A brief introduction:
Hi! This is FantabulousUnicorn, and this here, is my first fanfic. So don't be too harsh, okay?
Warnings
-This is sort of just me goofing off.
-I try not to offend people.
- I try not to copy other fanfics, so if you see any quotes that might come from other fanfics, just know that I'm not copying.
- I don't know what else to write here...
Anyway, hope you enjoy! :D
Chapter 1
Ness waded into the cool ocean water. This was a rare treat, as usually around this time (it was 4:30 pm) Ness would be fighting or doing some other shit. He had nothing for the rest of the day, and neither did his best friend Lucas. Not knowing what to do, they just counted out their options. Hanging around in Smash Mansion wasn't an option. Peach and Mario were giving a puberty talk at 5:00 pm, and hearing it was the last thing Ness and Lucas wanted to do. (They had no interest in learning about body odor, voice changes, growing hair, and other strange things that… should be left unlisted.) Playing baseball wasn't an option. They lacked the sufficient amount of people. Their friends were all at the puberty talk. Going to the library wasn't fun, only Lucas, Robin, Zelda and Peach went there. So going to the private beach was the best thing to do.
Of course, getting there was a problem. Ness - who was one of the original 12 smashers - was quite famous. One of the most famous smashers in Sm4sh. Lucas was also famous, but not that famous for a smasher. This fame had caused them to outrun fans already on their way here. All of the smashers hated being mobbed by fans, but it was part of life. Although being a smasher gave you hospitality, a high reputation, and fame, dealing with fans always made living in the mansion much harder. So Ness and Lucas were wearing a clever disguise of 2 normal 14 year old boys. Ness felt odd without his backpack (which contained his bat, yo-yo and other useful things) and cap, but this would do.
Lucas had only just arrived in the mansion. Unlike Ness and most other smashers, he was given his acceptance letter late, along with 6 other smashers. Popo and Nana (who were Ness and Lucas's good friends) also couldn't make it, and neither could Red, the Pokémon trainer, who also happened to be a friend.
Ness was glad to have Lucas next to him. He was lonely with only Pittoo, Mega-Man, Toon Link, and Villager. Pit was maturing, spending more time with Palutena and helping her than playing around with the rest of the kids. Ness missed his best friend and was frustrated over the fact that he couldn't contact him. The reason was: Over break, Lucas had to return to his own time period, and Ness couldn't send letters to the future, could he?
"Ness!" Lucas called from deeper in the water. "Do you wanna go boogie boarding?"
Ness grinned. "Sure! Coming!"
As he walked through the waves, he was surprised by feeling a rock under his foot where soft sand should be. His foot smashed into it, causing a flare of pain to shoot up his leg. He winced and clenched his teeth.
"Are you okay?" Lucas asked, running over.
"Yeah, just stubbed my toe on a stupid random rock." Ness rubbed his foot and reached into the water with his other hand. He felt around in the sand for the rock until his finger hit something hard. But - this wasn't a rock. Oh duh, he thought. We're in a beach, it's a seashell, not a rock! He sighed and scolded himself for his own stupidity. He picked up the seashell, which was strangely large for a shell. "This random thing just was… there." He said.
Lucas frowned. "Well that's a bit weird."
Lucas was right. On the beach of Smash City, hardly any shells or rocks washed up onto shore. Ness nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's weird."
Ness brought the shell to his face and studied it. The color was already odd, it was a bright turquoise, eventually fading away into a baby blue. The thing that really peaked Ness's interest was that instead of astray lines or holes in it, there were strange markings decorating the smooth surface, reminding Ness of hieroglyphs.
"Hey Lucas!" yelled Ness. "Look at this shell, it's actually pretty cool!"
"Coming!"
Lucas came running over, splashing salt water all over Ness's face. Ness gagged. "Look, the color is weird, and it has weird markings all over this side of it."
Lucas inspected the shell. "Huh, that's pretty cool. Are we gonna keep it?"
Ness shook his head. "Nah, I'll just chuck it into the ocean so some other smasher kids can find it." He charged up a good throw and the shell flew out of his hand. It sailed far, far, far away to the point where the pair of psychics could not see it.
Lucas snorted. "Yeah, like anyone would be able to find it after a throw like that."
"Aww, shut up." Ness playfully socked Lucas in the shoulder. "I'll admit, that throw was way too far, but it'll eventually wash up here."
Ness was the baseball champion in Onett, and he had the best back throw out of 58 smashers. So of course he was going to chuck that shell farther than any professional baseball player could. Lucas should've known that.
"Whatever you insist." Lucas said. "But I'm pretty sure the only things that will find that shell are fish."
"Crabs, starfish, other random sea creatures." Ness listed, trying to piss the blonde psychic off. Lucas sighed in exasperation, so that meant Ness was doing a good job. He smiled innocently.
"You know what I mean, Ness!" Lucas exclaimed.
"What?"
Sigh.
Sigh.
"Ness, don't act stupid."
"What's so stupid?"
Sigh.
Sigh.
"Ness, I know that you know what I mean."
"Huh, I know that you know. Nice one!"
Glare.
Glare.
Lucas sighed. "I'm not gonna argue with you. You're too stubborn."
Ness bowed until the top of his nose touched the surface of the water. "Why, thank you kind sir!" He rose again, smiling delightedly at Lucas's glare.
"Shut up!" Lucas used telekinesis to smash a wall of water into Ness's smiling face.
"Well that wasn't very nice!" Gasped a sputtering Ness. He quickly regainedhis composure. "But thank you for the gift, kind sir. You can have it back." He said sweetly, kindly returning the favor.
Lucas took a good dump full of water to the face. "Hey!"
Ness cackled. At this, Lucas raised his arms, and water began to stir under the shadow of his hands. It would've seemed dangerous, but Lucas's laughing (not evilly) face gave it away.
The water began to rise, and Ness ran for it. Lucas chased him, abandoning the psychic telekinesis attempt and going for the nice, stupid looking, through the water chase. Lucas was a much faster runner than Ness, but they were both laughing, which caused them to go much slower.
Ness found himself ahead. After a while of laughing, chasing, and overall just looking stupid, Lucas threw himself at him in a desperate attempt to catch the fugitive. Ness cried out and the two psychics plunged into the water. Ness was assaulted by the weight of a potato sack, a bunch of flailing limbs, and saltwater. The boys came up laughing and sputtering. As soon as they gained their bearings, Ness spewed out a mouthful of water at Lucas's face. The blonde responded to this with a disgusted expression and a high pitched "Ew!" Ness, seeing an opportunity to cause the blonde more despair, yelled "Geronimooooooo!" and tackled him.
So this was how the battle went, tackling, laughing, dunking, spitting, wrestling and shouting. They did this for about an hour until they were shivering and their teeth were chattering. Ness dragged himself out of the water and rubbed his sore muscles. He conjured up a small PK Fire in his palm and cupped the flame in his hands. He then used it to dry himself off a little and warmth creeped back into his body. He sighed contently.
Lucas crawled out of the water and collapsed on the sand next to Ness. He was so cold that his skin was almost blue. This was normal for smashers, so Ness didn't worry. He smirked and held up the flames in his hand to Lucas's face. He waited until the normal color returned to Lucas's skin. Lucas had always been sensitive to the cold.
"Thanks." Lucas said, conjuring up his own PK Fire and warming himself once he had enough strength.
"No problem." Said Ness, blowing out the flames.
Lucas fanned on his fire with his free hand. It grew and Lucas took a little flame from one hand and transferred it to the other. Soon, he stopped shaking.
"You okay?" Ness asked.
Lucas nodded. "Yeah. But for some reason…" he yawned. "I'm really sleepy. I'm going back to the mansion and going to bed.
Lucas stood up, stretched, and trudged in the direction of Smash Mansion. At this, Ness crawled after him and tugged on his arm. "Nooooo! It's only like, 5:30 or something! Can we play some more?"
"Ness, I'm really tired." Lucas shook his arm free. "Don't act like a puppy." His eyelids fluttered and he yawned again. "Night."
"Fine, but I'm coming with you." Ness stood up and followed him. "Why are you so tired anyway?"
Lucas shrugged. "I don't know. But right after you chucked that shell into the ocean, I started feeling really tired. So I thought going in the ocean might help, but it didn't." He yawned again.
Ness pouted. "Please? We can still play for a long time. The next fight I have is 10:30 tomorrow morning, and the next fight you have is 9:30 tomorrow morning! We can stay up super late, cause we can get up late!"
"No." Lucas put on his sandals and wrapped a towel around himself. "I'm sleepy, okay?"
"You stole my taunt."
"I'm going back to the mansion." Said Lucas, ignoring Ness.
"LUCAAAAAAAAS…"
Lucas huffed and kept walking. Ness pouted even more and followed. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?"
Lucas glared at Ness. "I'm tired! Get lost, or just stop!"
Ness was taken aback by this. Lucas rarely lashed out at anyone - well, except for if someone stole his omelettes - and if he did, Ness was never on the receiving end.
"What? Why are you so tired anyway?" Ness asked softly. At this, Lucas broke into a run. Ness dragged his feet, following him dejectedly. Lucas ran out of the beach and disappeared from view onto the street. Ness sighed. Why was he getting hurt over something so stupid?
Come on you dolt! Go after him, what are you gonna do at the beach alone?
No! Too lazy…
Gah, just go back to the mansion. Hang out with Fiona Villager if blondie doesn't wanna.
Puberty talk.
Just go check! If she' s not available, hang out with Mike Villager, Pittoo, Toon, MM (Mega-Man), or Pit.
Puberty talk.
I hate you. I can't believe I'm your conscience.
Hehe. Hate you too!
I'm going to bed. Good luck living without me for the rest of the day!
Is that supposed to be hard?
Shut up, Cappy Boy.
Don't call me that. (And anyway, I'm not even wearing my cap. I'm wearing these stupid swim shorts.)
Hmm… how about Crappy Boy, then?
Shut up!
Good night!
Ness wanted to kill himself.
Okay! No, not like that!
Erm…
Ness wanted to kill his own conscience.
He hated arguing with himself, the winner was himself, and so was the loser. Plus, his own conscience was so annoying.
But, he would listen to it anyway. It did have a point. He should go to the mansion anyway. He could get his friends out of the auditorium (where the Puberty Talk was) and play baseball with them.
Ness started in the direction of the mansion.
Lucas yawned. Why was he so tired anyway? On the way back from the beach, he dried himself off and ran to the front door. He swung it open and yawned again.
He made sure to dodge the R. that were patrolling the hallway. Peach and Mario were having the puberty talk for all the kids in the mansion. He and Ness were the only ones that escaped it. On their way out (when Ness wasn't looking) he had seen his friends with grim faces, walking into the auditorium flanked by 2 R. and a smiling Peach and Mario. He had felt quite sorry for them, but he had to escape. So he had followed Ness out the door (Ness had not seen this, as he had been happily talking Lucas's ear off). Was this the wrong thing to do? He had wondered.
Lucas would've felt guilty as he made his way to he and Ness's room. Except that he was so sleepy, his brain almost refused to function. Let alone process feelings.
Lucas felt a tingling sensation throughout his body as he walked. Huh, that was weird. Maybe the effects of sleepiness? Lucas didn't know.
Lucas took the glass elavator up to the 3rd floor. As he stood in there, yawning and leaning against the glasswalk behind him, he saw his faint reflection in front of him. For some reason, he spotted a dark streak in his hair, and his cowlick was almost nonexistent. He yawned. Probably just his sleepy vision…
The elevator arrived at his floor with a ding. The doors slid open and he stepped out, yawned, and started down the hallway. He wrapped the towel tighter around himself. He would change from his swim shorts into pajamas when he got into his room.
Lucas opened the door and stepped inside his room. Immediately a wave of heat swept over him. Yep, that was comfortable. Lucas liked setting the thermostat high.
Lucas grabbed his pajamas and changed quickly. Ness wasn't here, so he could do as he pleased. Namely, sleep. He collapsed on the bed and within seconds, was snoring.
Ness stood at the front door of the mansion and slowly pushed it open. Seeing that the coast was clear of R. that would drag him off to the auditorium, he darted into the mansion. Ness picked up some clothes from the laundry order and changed quickly in the bathroom. He then made his way to the auditorium in which he could possibly sneak in, tap a friend's shoulder, and drag him out of torture.
Ness stopped in front of the auditorium door. He took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. Closing his eyes, he pushed open the door. Hoping no one noticed him, he opened his eyes. The person sitting nearest to the back of the auditorium happened to be Mega-Man (aka MM). He looked traumatized. Poor guy.
Ness tried to block out his hearing. He had no intention of hearing the talk, it was the last thing he wanted to do.
Unsuccessful. He could hear Peach's voice clearly.
"You take the pad, and with the sticky part, you put it on the inside part of your underwear."
Why did they have to learn about the opposite gender's puberty, too?!
Peach held up her demonstration pads and underwear and stuck the pad on the inside of the underwear like she described. Why were there demonstrations?!
Ness covered one ear and tried to tap MM's shoulder. Except, he couldn't reach! He cursed inwardly. Why?!
"Then you throw out the wrapper, and now you have your period pad on!"
Peach threw out the wrapper and curtsied. "Now I will teach you how to put on a tampon!"
Ew…
"You take the tampon," Peach held up a weird object that Nes supposed was a tampon. "And," she held up a diagram of girl's parts.
Ew! He did not have to see that! He shielded his eyes.
"And stick the tampon into your - "
Ness resisted the urge to scream. He covered his ears frantically, seeing his fellow male friends do the same. Hehe, even Mario (who stood on the stage next to Peach) looked sick. Fiona, who was the only girl, looked like she wanted to barf.
But now that he covered his ears, he could see Peach sticking the tampon into a hole she had made in the diagram, right where the real hole should be.
Eww!
Yuck!
Gross!
Ness closed his eyes, but now he couldn't see MM. What if he tapped a chair or something, and Peach heard/saw him?
"And you take the hard part out, so you have the soft part still in there. Now, the soft part will block your period, and you can swim!"
Ewwwww…
Ness inched into the auditorium and stretched out his arm. He still couldn't reach! Sighing, he stepped entirely into the auditorium and reached out…
Ness's hand never got to its destination.
"Ness!" Peach's shrill voice. "Dearie, come sit down next to Toon Link. We've been looking for you!"
Ness cleared his throat and looked up. One thought raced through his mind: Oh no.
Everyone was staring at him. He gulped, smiled, and…
Ran for his life!
Ness had just made it halfway through the door when his head got assaulted by a turnip. He tripped and fell flat on his face, not appreciating that stupid smiling turnip face that stared at him. He punched it, sending it flying across the hall. A passing R.O.B got a turnip to the…face? (Do robots even have faces? Are you supposed to call their "faces" faces anyway?)
"Ness!" Said Peach, sternly. "Come on and sit next to Female Villager over here. We've been looking everywhere for you and Lucas. Speaking of Lucas, have you seen that boy?" At Ness's (lying) head shake, she sighed. "You two are like peas in a pod, always sticking around together. I was hoping you would know where he went."
Ness ignored this, stood up and tried to run away again. But this time, Peach was prepared and he took two turnips to the head. Groaning and rubbing his head, he gave up. Peach daintily walked down the stairs of the stage and down the walkway. When she reached Ness, she picked him up and practically dragged him to the seat next to Fiona. She plopped him down in the seat and smiled.
"You've come just at the end of the female puberty talk, and now Mario will just begin the male puberty talk. So sit tight and listen!"
Peach went back to the stage and resumed the talk.
"So, we've covered body odor, estrogen, oily hair, acne, growing hair in other places besides your head, hips widening, and the period." Peach said. "So now, Mario will come up to explain how the male body grows up! Sweet!"
Mario came up to the stage and cleared his throat. Everyone in the audience prepared their ears for the onslaught of a Italian accent.
"Hello everyone! It's-a-Mario! Today, I will-a-be talking about how the male body grow-a-up!"
Ness cringed.
"Ness!" Fiona whispered, poking the psychic in the arm. "Did you try come and save us?"
Ness nodded and sighed. "But I got caught."
They were forced to listen to Mario talk about more body odor, more acne, more hair, voice cracks, and odd… sexual urges that boys went through.
By the end of the talk, Ness wanted to faint. Lucky Lucas. He didn't have to listen to this. Lucas was probably dozing off in their room in his pajamas, all warm, cozy and free of Italian accents…
Ah, that was paradise Lucas was in!
Finally, the talk was over and the children were free. Even Pit, in his mature state, gagged once. But he quickly regained formality and greeted Ness.
"Hello Ness." Pit said. "How do you do?"
"I'm fine, thanks." Ness replied.
"I must attend to Lady Palutena." Pit said. "Expect to see me at dinner."
Pit beat his angel wings and took off, ducking under the door and swooping out of the auditorium. Ness sighed. Why was this guy such a kisser-upper? Just because Palutena was a goddess, it didn't mean that she needed Pit there every single minute to attend to her.
Fiona and Mike skipped off together, complaining about the grossness of the puberty talk. Toon and MM met up with Ness at the doorway.
"That was so… yuck!" Toon said. "That diagram has dirtied my mind, leaving a permanent stain!"
MM, despite being expressionless for the most part was thoroughly grossed out as well. "Totally agreed, Toon Link."
"Call me Toon, for the last time."
"Okay, Toon."
Ness chuckled. "Anyway, yeah. That talk has left a permanent scar on my once clean mind."
Toon snorted. "Like your mind was ever clean!"
"Shut up."
Pittoo flew in front of the trio, blocking their path. "Can I join you guys?"
Ness nodded. "Sure."
"Yeah, the talk was the most disgusting thing ever!" Toon said. "Especially the part when Peach showed us how to put on pads and tampons."
"May we not talk about the puberty talk anymore?" MM asked shyly.
"Yes, please!" Pittoo agreed. "How about let's…"
"Go eat dinner!" Ness suggested. "It's already 6:45." He said, looking at the clock. "Dinner starts at 7:00, anyway."
"Sure." Said MM.
"But we have to wake up Lucas." Ness said. "He's most likely sleeping, and he shouldn't miss dinner!"
"Nah," said Pittoo. "I don't think he'd appreciate that. No one would, well, except Kirby, who'd almost never miss dinner."
Everyone had to agree with that.
"But why" MM began. "is Lucas asleep anyway?"
"When we were outside, Lucas started complaining that he was really sleepy." Ness explained to his friends.
"Every smasher living here has rarely ever been sleepy." Toon pointed out. "I wonder what his case is."
Pittoo shrugged. "That guy is pretty unpredictable. One moment, happy as a clam, the next, bawling his eyes out. Kinda hard to deal with sometimes."
Ness couldn't help but defend his best friend. "I think he's perfectly fine to deal with!"
"I don't think that's what he meant." Said MM.
"I guess…" Ness frowned. "Well, what are we doing? Let's go eat dinner."
The four smashers went to the dining hall to get their meals. They were early for dinner, so it was almost empty. The only smashers that were occupying the seats were Kirby, Dedede, Bowser, Cloud and Shulk.
"Poyo!" Kirby said, waving.
"Hey Ki - "
Oh, sorry. Forgot to translate.
"Hey guys!" Kirby said, waving.
"Hey Kirby." Said Toon.
Ness patted the puffball on the head. "Hi Kirby," Ness and Kirby had become friends recently, as a replacement for Lucas. His other friends had their own places in his heart, but Kirby half filled the empty spot meant for Lucas. Ness picked up the pink ball and put Kirby atop his head.
"Poyo! Poyo, poyo, poyo!"
Translation: "Usually you guys aren't early for dinner like this. What's the sudden hussle?"
"We were horrified, bored, and traumatized after the puberty talk. And we had nothing better to do." Said MM.
Kirby shuddered. More poyos. Ness translated immediately ("Ew, I bet it was super disgusting. Luckily, you missed it in N64 and Melee, Ness!")
That was true, Ness had missed it in N64 and Melee. But in Brawl, he had heard it for the first time. Guy puberty wasn't as disgusting as girl puberty. In Brawl, there had been no girl kids, so the kid smashers didn't have to listen to what happened during girl puberty. But in Sm4sh, there was the first girl kid smasher. So, the boys found themselves hearing the details of how the female body grows up.
The puffball bounced up and down on Ness's head. Although he was light, it sort of gave Ness a headache. And Ness's cap was flopping up and down over his vision, so he grabbed the pink puffball and set him on the table instead.
("I'm hungry.") said Kirby and he jumped off the eating table and flew over to the serving table. (Is it time for dinner yet…?")
Everyone was sad to see him go.
Pittoo sighed. "Why are pink puffballs so freaking adorable?" Then he moped off, getting back into a depressed mood.
This left the original trio, standing in the middle of the lunchroom. The rest of the 58 smashers started pouring in, the the dining hall erupted in instinct chatter. Then, the ruckus that was called dinner began.
Ness cleared his throat. "Well, I guess we'll eat then."
Lucas was peacefully dozing off, until there was a loud banging on the door. He woke with a start, immediately feeling cranky. Who had the nerve to disturb him while he was slumbering?
"Go away, whoever you are!" He groaned sleepily. "I'm trying to sleep!"
The knocking persisted. "Pikaaaa! Pika pika piiika pik. Pik-pik piika! Pika!"
Translation: "Lucaaaas, it's time for dinner. Master Hand sent me to get you. Hurry up!"
"Pikachu…" Lucas moaned, flipping over on his side. "Do you not see the do not disturb sign on the door?"
("There is no do not disturb sign.") said Pikachu irritably as he opened the door. Lucas didn't know how he did it, the doorknob was way out of his reach, but he pulled it off mouse stood in the doorway and pleaded. ("I'm hungry, so hurry up. You are delaying dinner for me, and a mouse needs foooooood!")
"Good night." Said Lucas, throwing the covers over his head. "See you in the morning!"
The mouse huffed. Then he put on his cutest face. ("But I'm cuuuuuuute!") He did his absolutely adorable taunt. ("Everyone likes cuuute!")
"Not Wario."
("You don't look like Wario!") said the mouse, pouting and dropping the cute face attempt.
"I'll just miss dinner." Said Lucas.
("But you caaaan't!") whined Pikachu. ("Well, usually you can, but there was the puberty talk today, and all the kid smashers need to be in the cafeteria to get their products for puberty!")
"Shut up."
("What are you gonna do without deodorant and other manly man stuff?")
"I couldn't care less."
("Oh, you're gonna stink so bad - ")
"GET OUT!"
Lucas threw off the covers, jumped out of his bed, and charged straight at the mouse, barreling his head into him. Pikachu attempted to duck. This attempt was unsuccessful, as Lucas grabbed him and threw him out into the hallway. A few squeals and whines were heard from the mouse until Lucas slapped the Do Not Disturb sign on the door, slammed it shut, and locked it tight.
("Well that was rude!") remarked the mouse. Lucas slammed his fist into the door (causing his knuckles to crack loudly), and Pikachu, frightened, scampered off. Lucas heard a few cross mutters, and he knew he was going to get in trouble for missing an 'important' dinner. Pikachu was not a tattletale, but he did have friends (Kirby, Jigglypuff, etc.), and with friends, word spreads quickly. And it would eventually get to Master Hand's own… ears?
Lucas didn't care about getting in trouble. He just wanted to sleeeeep. He didn't care if he got dessert taken away for two months. He was just sleepy…
…
…
…
"Zzz… zzz… zzz…"
Ness was lucky enough to get 35th place in line. Most kids like him were shoved to the back immediately by the bigger (and mostly antagonist) smashers. But today was steak for dinner. He wasn't giving up his chance to get a big, juicy, delicious piece of steak, even if some stupid Wario farted in his face. He could see it, sitting there on a nice big platter, just waiting to be eaten…
Food ran out fast when you were one of 58 smashers. Now it was even worse since 7 of them had shown up a few weeks ago. Including Lucas. Well, before that, it was still horrible.
Pittoo had managed to get two spots in front of Ness. Falco stood between them, still looking depressed at the lack of performance quality he'd shown lately. In Brawl, he'd been high tier. Poor guy. Now even Ness was higher on the freaking tier list.
Ness entertained himself in line by seeing what place in the tier lot he would be, if Sm4sh were Brawl again. Probably much higher.
Yep. Guessed right. He was now 19th out of the 38th Brawl characters. Aww, if only those new characters could just scram!
Wait, why was he thinking that?!
Ness should've be grateful for the new characters. The 2 Villagers, MM, Pittoo… why was he suddenly wishing they were gone?
Ness sighed and looked over to see who was at the end of the line. Mike Villager. Fiona was right in front of him. Duck Hunt was third to last. Huh, that was no surprise. Some of the smallest smashers. Course they were going to be shoved to the back.
Ness was now 15th in line. Gah, the steak was almost gone! He knew it would be replaced when it was all eaten up, but for some reason, it got him pissed. He wanted that steak, and now!
Deep breaths. Said his conscience.
Shut up.
Ness tried to remember how Fiona and Mike got their nicknames (in a way to entertain himself).
The two villagers had arrived on the first day, along with 51 smashers. They were technically the same person, but there were two of them. A boy and a girl.
Ness had bumped into them the opening ceremony. He had asked, "What's your name?"
The boy had looked at him blankly. "Name?" He had said slowly. "I don't… have one."
"..."
"..."
"Okay then…"
"..."
Ness turned to the girl. "What's your name?"
The girl had looked at him blankly, the same way as the boy did. "Name? I don't have one."
"..."
"..."
"Um.."
"..."
"What do I call you, then?" Ness had asked, confused.
"I don't know." The girl had shrugged.
Ness had frowned. "Since you're female, I'll call you something that starts with F. How about…" he had thought for a moment. "Fiona?"
"Okay." Said the girl. "I like that!"
"Since your brother is make, I'll call him something that starts with M. How about…" he had searched his brain for names again. "Mike, short for Michael?"
"That sounds nice, but I'll ask him anyway." Said the girl. She had skipped away to the boy. They came back to him, smiling.
"I like that." Said the boy. "Whatever works!"
…
"Ness!"
Ness was snapped back to reality by the sound of Peach's voice. "Gahwah?"
"Get your dinner!" said the princess, rolling her eyes.
You dork, why were you thinking of how your friends got their nicknames? That's so dumb…
Next time you pipe up, I'm gonna punch you.
You can't.
Oh yeah.
Idiot.
You take that back!
Hehe.
SHUP UP!
Woah, sheesh, Temper, temper!
Sigh* Please, just like, SHUT THAT BIG MOUTH OF YOURS…!
"NESS!"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry!" Said Ness, blushing. He picked up his tray and helped himself to Mac&cheese, broccoli, an apple (smashers were required to have at l vegetable and 1 fruit during meals), French fries, pizza, tomato soup, and finally, a huge hunk of steak. Zelda looked at him with disdain, as he had took the last piece of steak. She sighed and strode over to the Waiting for Replacement line, as did about everyone else in the line. Ness grinned sheepishly and ran back to a faraway table to avoid the all the smashers glares.
Just as he was about to sit down at an empty table, Pittoo stood up and waved from his own table. "Ness! Over here!" Hearing this, Ness gladly moved himself next to Pittoo, relieved of the angry stares from the smashers in line.
Pittoo smiled and beckoned Ness a bit closer. "Did you hear that Roy kissed Zelda last night?" He said, under his breath. "Link still hasn't found out!" At Ness's raised eyebrows, he nodded and took a bite of his apple.
"Nope, never heard." Ness said. Both Pit and his clone had this knack for being where they weren't supposed, and therefore, finding out lots of… juicy gossip.
"I happened to be walking by, when Roy and Zelda were in the Men's Bathroom at midnight!" Already illegal. Thought Ness. Well, not like no one does it. Everyone has, at least once a week. Pittoo continued excitedly. "A-and they started frenching out, right there on the spot. They didn't even see me!"
MM slid onto the bench next to the two, apparently catching a few words of what Pitoo said. "Fill me in, please." He said, slicing a small piece of steak and putting it into his mouth.
"I caught Roy and Zelda frenching!" Exclaimed Pittoo, loud enough for the entire dining hall to hear. There was a long silence as everyone stopped talking and stared in their direction. Ness braced himself for more ruckus as Link's scowling face turned their way.
"Say what?!" Said a very angry Link.
Pittoo, finally realizing the mistake he had made, shrunk back. Ness and MM exchanged worried glances. Pittoo gulped. "Um, nothing!"
"Don't play dumb with me!" Roared Link, standing up and marching over to their table. "What did you say?" He snarled and he drew his sword.
Pittoo's voice was very small. "Roy and Zelda…" he faltered, seeing the intruiged stares from the other smashers. Everyone around here was so hungry for gossip, Ness was revolted. "Roy and Zelda were…" he took a deep breath and spat out the words as if he were relieved to get rid of them. "Frenching out in the Men's Bathroom."
Link narrowed his eyes. "Your fibbing, aren't you? Zelda would never do that!"
"Uh," Pittoo looked confused. "Well then, why are they both missing dinner?"
Link looked through the dining hall, scowling, until he realized, Pittoo's statement was… true. His scowl grew even larger and his face grew even redder. He stormed out of the lunchroom. Ness cringed. Oh gosh, Roy and (maybe) Zelda were gonna get it, for sure.
Five minutes later, Link returned to the dining hall with a very guilty Zelda in tow. As for Roy, he was slung over Link's shoulder like a screaming sack of potatoes. Ness felt a little sorry for the guy, but he did french Zelda, and that was just asking for trouble. The only person who frenched Zelda was Link, according to, well, Link.
Talk about unelected people enforcing their own laws.
"You - " Link yelled so many profanities that about % of the smashers cringed at. The only person who didn't cringe was Captain Falcon, who just shouted: "Ya man! That's what I'm talking about!"
"Link," Cried Zelda, her face flushed. "Language!"
Link dropped Roy on Wii Fit Trainer's food. She scowled and pummeled him so much that he couldn't even "Stretch those muscles!" even if he wanted to. Poor guy. Beaten up (unscheduled) by two people.
Link clenched his teeth and glared at Zelda, who timidly waved. He scowled. "You've cheating on me, and all you can say is" he batted his eyelashes and mocked Zelda in a high-pitched voice. "Link, language!" He glowered at her, causing her eyes to water. "I saved you from Ganondorf so many times, and this is how you repay me?!"
"Link, it was only twice!" She cooed. "During this very dinner, and last night. I swear we didn't have any strong feelings for each other, did we, Roy?"
All eyes went to Roy, who was laying on the floor, unconscious do to Wii Fit Trainer's punching. He just moaned a little, and Zelda took this as a no. She smiled charmingly. "See, Link? We just did it out of… curiosity."
"Yeah," Link's scowl turned into a relieved smile. He took Zelda's hand. "Come on, Babe. Let's go."
Huh, Link must've been in denial. Pretty much everyone who was old enough had "strong feelings" for Zelda. Since there was a very intense lack of women in the mansion, all the single guys were really targeting Samus, Palutena, Wii Fit Trainer, Bayonetta, Rosalina, Lucina, Corrin, Robin, and other single women. For the younger boys, Fiona. Pokémon and animals also sort of had the hots for Jigglypuff.
About every smasher in the dining room watched the couple leave with interest. Ness spotted Little Mac and Green Ninja sneaking out to follow them. Ness sighed, knowing there would be some gossip going around tomorrow.
Pittoo sheepishly smiled at a now awake Roy, who was glaring in his direction. Couldn't blame him. Pittoo had just ruined his chances with Zelda. Roy drew his sword and advanced on him. The two (immature) boys ran off, playing a more brutal version of… tag. Where the tagger tries to murder the runner.
By now, everyone was finished getting lunch. Ness and MM were joined by a confused Toon Link, a baffled Mike, and a blushing Fiona, who knew that what she had just seen was going to happen to her someday.
Pit sauntered up to their table, looking smug. Palutena followed, smiling charmingly. Ness groaned. What were they here for? He stuffed a piece of broccoli in his mouth and ate some Mac&cheese, trying to signal to them that they were busy.
The two reached their table. Palutena bid them all hello, and when they did nothing in response, Pit cleared his throat. The friends groaned inwardly and said the formal version of hello:
"Good day, Lady Palutena. It is a great honor to have you here, thank you."
Ness hated that, but Pit always insisted, whenever they met in the Common Room, that they greet Palutena in this way. Sheesh, just because she was a goddess doesn't mean that everyone must hail her.
Palutena smiled and flipped her bright green hair. "Thank you."
Ness rolled his eyes.
Pit folded his wings and cleared his throat. Ugh, what garbage did he have to say? "Ahem. I would like to inform you that spying on others while they are… exchanging love is very intrusive. Especially if it would cause drama li - "
Ness snorted. "We didn't even spy, and it's not like you don't!"
Ness didn't care that Palutena was watching. Or that Pit's face was red with fury. He just crossed his arms.
"N-Ne- H-Ho- D-!" The angel sputtered. This guy had temper issues.
Palutena chuckled. "He does have a point," she twirled on her toes and spun around on her staff. If Ness didn't know any better, he would've thought she was flirting. "Come on Pit, let's go."
Pit glowered at Ness. "Yes, Lady Palutena."
The two angels turned and walked away. Palutena briskly and happily, while Pit heavily and angrily. Ness rolled his eyes. Pit was such a kisser-upper. Ness sighed and finished the last of his steak, starting on the pizza. Within seconds, it was devoured.
"He's so annoying." Said Mike, frowning. "He's always like, 'oh Lady Palutena' this, and 'oh Lady Palutena' that."
"I know, right?" Fiona twirled her hair around her finger. "He's so booooring and matuuuure. Way too boooooring and matuuuure."
Toon sighed. "He's the only one who kisses us to Palutena, and he expects everyone else to do so, too."
It was about 8:00 now, and since Ness had nothing to do, he decided to hit the hay early. "Night guys, I'm gonna go to bed."
MM gawked. "Why? It's only like, 8:00."
Ness shrugged. "Night." He finished the last of his meal and returned his tray. He then started out the door, down the hallway and into the elevator.
As he rode the glass box up to the third floor, he caught sight of his peculiar reflection. His eyes… were much brighter. Instead of being deep violet like usual, they were a bright blue. Ness shook his head and closed his eyes. He was probably just… seeing things.
Strange, huh?
Piss off, will ya?
Scoff* I'm offended.
I hate you, so shut your trap.
Rude!
Rude yourself!
You know what? I'm just gonna stop talking.
Thank goodness!
…
…
Well, now that his ever so annoying conscience had shut up, Ness was free to think without that stupid voice interrupting his thoughts. He studied his new reflection once more, examining what the hell was wrong with his eyes.
The elevator doors opened and Ness stepped out. He wasn't sleepy at all, but he was boooooored. So sleeping was the thing he was gonna do. Ness went down the hall and opened the door to his room, frowning at the do not disturb sign plastered on it.
Lucas was sound asleep, snoring away, all wrapped up in a bundle of blankets. Ness envied his peacefulness and his tampon free mind. Ah, the good old days, before the puberty talk. He thought wistfully. If only we stayed outside…
They would've stayed at the beach, but Lucas decided that he was sleepy. Ness sighed and headed to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, took a shower, and changed into a fresh pair of pajamas.
Ness wasn't sleepy at all, so he got some sleeping pills from the closet and took a tablet with some water. Immediately, he began to feel drowsy.
After a few minutes, Ness fell into a deep slumber.
Ness woke to the distant sound of birds chirping. He checked the bed next to him, surprised to see Lucas still asleep. Well that was rare. His blonde friend always woke up early, much earlier than he did.
Yawning and stretching, he checked the clock. He was even more surprised to see that it was still 7:30. He never woke up this early. This was the time when Lucas usually woke up. Ness woke up at 9:00, usually!
Ness sat on his bed, waiting for Lucas to wake up. He was sure that his friend would stir, sit up, greet Ness, and they would get up with each other. But, the blonde didn't. Ness couldn't even see Lucas, due to his friend being wrapped up in blankets. Shaking his head, Ness slid out of bed, shivering at the lack of something warm. He stood next to Lucas's bed, smiling mischievously. Slowly, he reached out his hand and poked Lucas, but he didn't stir. Sighing, he decided that he might as well get up without his fellow psychic.
Still baffled at his sudden early rising, he chuckled and said to himself:
"Huh, last time I woke up his early, it was in Brawl!"
He suddenly gasped, clutching his throat.
That wasn't his voice!
So… why did it come from his lips?
Author's Notes
Thanks for reading, Chapter 2 coming out soon. Sorry this chapter was boring.
Also, special thanks to my sister for just... being there and helping me write (sort of). See, as I'm writing this Author's Notes, she is right next to me! Say hi, sister!
