Konoha was pretty much as villages in general are

Konoha was pretty much as villages in general are. It had houses, stores, restaurants, a school; all the attributes of a normal town. It had inhabitants who got up in the morning, went to work, shopped for groceries, ate ramen.

It was also as little of a normal village as it could be. It was a ninja village. It was The Village Hidden in the Leaf. It had training grounds, weapon shops, an ANBU office. It had inhabitants who stayed up all night, training to hide in shadows, went for secret missions, killed for money.

It was a village with enemies and as such, it needed guarding. The city walls were constantly patrolled and the gates had a nice little guard booth, manned twenty-four hours a day. Not that any enemy worth worrying about would come strolling openly through the gates, waving a declaration of war, but it was necessary to know who came and went in the village. It was a rather tedious job, but it had to be done.

For the moment it was managed by Kamizuki Izumo and Hagane Kotetsu. These two Chuunin spend their time watching the ninja teams leave for training in the morning and return home in the evening, interrupted by occasional longer absences for missions. It was a tedious job, but after a while you learned ways to make time pass. Izumo and Kotetsu had only had the post for a few months, but were already experts in the noble art of entertaining themselves at the cost of others…

--

"I hate that jutsu," Izumo muttered, wiping blood from his nose.

Kotetsu made an agreeing sniff and ran a hand along his sweaty brow.

"Look at Kakashi, though, he doesn't seem affected at all."

Izumo peered curiously at the Jounin, who looked as bored as ever as he brushed some dust from his shoulder and started rummaging in his pocket, presumably after his beloved book.

"That's odd, actually…"

"He is Konoha's best Jounin," Kotetsu shrugged.

"Yeah, but still…" Izumo looked thoughtful. "To withstand that attack without even breaking a sweat. Could it be…"

"Be what?", asked Kotetsu, straightening his shirt absently.

"The reason it doesn't affect him. If that doesn't, then maybe…"

Kotetsu's eyes widened with sudden comprehension.

"You don't mean… Sharingan Kakashi?"

"That's exactly what I mean."

"When you think about it, it does make sense," said Kotetsu enthusiastically. "This calls for an investigation."

"It does indeed," agreed Izumo. "And it's an excellent opportunity to test another of our theories."

"Iruka-sensei?"

Izumo smiled.

"You read my mind."

--

The following day was like any other in Konoha. It was sunny and that temperature when its not too cold to wear a shirt showing half the stomach and not too warm to complete a training session wearing an enormous, fur-clad parka. And like any other day in Konoha, the gates had to be guarded. Today, however, the guards were on the lookout for a certain person.

"There he is," said Kotetsu, elbowing his companion in the ribs. "Oi! Iruka-sensei! Will you come over here for a while?"

Looking slightly curious the academy teacher changed direction from the library, where he'd been heading, to the guard booth and the two men inside it.

"We need your opinion on something," said Izumo rubbing his side where Kotetsu's elbow had probably left a red mark.

"Okay", Iruka nodded, bearing a look of polite interest fit for a teacher preparing to help his students. "Let's hear it."

"What would you say," Izumo leaned across the counter and lowered his voice conspiratorially, "if we said we have reasons to believe that Hatake Kakashi is gay?"

"Well", Iruka maintained his calm expression, but the area around the scarred nose and cheeks flushed characteristically red, "what makes you say that?"

"The other day we saw him come back from training with his Genin, you know, Naruto and the others," said Izumo, clearly enjoying retelling the story," and all of a sudden, I don't know why, might have been an attempt to unmask him or something, Naruto uses the Sexy no Jutsu on him."

"And we're talking Harem Style here", Kotetsu interposed.

"And Kakashi didn't even flinch."

"No nosebleed, no nothing."

"He just gave the kid a bored look and said if that he had the energy to goof around like that he obviously hadn't trained hard enough." Izumo paused and looked at his one-man audience. "Iruka-sensei, are you okay? You look a bit…red."

"I'm fine," said Iruka, only slightly too quickly "It's just, unusually warm today, isn't it?."

"Here, have a drink." Kotetsu produced a bottle from a shadowy corner of the booth. "It's important not to get dehydrated on a hot day like this."

Iruka accepted the proffered glass and took a gulp, only to spit it out on the ground seconds later.

"It's sake!" he sputtered.

"What did you expect?" Kotetsu grinned. "Water?"

"Since the bottle is labelled Mizu no Kuni's Finest Mineral Water I was stupid enough to believe something along those lines, yes," said Iruka curtly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Of course they wouldn't let us have it here if we kept it in a sake bottle," Izumo replied matter-of-factedly.

"But Tsunade-sama can have a whole stash in her office…" Kotetsu muttered.

"… just because she's the Hokage…"

"Anyway," they both looked intently at Iruka. "About Kakashi-sensei. What do you think?"

Iruka shrugged.

"He's an elite shinobi. It's only natural for him to withstand a Genin attack."

"But the Sexy no Jutsu is not just any Genin attack!" protested Izumo. "Even Sandaime-sama fell for it."

"You've fallen for it more than once, after what I heard." Kotetsu added. "Face it, there's no man, no straight man, who can resist that jutsu."

"Just because you can't resist the Sexy no Jutsu it doesn't mean you're straight," said Iruka, glowing bright red as soon as the words left his mouth. "I mean… the opposite, of course, the opposite. Just because you can resist the Sexy no Jutsu it doesn't mean you're not straight. It doesn't prove anything." He looked nervously at his fellow Chuunin, both wearing a barely visible smirk. "Why did you want my opinion on this anyway?" he added angrily.

Izumo shrugged.

"It's a rather juicy piece of gossip, isn't it?"

"If it's true," Iruka said sharply, "which I doubt."

Izumo tilted his head and spread out his hands in a gesture that clearly said 'if that's what you want to think'.

"Anyway, we just thought we'd share it. After all, that's what gossip is for."

"I appreciate your thoughtfulness," said Iruka. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do."

The two gate guards watched him disappear among the houses, finally letting out the grins they had been keeping from their lips for quite a while.

"Well, that's as good as a confession, isn't it?" said Izumo.

"It is. A major Freudian slip."

"More like a Freudian fuck-up."

"And he's into Kakashi?"

"Totally."

"Well", Izumo sighed, suddenly serious, "as fellow shinobi I guess it's our duty to meddle."

"That's the hard life of a ninja," Kotetsu agreed.

They looked at each other.

"This'll be fun."