Author's Note: I really hope you all enjoy my very first ficmix! I was inspired by atemislives from LJ. Of course, my ficmix will never live up to her's, but I do hope that you all Bella/Edward fans enjoy this. Please read and review! - Brittany
Bella/Edward Ficmix
Strange and Beautiful; Aqualung
I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.
He rolled down the window as his Volvo sped down the street smoothly. The fresh air made his nostrils flare as he tried to follow her distinct scent. She had to be around here somewhere, she just had to.
Sometimes he had no idea what he was thinking, getting involved with a human this way. A beautiful, amazing human, but a human none the less. He often found her quirky behavior strange, but he loved it more than he was willing to admit. She had this constant attitude that just drew him in.
He shook his head, attempting to clear his mind. It would do no good to get distracted now. He continued driving through the winding roads, searching through the minds of the people lingering on the street, hoping they'd seen her somewhere close by.
After twenty minutes of driving and concentrating on the thoughts of those around him, he groaned loudly in frustration. How is it possible that she hadn't been noticed by anyone? It's like she just… disappeared.
And then he saw her – in that short, dark man's head. His fury increased dramatically as he saw her turn the corner. What was she thinking, walking through the back streets of Port Angeles at night? She was walking straight into the trap, a group of loud, drunk men that intended to harm her, to break her beyond repair.
A low growl erupted from deep inside his chest as his anger over took him. He pressed his foot to the gas, and wheeled around so the passenger door was near her. He reached over and opened it fiercely, knowing that if he had any blood left in his veins it would be boiling.
She jumped in the car without hesitation and they sped off into the night, not even taking the time to look back at the stunned group of men they'd left behind.
At least now, he knew she was safe… well, safer than she had been.
--
First Time; Lifehouse
We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home
I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the scar that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
He sighed, watching her each and every movement as closely as he could. This was not what he expected to hear coming from a fragile young woman such as her, although he couldn't deny that he felt the same.
When those three simple words spilled from her lips, he hadn't expected to feel so… so happy, so human. He hardly remembered what it felt like to be a human, to have blood pulsing through his veins at a radical speed the way hers did. No, he'd never felt this way before, not even when he was human.
He scrutinized each of the expressions that played across her angelic face, watching her watch him. A crooked smile appeared on his face as he saw the blush rise in her cheeks. He brushed his cold hand over her warm cheek, enjoying the color deepen from pink to red.
This was all as unknown to him as it was to her, and surprisingly, he took comfort in that. In this moment, he was feeling more alive than he'd felt in the last 100 years, give or take a few.
This was it… she was all he would ever need. She was his first love, his first… everything.
--
Sideways; Santana
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away
His mind was racing as thoughts of her overwhelmed him. These feelings, this love, it was all so new to him. If he were still human, his heart would be beating rapidly and his hands would be sweating profusely.
He saw Jasper watching him intently, feeling his emotions as he felt them himself. A small smile flickered across his brother's face before he left the room. Finally, he was alone… alone with his thoughts of her.
He leaned back against the stairs, his thoughts miles away from where he was. Would he ever stop feeling this way? Would he ever be able to hold her in his arms and kiss her without having the overwhelming need to bite her… to end her life?
Only time would tell, and he knew all too well that time was slowly running out.
--
Fallen; Sarah McLachlan
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.
Tearless sobs ripped through his body, one by unbearable one. What had he done? What was he thinking?
Alice was by his side in an instant, her hand in his as she soothed him through her thoughts. It's going to be fine, she promised. She will be okay, I know she will. She has to be.
When he looked into his sister's eyes, he could see she couldn't guarantee that the only girl he could ever love would be alright. Leaving her alone in that forest was the hardest thing he'd ever done and would ever have to do. How could he live the next 100 years without watching the blush rise in her cheeks or hear her murmur his name in her sleep?
Another dry sob overtook him, and he knew he couldn't take much more. So, without a word to anyone he fled the room and ran from the house as fast as his feet would take him.
It's been said that time heals all wounds, but more often than not the wounds leave deep scars behind.
--
Learning To Breathe; Switchfoot
I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Her arms were securely wrapped around his waist in a hold he could easily break if he wanted to… but he didn't. All he wanted was to hold her close to him and promise her that he'd never let her go.
He'd made the biggest mistake of his life walking away from her all those months ago, and now that she was here in Italy he wanted to do nothing more than kiss her senseless.
Her body trembled against his, and he could see the fear of losing him was overwhelming her. He clung to her tightly, hoping against all hope that one day he would gain her trust again. He would prove to her that their love was forever, even if it was the last thing he ever did.
--
Far Away; Nickelback
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chanceJust one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
He stroked her cheek softly as she fell into a deep sleep against the seat of the airplane. She whimpered quietly, her lower lip trembling as she whispered his name. "Don't leave me, Edward." Her voice came out in a broken whisper.
His stomach dropped and he became very, very still. How could he have done this to her? It was his fault that she was this broken, that she dreamed only of him walking away from her the way he had in the forest when he told her he didn't want her anymore.
He closed his eyes in attempt to gain control of his emotions. He had to keep calm, at least for her. He slowly slipped his hand into hers and held on tight. He silently promised himself that he'd never make her feel the way she did when he left. He never wanted to make her feel so alone that she felt the need to jump off a cliff just to hear his voice.
Her whimpers quieted as she moved closer to him, snuggling up close enough to rest her head against his chest. He smiled slightly, although it didn't quite reach his eyes.
"I'm here now, Bella, and I'm never letting you go," he promised quietly.
--
Everything; Lifehouse
You are the strength that keeps me walking.
You are the hope that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
He twirled the beautiful diamond ring between his thumb and his forefinger carefully. This was it. He was ready to ask her to be his wife, for now and for forever. He smiled to himself, picturing the moment he would get down on one knee and ask her to marry him.
He couldn't even begin to picture his life without her. She was all he ever wanted and all he would ever need. She's the reason he's still here in Forks, pretending to be human so he can spend every minute of every day by her side without anyone else questioning it. She'll always been the one to take his breath away, and she's the only one that has ever touched his heart. That's how it would always be…
A quiet knock at his bedroom door told him that she was here. He took a deep breath and prepared himself for what he hoped to be the best moment of his life.
--
She Will Be Loved; Maroon 5
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
He watched Jacob's warm body curl around hers, slowly warming her temperature in the freezing mountains. He'd been jealous plenty of times before, but it was never anything like this. He never had to watch the love of his life wrapped in another man's arms, not firsthand anyway.
A low growl threatened to escape from deep inside his chest, but he held it at bay. It wasn't worth waking up Bella just so he could voice his dislike of their current position.
He sighed deeply, watching Bella's chest rise and fall with each steady breath she took. Her angelic face seemed peaceful enough, even when she wrinkled her nose due to an unpleasant dream. How she could ever truly believe that she was ordinary, not anything special, was beyond him.
He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temples in attempt to control the headache that was surely coming. Jacob's constant presence seemed to bring on these little headaches that often turned into painful migraines.
His eyes snapped open to see Bella moving around in the sleeping bag. There was too much movement in that direction for her to still be asleep. When he heard her yawn and push Jacob away, a sense of relief flooded through him.
"Edward?" Her groggy voice echoed in the empty space as her favorite crooked smile appeared on his face. He would never get tired of hearing her call out for him in the morning. It was a sound he planned on hearing every morning for the rest of his existence.
