Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Unless you count the manga that sits on my shelf...my prescious...

A/N: I was totally bored and didn't feel like writing a serious story so I started writing this. It's really silly and has no point other than to entertain...soooooo, yeah. Just read it and review.


A Piece of His Mind:

Kurosaki Ichigo sighed and rubbed his forehead. He was the captain of the fifth division and paperwork were giving him frown lines. He scowled (which did nothing for his frown lines) at the paperwork stacked on his desk in hatred.

The door to his door opened and he repressed a groan. He wasn't in the mood for socializing. A boy with brown silver topaz aquamarine hair stepped into the room and pinned him with a stare from his gold chocolate honey eyes. "YOU!" he growled.

Ichigo blinked and looked around the room. He turned back to the boy and pointed to himself. "Me?"

The silver topaz aquamarine haired boy stomped to his desk and slammed his balled fist into the wood desk. The wood cracked then turned into a pile of dust. "Yes, you!"

The orange-haired shinigami taichou and hero of the arrancar war stared at his desk in stunned silence before leveling the gold chocolate honey eyed boy with a wary glare. "Uhm, who are you?"

The boy looked indignant; as if Ichigo not knowing his name was a crime against him. "My name is Shinomigotikatsume the Iron Fist of Light and Destruction," he struck a super cool pose that made anyone who saw it gasp in wonder, "but you can call me Bob."

Ichigo thought he would have a heart attack from the super coolness of his pose. He shook his head and frowned. It was like he was compelled by an unexplainable force to be awed. His displeasure quickly returned. "Well... Boba... what do you want?"

Bob took a deep breath. "I teleported into my manga, got hit by a car and died, went through the shinigami academy in five seconds, trained for ten more seconds, joined the Gotei thirteen, and made it to fukutaichou level in a minute, JUST so I could talk to you!"

"Uh...what? Did you forget to take your medicine today, Boba?"

"Bleach, is like, soooo stupid! You're like, the strongest character, and all you did was train for like, twenty days!"

"Well, I–"

"Shut up! That's not all! Your hollow–"

"How the hell do you know about that?!"

"–does all the work, but you're like, 'oh, I'm so good, mmhm, I did all the work'–"

"When have I ever said that?!"

"–It's ridiculous! I hate you!"

Ichigo stared at the boy in front of him in stunned silence. He cocked an eyebrow. "Is that all...?"

"Yes," he said and drew his zanpakutou. Ichigo was almost turned into a pancake from the spiritual pressure. "Now howl to the heavens above with the grace of a feline on the prowl for a meal because he hasn't eaten in days, Gary Stew!" His sword glowed and enveloped him with a heavenly light. Amazing action music played in the background before there was a flash.

And with that, he was gone.

A member of his division rushed into the office and took in the scene. "Uh, taichou, what happened?'

Ichigo just stood there dumbly before putting a hand to his head. "I think I need a vacation."