Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story line...much to my dismay


"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you."

-Elbert Hubbard


"Son, are you alright?" A light is shining on me. A man kneels, or sits, in front of me. My head hurts. Something drips on my face. I smell copper.

"Hey! We need some help here! We have six people! Boys! Four aren't breathing!"

"Found another! He's alive, but in critical condition!"

"Son, can you tell us your name?" He addresses me. I stare at him. My head hurts. The light is too bright. Why do I smell copper? Something drips on my face.

"Son, can you hear me?" I can't move. My head hurts. The light is too bright. "I NEED SOME HELP HERE!" Can you stop shouting? My head hurts. I smell copper.

"We need seven ambulances NOW!"

"Right away."

"I need some help over here!"

"Found another?"

"Yeah! This one is still alive, but severely banged up."

"Shit! Make that eight. Eight ambulance and we need them here YESTERDAY!"

"Sir, they have just arrived."

"Good. Now let's get them loaded up."

"Son, there is an ambulance here for you and it is going to take you to the hospital." Copper. I smell copper. Something drips on my face. Water. The light is too bright. My head hurts. I can't move.

I am lifted. I feel nauseous. Everything hurts. I am lying down. The light is too bright. My head hurts. Doors are slammed. A siren. I am moving. I am not. Something is moving me. Ouch. I wish the pain would stop. Make it stop. Please?

Doors open. I am moved. More lights. More pain. My head hurts. I still smell copper. It's on me. I don't want to smell it. I don't want to hurt. I don't want to-

I stop. Something stops that thought. I don't want to what? Ouch. My head hurts. I don't want to smell copper. I don't want to hurt. I don't want to-what? Ouch! Stop hurting! I don't want to- I don't want to- I don't want to-remember...Remember what? ...Ichigo.

Someone comes in. They ask me questions. I can't move. I can't answer. They say I have a concussion. I have some cuts. They sew me up. I probably look like Frankenstein's monster. My head still hurts. There is a needle in my hand. It itches. I want to sleep. Another person comes in. He isn't dressed the same.

"Son, may I ask you a few questions?" That voice. It was from before. I try to focus. It hurts. Everything hurts. I try to nod. Pain. Pain pain pain. I do nod.

"What is your name?" I open my mouth to answer. My voice is not my voice.

"Renji...Abarai." Pain. So much head hurts.

"Can you recall for me what happened?"

"Sir? I'm sorry, but your questions will have to wait until tomorrow." A woman says. The man leaves. I am alone. The lights are out. My head hurts. I fall asleep.

I wake up. I hurt everywhere. I'm thirsty. There is water by my bed. I reach for it. There is a needle in my hand. It itches. I drink. Someone enters. They ask how I am feeling. Isn't it obvious? They leave. The man from last night comes in. I recognize him now. I dislike him.

"Son...Mr. Abarai. Would you mind telling me what went down last night." I shake my head. Pain. Duller pain. My voice is more my own. Tears fall. I am crying.

"My friends...are they?" I can't finish. He knows what I mean.

"Of the eight we found, four are still alive. Two of them have yet to wake up, and one is still asleep." I frown. Isn't that the same? He notices. "The two, the doctors believe, are in a coma." My eyes widen. "We will have to ask someone to identify them so we can tell their families."

I look at my lap. Four survived. Ichigo is dead. I know that much. I want to be dead, too. I deserve it.

"Son, we need to know what happened."

"I'll tell you. But I am starting from the beginning." My head hurts. The lights are far too bright. I want to die. I want to cry. I am crying. Why isn't the pain going away? Isn't crying supposed to help? The man grabs a chair and sits down. He takes out a black box. A recorder. I hope it has a lot of memory.

"Anytime you're ready, son."

Deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Swallow. Inhale. Begin.

"My name is Renji Abarai. This is the story of my best friend, of an outcast, a dove, of a small coffee shop, a drawing, and of a few lies. This is the story of my best friend. This is the story of how I killed him."


Please tell me what you thought? If you have any comments, questions, concerns, don't hesitate to share. The next chapter will be up shortly.