo the seatbelts "you haven't had anything to eat since they dropped you off, have you?"

Alex tilted his head to a side.

"They only gave me about a week's supply of your food...and then I guess we'll have to go grocery shopping" Ian said "But that's not the point. I have to feed you...because you're my responsibility now. And I've got to watch over you...because you're my brother's kid...you know? His legacy, his blood-well I'm his blood too but that's the point either. I'll take care of you and keep you happy...and you just keep smiling, okay?"

Alex shrieked something incomprehensible.

Ian chuckled "That smile of yours can work miracles. I feel like I'm looking at your dad smiling all over again. It's a great feeling in here" he pointed at his chest.

Alex popped a finger into his mouth in the most innocent way imaginable. Ian laughed, picked his nephew out of the carrier and stood up, heading off to the kitchen.

"You better remember all that kiddo, you're never going to hear any of this ever again. I'm not very good with my emotions. I can never look someone in the eye and spill my heart out to them knowing they'll react to it. Because that leaves space for them to react negatively...become disgusted and leave. Abandon me..." Ian trailed off; why on earth was he telling all this to his three month old nephew? His train of thought was cut off as Alex gently laid his head on his uncle's chest. Ian's smiled at the younger. Oh yeah, this was definitely going to be some fatherhood experience.

Ian sighed. His brother's son.

Well, how was it? Be sure to let me know!

On a different note, for my Quondam Iterum or Savin' Me readers, don't kill me, I know I'm in no place to start a new story but I've been working really hard to get new chapters for those up, so hopefull they'll be done soon =]

Till then, feedback is loved, and if any of you have any requests or ideas for any letter whatsoever pleas, please feel free to let me know through review or pm or whatever. Just let me know. I love your ideas as much as I love my own =]

Review! =]