This is based on a one shot in my series "Rule 12" (you can find it on my profile page). A few people wanted to read the full version of their conversation so here it is. I would love to hear what you guys think.
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Enjoy
He had checked and double checked with the nurse just to make sure that he'd heard right: they were sending her home whenever she was ready? Ziva had just been shot in the shoulder a few hours ago, how was she free to go. But she was and he was here to pick her up so he thanked the impatient nurse with a charming a smile and a twitch of his nose and Tony headed down the hallway.
He knocked once before entering, not bothering to ask if she was decent and immediately jumped inside to close the door so no one would hear her accusatory shouts. "What the hell were you thinking?" Ziva David: the woman who could tear you apart with her arm still in a cast and make it look like an accident – not that she'd want to.
He didn't need to know what she was talking – yelling – about. "I was thinking you needed back up. Running around doing stupid things is usually my job."
"It still is." She snapped, leaping from the bed, ignoring the ache in her wrapped shoulder. "I had everything under control until you came in and nearly got yourself shot."
He would have laughed if she didn't look furious. Instead he scoffed, letting all the worry and anger seep into him. "Everything under control? I came in and you were on the floor bleeding from that giant hole in your shoulder."
"And as a result you had to go bat-stir crazy and shoot everyone in the room?"
"The term is"
"I don't care what the term is, I care that you…" she poked him in the shoulder but paused when the words got caught in her throat. You almost got shot and I couldn't stop it. "you are going to get yourself killed. Or worse, someone else. How could you have been so reckless?"
I just couldn't let you go in there alone. "Says the woman who went into a room full of armed men without her partner. Partners are supposed to have each other's backs."
She poked him again and he rubbed his chest defensively. "I can handle myself; I need a partner who does what he's supposed to." I can't have you getting hurt. It would hurt me too much.
"That's not a partner, that's a lapdog." For once could we not fight?
"Is that what this is about?" She rolled her eyes, stepping to the middle of the room. "You think I'm mistreating you?" I only treat you like that because you act like a child.
He followed her "No. This is about you…" you getting shot and making me watch. He swallowed his words, feeling the twinge of regret follow it up.
She waved her one good arm, wildly while she paced the floor. "What, Tony? What is this actually about?" Say it.
"Fine you want the truth?" Don't make me say it.
"Yes!" Please.
The world held a breath as Tony licked his lip, gathering his courage. "The truth is…" All energy drained from him as he looked into her eyes; dark chocolate and pleading for something he just wasn't ready for. Truth is I'm a coward.
She shook her head, trying her best not to sound accusatory. "You can't even say it." Like you've said it, Ziva?"
"Oh, because you've said it already?" Just say it first, I'm still taking my cues from you.
She startled when he seemed to read her mind, turning her head up defensively. "I do not need to say it." Because I'm a coward.
"The hell you don't." Again, he surprised even himself, his aggression unexpected and loud. "This isn't just about me." There are two people in this and you're just as responsible.
I need to go. I need to not be here. Before I do something foolish. She patted his chest, taking a step back."No it is not. This is about you…and I."
"There is no you and I." There is and you just won't admit it.
"And that is precisely the point." She turned to the door and bowed her head, prepared to leave. I want there to be an us.
"Ziva." Tell her, tell her exactly how you feel. He froze.
She turned to him, expectantly. "Yes, Tony?" Tell me, tell me exactly how you feel.
You're an idiot, what aren't you telling her? Tell her that you…that you…you can't even say it in your head. Coward. You call yourself a federal agent? She deserves to hear it. Maybe she knows. How would she know?
"That is what I thought." He blinked at her. Lost in his own thoughts, he'd lost his opportunity. What were you thinking, Ziva? Office relationships never work out. You know that.
"Why do we need to say it?" He pleaded. "We've never said it before." And look where that's gotten us.
She stepped back into his space, looking up at him with those big brown eyes, so wide and searching. "Because we almost died, again. And because someone once said that some things don't need to be said, but they are worth saying." You were talking about us when you said that, Tony, you had to have been.
He chuckled, his eyes never leaving hers. "Sounds like a pretty smart guy." And I meant it.
She sunk into her hip and looked up at him through her eyelashes. "He is alright."
"Alright? You're totally in love with him." Did you just say that? Is it wrong?
"And he is in love with me." Did you just say that? Is it wrong?
His brow wrinkled and his mouth twitched. Say it. Say IT! "Do you ever think you'll be able to say it to each other?"
"Perhaps…" She nodded. Yes! It does need saying. "Perhaps it does not need saying after all. We know the truth."
He smiled. "Yes, we do. But is it enough?" Please don't let this be enough.
"For now. No! Coward.
He could feel the sharks circling as they treaded water, getting dangerously close to a territory they rarely ventured into and never stayed long. I'm still taking my cues from you. "And when it stops being enough?"
I don't have the answers, I just know that I don't want to lose you in my life and as much as I want to say it, it might be best not to. "We will cross that bridge when we come to it."
He stepped forward into her space, surrounding her, completely. She just stared up at him. "Why can't we cross it now?" You're right. Doesn't mean I have to like it.
"Because there is still too much pain." My heart hurts from everything that's happened recently. I'm not thinking straight.
A placed a gentle hand just above her wound, al his misery and love replaced with worry. "Is your shoulder hurting?" I hate when you get hurt. I know you can handle yourself. That doesn't mean I'll stop worrying.
"No;" she stepped back "my shoulder is fine." I hate when you touch me like that. I can't concentrate.
He let her pull away but he wasn't about to let her go. Please don't walk out the door with things left unfinished. "Come home with me?"
YES! "Wha" She froze, her eyes wide. Panicked.
"There's a Lana Turner marathon on Movie Central I think you'd like it." He soothed. This way I know you'll get some sleep and I won't be up worrying about you.
It only took a moment for her to nod with a small smile on her face. "Alright." She stepped back again, her movements ridged as she indicated the nurse's station down the hall. "I have to sign out." What am I getting myself into? Not that I wouldn't want to go home with him. Why is this so hard?
His face lit up with the smile that would have melted her heart were she not stuck in her own world. "Great, I'll go get the car." He practically skipped passed her. I can't believe she said yes.
Don't let him go without saying something. "Tony?"
He swung around the door frame to face her. "Yes?" She looks so beautiful, even with that cast. Because of the cast? With the cast. She's beautiful. He shook his head, forcing himself to concentrate. Get it together, DiNozzo.
A few little words and he was gone again. "Thank you; for being my partner today." I Love You.
He smirked. "Always." I Love You, Too.
