The inspiration for this came while I was watching the episode where Dethklok hires that other manager. I can't remember much more about it than that, but here you go. I might add more later, if I can come up with more. Or if people like it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Metalocalypse or any of the characters.
There were many things he knew. As he had discovered, the more you knew, the better equipped you were to deal with the unexpected. That is why the CFO had personally taken the time to learn as much as he could about Dethklok. It wasn't easy, seeing as how they all liked their private lives to stay private, but he had managed to learn quite a bit about the five of them. It helped that they all confided in him, and he could learn the rest from Twinkletits. For example:
He knew that Nathan tried really hard to be the leader of the band. No matter how he grumbled and groaned about his bandmates relying on him to be the leader, Charles knew Nathan was secretly proud of it. He also knew that Nathan worried that he wasn't as brutal as the others were. He knew Nathan painted his fingernails black to feel more 'metal.' Charles also knew that Nathan cared for the rest of Dethklok, even if it wasn't metal to care. Charles knew that Nathan wasn't that smart, and knew Nathan knew it too. He knew that Nathan struggled with song lyrics, because he tended to make up words. Charles knew that Nathan hated his intelligence, and knew that Nathan would come in the middle of the night, usually drunk, and talk about random. Charles also knew that Nathan did not remember what they talked about. Whenever he asked, Charles knew it made Nathan feel better to hear it was just about song lyrics or band dynamics, instead of the things that stripped away the robotic outer shell Charles had carefully constructed.
Charles knew that Murderface only worried he was gay, because women found him repugnant. He knew that if anyone would step forward and show Murderface some love, he would leap at it. He knew that Murderface never, not once, felt loved. Charles knew this caused a lot of unrest in the bassist's being, causing him to act like a dick. He knew that Murderface pushed people away, so they wouldn't get a chance to reject him. He knew the day that Murderface officially joined Dethklok was the happiest day of his life, because he felt accepted, a part of something. Charles knew that Murderface hated himself, because he felt the rest of the world hated him. Charles knew Murderface woke up in the middle of the night, plagued by nightmares. Everyone thought that the murder-suicide of his parents happened when he was too young to remember, but Charles knew Murderface had dreams that his father, who he couldn't even remember, was coming after him next, arms and legs floating through the air towards him. Charles knew that if his parents had raised him, he might not have turned into the most under-appreciated bassist in the world.
Charles knew that Pickles did drugs. Everyone knew Pickles did drugs. But the CFO knew why Pickles abused them. He knew that Pickles first got into the habit as a way of dealing with the neglect of his parents, and to deal with being in Seth's shadow his whole life. Saying it was for 'kiddie glaucoma' was just a cover-up. Charles knew that being a rocker meant substance abuse, and that, for Pickles, it reached its peak during Snakes N' Barrels. Charles knew that Pickles did drugs now, as an attempt to recapture his former glory days. He knew that Pickles missed his days with Snakes N' Barrels, and that Pickles missed his hair. He knew that it depressed Pickles every time he looked in a mirror and saw his dreadlocks, and the comb over. The CFO also knew that Pickles easily got lost when he was playing the drums, losing himself in the beat. He knew that Pickles was the most dedicated to his craft, even more so than Skwisgaar. Charles knew Pickles had renamed himself after running away from home, abandoning his real name. he knew he was called 'Pickles' because it was the first thing the drummer had to eat after a week of starvation, before he met Snakes N' Barrels.
Charles knew that Skwisgaar had his entire body completely free of hair, except for his head. He knew that every day Skwisgaar painstakingly had his entire body waxed, or shaven, depending on the day. He knew that Skwisgaar was a neat freak and a germ-a-phobe and that after he was finished with his milfs and g-milfs, he would have the bed completely changed and took a hot shower. He knew that it bothered the Swede for anything in his personal area to be even slightly dirty. Charles also knew that Skwisgaar went after the old ladies, and the fat ladies, and the skanky ladies, because no one else would have them. He knew that when Skwisgaar wanted something, he wanted it to be only his, that no one had before, and no one would have after. He knew Skwisgaar liked to be challenged. He knew that Skwisgaar always had his guitar with him, because he felt it protected him. Charles knew that, as a child, with all sorts of strange men, his guitar was the only constant thing that he could control. He knew that Skwisgaar detested his mother because he was turning out to be just like her. He knew Skwisgaar blamed her for his promiscuity.
Charles knew that Toki was a kid inside. He knew it was because Toki had a suppressive childhood, and that all he wanted now was to be happy. He knew that everyone was easier on Toki, because they partially understood why he was childlike. He knew that Toki had been abused as a child, and that he woke up in the middle of the night because of nightmares. He knew that Toki sometimes wandered to Murderface's room when they were both awake. He knew Murderface couldn't turn Toki away, because he felt that Toki's suffering made his look insignificant. He knew that Toki, on the nights that Murderface was sleeping, would wander into his other bandmates' rooms, seeking comfort. He knew that Toki was almost never turned away, but when he was, he knew Toki would find him. The CFO also knew that everyone had a soft spot for Toki, and he knew that several arguments were started because the other four disagreed about how to react to something. He knew that Toki would unknowingly end those arguments.
Charles also knew that his actions were fueled by odd motivation. He knew he would never allow himself to be separated from Dethklok. He knew he had to see this to the end, whatever 'this' was.
Feel free to tell me what you think!
