Belief
There is a widely held belief that a man fantasizes of another when intimate with his significant other.
For John Sheppard that is a fallacy.
The woman he fantasizes about is his significant other.
While intimate, all he can do is think about her. Her thoughts, her movement, her breath. He contemplates how to satisfy her and it is much more than physical. She has him desperate, hungry for more and it's taken him forever to find that out. Now he doesn't ever want to go back.
Before, he would be a one-hit wonder. Love 'em and leave 'em. It was his Modus Operandi, expected from him, so he accepted the occasion. Then he met her. She thought more of him than what he had thought of himself. All she wanted from him was contemplation. That was it. All she had to do was ask and he found himself willing to give, willing to come back for more.
So he considered.
Now she didn't need to ask. He could anticipate her. Her every movement, her every thought. Every breath. They operated as one and he didn't think they could get any better. He wondered why anything else never felt as good, felt as real as when he was with her. Maybe it was her belief in him that gave him strength. Elizabeth was more than willing to bestow upon him her faith.
Unwavering faith.
Sometimes he thought he wasn't deserving of it, as if it would be better suited for someone worthier than he. But at times like these when she was in his arms so disposed to his contact he knew she wouldn't have given it to anyone else. Their breathing was heavy, in perfect synchronisation. He would breathe in every breath she breathed out. Who would've known that a girl like her would allow him inside her? She restored him. Who would've known that he would stay? She was sacred. Loving her was a religion and he'd gladly be the high priest of that belief. Nothing else mattered.
She was the closest he could get to heaven without dying.
That's all that he needed to believe.
"This is crazy," she exhaled into his neck.
"For me?" he pulled back to look her in the eye. "Not so much."
fin
