Angry Kitty: We wrote this for the sole purpose of gettinh rid of writer's block!
Tom: We also wrote another little filler story but SOME ONE forgot to type it up. (glares at Sassy)
Sassy: I'M SORRY! I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!
Yuki: Well we all knew that-
Sassy: WHAT ARE YOU IMPLIEING!
Yuki: TT Isn't it ovious?.
Tom: For crying out loud! Just say the stupid disclaimer!
Angry Kitty: we don't own Furuba OR jerry springer so... SUE AND I'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!
Tom: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUTTHREATENING PEOPLE!
Angry Kitty: (flees)
CHAPTER ONE
The set looked like a living room, with three, comfy chairs and a coffee table. The audience, however, looked either pissed off or scared, and were all tied to their seats. The occupiers of the chairs were leaving the audience confused as well, until one of them spoke.
"Hello and welcome to Truth or Dare: Furuba Style! We're your hosts, the Cute Critters Gang!" An orange cat with yellow stripes chirped into the microphone, sitting comfortably on one of the chairs. "I'm Angry Kitty, this is Sassy," she gestured to a snow-white horse t her left, "and Tom," who was a small, ordinary-looking squirrel seated to her right.
Silence met with Angry Kitty's words.
"HEY!" one irate audience member yelled, "Why the fuck did you kidnap us? And how can you TALK?"
"We're magic," Angry Kitty replied.
"And we couldn't find a real audience. So we kidnapped one!" Sassy said cheerfully.
IIIIIIII
Jerry Springer sat in his comfy talk show chair, looking out at the empty audience seats.
"What happened to all my fans? Weren't we sold out?" he whined.
A nervous body guard named Steve scurried up to him.
"Um, sorry Mr. Springer, sir," he stammered, "but a talking cat just took off with our audience. I would've stopped her, but she had explosives!"
Shaking his fists, Jerry leaped to his feet and yelled, "I'LL GET THEM BACK IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!"
Steve nearly fell off the stage in fright.
"Come Steve! We have work to do!
"Um … Okay?"
IIIIIIIIIIII
"And besides," Tom said consolingly, "who wants to listen to Jerry Springer anyway?"
"NOW!" Angry Kitty yelled, interrupting the angry mutterings that came from the crowd, "Our first victim-I mean, guest-is none other than the one and only KYO SOHMA!"
Silence followed her words.
"START CLAPPING!" Sassy shrieked at them, shocking most of them into submissive applause.
Kyo was brought out, also chained to his chair and spitting mad.
"WHY THE FUCK AM I ALWAYS THE FIRST GUEST?" He raged at them as he was unceremoniously plunked down next to their own chairs, "BOTH HERE AND IN YOUR OTHER CRAPPY STORY!"
"Lost in Furuba was not crappy!" Angry Kitty gasped.
"The hell it wasn't!"
"And your always first because people love you!" Sassy told him.
Kyo looked at her like she was on crack, "Uh, no, actually, everyone hates me."
"Well, in OUR world, people love you." Tom said, whipping out a remote and pressing a button eagerly.
A portion of the wall slid back, showing a large-screen TV. With another click of the button, the TV came to life. It showed a large, golden statue of Kyo, and about two hundred people surrounding it, bowing and chanting his name.
"How come I can't live in your world?" he whined.
"Because life's a bitch. NOW KYO!" Angry Kitty said with a malevolent grin, "Truth or Dare?"
He stared at her. "WHAT?"
"That's why you're here," Tom said boredly, "To play truth or dare. And if you don't answer within the next thiry seconds, I'll electrocute you."
Knowing full well that these three were demented, he hissed, "Fine, fine, Truth!"
Sassy gave him a wicked smirk. "Do you love Tohru?"
He choked on air. "WHAT?"
"Oh, dear, you've started to repeat yourself," Tom said, sounding uninterested, though her eyes were riveted on him.
"I said: 'Do you love Tohru?' Well, do you?" Sassy asked impatiently.
"I … that is … I mean …"
"JUST SPIT IT OUT ALL READY!" Angry Kitty yelled.
"YES!" There was a pause, before Kyo blushed darkly.
"Aw, well isn't that cute. And how do you feel about that, Tohru?" Tom called to the person that had risen to her feet during Kyo's confession. Tohru was illuminated by a spotlight, as she looked down at Kyo in shock.
He looked up at her in horror. Crap.
"Well, I …" she blushed, "I love you, too."
The crowd aww'ed.
"HEY! What about me?" someone shouted. Another spotlight lit up the form of Yuki Sohma, on the other side of the audience.
"What ABOUT you, Yuki?" Angry Kitty asked disdainfully.
Tom nodded, "Yeah, no one likes you."
"People do like me! Everyone likes me! I have my own FANCLUB for crying out loud!"
"Yes," Sassy agreed, "But do you have a shrine?"
His jaw dropped, "Wha-Bu-no!"
"And besides," Tom interrupted, "You turn into a rat. Rats are disgusting. Cats are cute and cuddly, and don't live in sewers. Everyone likes cats over rats."
"Watch!" Angry Kitty piped up, whipping out an adorable butterscotch kitten that blinked at them with big blue eyes.
The crowd aww'ed again.
Then, she pulled out a rat, hanging it by its tail.
"EWW!"
"THAT'S DIGUSTING!"
"SICK!"
Yuki hung his head and sat back down.
"Yeah, that's what I THOUGHT!" Kyo said triumphantly.
"Now, onto the Dare portion of the proceedings!" Angry Kitty snickered.
"Wait, DARE? I chose Truth!" Kyo protested.
"Oh, didn't we tell you?" Tom asked. "Each victim-pardon me, GUEST has to answer one question truthfully and one dare."
"WHAT KIND OF RULES ARE THOSE?"
"Good ones. Now, I dare you to," Sassy paused, "Eat a whole bag of leeks!"
Tom pulled out a bag filled with leeks and placed it in front of Kyo.
"WHAT? HELL NO!"
"You'll do it or you'll get electrocuted," Angry Kitty told him.
"I still say hell no!"
With a press of a big red button on the arm rest of her chair, Tom sent electric shocks coursing through Kyo's body.
"OW! THAT HURTS LIKE A MOTHER!" he shrieked, his clothes smoking.
Angry Kitty then began calmly and methodically shoving leeks down his throat, oblivious to the gagging sounds he was making. Once the bag was empty, Kyo looked decidedly green.
"I think I'm going to hurl."
"Well sucks to be you!" Tom said cheerfully.
Suddenly, the wall blew up, raining debris on the unfortunate audience members. When the dust cleared, Jerry Springer was standing in the hole Steve the body guard had made with dynamite, a huge machine gun in his hands.
"You STOLE MY AUDIENCE you little BITCH!" he screamed at Angry Kitty, firing sporadically.
Angry Kitty, Sassy, and Tom had taken cover, dragging Kyo (who was still tied up) with them.
"What the hell, Angry Kitty! You stole JERRY SPRINGER'S audience? He's a fucking nut job!" Sassy screamed.
"I didn't think he'd mind!" she yelled back.
Calmly, Tom stepped out of hiding.
"Dude, Jerry, chill out. Take your audience back; we don't even need them anymore."
Panting, the crazed host eyed the small squirrel dubiously, "Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"Oh, well, okay then," he said, tossing his machine gun to the side.
Sassy and Angry Kitty peeked their heads out of hiding.
"Nice." Was all they had to say at their destroyed set.
"Well," Angry Kitty sighed, "That's all for now, since we have to rebuild our whole fucking set and find a new audience."
"TTFN!"
END
Angry Kitty: Hey! It didn't work! I still have writer's block!
Tom: SSH! They don't need to know that!
Yuki: Of course it didn't work, that was so stupid!
Sassy: You're just mad because Kyo got Tohru.
Yuki: (snap) I HATE YOU ALL! (stomps off)
Tom: Love you too, honey!
Angry Kitty: Now review or I'll sic JERRY SPRINGER on you!
Tom: WHY! Why do you CONTINUE to threaten the ones we love?
Agry Kitty: ... I have issues.
Yuki: We can see that.
Sassy: KYO AND TOHRU SITTING IN A TREE!
Yuki: AHH! IT BURNS!
