The last time the Fellowship (and company) went to Disney World, it was rather chaotic. That was only the beginning.
"How about just burn them and say we lost?" Aragorn pleaded. "You know we can't do that!" Arwen argued, "Eldarion wanted to win that contest so badly! How could dream of dashing his hopes?" Aragorn sighed. Eldarion, his son, had entered a contest to win 10 (yes, 10) tickets to Disney World for two days. It wasn't the entering that bothered Aragorn, it was the winning.
"Arwen, I can't survive two more days at Disney World!" Aragorn said, sheer-terror in his eyes. "Aragorn, sweetie, we don't have to take Gandalf if you can't handle it," Arwen smiled. "What? Oh, well, that would help a little," Aragorn decided. "But still! Two days and night with 9 crazy nutballs?!" "Aragorn! Watch what you say!" Arwen shouted, "Besides, it's only 8. You counted me." Aragorn rolled his eyes.
Soon Eldarion entered the room sniffing and coughing. "Mommy, I don't feel good," he said miserably. "Oh, Eldarion, honey!" Arwen said, stooping down to feel her son's forehead for a fever. "You're burning up! Come on, let's put you in bed. I'll get you some soup and medicine."
"You mean that purple stuff?!" Eldarion shrieked. "Yes, the purple medicine that will make you all better so you can go to Disney World!" Arwen grinned. "You mean I won?!" Eldarion asked in amazement. "Yes, you did win. And that means you need to get all better in three days!" Arwen laughed. Aragorn groaned.
"Alright!" Eldarion exclaimed, "Bring on the purple poison! I'll go to bed all day, if I have to! Where's my teddy bear?"
Three days later, Aragorn had decided who he would risk taking.
Himself
Arwen
Eldarion
Frodo
Sam
Merry
Pippin
Legolas
Boromir
Faramir
Gandalf, luckily, couldn't even come, because he apparently had to attend a Wizard's Conference the same two days. The only problem was Eldarion was even sicker than he had been before.
"Aragorn! You can't just leave the others hanging!" Arwen insisted. "Besides! Those tickets are worth a lot of money!"
No matter how much Aragorn begged, bribed, and even cried, Arwen didn't back down. "You'll just have to find two others to come," she said.
Once Arwen's mind was set on something, there was no changing it. Thus, Aragorn took a deep breath, and called Eomer and Eowyn.
"Alright!" Aragorn shouted over the nine shouting Humans, Hobbits, and Elf, "We are not leaving this parking lot until I've taken roll, and handed out snacks." It wasn't like Aragorn to be so organized, but since he was alone in this, he figured he should actually do something Arwen did when things got chaotic.
"First off," he continued, "When I call your name I want you to answer "here"." He glanced up briefly, then looked back down at his clipboard.
"Boromir?"
"Sir yes sir!"
"Eomer?"
"President!"
"Eowyn?"
"Here!"
"Faramir?"
"Present!"
"Frodo?"
"I'm here!"
"Legolas?"
"Dangweth!"
"Merry?"
"Aye!"
"Pippin?"
"What?"
"Sam?"
"Present!"
"Good," Aragorn sighed, "Now that that's done, when I call your name, come get your snack, and get into the RV… again… Your snacks are grape flavored waters and slim jims. It's a 6 hour drive to Disney World, and I'm not planning on making any more than three stops!"
Two minutes passed. "I'm hungry!" Pippin whined, "I ate all my food!" "Well, now you know not to eat so fast," Aragorn answered from the driver's seat as coolly as possible. "But-" Pippin was stopped with a loud, angry sush.
An hour later, Legolas was happily beating the 32nd level on his favorite game on his PSP. His eyes were set on the little man running around the screen, and he had a look of complete domination. So did Boromir. Silently sneaking up on the Elf, Boromir lunged at him and snatched the PSP. "Level 32, eh?" he grinned, holding the PSP above his head. "Hey!" Legolas screamed, "Give it back!"
"You can have it, if you get it from me," Boromir said evilly.
"Aragooooooooorn!!!" Legolas whined, "Boromir won't give me back my PSP!"
Aragorn gritted his teeth and ignored the Elf.
Before Boromir knew what was happening, Pippin was flying through the air, straight at Boromir. He snatched the PSP as he passed by, then landed on both feet and one hand in a crouching position. Everyone gaped at Pippin's feat. "What do you think you are some kind of action hero?" Boromir smirked, trying to draw attention away from Pippin. "In a way," Pippin said, stepping out of his Took-ish ways for only a moment. After handing the PSP back to the very grateful Legolas, Pippin went back to his normal self; burying his head in the couch to look for food and quarters.
Three hours. Everybody was bored out of their brain. Including Aragorn. "Rest stop!" he shouted at last, pulling into a truck stop.
They all filed out, and soon everyone was running in every direction. "I wish Arwen was here…" Aragorn mumbled.
After around thirty whole minutes of doing basically everything disastrous possible, they all returned to the RV. After another roll call, the ten were all aloud back inside. This included Sam carrying a brochure from every single attraction in Florida. "Ah… Sam?" Aragorn said, "We're only going to Disney World." "I know, Mr. Strider," Sam said, "but since we didn't have paper or blankets, we're using these to make a tent."
Aragorn looked bewildered, but he decided to let it go.
"Aragorn, I'm filing a complaint!" Eowyn raged. Aragorn leaned back in fear in his seat, gripping the steering wheel for dear life. When Eowyn was mad, boy was she mad. "I didn't agree to come on this trip to a) be over twenty minutes off schedule, b) not know what resort we're staying at, and c) not know where the heck we're going once we get there!!!"
"Oh, yeah…" Aragorn said, remembering something rather important, "I did forget to say where we were going, didn't I? Heh heh…"
All ears and eyes were set on Aragorn.
"Well, since Arwen planned all of this, let me tell you I had nothing to do with picking the places, including resort, we're going to," Aragorn said, "But, according to Arwen, we're staying at The Caribbean Beach Resort, and we're visiting Animal Kingdom and Epcot." Moans were heard from the younger members of the group (and immature. Oh wait, that's all of them.). Eowyn squealed with delight. "Caribbean!" she gushed, "Oh! There must be beaches, and coconuts, and flowers…" her voice trailed off to the back of the RV.
The Hobbits were now watching a DVD in Frodo's new DVD player. "Hobbits, I need you to clean up a little!" Aragorn called from the front. "Aaaw, come one!" Pippin whined, "Spider Man's about to fight these two guys!" "Hey, aren't we going to Disney World?" Eomer asked the Hobbit, "Why aren't you watching a Disney movie?"
"That's actually a good idea," Merry said, pushing the 'eject' button, and putting in "Pirates of the Caribbean".
"Ugh! I hate that movie!" Legolas whined, "Turn it down!"
"You only hate it 'cause that one guy looks like you," Merry snapped.
"He posed off of me, obviously," Legolas shouted, "Only he's got a stupid mustache and reminds me of Aragorn!" "What's that supposed to mean?!" Aragorn demanded, swerving the RV a little.
"It means you're a dirty, scruffy, smelly ranger!" Legolas yelled back. "I'd watch what I said, if I were you," Aragorn growled, "It wouldn't take much effort for me to pull the RV over and throw you out!"
"Why not skip the pulling over?" Boromir asked, sending everyone else into fits of laughter. Legolas turned bright red with rage.
Soon Boromir had Legolas in a headlock and Eowyn was stealing Eomer's pillow, resulting in Eomer and Eowyn starting a very immature pillow fight, which the Hobbits soon joined in.
Aragorn swerved the RV to the side of the road, sending everyone tumbling to the right side of the vehicle, and landing in a pile. "EVERYONE STOP!!!!!!!!" Aragorn screamed. Of course, everyone did. "We'll never make it to the stupid resort if you guys don't stop fighting!" he continued, "Now this is a warning: This was all Arwen's idea, and if you guys can't cooperate, I'm turning this RV around and we're going back home."
Everyone hung their heads. Faramir spit feathers out of his mouth.
"Does this mean we can't watch our movie?" Frodo asked as innocently as possible.
Aragorn sighed, "You can only watch it if Legolas promises not to complain." Legolas nodded. "Good," Aragorn said, then returned to his normal driving routine.
Once Aragorn had his head turned, Legolas whacked Merry with a pillow, sending Merry flying across the RV. "Legolas!" Aragorn shouted, "I saw that! Go to the back of the RV, and stay there for an hour!"
"No!" Legolas said. "Don't make me come back there!" Aragorn threatened. Legolas shrunk back and retreated to the back of the RV, where he hid under a box that used to contain packs of chips for not 1, but 2 hours.
"I can see the entrance!" Pippin shouted, shoving his way to the front of the RV. "It's Mickey!" Pippin pointed to the giant Mickey at the entrance.
Aragorn drove the RV through the entrance. "Eomer, erm… no, Boromir. I need you in the front seat!" he said.
Boromir hopped into the front seat. "Here, find our resort," Aragorn ordered, handing Boromir a map.
After struggling with the giant piece of paper for a while, Boromir finally managed to point out the resort. Well, he thought it was the resort. Actually, it was a different resort, and it happened to be in the complete opposite direction.
"Boromir!" Aragorn was pretty mad, "You are very lucky we're not on a tight schedule!"
The entire ride through the Disney territory, the Hobbits were glued to the windows. "Ooh!" Pippin squealed, "Look! Look! That fire station is painted all silly!" Frodo and Sam, who had been on the opposite side, rushed to the other side and plastered themselves next to Merry and Pippin.
Once they finally reached the Caribbean Resort, everybody grabbed their suitcases and ran to their assigned rooms.
Aragorn & Eomer
All of the Hobbits
Eowyn & Faramir
Legolas and Boromir
"I can't stay in a room with this filthy human!" Legolas raged. "I demand my own room!"
"It's a little late now," Boromir said, "And it's not like I wanted to share a room with you!"
"Shut up, you two!" Aragorn shouted, "Or I'll kick you back to Mirkwood!"
Boromir
slammed the door and Legolas threw his suitcase onto the bed on the
left. He rummaged through it until he found his bathing suit.
After changing, everyone but Aragorn was running toward the pool.
"Oh no you don't!" Aragorn called to them from his room,
"You're not going swimming! Not after what happened last time!"
"We promise we'll be good," Frodo said, putting on his innocent face. The other three joined him.
Aragorn fought himself. He was desperate not to fall for it. But then his eyes landed on Frodo's missing finger. That did him in. "Oh, alright," he mumbled, "But stay out of trouble." And with that he closed his door a little louder than necessary.
The nine all jumped into the pool at the exact same time. Well, eight. Eowyn refused to join. Instead she made her way to the hot tub.
The Hobbits were making their way to the slide. Frodo just happened to look back, and noticed there were quite a few girls behind them, all around the ages of twelve to twenty. He pushed the thought aside and continued to follow his fellow Hobbits. But once they reached the slide, he decided to look back once more. Now there were probably twenty girls behind them. He grabbed Merry's arm and walked extra fast. "Merry," he whimpered a bit, "Don't look now, but I think we're about to be attacked." "What?!" Merry questioned in shock. Immediately he made the mistake of looking, and making eye contact. The girls were instantly sent into a state that appeared as if someone had pushed a little "ON" button on them. They raced toward Frodo, Merry, and Pippin, and might as well have had hearts in their eyes. "RUN!!!" Merry cried. Pippin, still not sure what was going on, stopped in his tracks and turned around. "EEEK!" he shrieked, and took off after Frodo and Merry. Sam just stood there, still waiting in line for the slide. Finally he made up his mind to follow his master, and took off after the fangirls.
As the Hobbits ran for their rooms, they noticed that Legolas, Boromir, Faramir, and Eomer were having the same problem. But mostly Legolas. As they all raced to their rooms, they heard those horrifying screams of "Leggy! Marry me!!!" "I love you, Frodo!!!" and "Merry, size doesn't have to matter!!!" Yes, it was certainly nightmarish.
Once they reached the rooms, they dead bolted their doors and collapsed into bed. Luckily they had enough food to last the night.
6:00 a.m. The Hobbits were all jumping on the beds. Aragorn was grumbling under the sheets at Eomer for blasting his music so loud as he got ready. Eowyn was refusing to let Faramir use the mirror as she applied makeup. Legolas was whining about how Boromir had thrown his clothes all over the room.
After two hours of getting ready (and Eomer literally dragging Aragorn out of bed), the ten all headed for the bus stop. "You know about the route, right Legolas?" Aragorn asked the Elf. Legolas flashed a ridiculous smile, that blinded everyone in front of him. "Of course, silly!" he laughed. Aragorn just rolled his eyes.
The bus going to Animal kingdom soon arrived, and everyone filed in. Much to Legolas' horror, there was a girl with a T-shirt with of picture of himself on it in the bus! Legolas gasped and hid behind Sam as well as he could. The girl's eyes grew huge, but her parents held her back for the entire trip.
At the entrance, everyone waited impatiently for Aragorn to wait in a thirty minute line to get tickets. However, Pippin just happened to notice something you won't see every day. "Hey!" he said, "There's a moving, talking tree over there!" Sure enough, over to everyone's left there was a small little potted plant on wheels, talking in a squeaky voice. All nine ran over to it and began pelting it with questions. "What's your name?" "Are you real?" "How often do you get watered?" Obviously the tree didn't want any more visitors, because it began rolling very fast in the opposite direction of the bunch. "Hey! Come back!" Eomer shouted after it. "Follow that tree!" Of course, they all did. They followed it all the way to a door, which opened. The tree went rolling in at a speed of 60 mph. and the door slammed shut. Disappointed, all nine walked back over to the ticket line, where Aragorn was waiting for them already. "Are you all desperate to get me into trouble with the police?" he demanded. "It was talking!" Pippin exclaimed. "Haven't you seen a talking tree before?" Aragorn asked.
"Not like that one!" Merry defended. Aragorn gave up, and led the rest to the gate. Thus they never found out about the guy who was behind a microphone and a joystick attached to the tree.
"Alright," Aragorn began, being completely ignored, "This time we all stick together. No splitting up. We all go to the same attractions, whether you like them or not." That got the others' attention. "Now, the closest thing to us is The Oasis, according to my map, so we're going straight ahead."
Everyone, even though annoyed with Aragorn's strictness, got their cameras ready. As they walked through the shaded area, they noticed animals along the way. "What's that ugly thing?" Faramir asked, pointing to an anteater. "It looks like a… a…" Eowyn tried to seem smart, "I'm not really sure." They passed it, everyone snapping digital pictures of the "thing" as they passed.
"Right or left, Aragorn?" Boromir asked. "Ah, right," Aragorn decided, looking at his map.
The group passed under a giant model of a dinosaur skeleton, setting the stage for DinoLand U.S.A. "I heard DINOSAUR is really fun," Eowyn said. "Then that's where we'll head," Aragorn decided. The Hobbits, much against Aragorn's will, raced toward the line in front of DINOSAUR. "Come on, turtles!" Pippin shouted at the lagging six, "Get over here while the line's short!" Even though Aragorn protested, everyone took after the Hobbits. Soon Aragorn joined them, even though he didn't want to.
They all buckled up in their funny little cars that looked like they were from Jurassic Park, and it soon jerked to a start. "I think my neck is broken," Eomer complained. Eowyn hit him.
They passed through a bunch of dinosaurs, weaving through the track. The only thrill they got was when Frodo nearly flipped out of the vehicle during a really large jerk. Finally they reached the near-end, where a giant dinosaur came right in front of them and roared at its loudest. This, of course, sent the Hobbits (and assorted others) into fits of screaming.
"Well, that was a waste of time," Boromir said, once off of the ride. Frodo was still shaking from nearly falling out.
"Where are you going?!" Aragorn shouted after the others, who were racing over a bridge. "Asia!" Legolas answered, skipping along with everyone else.
In Asia, everyone immediately raced for the entrance to 'Expedition Everest'. In the train, Aragorn was stuck with Legolas. "Oh great," Aragorn mumbled. "Great is right!" Legolas chirped, "I've been waiting for this for a long time!"
The ride jerked to a start, and was soon rounding the base of the mountain. It climbed up, and everyone put their hands up. Well, everyone but Eomer. He was a nervous wreck as he searched his surrounding for low cave entrances that might injure him.
Soon the ride dropped for a while, until it came to a halt in front of what appeared to be broken track. "Umm… now what?" Boromir asked no one particular. At that instant, the train began to drop again, this time backwards, and through complete darkness. Legolas clung to Aragorn in fear, screaming his lungs out. "Get off of me!" Aragorn thundered. Legolas did his best to release his grip.
Once again, the train came to a stop, this time in a cave with a screen in front of them, showing the silhouette of a huge creature tearing apart the tracks. Pippin screamed along with Legolas, both thinking it was real. "Shut up!" Merry insisted.
The train dropped again, this time winding around outside, going frontwards. Much to Eomer's fear, they entered a cave. He jerked his hands down as fast as lightening.
Everyone could see an animatronic Yeti in the cave, arm extended toward the train. It's hand came within two inches of the people riding in the right side. As they passed under it, Pippin reached up and grabbed its arm. Pulling away from it, he squealed with excitement and held up a fistful of fur. He continued to lift up the fur as if it were a prize, and scream his lungs out.
The ride came to a halt, and everyone filed out. "That was fun!" the Hobbits exclaimed. "That was radical!" Boromir shouted. "That was horrifying!" Eomer said in a small voice. "Aw, come on, Eomer," Faramir said, "You knew you'd have to face your fear someday!"
Aragorn refused to buy the picture because it showed Legolas clinging to him. Legolas refused to believe he did that.
They all browsed the gift shop, and the Hobbits seemed interested in little laminated passports, personalized with names. They frantically searched for their names. "I don't see mine anywhere," Merry said. "Me either," Frodo added. "Fuuuurrrr…" Pippin said, cuddling his prize. "They have mine," Sam beamed, holding up the card. Frodo and Merry rolled their eyes as Sam approached the checkout counter.
After about ten minutes, they left the gift shop. Aragorn had bought a shirt that said "I survived Everest" with a picture a cartoony Yeti, which he changed into. Frodo and Merry both bought matching baseball caps with the Yeti on them, which they also wore. Eowyn purchased a plush Yeti, and Boromir and Faramir both bought Yeti masks.
"Come one, let's go," Aragorn said. "Where are we going?" Pippin asked, pocketing his fur. Aragorn glanced at his map. "How about the Maharaja Jungle Trek?" "As long as we can go to the rapids ride afterward, since we'll be so hot," Eomer demanded. "Deal," Aragorn decided. But he didn't know what he was getting himself into.
The Mahara... the Jungle Trek was simply a long path winding through lots of exotic plants and animal exhibits, which made it appear as if you were really in Asia. Aragorn, Eowyn, Legolas, and Frodo all got their cameras ready.
Boromir peered into a glass exhibit with a sign that read 'Komodo Dragons'. "How would you keep a dragon in a case?" he asked suspiciously. Faramir pointed to a little cave behind the glass. "It's only five feet long!" Boromir exclaimed. "Yeah!" Aragorn laughed, "To think they'd call it a dragon!" Legolas jumped in front of the, snapped a picture, which caused the flash to reflect off of the glass and blind the men. "Legolas!" Aragorn growled, "No flash next time!" "Righto!" Legolas giggled, and dashed to the next exhibit.
"What's a Giant Fruit Bat?" Pippin wondered out loud, pressing his face against the glass. Immediately, a huge bat jumped right onto the section of the glass that Pippin was plastered to. He screamed and jumped back in fear. "That, my friend, is a giant fruit bat," Merry said. Legolas instantly jumped in front of the them and snapped a picture. "Beat it, Legolas!" Frodo yelled. "Well, sor-ry," Legolas said, and skipped along past them.
At last they came to the tiger exhibit. "Has anyone seen Legolas?" Aragorn asked. "Yeah," Sam said, then pointed to the tiger den. "Holy tiger, Aragorn! Legolas is in the tiger cage!" Eomer shouted. Everyone shot Eomer a weird look, then turned their eyes back to Legolas. Legolas was obviously trying to get some up close shots of the tigers. And boy were they going to be up close, because now one was after him! Better make that two. No, three! Four! Well, in other words, Legolas' goose was almost in the oven. "Legolas, get out of there!" Aragorn ordered. "I'm trying!" Legolas said, quickly being cornered. He tried to scale the wall, but slipped back down the thick glass.
Aragorn began to panic, and started looking around for a ladder. "Aha!" he said, picking one up. Then he found some rope, propped the ladder against the glass, and climbed. He lowered the rope into the cage. "Legolas!" he shouted, "Grab the rope!" Legolas scurried over to the rope and clung to it. His eyes were squeezed shut. Aragorn pulled the Elf up, but as Legolas came over the side, the ladder collapsed. Both came crashing to the ground.
"Am I alive?" Legolas whimpered. "Unfortunately…" Boromir mumbled. Aragorn shot him a deadly look. "No more climbing into cages, got it?" Aragorn said. Legolas nodded. "Alright," Aragorn sighed, "I guess we'd better go to that 'Kali River Rapids' thing."
At the rapids everyone stopped to peer over at a raft passing them. "That doesn't look so bad," Aragorn said. At that moment, water cannons shot at the raft, they hit a rapid, causing water to splash into the raft, and it passed under a waterfall all at the same time. Everyone's mouths dropped.
"Still want to ride?" Faramir asked. "Who's hungry?" Eowyn changed the subject. The Hobbits sniffed the air. "I smell barbeque!" Pippin exclaimed suddenly. "That way!" Merry added, pointing to Discovery Island. "I don't see any barbeque shops," Eomer said. "You should know about Hobbits by now," Aragorn said, "They can smell food miles away."
They reached the BBQ stand, and Aragorn began to order, at first paying to attention to the man taking the order. Then he happened to lookup. "Denethor?!" he nearly shouted. "What the heck are you doing here?!" Faramir hid behind his brother. "I work here," Denethor grumbled, "Where's that idiot son of mine?" "Over here, Dad!" Boromir said cheerfully. "Not you, Boromir," Denethor said, searching for Faramir. "Aha!" he shouted, "You can't hide from me, Faramir!" Denethor got a crazed look in his eye, and snatched a stick from a nearby tree. After poking it in the fire, he started poking it out the window at Faramir. "Denethor!!!" Aragorn shouted, throwing a glass of water at the burning stick. "Snap out of it, Dad!" Boromir added.
After getting another worker to take their orders, the ten munched on turkey legs as they walked to Africa, where chaos would return.
"Kilimanjaro Safari," Legolas read the sign on the entrance, "What's that?" "You get in a car and they drive you through a big field with a bunch of animals," Eomer said. Legolas didn't look too intent on seeing any more animals.
They all hopped in the car, and soon took off down an African path. The tour guide, a blond young lady, cheerfully explained the rules. "Over on your left you'll see a caribou," she said. Everyone "oohed" and "aaahed" at the weird looking critter. Legolas blinded them with a snap and flash of a picture.
"On your left you'll see several Black Rhinos," the guide said enthusiastically. Then she rambled on about the ugly things. "Please don't move!" she suddenly shouted, "We're passing over a rickety bridge, and I don't want to fall into a lake filled with crocodiles!" Of course, no one believed her. However, they did look over the sides of the bridge and look at the crocodiles. SNAP! Legolas struck again.
"Whew! That was close!" the over-dramatic guide said, "Now, as we pass the gazelles, I just want to take the time to remind you that any cameras or other objects dropped on this tour will not be retrieved, so I suggest keeping your hands inside the vehicle at all times." "Miss tour guide?" Aragorn asked, "Does that rule apply to people, as well?" "Excuse me?" the guide looked confused. "We just lost two people!" Legolas shrieked. Sure enough, Frodo and Merry were running after the vehicle, trying to catch up. They had a gazelle, an ostrich, and a flamingo on their tail. The tour guide followed Legolas' lead and shrieked louder than a Nazgul. She jerked the wheel on the car and headed in the opposite direction.
By now a rhino was also chasing the two hobbits. "Heeeeelp!!!" they screamed, nearly out of breath. The safari vehicle pulled up next to them, and Aragorn yanked them into it. Just as Merry was being pulled in, the flamingo chomped on his pant and didn't let go. Merry screamed his lungs out. Legolas snapped a picture.
"We are not doing that again!" Aragorn said after the ride was over. "I agree," Eowyn said, "Who wants to go back to the resort?" They took a vote, and eight out of the ten agreed to go back. Ironically, the two who didn't want to return were Frodo and Merry.
Back at the resort, they all risked going to the food court. With Frodo, Merry wearing Yeti baseball caps, Pippin wearing a Mickey shirt, Aragorn wearing his Mt. Everest shirt, and Legolas wearing a shirt with Pooh looking at a tiger, saying "Tigger, is that you?" on it, nobody recognized them.
The ten sat down to dinner. Steel drum music was playing in the background. To their left were racks of Pirates of the Caribbean merchandise. Legolas moaned.
